Reckless

Chapter 28

The sound of the piano playing has lulled my eyes closed. I’ve never been this relaxed in my life. The hot bath, the amazing meal, and being able to watch Jude as he reacquaints himself with the piano. He kept saying he couldn’t remember how to play, until I sat him down and played the opening notes of Chopsticks. About the only thing I will ever be able to play, pecking at the keys with two fingers.

He took over then, and he’s been playing for the last twenty minutes, lost in the music.

The next song he plays has me opening my eyes. I recognize it, especially when he hums, and then quietly sings the lyrics. It’s Muse’s ‘Explorers’ and it’s beautiful. I try to sit up without disturbing him as tears fill my eyes. Jude turns to face me as I blink them away, hoping he didn’t see, but he gives me a smile that says he did.

His fingers tap out a few more notes before he slows them, shifting his upper body sideways on the seat, still pressing one note so it sounds like a heartbeat. He looks mouthwatering in his dark grey plaid pajama pants, his chest bare and the loose curls falling over his forehead.

“I saw this movie once,” he says, still tapping the key. “It involved a piano.”

Not saying anything, I swing my legs off the couch but don’t get up.

“The guy was playing piano, and the girl comes into the room. She walks over and moves between him and the piano.”

Knowing what he wants, I do it. I can guess which movie it is and try not to be offended. I’m not a hooker with a heart of gold, although he is mega rich.

Jude pushes the bench seat back slightly so I can fit. He’s still reaching around me, hitting that note. I’m pretty sure my heart is beating in rhythm with it.

His spare hand slips beneath the hotel robe I’m wearing, and he looks up at me. All I’m wearing beneath it is a pair of panties. He trails his fingertips up from the waistband, ghosting over my ribs before reaching my breast. My eyes close as he teases the nipple, pushing the robe aside so he can see what he is doing.

“Do you want to know what that man did with the girl on the piano?”

He pushes the robe off my shoulders and his eyes greedily take me in. He falters with the heartbeat on the piano keys.

“Yes,” I breathe out and he dips forward, kissing the bottom of my breast, then tonguing up to the nipple and circling it. I’m about to lose my mind when I drop on the keys.

Jude grins. “That is what happened. She ruined the song with her ass.”

I’m way beyond being able to laugh, especially when he stands, towering over me and cups my head, pulling my mouth to his. I barely register him closing the lid over the keys and lifting me. My legs wrap around his waist as he lays me back on the piano.

“The next part faded to black,” he says, toying with the top of my panties.

“I guess we’ll just have to make it up ourselves,” I whisper, my voice broken from the desire and emotion running through me. I’ll never get enough of looking at him, of having his hands on my body.

“Guess so.”

He pulls my underwear off and sets it down on the bench, then bends and runs his lips up my leg. His hand is stroking my hip bone and into my inner thigh, spreading me wider.

It should be embarrassing how he stares between my legs, but I’ve learned to appreciate every look and every touch. It only takes a few gentle twirls of his tongue on my clit, and I go off, my back arching, my head tipping back so far I can see the lights of Chicago behind me through the glass. Or maybe that is just stars behind my eyelids as they close.

I’m lost in a sea of bliss as Jude stands and pulls my hips to him. When he presses inside, I’m done for. He takes me slow, worshiping my body, kissing me as he whispers he loves me into my ear.

Jude Smallwood has taken my heart.

No, I’ve given it freely.

He carries me to bed after a quick shower, where he does nothing but wash me and my hair. His fascination with my hair means I will never cut it. Not that I plan to, but it relaxes me when he runs his hands through it.

Lying next to me on his side, he takes my hand and I roll towards him.

“Tomorrow,” he says. “I can’t believe we’ve gotten to this place. And I don’t just mean me leaving.”

“I know,” I answer softly.

“Did you think about what I asked?”

He means about flying home after the convention so we’re not apart longer. “What about the RV?”

“I told you I’ll make sure it gets home safe.”

“It will be weird knowing it’s on the road without me.”

“Won’t it be weirder without me in it with you?” he smirks.

“How about I tell you after the convention?”

He groans and rolls onto his back, but he has a small smile on his lips. It’s good to keep them guessing. Truth is, I’m still not sure.

