Reckless

Chapter 26

Over the next four days, it rains. Not just showers, or bursts on and off, it’s a full-on deluge, so loud it’s like Solene is playing the drums on the roof of the RV.

Luther suggests we get a hotel at each of our stops, but Krista looked at him like he’s lost his mind, telling him it’s all part of the adventure.

Coming from anyone else, Luther would have stared at them, letting them know with one look he thinks they’re an idiot, but he’s getting soft on Krista. It’s kind of funny to see.

She is getting a ton of writing done and I’m almost three quarters of the way through her first book. I keep asking her questions, but she won’t tell me what is going to happen. The intricate way she has weaved the plot and the constant guessing who the killer is, is driving me crazy.

A few times I’ve thought about reading the last chapter. But I remember the woman in the bookstore in Minneapolis telling me that not only is it a cardinal sin, it takes away the enjoyment of the rest of the book. So I don't do it.

Often, I’m laying back on the couch watching her write. When she goes into the zone, it's beautiful to watch. Sometimes her lips move, like she’s saying the words as she types, almost like she’s feeling them out to see if they work.

I love being trapped in here with her, even if some places we were supposed to visit are far too washed out. With anyone else, I’d be going stir crazy by now and taking Luther up on the offer to get a hotel.

For someone who is straightforward and knows what she wants out of life, she’s struggling with what is growing between us. I haven’t come out and said it myself, but I thought I made it clear the other night that I care about her, a lot.

She’s holding back, so I’ve held back too. I don’t want to scare her off, but I’m already planning on how we can keep seeing each other once she gets back from the road trip, after her convention in Chicago. I hate the thought of her driving all the way back alone. Maybe I should stay with her.

When there is a lull in the rain, and it’s not hammering down on the roof, I hear Krista’s stomach rumbling. I glance over, but Krista is too deep in her head. I enjoy taking care of her needs, so I get up and move to the kitchen.

I’ve learned how to cook a lot of different foods while I’ve been here with her. This whole thing has been a huge eye opener for me, I want to get back to doing things for myself, and heating healthy food has been an eye opener. I grab everything I need to make a quick chicken noodle stir-fry with mushrooms, red onion and broccoli.

I don’t realize I’m singing till I notice Krista has stopped writing and is smiling at me.

“What?”

“Nothing. Continue,” she goes back to her laptop. “I’m done, so I’ll set the table.”

We work together, then sit down to eat. It makes my heart almost fucking burst when she moans and says it’s so good.

It’s been a few days since I asked her about spending a week with me in Chicago. She still hasn’t answered.

Krista’s had a lot on her mind with a few issues arising with deliveries to the hotel for the convention. And her sister being a raging Reckless Soul fan, having to convince her to keep quiet. Not that she would run to the press, but she has a lot of friends and is in her final year at college. She wants to tell them, but that will snowball, so she's been, reluctantly, sworn to secrecy.

And I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep this woman in my life without scaring her off.

“Are you alright?” She wipes her mouth with a napkin, and picks up the glass of white wine I served with dinner.

“Yeah, just thinking.”

“About?”

“Us. Well, us in Chicago.”

Her hand stilled when I first spoke, but she lowers the glass to the table and swallows the wine she had held in her mouth.

“Right, getting there early. It’s at the end of the week. That’s come round so fast.”

“Yeah.” I lean back and take a swig from my glass.

I will not coerce her. Mostly for my sake. I can't force her into doing something she doesn’t want to. Will I be disappointed if she doesn’t agree, sure, but it doesn’t mean I’m leaving. It just means the plans we would need to change to get off the road, will go ahead.

If it ever stops raining.

“You want to miss going to Six Flags?” she asks.

“Never was a big fan of rollercoasters.” I put one elbow up on the back of the seat and wait for her to go on.

“What about the Blaum Distillery? I thought you would have loved that one, for the bourbon.”

“We can see that next time.”

“Next time?” her brow lifts.

“Yeah,” I say, totally serious. I might let her make her own decision, but talking around it has my nerves shot. I’m getting worried.

Then she smiles. “Will you have a room with a steam shower and a huge tub?”

“If that’s what you want,” I try not to lean forward or look as excited as I currently am on the inside. “I’ll get you anything you want.”

“You don’t have to do that,” her face softens.

“So, it’s a yes?”

Her pause feels like it’s going on for days. “Yeah, go on then.”

“Yeah?” I can’t help but laugh at how breezily she says it, like she doesn’t know I’ve been waiting for this for days. “Great, I’ll find a hotel with the biggest tub and steam shower in Chicago.”

