Chapter 33
Odette
Wynn plopped down next to me on the sofa that Susan had turned into a makeshift bed for me in her living room.
“Blink three times if you need me to bust you out of here.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her, even though it caused a searing pain in my side.
“Shit, sorry.” She winced at my pain and looked around. “Where is Murphy? I’m half shocked he isn’t telling me it’s time to go since I’ve caused you to laugh.” She held her hand up in mock terror.
Even though Murphy had been distant these last few days, he was hovering, and I couldn’t help but recall our conversation from yesterday.
“Murphy, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re hovering.”
“I know.”
“Could you maybe loosen up the reins a little bit? I’m not made of glass… I can pee on my own.”
Imagine my horror when he insisted his mother accompany me on all bathroom trips, and I drew the line at letting her in the room with me. He finally looked over at me, which I could tell he’d been avoiding.
“I can give you five feet of space at all times, Odette, but that’s the best I can do.”
I groaned. “Murph…”
“I live to bother you. Please, just let me.”
And then he handed me another plate of food that I absolutely did not need to be eating.
A smile had graced my lips at the thought of it. “He’s at his weekly therapy session.”
Wynn’s mouth dropped in surprise.
“Yup,” I popped the P to better prove my point.
“He also does woodworking. He’s no longer a lawyer.”
“Excuse me?”
“I know. Over dinner the other day, his dad asked how his projects were going and if he was going to need to push back any deadlines. At first, I thought they were talking about cases, but he started speaking about this bar he was making, and he had put a pause on orders on his website for the time being.”
“I’ll say it again, excuse me?”
“I know, Wynn, I know. I haven’t gotten a single second alone with him to ask him about it, but I’m about to go crazy.”
“Maybe you should ask him out on a date.”
I whipped my head to hers. “You think?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “What, are you afraid he’s going to say no?”
“No, I’m more afraid of what it means.”
She snuggled into my side. “I know, Ode, I know. But I think you just have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. If he’s worth it.”
“I’m in love with him.”
“I know.”
I jabbed my finger into her side. “No lecture? No telling me how stupid I am?”
“No. You’re the least stupid person I know. You’re also the best person I know, and if you’re in love with him, then I believe in you, and I believe in him.”
I felt myself relax with her. I’d spent the last few days going back and forth with myself.
I love him, but was that enough?
Could I trust him again?
We had Lux to think about.
Could I trust him again?
The truth was, I’d never know unless I tried, and I laid around, engulfed in people’s presence, but I found myself only wanting to be around Murphy and Lux.
I want to try.
The door opened, and Murphy strolled in, almost frowning when he saw Wynn draped over me.
“I swear, I’m not hurting her, lover boy, calm down.”
I gave him a nod, confirming that what she said was true.
I heard Lux screech from outside, “Daddy! You’re home! Wynn said I had to leave her and Momma alone so they could have some adult time. You never have adult time, Daddy!”
“Lux, that’s rude.”
“It can’t be rude if it’s true. Daddy doesn’t have friends; he has me, Leon, Grandma, and Grandpa.”
“Gee, thanks, kid, there go all my cool points.” He grinned at her, not the least bit offended that our child basically called him out for having no friends.
“It’s Thursday! It’s journal day!”
Oh yeah, the journals.
“Maybe not tonight, Lux…we have company.”
“Oh no, you don’t. I was about to leave, anyway.”
Wynn started gathering up her stuff to take off, shot me a wink, and left far earlier than she had originally planned. Giving me, Murphy, and Lux the house for once.
“Journal time! Journal time!”
“Okay, okay, you go grab yours, and I’ll get mine.”
I didn’t miss the way that Murphy's face was now crimson, and I had to admit that I loved it.
Lux was back in seconds, and I could tell Murphy was intentionally taking longer.
“Daddy! Let’s go!” Lux shouted before I could call him on it, and I chuckled.
Forever the charmer, that girl.
He rounded the corner, sheepishly, and then said, “Okay, you first, kiddo.”
She listed her good things, her bad things, and how they made her feel. If she could have reacted differently to a situation, which one would it be, and why? I was a little bit in awe.
“Do you do this often?” I whispered.
“Every Thursday.”
“Okay! Your turn, Daddy!”
Murphy did the same thing, keeping his questions and answers pretty vague.
“Okay! And now Mom’s!”
I looked at both of them in confusion.
“Mine?”
“Of course, silly! We update yours every Thursday, too!”
“Maybe not tonight, Lux.”
“No, this is the way we do it.”
I could tell she was a few seconds away from throwing a tantrum.
Even though she was starting to adjust back to her normal self and routine, the first few days after the accident really scared her.
She was thriving on her routine, and who was I to mess that up?
Not to mention, I was dying to find out what they were talking about.
“Please,” she begged, and I saw Murphy’s face cave.
“Okay, okay. Let me go get it.”
He walked off back toward the room Lux used when she’s here and emerged a few seconds later carrying a large book that looked like a scrapbook and an old Bible.
Color me intrigued.
“What’s this?”
Murphy cleared his throat, turning his attention to Lux. “Why don’t I explain this to Mom while you brush your teeth and get ready for bed? Then we can add to it together.”
She let that option roll around for a minute before she nodded, maybe picking up on the semi-charged energy around us. She took off toward her bathroom, and I watched her disappear through the door before I turned to Murphy.
“What’s this?”
“Um, well...it’s, it’s something I started a while ago, before Lux even knew what it was.”
“Okay…”
“I realized how much it sucked when I would miss out on the moments in her life, or yours, when I wasn’t around.
And I realized that maybe you felt the same way…
so I started documenting them, and once Lux realized what I was doing, it became a routine.
Update Mom’s book when we update our own journals. ”
Tears I couldn’t help were building, and I needed to see it. “Can I see it?”
He handed me the leather-bound journal, and across it had in a very pretty script, “Recipes for Life.”
Turning the page, I found pictures from Lux’s first Christmas with Murphy and not me.
There were pictures of them sledding, one of them going down, one of Lux in tears because she was young and hated it.
Another page was full of the day Murphy taught Lux to jump rope, and by taught, I mean, according to his pictures, fell on his ass. ..a lot .
The book was littered with memories I wasn’t a part of, and while my heart broke that I missed out on them, I couldn’t help but cry in happiness that Murphy cared enough to make this for me. Next to each picture was a handwritten note.
“ I taught Lux to jump rope today. To be honest, I failed. Leon did it. I think I might have broken my spine.” Some of the notes weren’t next to pictures at all, just notes of how he was handling parenting, how he was trying his best to do what he thought I would do.
I knew I didn’t have the time to look through everything before Lux came back and I didn’t want her to see me crying or how much this affected me.
“Thank you,” I mouthed at him through my tears, and noticed he had some unshed tears as well.
“I’m ready!” Lux shouted as she made her way back. “I’m ready to update our life book!”
I couldn’t help but smile.
Me, too, kid... Me, too.