Chapter 23
DAYNA
‘Why are you dressed like that, Rach? I thought you were coming round for a Saturday night in.’
Rachel holds up two bottles of wine, swaying them in front of her tight LBD with a goofy grin on her face. ‘I changed our mind.’
‘I’m sorry, Rach, but I’m just not up for a night out.’
She comes inside, kicking the door closed with one of her favourite Gucci heels that she’s already had re-soled more than once. She heads to the kitchen, dumping one bottle of wine in the fridge and attacking the other with a corkscrew.
I stand across from her, my arms folded over my chest, but she continues going about her business, pretending I’m not here. Once she’s poured two glasses, she slides one across the breakfast bar to me and raises her eyebrows. ‘Well, go get ready.’
‘Ra—’
‘Listen, you’ve been miserable all week. This, all of it, isn’t going away, and you have to do what you’ve done in the past. You’ve got to build a bridge a?—’
‘And walk over it. Using my line on me?’
She winks. ‘Go put on your big girl panties.’
I shower and dress in pretty decent time, even with Rachel sitting on the bed talking to me while I do my make-up and blow-dry my hair. Remarkably, I feel semi-human.
We head out to Kensington just after ten. After the week I’ve had, I’m the drunk side of tipsy already, and I know I shouldn’t have more than one or two while we’re out.
We step out of the cab outside Heist. Rachel struts straight to the front of the queue while I pay the cab driver, and by the time I get there, the doorman, Rachel’s cousin Darrell, is holding open the red rope barrier. We slip inside to the dismay of the waiting crowd.
‘If I wore a dress like that, I’d be in already!’ some guy shouts behind us.
I smile back across my shoulder at Darrell and mouth, ‘Thank you.’
I follow Rachel upstairs, and we head out the rooftop, which is being warmed by patio heaters under the clear, star-studded December sky.
We work our way through the packed bar to the VIP area and perch on two stools at the end of a table of four guys.
I laugh as Rachel pays them close scrutiny and winks when one of the guys clocks her running her eyes over him.
‘Hey, did I just make you laugh?’
‘I’m laughing at you,’ I tell her.
‘I’ll take it.’ She smiles affectionately, and I squeeze her hand as a waitress comes over and takes our order of two Hendrick’s with slimline.
We talk about nonsense: people in the bar, old stories, gossip we’ve heard – well, gossip Rachel has heard – lately. We avoid anything that would shatter my mood, something I’m eternally grateful for.
‘Thank you,’ I talk-shout across the table. ‘Maybe I did need to get out.’
‘You were festering. I thought you were going to start growing a beard and getting fungal infections.’
‘Why would either of those things happen?’
She shrugs and takes a sip of her second Hendrick’s.
A hand touches my shoulder, making me turn my head. A guy is far too close to my face. I pull back to get a look at his stubble-covered jaw.
‘Do you come here often?’
I glance at Rachel, and we both start howling.
‘Ah, I come here sometimes. Listen, you’re a good-looking guy, so I’m going to help you out. Why don’t you try your lines on her?’ I dip my head in Rachel’s direction, who smiles and bats her eyelashes.
‘I would,’ he says to Rachel, leaning between us so we can both hear. ‘You’re beautiful. But my mate has been eyeing you up all night.’
‘Well tell him to come say hi,’ Rachel tells him.
I watch him walk back to his group of friends, but my eyes are torn away by four different men walking out to the terrace. Teddy. Jay Hamilton. Spencer. Clark.
‘We need to leave.’ I climb off my stool and take hold of Rachel’s wrist.
‘What the—? Oh, crap.’
It’s too late. We stand side by side as, one by one, all four men clock us.
I’m sure I’m standing on my legs but I can’t feel them.
Clark is rooted to the spot. He’s wearing jeans, a shirt and a blazer, sporting grey circles under his eyes and a few more character lines than usual but still sexy as hell.
He pulls Teddy’s shoulder and says something to him.
He wants to leave.
