Chapter 32
Seth
Despite the late hour, I’m not ready to fall asleep yet. Having her in my bed and feeling her soft body next to mine is a feeling I can’t explain. Needing to feed this connection, I say, “Did you get those days off so we can go to California.”
“Oh my God, yes,” she exclaims in the dark room.
“What do you want to do while we’re in LA? I’ll be busy for two days, but we’ll have three to do whatever you want.”
Layla inhales, gets on her elbow, and looks down at me. A piece of her hair falls over her face, and I tuck it behind her ear. Her breasts graze my chest, and it sends vibrations down to my dick. It’s after one in the morning, and we’ve fucked twice, but the best part is the post fuck talking.
“I want to go to the beach, and I want to drive down to San Diego. I’ve always wanted to go,” she says. “And eat at the best restaurants.” She lies back down and sighs. “But I want to go see Gaga before we leave.”
“Done,” I say, happy that I can give this to her.
“I have a question for you,” she says. I let out a yawn as I wait to hear the question. “Have you considered seeing your own therapist about your dad?” My eyes pop open at the question. No one has ever asked me that before other than Coach. At the time when I unloaded some of this on him, he was my coach, and he always kept things professional. I was lucky he didn’t tell me to shut the fuck up and kick me out of his house that day I just showed up there.
Instead of telling me to fuck off, he talked me down and told me that having a child is not the end of the world and that I had it in me to be a decent parent. At the time, I could never anticipate that I’d be the sole caregiver to my daughter, but I had no choice when her mother died so tragically. There was no way I was going to let her grandparents raise her. I only met her grandmother, but she made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, so I took my daughter and took charge of her life.
“Hello?” Layla says after a few minutes.
“Oh, lord,” I say and roll my eyes in the dark room. “Can we not talk about him anymore?”
“Rude,” she hisses.
“I’m not trying to be. He just makes me want to pull out all my hair sometimes. And I tried therapy. I’ll tell you about it another time but suffice to say it was a waste of time for me.”
Thankfully she doesn’t say another word, and after a few minutes, I hear her even breathing. Relieved not to have to talk about my dad or therapy anymore for the moment, I turn on my side and close my eyes.
I don’t know which is worse. Leaving my dad this morning as he cried and begged me to come back soon or the scene in front of me right now. Dad cried so much that it made Jasmine cry. She clung to him, which only made him cry harder. When I managed to pull her from his arms, she reached back for him. As we walked to the door, she told him to come, which brought more tears to his eyes. He only calmed down when I promised we’d be back for a weekend in the next month. I told him not to push it when he asked if we could come sooner.
Since Jasmine had been saying Johnny’s name since we returned from upstate a day ago, I drop her off at the Chastains for a playdate. Afterward, my driver takes us to the hospital to visit Gaga. Based on how she is today, I’m happy I didn’t bring my daughter here.
“How about some of these carrots?” Layla says. “You love carrots.”
That might be true, but I don’t get how anyone can eat these tasteless things. Layla cuts a piece with the plastic fork and puts it to Gaga’s mouth. She lifts her hand and smacks it away. She hits it so hard that the fork bounces back and hits Layla in the cheek.
“Shit,” I mutter. I sprint across the room, pull Layla from the chair, and move her as far away from her grandmother as possible.
She hisses when I rub my thumb on the red mark on her face. “Ouch,” she moans.
“It’s just a scratch,” I tell her. “It will be okay.”
“Stella, I keep telling you to stay away from those boys.” Gaga points at me and says, “He looks like trouble.”
“Gaga, I’m Layla. Stella is my mother.” I moisten a paper towel and dab Layla’s cheek.
“Why are you home so late from school?” Gaga asks.
“We’re at the hospital, Gaga.” Layla sighs and curses under her breath in frustration.
“I know where I am,” Gaga says. “Stella, go tell your father it’s time for dinner.”
“Gaga, I’m not—” I put a finger to her lips.
She looks up at me with surprise. “Don’t disagree with her. It will only agitate her. Just go with it,” I whisper.
There’s a loud crash on the floor. Gaga has tossed her tray of food away. She’s still in her chair, but she’s scowling at us. “I said go tell your father dinner is ready,” she repeats.
I look into Layla’s eyes and nod slowly at her.
“Okay,” she says. “Let me clean this up before I call him. You know how he likes a clean house.”
Gaga’s scowl softens a bit. She gives us a curt nod. Layla bends down and picks up the discarded food. While she does that, I press the call button for the nurse.
“I made his favorite,” Gaga says. She’s smiling now.
“What’s his favorite?” I ask her.
“Baked chicken and mashed potatoes,” she says proudly. “He likes mine better than his mother’s. Her food is always so salty.” She runs her fingers through her stringy hair. “I need to fix my hair before he gets here. He likes it when I look pretty.”