Krista gets up to clear away the dishes while my fingers itch to look for the perfect place to take her, but I don’t want her to think I’m desperate to get this sorted.

“Look, it’s stopped raining,” she draws my attention. She’s standing by the open door, looking out. “Wanna go on the roof and look at the stars?” she asks. When I don’t answer, she turns around to look at me. “What?”

Getting to my feet, I stalk towards her. She turns and leans back, putting her hands on the unit behind her, watching me. I cup the back of her head when I reach her and put my other hand up against the wall beside her face.

“I’d rather make you see stars.”

Her mouth opens and closes. “Really? How?”

Leaning in close to her ear, I whisper. “I’m going to lick your pussy until the universe explodes behind your eyes.”

“Uh… Okay, yeah. Let’s do that.”

She squeals when I bend over and grab her thighs, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder.

A set of headlights flashes through the darkness of the camp and reminds me of where we are. I close the door and make sure it’s locked, planting one hand on Krista’s ass and giving it a squeeze, making her moan.

Last thing I need is anyone walking past and seeing what I’m about to do to her, or where.

When I set her in the driver’s seat and turn the chair around to face me, I drop to my knees and her mouth falls open.

“Here?”

“I’ve fantasized about eating your pussy in this chair since the first time I saw you get behind the wheel.” I push up her skirt and draw her panties down, tossing them over my shoulder. “Now spread your legs wide, like a good girl.”

I tried to get her to help me pick a hotel, but she told me to surprise her. With Solene’s help, I found one of the nicest and most expensive hotel suites in the whole of Chicago. Not only does it have a giant infinity bathtub with views over Chicago, but there is also a rainfall shower which has seats, and the steam function Krista seems to be obsessed with.

The icing on the cake is the grand piano in the suite. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to impress her with my skills, but I kind of like the thought of fucking her on the piano.

Solene is jealous as hell. She’s the only person I’ve told about how seriously I’m taking this.

We’ve talked a few times in the last couple of weeks and she assures me she is good.

Every time we talk, she is a little more excited about the baby, although anxious about Quicksilver finding out. She’s told Ethan, and he said we need a band talk, so Paul is aware. Sol is hesitant to tell him because she’s still nervous he is going to pull away.

We need to know where we stand in terms of her stepping back from the band when she can’t work anymore.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether to find the asshole responsible, because Sol hasn’t explicitly said she doesn’t want to find him. I’m not planning on confronting him or anything. It isn’t up to me to let him know. If I was the guy, I’d want to know.

It feels like I should find him, just to know who he is, where he is, in case she wants to speak to him. Only problem is I have no idea where to start. Riggs seems like the best option. He knows about the pregnancy, and he can find people.

But the way he reacted to hearing the news means it might make him feel shit. And I don’t want to do that.

“Penny for them.”

“Huh?” I raise my head from my phone, which I’ve been toying with.

Krista is driving us towards the Blaum Distillery. When I looked it up, I decided it looked too cool not to go. So, we changed plans, and Krista booked us a tour.

She is more interested in cocktails than whiskey, but I’m excited about it. It’s going to be the last outing while we’re on this adventure. It’s bittersweet, but I’m looking forward to being in a hotel with her. I’ve got all kinds of things planned. Culminating in telling her the truth about how I feel and that I want more.

It’s the easiest decision I’ve come to in years. I can’t imagine not having her in my life, and I’m willing to take a chance and find out if things will work away from the RV.

“You’ve been lost in thought for hours,” she slows down as we hit some traffic heading north into Galena.

“Yeah, sorry. There is just some band stuff we’re going to need to sort out sooner rather than later.”

Krista is quiet for a moment. I wish I could talk to her about this. Having a woman’s perspective might help, but I don’t intend to betray Solene’s confidence like that.

“I should tell you I may know what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean?” I was stupid to have a conversation about the baby with Krista beside me when Sol admitted she is keeping it.

I’d figured she didn’t hear anything because she never brought it up. But now I know it’s because she was just being Krista. She didn’t want to pry.

“I think you know,” she says, focusing back on the road. “I’m sorry I overheard. I’ve tried not to say anything, but it seems like it’s bothering you.”

“It’s… A mess,” I sigh.

“Is it that bad?”

“She doesn’t know how to find the father, what his name is, or how it’s going to affect the band.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, like I said. A mess. Just one more thing to worry about.”

“You’re worried about how this will affect the band getting back together?”

“No, I’m worried about Sol. She’s… sensitive. She puts on this tough girl persona, the only female in a rock band full of men. It’s tough for women in this genre of music. Many people don’t take them seriously. Being pregnant is a problem. But that’s not the problem I care about. All I care about is my best friend.”