I snap out of my trance when Rachel tugs my arm. ‘No point now, he’s seen you.’ She hops back onto the stool she left, and I step backwards onto mine.
‘Please tell me this wasn’t a set-up.’
‘After everything that’s happened, Dayna, you don’t even have to ask me that. Teddy won’t let him come over either, not unless you give him the green light. So let’s just have another, okay? You’re going to bump into him from time to time.’
Teddy must tell Clark something similar because the four men give us a wide berth and find a table at the back of the VIP area.
I glance over my shoulder as they take a seat. Clark isn’t looking at me, and as ridiculous as I know it is, that disappoints me.
‘Hey, look at me. Let’s get another drink,’ Rachel says.
I nod and fake a smile. ‘Yep. Hendrick’s.’ Screw one or two.
I can’t stop my eyes flicking to Clark as Spencer joins Rachel at the bar. He’s talking to Jay, oblivious to me. And it’s for the best but I can’t help the way it feels like a corset is being tightened around my entire torso.
‘Dayna Cross?’ A guy with designer-styled, side-swept dark hair and a square jaw stands in front of me.
‘Ah, yes. And you are?’
‘Tom Cranston. From St Mary’s? We used to play tennis together. Well, in the same group. I was never the best player, always most improved.’
The proverbial penny drops. ‘Right, hi. How are you?’ I fake interest because I don’t have any desire to be in this conversation or this bar, where Clark is so nearby and completely ignoring me.
I don’t catch his response and tell him so. He leans into my ear, ‘I live with my wife in North Finchley. I have two kids now.’
I notice Clark out of his seat, body tense, eyes trained on mine.
Jay puts his hand on Clark’s arm, and I watch him slowly retreat. I’d really like to go home, but I glance over to see Rachel and Spencer in full flirtation mode as they head my way with drinks.
At some point, Tom slopes off. I’ve no idea if I said goodbye, honestly. My head is all over the place because I’m watching Clark make his way towards us. My blood pumps harder. My chest tightens further. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
He moves into me, his hand on the small of my back, his scent filling my nose. ‘Can we talk?’
Rachel steps between us. ‘Clark, leave her alone, all right? We’re having a night out to take her mind off everything. She doesn’t need this.’
He looks from Rachel to me. ‘You don’t have to. I don’t want to upset you.’
That lump I’ve become too familiar with is back in my throat, and I can’t speak past it, so I nod. I see Teddy rise from his seat in the distance, but I hold up a hand to tell him it’s fine. My protectors are out in force. Maybe I’m not as alone as I’ve let myself believe.
We move to a corner of the rooftop where it’s quieter but where the heaters aren’t as effective. I wrap my arms around me, but before I can rub my skin, Clark’s blazer is over my shoulders.
‘Thank you.’
He’s looking down on me, despite my heels. ‘I only want to know how you are.’
‘How do you think I am?’ I snap and instantly regret it. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be. You’ve been through the mill. Thanks to my family.’
I glance away from him because I can’t bring myself to look when I say, ‘My dad hurt your family, too.’
He scoffs. ‘It doesn’t compare, Dayna. So, I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t have to apologise.’
I find myself watching my toes curling in my peep-toes, because I can’t look in his eyes. It’s too painful, too dangerous. ‘I didn’t bid. I guess you know that.’
He lifts my chin. ‘Don’t look down, baby. You’re not that woman.’
My breath catches at his use of the word ‘baby’, or maybe at the force of those silver-blue eyes.
I’ve had a drink. Too much to drink. I have to get out of this situation.
‘I know, and I’m pleased. It must have been hard for you to withdraw. I know how much the well meant to you, but I couldn’t protect you the way I wanted. This is for the best. Kahn got his well, and he paid way over a safe price for it.’
I nod twice. ‘He’ll make a loss.’
‘It’s not enough for you, is it?’
‘I can’t answer that, Clark, not for you.’
‘Because now you want revenge against him and my father.’
I don’t speak.