As much as I’ve fallen for Jude Smallwood and can’t imagine him not being part of my life, I’m still cautious. I don’t want to be apart, but if this is going to work, I need to be used to the idea he will be gone for long periods of time.

I have never and will never rely on anyone to create my happiness. That is down to me and my choices. Having someone you care about deeply along for the ride is an added benefit, and one I would never take for granted. I have to protect myself. He’ll be hurt if he knows what I’m thinking, so I won’t tell him.

I’ll know after these three days apart.

The following morning when Luther knocks to say he’s brought the RV around, my stomach bottoms out. Jude looks devastatingly handsome, his jaw tense, gripping my hand in his as he walks me down. He’s refused to wait in the room, coming downstairs with me.

Luther follows close by, but he’s trying to keep a respectable distance.

The RV is sparkling, and the inside is cleaner than I’ve ever seen it, even brand new. A part of me is sad because the scent of us is gone.

Jude takes out his phone and mine beeps a moment later.

“A playlist I made for you. Whatever you decide, at least you’ll have some good music to listen to.”

“Hey, I listen to good music.”

“Maybe there will be some familiar tunes in there.” He pulls me into him.

“No one ever made a playlist for me before.”

“Good,” he growls possessively.

The door is open, but I can no longer see Luther. Jude pushes me back against the wall and kisses me. It isn’t tinged with desperation, just the knowledge that no matter what, we will be coming back together. This isn’t over.

I keep glancing at him in the side mirrors as I pull away from the hotel. Standing with his hands in his pockets, watching me leave. It reminds me of when he was standing on the side of the road watching me drive past him at the rest stop. Luther is close behind him now. I’m glad he has someone with him. Even if the stoic bodyguard isn’t much of a conversationalist, Jude isn’t alone.

Three days. Or maybe longer. But my heart is pulling me more towards the idea of flying to LA.

It’s odd, being back in the RV, knowing Jude won’t be walking through the door. I’m still gobsmacked at what he did to the place while it was parked up for the week.

When I find the picture of him on the bedside table, I can’t help but laugh. He signed it. It’s disappointing he has pants on, but the cowboy hat is a nice touch.

The last week has been an experience. Jude isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met, and that makes me love him more. So many people have expectations of him and who he is, but I doubt they would ever believe the person he is behind the rock sex symbol persona.

I gather up everything I’m going to need to take into the hotel, then stand in the bedroom, looking at the picture of Jude. The irony of him leaving me a signed picture of himself, I bet he thought he was being so clever.

A sound at the front of the RV has my head snapping to the door. Shit, did I leave the main door open? My heart thumps as I tiptoe to the bedroom doorway. Who the hell is walking in here? I open a drawer and grab my mace.

“Knock, knock!”

“Shit,” I blow out a relieved breath and step out of the bedroom.

The short, pink-haired woman holding a purse, laptop bag and a purple notepad with a matching pen, stares at me, wide-eyed.

“Why do you have mace?”

“Emily… You scared the crap out of me.”

“Sorry,” my assistant cringes as she steps inside. “I saw the RV and knew it was you. Why did you leave the door open? Did you think someone was going to get on and hurt you?” She indicates the mace again.

“I don’t remember opening it. It’s nothing. I must have left the latch off and the wind blew it open.”

“Okay.” She frowns.

Emily glances behind her. We’re in a parking garage under the hotel, but it is open at the front, so it’s feasible the wind blew in. I shake it off and put the mace away.

“Did you get here okay?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Yep, checked in yesterday. I've been so manic, but I’ve got a handle on it.”

“I’d be lost without you. Let’s get in there. I’m exhausted.”

She looks at me funny. How am I going to tell her I barely got any sleep last night? I lay awake for ages, watching Jude sleep. It’s going to be hard keeping this from Emily now that I’m with her in person.

“I have a lot to tell you.” I push the photograph of Jude into my purse. “Let's go get a cup of coffee.”

“I’m intrigued,” she clutches her notepad. “But be warned, there is still a lot to do.”

“Don’t remind me.”

We head inside the hotel and find a seat in the dining area, where I fill her in on everything I’ve gone through over the last four and a half weeks.

