Chapter 13
Sana
Sitting on my balcony with my knees drawn to my chest, I look up at the dark sky filled with countless little twinkling stars.
But it’s not the stars that capture my attention—it’s the memory of Aditya’s intense gaze.
The way he stood by me at the hospital, the way he took care of Mom, the way he took care of me, bringing me coffee and sandwiches…
those moments keep replaying in my mind.
And while leaving, when he asked for my friendship, I couldn’t say no.
I had to give in. But is this friendship a wise decision?
Am I slowly crumbling under the walls I’ve built around myself?
God, why is this so difficult? Why did you bring Aditya into my life? Why can’t I stop thinking about him? And the way my stomach flutters every time he’s around—it’s making me lose control of my heart. I don’t want this. I can’t want this.
Sana, relax. Why are you stressing? It’s just friendship, I say to myself. But my heart just won’t listen to me? Even my mind is starting to betray me, drawn to him in ways I can’t understand. I squeeze my eyes shut, gripping my arms, trying to make this strange feeling go away.
I don’t even realise I’m trembling until I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. A startled gasp escapes me, and I whip around, only to find Mom standing there, concern etched on her face.
“Mom, what are you doing here at this hour? You should be sleeping. Do you need anything? Are you okay?” The questions spill out in a rush, my concern outweighing everything else.
But she simply smiles… that soft smile that always calms me.
“I’m fine,” she says gently, taking a seat beside me. “All I need is some time with my daughter.”
I rest my head on her lap, feeling my heart swell as she gently runs her fingers through my hair. I know what she wants to ask. I can feel it in the way her hand lingers, in the way she takes a deep breath, as if carefully choosing her words. But am I ready to answer?
“You’re thinking about him,” she finally says, her voice quiet, tentative.
“Mom…” I start, hoping she’ll let it go.
She chuckles softly. “Don’t try to dodge it, my love. I can see it in your eyes. You can fool yourself, but you can’t fool a mother.”
“It’s just friendship,” I whisper, my heart pounding, the words feeling empty even to myself.
Mom sighs, her fingers still threading through my hair. “Maybe. But don’t shut the doors on your feelings before you even know what’s behind them.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and don’t say anything.
She continues, “These old eyes have seen enough to know when a man’s heart is true. And that young man—he has a good heart. I see it in the way he looks at you.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Mom, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
She presses a kiss to my forehead. “Then take all the time you need. But don’t let fear keep you from something that could be really, really beautiful.”
I stay quiet, my heart tangled in emotions I don’t know how to name.
Mom’s fingers continue their soothing rhythm, brushing through my hair, as if debating whether to say more. Then, with quiet insistence, she speaks again.
“Just promise me, whatever it is you’re feeling… don’t run from it,” she says, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. “Not everything has to be decided tonight, but don’t lock your heart away out of fear.”
I swallow hard, my throat tight, but I still manage to slowly lift my head and meet her eyes. They are warm, knowing, filled with a love that sees right through me. But I don’t know what to say to her.
She studies me for a moment, then smiles—a small, understanding smile that tells me she already knows my answer, even in my silence.
“Goodnight, my love,” she whispers, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead before standing up.
I watch as she walks away, and just like that, I’m alone again—with nothing but the storm inside me.
A small part of me wonders if I’m holding myself back from something more—something I’ve wanted for so long but am too afraid to admit.
Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths, trying to steady myself.
When I finally open them, my gaze drifts back to the sky.
The stars blink down at me, indifferent to the turmoil in my heart.
I don’t know how long I sit there, lost in my thoughts, exhaustion settling over me.
My eyes feel heavy, my body drained, but still, I can’t bring myself to go back to my room.
Just then, my phone rings, cutting through the silence. I glance down. Aditya.
My breath catches. My heart betrays me with a wild, unsteady beat.
God, why?
I exhale in a rush, willing my heart to steady, trying to quieten the emotions threatening to take over. My fingers hover over the screen, hesitation tightening around me like a vice.
I could ignore it. Let it ring. Pretend I’m already asleep.
But I know I can’t.
With a sigh, I finally swipe to answer.
“Aditya…”
“Were you sleeping?” His deep voice washes over me, warm and soothing, but that only unsettles me further.
