Chapter 11
The F Word
? Don’t Mind If I Do - Riley Green, Ella Langley
Griffin
While Angie’s busy checking on Sadie again, I pull out my phone and text Olivia.
Me: Are you still at the big house?
Olivia: Yeah. Why?
Me: I’m with Angie at the sanctuary. Would you mind bringing over some leftovers?
Olivia: Is this a date?
Me: You could call it that.
Olivia: Be there in fifteen.
After tucking my phone in my pocket, I pull out a few pillows and a quilt I keep in the saddle box in the back of the truck for picnics with my nieces, laying them out on the tailgate.
I step back and look at my handiwork, but something still feels off, so I rearrange everything for a second time.
I’m not like Wilder and Jaxon. I don’t know how to do this romance shit.
When was the last time I went on a date?
My stomach plummets when I realize the last date I went on resulted in Angelina’s engagement to Tyler.
It was last spring. Mama entered me into the bachelor auction as per usual. With Wilder happily married and Jaxon well on his way, it was the first year I had to stand up on that stage alone to be auctioned off like prize cattle for Mama’s charity fundraiser.
The prize was a trail ride to the waterfall right here at the ranch. Everything was going smoothly until Tyler’s arm shot up. I pinned him with a glare, but he didn’t let up. Competition waned, and eventually, my dipshit best friend was declared the winner. I could see him laughing in the back row.
When the day finally came to fulfill the date, Ty showed up with Angelina in tow.
God, she looked so fucking beautiful in a pair of skintight jeans and a cropped blouse that showed off a sliver of tan skin at her midriff.
She had on a pair of floral cowboy boots, and her hair was braided down her back with a few waves framing her face.
I remember staring at her red lips, wishing I could feel them on me one last time.
I felt like an asshole for thinking of my best friend’s girl like that, but it wasn’t the first or last time it happened. Angie had already burrowed her way under my skin, and no red lights or warning signs were going to change that.
Tyler insisted on riding double despite Angie’s protest. She mounted Storm with ease. Tyler took the space behind her, caging her between his arms. I had to look away.
I wordlessly rode out to the waterfall like the third wheel of a goddamn tricycle, leading the way down the familiar paths of my family’s ranch while Angie’s laugh broke through the silence.
The best sound in the fucking world, and it was all for him. I wanted it to be mine. I wanted to keep all of her laughter and her smiles for myself.
The sound of rushing water drowned out their chatter as I dismounted Maverick and tied him to the hitching post. There was a picnic set up on the grassy patch near the creek bed with two glasses and a bottle of wine—probably Wilder’s idea of a joke.
He knew I’d be coming out here with Tyler, but he couldn’t have known Angie would be with him.
He gripped her hips and helped her down off the horse. She practically beamed at him when she saw the setup.
“Did you do all of this?” she asked.
He nodded and pulled her against him. I should’ve left, but I didn’t. I wanted to be near her, even if it meant torturing myself in the process.
Tyler led Angie to sit on the blanket, and I moved away from the scene, leaning back against a nearby tree. He poured them two glasses of wine, and I stared out at the waterfall between glimpses of her. She was breathtaking in a way I couldn’t put into words.
At some point, Tyler shifted onto one knee with a ring in his hand.
I was far enough away that I couldn’t make out his words, but her nod was as unmistakable as the happy tears streaming down her perfect face, and the kiss that followed cracked my heart wide open.
I’d lost her long before then, but it felt like the final nail in the coffin.
Tyler stood with her in his arms and spun them in a circle.
He caught my eye, smirking. It was then that I realized this was some sort of carefully orchestrated plan on his part, and I’d fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.
Our friendship changed in the blink of an eye.
I finally saw him for who he truly was. Still, I stuck around because he had her, and I was determined to make sure he treated her right.
Tires crunch on gravel, drawing me out of the hauntingly vivid memory. Olivia hops out of the driver’s seat of her black SUV with a wicker basket in one hand and a bouquet of sunflowers from Mama’s greenhouse in the other.