“You know, I always tell everyone how amazing you are and how I look up to you, and now I just want to be you.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious. Jude Smallwood? I mean… Part of me doesn’t know whether to believe you.”

She picks up her mug and goes to take a drink, but it’s empty. She frowns at it. This girl is addicted to coffee.

“But… Shit. It’s serious, like you’re dating?”

It seems weird to say it that way, but yeah, I guess we are. He tried again this morning to convince me to fly home after the convention. I still didn’t say yes, but the look I gave him was definitely not a no.

“Oh my god, you look smitten.”

“How does smitten look?” I laugh.

“Like this,” she points her finger towards me and waves it around at my face. “Usually, you’re stressed at things like this. You hate pre-signing books, even though you love seeing the look on your fans' faces when they get them. And you’ve been traveling for over two months in a van, but you look like you just got off a Caribbean cruise. You’re happy. You go all dreamy eyed when you say his name.”

“I do not. Stop it,” I laugh. “Anyway, we’re keeping it quiet for now.”

Emily makes a key locking gesture over her lips. “Can I get his autograph?” She leans in and whispers.

I think of the picture in my bag, but I'm not giving her that. He’s wearing the cowboy hat and is shirtless in that picture. That is mine. No one else can see it. Especially since the note with his signature is semi-pornographic.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I grin instead.

“Let’s go get you checked in. I have a ton of stuff to do while you’re locked away with all those books!”

“Great, yeah. Lead the way.”

We get up and head out to the main lobby of the hotel. It’s nothing like the one I spent a week in with Jude, but I told myself I wouldn’t compare anything to last week. Nothing can compare to it. He had me on practically every surface in that suite. We may have had a lot of sex, but we had a lot of laughs too and we talked so much about anything and everything. There was never a moment when I didn’t feel content in his presence.

Who knew Jude Smallwood, rock legend and sex symbol, could be as sweet as he is? Taking care of me and expressing his feelings at every given opportunity.

No matter what happens from here on out, I’ll never forget this trip.

The hotel lobby is busy. There are a lot of people checking in for the convention, including a lot of authors I’ve been excited to catch up with. It doesn’t start until tomorrow, but the most organized of attending authors always arrive the night before.

“Hey, is that Brianna?” Emily says from beside me.

She is already checked in and was busy on her phone while I signed the paperwork and handed over my credit card.

I turn to where she is pointing and spot my friend. She’s chatting and smiling with a woman. Brianna spots us and waves.

“Oh, hey before I forget,” Emily draws my attention back to her. “They’ve changed the time of your panel from three to one tomorrow. Something to do with one of the other panelists needing to leave early.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Thanks.”

When I turn back, Brianna is making her way over. She throws her arms up and wraps both me and Emily in a hug at the same time.

“Oh my God, am I glad to see you two. Are you all checked in? Can we go get a drink please? I’m still hyperventilating from that flight.”

“Did the bands work?” I ask. Bri is terrified of flying and has tried every trick known to man to help her get through it.

“No. But the copious amounts of alcohol did the trick.”

Emily wrinkles her nose, but Bri doesn’t appear drunk, just as high on life as ever.

“We have work to do, Bri,” Emily tells her.

Brianna blows a raspberry and rolls her eyes hard when Emily tells her what I’m doing this evening.

“Oh hell no. You can’t spend your night doing that. Well, at least not without good company and good wine. Party in your room it is.”

“Fine by me,” I agree.

“Oh God.” Emily turns away and heads for the elevator. “Just don’t come crying to me when you have to sign books hungover to hell.”

“Why Emily, you make me sound like a terribly bad influence,” Bri laughs.

I hook my arm through Bri’s, laughing with her as we head to the elevators behind Emily. I’ve missed being around these ladies. This weekend is going to be a lot of fun.

It’s weird sleeping alone for the first time in weeks, which is odd because I’ve spent more time sleeping alone than I have alongside Jude. Not having him here is hard. I’ve got things to do. I’ll be busy for the next three days and then I’ll see him.

The thought of being alone on the road getting back home to California is losing its appeal. Not without him there.