“Why aren’t you with her?” she asks after she’s let my speech sink in. “It sounds like she needs you and you want to be there to help her.”

“I thought that was obvious.”

The RV has slowed to a crawl. Enough that she can study me as I stare back. Her cheeks flush a soft pink as she turns back to the road. She hits the brakes a little too hard and my seatbelt snaps, holding me in place. We almost rear-end the car in front that has stopped.

“Shit, sorry,” she squeezes the steering wheel tight between both hands. “Jude, she needs you.”

“Is that you telling me to go?”

“No, I mean… I don’t know.”

“Tell me the truth, Krista.”

She takes a shaky breath before looking at me. “Now?” she indicates the traffic.

“Yeah, now. How do you feel about me? Be honest.”

When she doesn’t answer, the anger rises. Why won’t she just say it? Hypocrite here hasn’t said it either. So maybe now is the time.

“You’ve helped me deal with my shit, Krista. And not because you want anything from me. You did it because it’s who you are. And along the way, something happened. Something I never expected.”

“What?” she breathes out.

“I fell for you. Fucking hard. And I’ve been dying to tell you for what feels like a thousand God damn miles, but I know that there is something holding you back. Something stopping you from admitting you feel it too. Tell me I’m wrong.”

It doesn’t touch the true extent of what I feel, but I can’t lay it all out there, not if she’s going to push me away.

“Pull over.”

“What?” She frowns.

“You heard, pull over. I can’t have this conversation while we’re worrying about traffic.”

“Jude,” she shakes her head.

“Krista, please, pull over.”

There must be something in my tone because when the car in front gives us enough space to move, she puts on the blinker and pulls into the breakdown lane. Fuck knows how long we have before highway patrol comes along, but I need her full attention.

The RV rolls to a stop and I pop my seatbelt and get to my feet. I undo hers and hold out my hand. Krista stares at it, then up at my face before putting her hand in mine. It’s a first step. One I’m going to choose to believe is a good sign.

I pull her up and walk her back to the couch, but I don’t sit down. Stroking a hand down the side of her face, I stare deeply into her eyes.

“I don’t want to walk away knowing I’ll never see you again after we leave Chicago. I can’t stand the thought of not having you in my life. This happened fast, it’s not what most people would consider normal, and everyone will tell me I’m insane but… Fuck Krista. I love you, I do, plain and simple. I’m in love with you.

“You understand me, you see beyond the surface like no one I’ve ever met before. You’re selfless and have a huge heart. You’re beautiful, kind. You opened yourself up to a stranger in need. You don’t see me as Jude Smallwood, the rock star. You see me . And I don’t want to lose you. Part of me dies every time I imagine you leaving. The thought of you with someone else cripples me.”

“Jude,” she whispers.

My heart stutters. I don’t think I can take it if she rejects me now. I’ve opened up a piece of my soul and she holds the power to destroy me in her hands.

She takes a deep breath before speaking. “It is fast, too fast, and it doesn’t make sense but… God, I feel it too. I’ve felt it for weeks. If you think this is fast, how the hell do I explain I felt the pull to you the moment I saw you across that field. Even when I was threatening you with the mace, telling your stupid ex manager that you were shitting in the damn woods.”

I can’t help but laugh. A tear fills the corner of her eye. It clings to her lashes. I hate the thought of her crying. I swipe it away gently with my thumb.

“Honestly, it terrifies me. I’m scared that when we leave the safety of this RV, things will be different.”

“So what if they are?” I ask. “It won’t change how I feel.”

“You’re so sure.”

“You helped me to be that way.”

“No, I didn’t. You always had it in you, you were lost. But you did all the hard work, Jude.”

“I really don’t want to say something cheesy about finding myself in you.” I arch a brow. “But I will if I have to.”

Krista laughs, and it's music to my ears. Then the sound of sirens takes over. We can’t see out of the back of the RV because of the bedroom, but it’s obvious we’ve been spotted sitting in the breakdown lane. It’s highway patrol or someone coming to check we haven’t broken down.

“Shit,” she mumbles. That’s not what I want to hear.

But she goes up on her toes, and she pulls my mouth down to hers. Her tongue strokes against mine and I press her up against me. I try not to let it get in the way of this, but every time she kisses me, my cock swells, wanting every part of her.

When she pulls back, her lips are still pressed to mine, her eyes are closed. “I love you so badly I don’t know how to handle it.”

A grin splits my face. “Let’s handle it together. Annnd, the cops.”

There is one walking past the window. Alongside the RV.

“Oh shit,” Krista leans back. “Well, at least it’ll be an interesting story to tell our friends.”