“Let me help you get ready, Gaga,” I say to Layla’s grandma.
She blushes and smiles shyly at me. “Aren’t you gallant?” she says with a flirtatious lilt to her voice. When the nurse gets here and sees the mess, she says she’ll call the nurse’s assistant. She takes the tray out of the room while I wheel Gaga into the bathroom. She sits there while I brush her hair and smiles at herself in the mirror.
“I need my lipstick. Stell, bring me my red lipstick.” Layla comes running into the bathroom with a tube of lipstick. She applies it to her grandmother’s lips, and when Gaga sees the finished product, she smiles again at her reflection.
“He’ll be here soon, Gaga. Let’s get you into bed so you can wait for him.” Layla’s voice catches, and her eyes fill with tears. She looks away right before they spill.
Once I wheel Gaga back and get her into bed, I sit next to her and take her hand in mine. She smiles at me and closes her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.
Layla’s soft cries force me to my feet. I walk to her and take her in my arms. She buries her face in my chest as she cries. I have no words of comfort to offer her. When I was younger and dealing with my father, all I wanted was for someone to be there to listen. I didn’t need advice because I knew in my heart I could not fix him. I knew I had to deal with the hand I was dealt in life and the parent department, but his condition left me ostracized.
Layla’s situation is different. My dad’s been a mess for as long as I can remember. That’s his norm, but Gaga is the backbone of the family, and seeing her fall apart like this is not only painful but uncomfortable.
“She knows you’re here, and she knows she’s loved. All you can do is be there for her. And you’re not alone in this,” I whisper.
She’s not. She has a big family and she has me now. Gaga is hardly ever alone. From the time visiting hours begin, there’s a family member at her side.
“I know,” she says into my chest. “It’s hard to see her this way. She’s always been so strong. If you ever had a problem, she would try to fix it, even if all you wanted to do was vent,” she says with a laugh. “She would say, ‘Don’t be a crybaby. The only thing that’s not fixable is death.’”
“That part of her is still there.”
She cries some more, and I cradle the back of her neck. We stay like this until the door to the room opens and June Bug walks in wearing his hotel uniform. He walks to the bed and gently kisses his grandmother’s forehead.
“Do I need to go upstate and beat anyone’s ass?” he asks while he examines Gaga. He adjusts the blanket on her before he turns to face us. I snort and roll my eyes. He might be muscular, but I have about five inches on him. I can take him, and it wouldn’t be much of a fight.
“You’re gonna go beat my dad’s ass?” I taunt. “You’re going to put your hands on an old man?”
“If I need to,” he says before he addresses Layla. “How was the trip, Lay?” He comes closer, grabs her chin, and inspects her.
“Good. His dad is nice. We had a good time, so knock it off, June Bug. I mean it.” She sniffles and he arches an eyebrow at me.
“If it was so great, why are you crying?” He takes off his uniform blazer and tosses it on the chair. “And I have a big problem with that red mark on your face.” He cracks his neck as if he’s gearing up for a fight.
“Because Gaga was so confused. She kept calling me Stella, and she hit me in the face with a fork. Seth’s been really good with her. He’s the one who figured out how to calm her down. Stop your bullshit.”
She leaves my arms and tries to push June Bug, but he smirks and messes her hair like one would do to a small child. Then he puts her in a headlock before she pushes him away.
“Alright, cool, but I’m still watching him.” He points at me. He gives us his back and looks down at his grandmother. “I’m gonna sit with her until your mom gets here,” he says.
“Come over to Seth’s apartment when Mom gets here,” Layla says. “Take a break and have dinner with us.”
“Cool, cool,” he says. “Text me the address. Ya’ll can go. I’m gonna read while she sleeps.” He takes his backpack and pulls out an iPad. “Me and the crew at work started a book club.”
That shocks me so much that I chuckle. “What are you reading?” I ask.
“Not my choice, but Pride and Prejudice. Every other book will be a classic. I voted against that. I don’t want to read that boring ass shit, but I got outvoted.” He waves the iPad in the air and sits. “So far, Elizabeth Bennet is too damn haughty.”
“Wait? You think she’s the problem?” I ask before I can think better of it. “What about Mr. Darcy? You identify with that snob?”
“That man knows his worth. What’s wrong with that?” June Bug asks. “Oh, wait. It’s only okay for a woman to know her worth. If a man does, he’s an asshole.”
“What is wrong with Elizabeth?”
“She could have been nicer,” June Bug counters.
“Right because women need to be nice to men who are assholes to them,” Layla says with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“I’ll give you my full analysis when I’m done, but so far, Elizabeth is on my shit list. I’ll see you two later.” He turns on his iPad and ignores us.