I shake my head as she approaches. “Not that kind of date, Livie girl.”
“Flowers are always a good idea.” She places them and the basket on the tailgate and gives my forearm a reassuring squeeze. “Good luck.”
Olivia disappears back down the road as Angie emerges from the stables. “Delivery?”
“Something like that.”
I gesture to the picnic laid out on the tailgate and hold out the flowers. “For you.”
She buries her face in them, but I can still see the smile that crinkles the corners of her eyes. “How did you know I love sunflowers?”
My thoughts fail me, and all I can say is, “Wilder.”
What is it about that smile that suddenly has me tongue-tied?
“I love them. Thank you.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her Olivia picked them, but I think better of it before I make a total ass of myself. Obviously, I’m meant to take the credit. I really am terrible at this romantic shit.
Our eyes lock and hold. I can feel the electricity thrumming between us, like a current drawing me in. I step toward her, caging her against the open tailgate, then I take the flowers from her hand and set them aside.
It would be so easy to kiss her right now. She is my wife after all, and what good is being married if I can’t kiss her anytime I want? My palms find the soft curve of her waist, lingering there a moment longer than necessary.
“Griff.” My name comes out a little breathy as her hands gently press into my shoulders.
“Yes, Angel?”
She draws in a shaky breath as her eyes dart to my mouth. “What are you doing?”
My nose brushes hers. “Thinking of all the things I want to do to you that don’t involve dinner.”
There’s a wicked gleam in Angie’s eyes as she trails a finger down my chest, and the devil on my shoulder sits up straighter.
“Angel…” It’s a warning, but she barrels right past it.
“Touch me.”
I suck in a lungful of Angelina scented air, my grip tightening on her waist. “We shouldn’t.”
Her mouth quirks up at one corner. “We absolutely should.”
A better man would have the strength to resist her, but I’ve always been weak when it comes to Angelina Rossi.
I lift her onto the tailgate and trail my hands down her thick thighs, spreading them open just enough for me to step between them.
My palm slides under her hair, tracing the side of her face.
Just as I’m about to give in to temptation, Angie’s phone dings. She pinches her eyes shut and blows out a harsh breath. “Ignore it.”
It dings again.
Her shoulders slump, and it’s clear by her expression that the moment has passed. I step back, mentally cursing technology.
Angelina
Tyler: I made a mistake.
Tyler: Let me explain.
Griffin hops onto the tailgate, resting his back beside the wheel well. He digs into the picnic basket and pulls out several steaming containers of food. “Tyler again?”
“Yep.” I pop the P for emphasis, lifting the lid of a large container to divert my attention anywhere but on the man sitting across from me.
He almost kissed me. What’s worse is I wanted him to.
I was going to let it happen… again. God.
What is wrong with me? I just got out of a three-year relationship, and I hopped into bed with the first man who looked at me after that—literally.
Now we’re having a tailgate picnic that looks and feels an awful lot like a date.
There’s rebounding, and then there’s…whatever the fuck this is.
Griffin rests his elbow on his knee and slips a roasted potato into his mouth. “Want me to tell him to fuck off?”
I reach for one of the mini ham-and-cheese sliders. “I’m a big girl. I can handle him.”
“Never doubted that for a second.” He bites into his slider, and I watch the slow bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows.
I really need to stop ogling this man.
We eat in companionable silence with only the distant sounds of the crickets chirping and the wind rustling through the leaves. It’s nice. Peaceful. I’ve never spent much time out here outside of work, but a girl could get used to this.
I shouldn’t get used to this.
He riffles through the basket and pulls out a smaller container. It has two of Olivia’s signature cupcakes inside. “Dessert?”
“The delivery driver was Olivia?”
“Only the best for my wife.”
Ignoring the flirtation, I swipe my finger through the frosting and bring it to my mouth. When the dark chocolate hits my tongue, my eyes roll back, and a low moan slips free.
Griffin’s eyes zero in on my lips, and everything around us stills. After a long silence, he clears his throat and looks away. “I have to ask you something.”