I press my lips together, gripping the phone a little tighter. Lying would be so easy. A simple yes, and this conversation would end before it even begins. But something in his voice tells me to be honest.
“No,” I admit quietly. “I couldn’t sleep.”
There’s a beat of silence, then a soft sigh from his end. “Me neither.”
My heart wants to ask him what’s keeping him awake. It wants to take this conversation somewhere deeper. But my mind refuses, pulling me back and reminding me that he is just a friend, nothing more and that’s how it needs to stay.
So instead, I shift the conversation.
“It’s late, Aditya. You should try to get some rest,” I say, my voice sounding much calmer than I actually feel.
He chuckles softly. “I could say the same to you.”
I bite my lip, staring at the stars again. “Yeah… I guess neither of us is good at listening to our own advice.”
“Maybe we just have too much on our minds.”
I close my eyes. If only he knew.
Unable to control the pull of my heart, the question slips out before I can stop it.
“Why did you propose marriage to me?”
Silence.
My grip on the phone tightens once again as my own words sink in. I wasn’t supposed to ask that. I wasn’t supposed to open that door. But before I can take back my words, he speaks.
“Because I meant it.”
I inhale sharply, but remain silent. He exhales, and then he continues, his voice softer, more vulnerable.
“Because when I look at you, I see something I don’t want to lose.
Because you make me want more… more than just ‘existing.’ Because no matter how much you try to push me away, I find myself wanting you even more.
And deep down, I know you feel the same way. ”
My fingers tremble around the phone. My heart pounds so loudly I wonder if he can hear it.
I want to deny it. I want to tell him he’s wrong. But I can’t.
Because somewhere deep in my heart, I know he’s right. With every passing second, it feels like the line between us is blurring, and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to stop it.
“I need to go…” My heart stutters.
“No, you don’t,” he replies sternly. “Listen, you asked me a question, and I told you the truth. I never meant to make you uncomfortable.” His voice softens, full of sincerity.
“I know you’re not ready to accept my proposal.
But I also know that when you ask me something, I won’t lie or hide my feelings.
” He pauses before adding, “Now, stop torturing yourself over it,” he says gently, as if he’s trying to calm my mind.
“Let’s put it to rest for now. When you’re ready, we’ll talk about it. ”
I swallow hard, nodding even though he can’t see me. “Okay,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
“Now, can we talk?” he asks.
I take a slow breath, unsure of where this conversation is heading. “About what?” I ask, my heart still racing from our earlier exchange.
He chuckles softly. “I want to know things about you—what you like, what makes you laugh, what your favourite foods are. Now that you’ve given me a chance at friendship, I want to learn these things. I really want to get to know you, Sana.”
A small smile tugs at my lips. “What do you want to know?”
“Ahhhh… Let me see… what is your favourite colour?”
“Blue. Yours.”
“Black.”
And just like that, we begin to talk. He asks about everything—my favourite books, my little quirks, what makes me feel alive.
The conversation flows effortlessly, surprisingly so, and with each question, it feel like we’re building something—a connection I hadn’t planned on.
But it feels so good, so natural, that I can’t help but embrace it, even if it’s just as friends.
A yawn escapes my mouth before I can stop it, and I chuckle softly at myself.
“Looks like someone’s ready for bed,” he teases, a smile evident in his voice.
“Yeah, I guess I am,” I reply, stifling another yawn as the fatigue hits me all at once.
“Then we’ll pick this up later,” he says gently.
“Sounds good,” I murmur, my eyes starting to close. “Goodnight, Aditya.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he replies. I can hear the smile in his voice, even through the phone. And just like that, my stomach flutters even more.
I end the call, my fingers lingering on the phone for a moment longer before I head to my room. I place my mobile on the nightstand and make my way to the bathroom, going through my nightly routine, my mind still replaying our conversation.
When I finally crawl under the covers, exhaustion begins to pull at me, slow and heavy.
But no matter how much I try to shut off my brain and drift into sleep, Aditya’s face and his smile keeps pushing its way in.
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, hoping the darkness will take over, but damn, there he is again.
I roll over, pulling the blanket closer, a smile tugging at my lips despite myself. I surely can’t get rid of him. Stubborn man.
And so, with his thoughts on my mind, sleep slowly takes me under.