52. Lavinia #2
“These are the smaller packages. There are two other boxes behind those boxes over there.” He points in the general direction behind me but I'm not looking. My eyes are focused on the box in front of me as I try to wrap my mind around what he’s told me.
“I need to sit down,” I say.
My knees are weak, and if I don’t sit, I’m going to fall down. I walk out of the room still carrying the cup and saucer in my hand. It’s so delicate. I’m afraid that I’m going to drop it and it’s going to shatter into pieces. I sit down heavily on the couch.
My mind no longer seems to be working because I can’t comprehend how someone does something like this. Years worth of packages sitting there, as if Roman’s been waiting for me to come back to a life I didn’t know I had. I can’t stop the tears from falling.
Roman’s kneeling in front of me now, gently brushing the tears off my face.
“Baby, why are you crying?”
“Because I hate the idea of you being alone,” I choke out through the tears. I said it to him before, but I feel like it’s worth repeating. “Why did you buy me those presents?”
“I thought you’d like them,” Roman says simply. There’s a look in his hazel eyes that tells me the answer isn’t as simple as he’s making it out to be.
I shake my head. “Then, why didn’t you give them to me? Why keep them locked up in that room?”
Roman releases a breath, his hands coming to rest on my thighs. He drops his head, and I run a hand through his hair. I know this isn’t easy for him, talking about his feelings, not as easy as it would be for me.
“You’re going to think it’s pathetic,” he says.
“Let me be the judge of that.” Very carefully so I don’t break it, I set the cup and saucer down beside me.
Roman doesn’t look up, but I feel him take a deep breath.
“You were never far from my mind. Even when I was traveling all over the world, I’d see things and I’d think of you.
I bought these little trinkets, hoping one day I’d have the opportunity to give them to you and get to see the look on your face when you unwrap these packages.
Pathetically, in my mind I built a life around you.
I don’t know how to stop the way I feel about you. ”
My heart feels like it’s about to explode.
If he thought this was going to stop my tears, it has the opposite effect.
I don’t know how people can go through life and not feel the way I feel right now.
I don’t know how they can go through life not being the object of someone’s devotion.
I might have been in love before, but that love feels like a weak comparison to what I feel for Roman.
My love for him grounds me and fills me up. It makes me feel invincible and at the same time so fragile. It’s as delicate as a butterfly’s wing and just as vibrant.
“I love you,” I say, sniffling back my tears. “I am so pathetically in love with you, and I think I have been my whole life.”
Roman sits back, eyes wide with shock. “You love me?”
“Why are you so surprised? Why wouldn’t I love you?
You are the kindest, most amazing person I’ve ever met.
You do everything for everyone and expect nothing in return because you think you don’t deserve it, but you do.
You deserve everything.” I push back his hair and lean closer so he can see my eyes and see the love that shines in them.
“For the rest of our lives, I’m going to be right here beside you. I’m going to be two feet away from you always. You’re never going to get the chance to feel alone. Every time you turn, boom, there I am.”
The most glorious smile steals across his mouth. He’s so beautiful it makes my heart ache. I want to scream at every person who made him feel like he doesn’t deserve love and attention.
“You say that like it’s a threat, Blossom. Really, it’s been part of my master plan all along.” He kisses me softly, and I try to capture the moment in my memories forever. The feel of his lips, the salt of my tears.
“Yeah? You won’t get bored of me?”
Roman raises an eyebrow like he can’t believe I’m seriously asking him this question.
“Did you not see all the packages that I bought for you over all these years? I’m never going to get bored of you, Lavinia.
I’ve been in love with you since before I even knew what love was.
My whole life has been a journey to you and just because I’ve reached the destination doesn’t mean I ever want to leave. ”
Gently, he pushes my hair back. “For me, there’s only you, Blossom. The place where I feel peace, comfort, safety, all of the things I’ve never had before. You’re my home.”
I let the pathetic tears overcome me. There’s a lot of emotions inside me right now and the only way to get them out is to cry. Who would’ve guessed that when I got left at the altar, I was going to find the love of my life?
Roman pulls me in against him, wrapping his arms around me as he places gentle kisses all over my face. In soft words, he keeps telling me that he loves me.
I absorb his words into my skin, into my psyche, letting them become a part of my soul.
He falls back, pulling me with him, and I giggle into his mouth. We are lying on the floor, laughing and crying, and if this isn’t the best description of love, I don’t know what is. The world is quiet around us, hushed in a way that feels like we’re the only two people left.
Roman turns us onto our side, a lightness in his eyes that I’ve rarely seen before. “Now you know how desperately in love with you I’ve been. How much I’ve wanted you and obsessed about you.”
I keep my arms wrapped around him tightly, gently stroking my fingers through his hair. “If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m a little obsessed, too.”
We stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, until our children demand to be fed. And I swear when we get up, it’s like the world has changed. Because there’s no way we had something so monumental happen to us and the world remained the same.