I tilt my head to the side, peeling off the cupcake liner.
“Why did you give me the wrong number five years ago?”
My brow furrows as I consider the question. I must be tired because the words aren’t making any sense. “What?”
He rubs at his jaw. “The night we got together, you put your number in my phone.”
“I remember.” I finish the last of my cupcake as I wait for him to continue.
I won’t be the one to point out how that weekend ended. Lord knows I’ve done everything I can to forget it.
“Except it wasn’t actually your number, was it?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask defensively.
The discomfort I’d learned to live with begins to ache and expand.
His forehead creases. “I texted you that morning after I left. I wanted to solidify our plans for you to visit, but it didn’t go through.”
Those memories loom over me like a ghost from a former life—one I often wished I could forget.
I never understood how he could walk away after what we shared, with our plans for the future all but set.
I chalked it up to foolish hopes and wild imaginings.
Now he’s offering up an explanation that should make sense, but the words ring hollow and lifeless.
I shift positions, dangling my legs over the tailgate. “You texted me?”
“You really thought I ghosted you? After everything we said? I wanted to talk. To see if this could be something in the light of day.”
Anger flares within me. “How was I supposed to know any of that?”
His voice deepens. “I told you I wanted you.”
I hop off the tailgate, a mix of frustration and disbelief taking hold. Pacing back and forth on the ground, I say, “Guys say that shit all the time. That doesn’t make it true.”
Griffin hops down too, faster than I can register the movement.
He palms my hip and tugs me against him so we’re chest to chest. “I promised that wouldn’t be the end of us.
I swore it on my fucking knees right before I devoured that pretty little cunt of yours.
I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep, Angel. ”
Suddenly, the past and present collide, and what happened in Vegas takes on new meaning in my mind, but also, impossibly, in my heart.
“Is that why you married me?” I ask airily. “To keep your promise?”
His eyes darken. “No.”
“Then why?” I ask, too stunned by the revelation to say much more than that.
“You’re not ready for that answer.” His gruff voice goes straight to my needy pussy. He takes a step back, leaving me speechless and aching for his touch.
I let the silence linger for a long while, absorbing the peace and tranquility around me.
“I won’t pretend I feel nothing. This thing between us, it’s…” Words fail me, and I take a deep inhale then blow it out. “Overwhelming. You overwhelm me.”
The quiet admission feels monumental. I’ve spent days replaying five years’ worth of memories, looking for a reason not to let myself get tangled up in this mess, but the truth is, I’m already tied up in knots.
His deep chuckle reverberates through the wide open air. “That’s an understatement.”
He advances on me again, but I hold him off with a hand to his chest. “We can’t go back and change things, and I’m not ready for this to be anything more than what it is.”
His dark eyes narrow on me. “And what is that?”
“Friends… I hope.” I rehearsed this part a million times in my head, but it feels wrong coming out of my mouth.
His nostrils flare as he pulls me against him. “Don’t you ever use that fucking word with me. There’s nothing friendly about this, Angel. Selfish? Yes. Desperate? Without a doubt. Reckless? Abso-fucking-lutely. The way I feel about you—about us is anything but friendly.”
I try to pull away, but he holds me steady. “I don’t kiss my friends. I don’t fuck my friends. And I sure as shit don’t marry my friends.”
The declaration hangs in the air between us, this heady thing I’m not ready to acknowledge. When I don’t say anything else, he lets me go, and I turn my head to the night sky, running my hands up and down my arms as a chill settles in my bones.
Griffin silently cleans up the remains of our picnic as I head back to the stables, my mind whirring like the wings of a hummingbird. I was so convinced he was done with me, I didn’t bother to dig deeper.
When I was offered a job in Oak Ridge to be closer to Jess’s family, I resolved to keep Griffin Hayes at a distance. I failed spectacularly, and now everything I thought I knew has been flipped on its axis.
“What do I do, Sadie girl?” I whisper. “I’ve really stepped in it this time.”