Clark takes his hand from my chin, and I feel absurdly bereft at the loss of contact.
‘For what it’s worth, I’ve quit the business. I’ve cut every tie that I can with him. If you wanted to try to press charges against him?—’
I pull his jacket off my shoulders and throw it at him.
‘I always fall for it, don’t I? You want to know if I’m going to press charges, Clark?
No. Think about it. If I had evidence against Kahn, I would have used it by now.
Every research study about the explosion says my dad is to blame.
It rubs his name in the dirt, says he was a cost-cutter who killed people.
I’d like to see your father behind bars.
More than that, I’d like to rip his fucking head off.
But I can’t. So there’s the answer to your question, now fuck off back out of my life. ’
I barge past him, only to be pulled back, his grip so tight on my arm it hurts. ‘That’s not what I’m doing, Dayna. Listen to me.’
I glance around, feeling the stares from people around us.
‘I want nothing to do with him. I’ve walked. I’ve left everything I’ve ever known and worked for because I hate who he is and I hate what he’s done. I came to talk to you to see how you are.’
‘Now you know, Clark. I’m better off without you and your baggage. I already knew you left Layton Oil. It’s industry gossip.’
In a flash, Teddy is between us, pushing Clark away from me. Clark does nothing to defend himself; he just looks at me.
I grab Teddy’s wrist. ‘Stop it, Teddy. Enough. I’ve had enough of it all. Everything. I’m done.’
Teddy pulls back but stays in between us as Clark speaks. ‘Dayna, please.’
‘You know what the joke is, Clark? I thought—’ I sigh and shake my head, then turn and leave.
I hear Clark shouting. ‘You thought what, Dayna?’
Rachel makes a beeline for me.
‘Rach, it’s okay. I’m okay. Stay with Spence, please. I really just want to be on my own.’
I make it into a cab before I break down.
Outside my apartment block, I fumble through my purse trying to find money to pay, which is difficult through fogged eyes. The driver huffs and tuts as he waits for the money, huffing and tutting his way out of a tip.
I slam the cab door behind me and try to find my keys, dropping my bag on the floor. I bend to my hunkers, putting everything back inside. At least I found my keys.
When I stand, I’m face to face with the man I love.
‘You thought what?’ His voice is smooth, calm and deep.
‘Go home, Clark.’
He reaches out to my face and rolls his thumb across my wet cheek. ‘I don’t want to see you cry any more, Dayna.’
‘Please, Clark, stop torturing me all the time.’
‘I’m not trying to torture you. I’m sorry.
For everything. I’m sorry I was a dick for four years.
I’m sorry I never stood up to my wanker of a father.
I’m sorry he ruined us. I’m sorry for every time I’ve hurt you and made you cry.
But what your father did, what my father did, they aren’t our demons.
I walked away from Layton Oil because I’m not like him.
I’m not my father, and I don’t want to become him.
You want to know if I did it for you. That’s what you thought. ’
I lean into his palm reflexively.
‘The answer is yes, Dayna. I could have stayed and fought for the company. Eventually, my father’s tribe would have followed me. But I don’t want that any more, because I know it means that I can’t have you.’
‘Clark.’ I whisper his name but no other words materialise.
‘I can’t change who my father is. I can’t change the fact I’m a Layton. But I can make sure it doesn’t have to ruin our future.’
I open my eyes to his. ‘Clark, I’m drunk. I can’t do this.’
‘I know.’ I notice for the first time that his cab didn’t leave.
‘I’m going home because you need time and space.
And I’m going to give it to you, on your terms. I don’t want to have you for one night any more, Dayna.
No more. I can’t do it to either of us. I want you, all of you, for the rest of our lives. ’
He pulls me to him, and I wrap my arms around his back. He holds my nape, keeping my cheek to his chest so I can hear his heart racing. He kisses my brow then lets me go.
‘Go inside,’ he whispers. ‘I’ll wait until you’re in.’
I leave him and head into my block, glancing back to see him still watching me as the door closes behind me.