When I get to the great hall where my table has been allocated, I can’t help but smile at the organized chaos going on as everyone gets their stalls set up. We have a couple of hours before the ticket holders arrive. Some people came down last night, but we chose to relax and enjoy some time before the event.

Emily text me to say she had things under control, knowing Brianna kept me up way too late last night after she went back to her room. I hadn’t gone into too much detail about Jude with Emily there, but given Bri knows almost everything about him, it was nice to have someone to talk to.

She is happy for me and told me to make the most of it. Rolling her eyes as she said, "You only live once. Damn, I hate that saying."

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” I ask Emily as I arrive at my stand.

“My bank balance says it for you.”

“That’s never enough. You’ve got a fat bonus coming your way, babe.” I walk over, and one arm hug her. “Thank you. It looks amazing.”

Emily has set up three large black bookcases. The left and right ones are larger than the center one and angled inwards, so it looks like an open book. They’re all stocked with my books, and little ornaments and props scattered through the display, items that have a meaning or link to the books and characters. Including a sinister pair of blood splattered ballerina slippers with pride of place on the center shelf.

The stacks of special edition signed books people pre-ordered are all lined up ready for collection and the table is laid out with pen and pads, and bottles of water. There are boxes and boxes of goody bags behind the table too. I grin at the tiny ballerina slipper keyrings. It was a huge outlay having them made, but it’s going to be so worth it seeing the look on people’s faces.

Never mind a bonus, Emily needs a raise.

I set my purse under the table and get to work finishing things off, pulling up my banners and chatting with authors on the tables nearby.

I love getting away in the RV and having that space and time to myself, but I thrive here. These are my people.

What would it have been like if Jude showed up here? Jesus, mobbed by fans, he wouldn’t know what hit him if the book community swarmed him. Luckily, this is more of a suspense orientated author space. Although I see a few romantic suspense authors here this time.

They wouldn’t need to be avid book readers to find Jude attractive.

My music tastes bleed into my writing a lot and I’ve used a Reckless Soul song or two in my books. Jude hasn’t got to those books yet, thank God. I still can’t believe he’s reading them. I can already picture his smug face when he gets to the part where my main female lead is dancing to one of his songs in her living room. I may or may not have drawn from real life for that scene.

I head over to where Emily is holding my phone with a knowing smile on her face as she holds it up so I can see the screen. ‘Jude’ is flashing on the display. I mouth ‘thank you’ at her.

“Hey you,” I answer.

“Hey yourself. How is it going? You all set up?”

“You wouldn’t believe how amazing it looks. I'll send you some pictures later. I’m excited, catching up with everyone. I can’t wait to meet the fans.”

“Sounds like fun. Did you miss me last night?”

“Bri and Emily were with me most of the night, so…”

“You break my heart, Krista.”

“It’s been one night.”

I lean back against the bookcase and survey the room, but I’m not really seeing anything. I’m too busy focusing on the sound of his voice. Truth is, I do miss him, but I will never admit it. I will not be one of those women who becomes so obsessed with a guy they can’t separate themselves. I don’t think Jude would ever let me be like that.

“Thank you for my picture.”

“Ah yeah, you got that.”

“I fell asleep cuddling with it.”

He laughs. “You liar.”

“Yeah, but I thought it might make you feel better.”

“Only you next to me will make me feel better, preferably on my dick.”

“You’re such a romantic.”

“Tell me you’re not thinking the same.”

“I wasn’t. Quit it. Is everything okay back in LA? What time is the meeting?”

“Not till this afternoon. I’m having lunch with Sol. I want to know how she is planning on handling the baby situation. Paul is the only one who doesn’t know yet. We need to talk to him beforehand. The label might control us, but we have some say in what happens. We need a plan.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” I wave and shout "Hi," at an author I met at a convention a few months ago in Denver.

“You’re busy. I should let you go. I just wanted to say good morning and hope it goes well today.”

“Thanks. These things are always a lot of fun. I know I don’t know her, but I hope Solene is okay. Go easy on her.”

“I will,” he confirms. “Call later?”

“I’ll let you know when I’m back in my room.”

Emily is staring at me when I hang up with a dreamy smile. I flip her off, then go back to adding the final touches to the table.