Chapter 10
Three years later...
Odette
I tapped my pen on the medical chart from the last appointment.
Only one more to go. Around a year ago, I got hired at one of those quick cares in town.
I loved my job; my schedule was mainly normal, working seven a.m. to four p.m. Monday through Friday, but I did pick up shifts at the hospital if they were short and it was my weekend without Lux.
"Odette, your last appointment is here, but uh...the school called. Said they couldn't get ahold of you," Gennie, our receptionist, told me.
"What?" I gasped as I quickly pulled my phone out of my white jacket pocket.
I always kept the ringer off when I was working, but had it on vibrate.
I could feel the vibration and checked it when I had a minute.
Since I hadn't felt anything all day, I didn’t spare it a second glance.
I noticed I had three missed calls from Lux's school.
That girl... She was six years old, starting first grade, but she acted like she was thirteen.
I realized the button on the side of my cell phone had been flipped down, effectively changing it from vibrate to silent mode.
Damnit. Yesterday I got a phone call saying she pushed a boy on the playground. When I asked her about it, she shrugged and said he was picking on another girl, and she was tired of it.
"Do you make fun of her?"
"No! She’s nice; I like her glasses," she said as she ate her snack.
"What do the other kids say to her?"
"Well, Bobby is always mean to her. He calls her four eyes and throws sticks at her."
"He does, what?"
She nodded. "When I said something to the teachers, they told me to mind my own business."
"Excuse me?"
"I know. Uncle Leon said that I should punch him in the face the next time he does that, but Daddy told me that we use our words, not our fists, but I didn't like that. So, I pushed him instead." She nodded as she happily ate her gummy bears.
"Daddy is right; we use our words, not our fists. Did you ask him to stop?"
She sighed as if I were bothering her with my questions. "No."
"Next time, you ask him to stop first. I'll talk to the school about this, ‘minding my own business’ thing.”
That seemed to make her happy, and she agreed she wouldn't push or punch anyone anymore.
I listened to the voicemail left by the school.
"Good afternoon, Ms. James, this is the school's nurse.
I'm just calling to let you know that Lux came in here earlier; she has a fever and a bit of a swollen throat.
I think she might have strep, and she needs to go home.
If you could give the school a call at your earliest convenience. ..thank you."
Shit, that was two hours ago! Why did they wait until now to call the clinic?
I dialed the school's number, and after hitting a few prompts, I was transferred to the nurse's office.
"Hello?"
"Yes, hi, this is Odette James. I'm so sorry I missed a phone call about my daughter, Lux. I'm packing up to leave work and head there now."
"Oh! No need, Ms. James. Your husband...oh sorry, ex-husband, came and got her."
"Ah, okay, thank you."
Murphy and I didn't see each other much—okay, Murphy and I barely saw each other.
The first year after the divorce was painstakingly difficult.
I thought I would be okay when he signed the divorce papers, but I was irrationally angry at him.
Angry at him for who he'd become, angry at him for the affair, and ungodly angry at him for signing the papers.
I knew my anger didn't make sense, but I was.
I held on to that anger for a bit too long.
Because of that anger, I didn't see Murphy for almost an entire year after the divorce was finalized—pickups were handled between our families and any communication went through the app.
The custody agreement was finalized by a judge, and even though I didn't want child support, that's not how it works. Even with fifty-fifty custody, Murphy made more than I did, so he was ordered to pay a certain amount. I was obnoxiously stubborn and refused, so he ended up opening a savings account for Lux, which he deposited all the child support payments into. It’s become a college or future fund for Lux, and that was something I could live with at the time.
Eventually, as I found myself, the anger started to fade.
It had been the first time in my entire adult life that I was alone.
It was scary and terrifying, but I came out of it a stronger, albeit, different person.
I found love in cooking, yoga, and reading.
I spent a lot of time figuring out what made me happy, which was significantly different from the life I had been living with Murphy.
I dated...not a lot, but enough. It took a year for me to sleep with someone else, and after he left, I got sick right after. I realized then that maybe I wasn't ready and put dating on the back burner for a bit.
Wynn hassled me about it constantly. "You're hot and single. You could take a different lover every night if you wanted, who cares?"
But that had never been my way. It’s not that I didn't love sex or miss it—because I did—but it wasn't where my focus was. My focus was on rebuilding myself, my life, and making sure my daughter was happy. All the rest was just static.
Around six months ago, I met Benji. He was nice, safe, and I didn't get physically sick when we slept together.
He was loving, attentive, and cared about me.
He'd met Lux in passing, but nothing serious yet.
It was outlined in our custody agreement that I had to inform Murphy of any male presence that was going to be around Lux for any extended period, and vice versa.
My stomach always churned when I thought of it, that the day would come when he told me he was introducing her to someone, that he planned on marrying her, that he had changed for her.
I shook those thoughts from my head and opened my contacts.
We'd outgrown the app over a year ago as things settled down and our lives settled into a new norm. While we only talked about Lux, and I hadn’t seen him in over eight months, we had both matured enough to be able to handle our shit and could speak like adults.
I couldn't remember the last time I had to call Murphy. I held my breath as the phone rang.
"Hello?" he said tentatively.
"Hi... Hey."
"Hey," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry. The school called, and my phone had been turned to silent. Is Lux with you, or your mom?"
"She's here with me. She’s feeling pretty crummy."
"Do you mind if I come pick her up?"
Silence greeted me, and it was in the silence that I realized I hadn't been to his house, our old house, since the night I left.
"Sure, I don't mind at all. Don't rush; she’s napping right now. Finish up your workday."
With a few awkward goodbyes since we didn't really talk, I informed him I'd text him when I was on my way. I knew we were supposed to inform the other one if there was someone important in our lives that would be spending time with Lux, but I figured I'd give him a heads up just in case.
After I had seen my last appointment for the day, I sent him a text letting him know I would be taking off. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to go to my old house for the first time in years.