Chapter 6 #2
She pushes me up, and I allow her to, as long as I can keep kissing her.
Sitting back, I briefly break away to rid myself of my boxers and come back between her legs.
She flings her hair over her shoulder, and I brush my hands down her nipples, then further south until the heat of her tight pussy is all I feel.
Her head falls back, a moan escapes her lips.
“God, Rex, I’ve never wanted anything so badly.”
I never take my eyes off her as I watch her pleasure increase with each deliberate stroke of my fingers.
“Neither have I,” I whisper.
She greedily starts to grind against my hand. I stick another finger inside her. She bites her lip, her tightness stretches as I slowly curl my fingers and run them in and out of her wet center.
Her hand reaches forward, and she strokes my length.
I growl in approval as my fingers slip out of her core and find her clit.
Rubbing circles against her swollen flesh, her delirious eyes flash open and meet mine.
She holds my stare for a moment before leaning back on the bed and letting me continue to pleasure her.
“Rex, if you keep touching me like that, it will all be over too soon.”
Her hips lift with need as I roll my fingers back inside her.
“Do you think you are wet enough for me, Gwen?” I ask.
Spread out against the sheets, her back arches off the mattress and she moans, “Yes.”
With shaky hands, I pull away and rip open the condom. Rolling it over my hard length, I position myself between her thighs. I take a moment before entering her. Staring down at her, at the gift she’s giving me, it hits me that I’m the luckiest bastard to ever walk the face of the earth.
Our eyes meet, and neither of us looks away. This moment changes everything.
I start to push inside her and see her face instantly tighten.
“Am I hurting you?” I ask as I stall with just the tip inside her center.
“No,” she swallows hard. “Keep going.”
I do as she says but can’t help but see how much pain I’m causing her written all across her face.
She starts to cry. Her legs shake. She sucks in a sharp breath and whispers a pained, “Oh, God.”
It’s not pleasure I’m bringing her. Not yet.
“If I’m hurting you Gwen,” I plead.
“No,” she pants, hurt and agony fill her eyes just before she closes them. “Keep going, don’t stop.”
So I do. Like a greedy bastard, I thrust quickly inside her.
She screams out as I take her, claim her, make this moment forever ours.
She may be losing herself to me, but hell if I’m not finding myself in her.
After a minute or two, her face softens.
Her eyes open, and she bites her bottom lip as she stares at me through hooded lashes.
I’ve never seen anything more breathtaking in my entire life.
“God, Gwen, you feel so good. I don’t think I can last.” I know I can’t. Not if she keeps staring into my eyes the way she is right now. “Is this okay?” I ask as I grip her hips and savagely thrust deeper inside her. “Am I hurting you?”
She shakes her head, no. But then, tears fill her eyes, she bites her bottom lip, then timidly shakes her head yes.
I slow my movements, rocking more gently in and out of her tight virgin pussy, that’s now forever ruined by me.
I hold her stare as I lean back, and circle her clit with my fingertips.
A few moments later, tension leaves her eyes, her body relaxes, her center grows wetter, and she screams when her orgasm hits.
It throws me over the edge, too. I gather her quickly into my arms as we both crash over the edge and into each other.
Into a future I never thought I’d so willingly accept.
I groan as I pump into her a few final times, and her moans soften in the space around us.
Slowing my movements, I notice she’s still coming, and so I grind against her clit harder, watching her face as she rides out her ecstasy.
When she’s done, and we’re both panting, I kiss the top of her head, knowing no one will ever be able to complete me the way she does.
And fuck if the thought doesn’t scare the shit out of me.
I want to tell her. She deserves to hear it. But I don’t. Fear of her not loving me back gets the better of me, and I let the moment pass. Fear of turning out like my old man, fear of being rejected by the person I love most consumes me. All I can manage is to hold her tight against me.
I try to focus on something else besides the panic rising inside. I might never get the nerve to admit how I feel about her.
She deserves better than that.
Quietly, my heart breaks as she says the three little words I wish I could tell her first.
“I love you, Rex. I’ll always love you…”
* * *
The phone on my nightstand rings pulling me out of my dream.
It’s the same dream I have had for the last two weeks since the night in the bar in downtown NOLA.
The night I made Gwen promise to stop her running and bet her I could make her believe we were not a mistake.
It’s a dream that has repeated constantly over the years since we’ve been apart, as vivid and real as the night it happened.
Sitting up and looking at the clock, I notice it’s 1 a.m. and wonder who could be calling me at this hour.
Clicking on the bedside lamp, I reach for my phone and see it’s a damn good friend I haven’t talked to in way too long.
“Hey man,” my groggy voice fills the line as I attempt to wipe the sleep from my eyes. “When did you get back? And why aren’t you wrapped around that beautiful wife of yours instead of calling me at 1 a.m.?”
“Ha Ha,” Noah mocks. “I’m at the station. We just got back from a call, and I needed to clear my head after what we just had to walk through. I figured your ass would be up. You were up, weren’t you? Because hell must have frozen over if Rex Roberts is in bed sleeping at 1 a.m.”
“Very funny,” I laugh. “I’m on a new assignment in New Orleans. How was Italy?”
“Best time of my life with my new bride,” Noah admits without hesitation. “New assignment, huh? Another Southern franchise? Pretty soon, you’ll just have to admit we know how to do it better down here and move permanently.”
I laugh and think of Gwen and I making a home together somewhere in the South.
I haven’t found a place that feels like home yet, but I’m sure we could find one together.
The truth is, she’s the only thing that’s ever felt like home to me.
The thought of a future that includes us living together makes hope bubble up inside my chest. I release a heavy sigh, knowing I still have a lot of work ahead of me if we are ever going to get anywhere close to that kind of happily ever after.
“Oh no, not that again,” Noah chuckles. “Care to tell me what you are really working on in New Orleans?”
I think of the best way to stall, not wanting to go into it, especially not at this hour. “Forget about me. Didn’t you say you just came back from a bad call? Let’s talk about that. You okay?”
“No chance in you dodging the bullet this time, Rex. The call was nothing some mindless chitchat can’t handle. Are you going to tell me what’s so heavy, or not?”
I’d prefer the “or not,” but I find myself subconsciously caving and hoping it isn’t the wrong choice, knowing that Noah just did marry Gwen’s best friend.
“It just so happens Gwen is the head of the marketing firm Michael hired,” I confess. “We are working side by side on this one, and she’s a royal pain in the ass, like always.”
I try to throw him off my scent. No luck, though. He isn’t buying.
“You mean royal pain in your blue balls,” Noah laughs. “Man, everyone knows you two are hung up on each other. Are you ever going to tell me what you keep hidden in your past? Shit, you know all about the skeletons in my closet.”
That I do, but I figure it’s best to keep at least some shit hidden. Especially the nightmare that has haunted me for over ten years that Gwen knows nothing about. The one thing I will have to confess at some point if I’m ever going to have any chance of keeping her by my side.
“Maybe one day,” I admit fearfully. “Right now, I’m just trying to work through it myself so I don’t make the same mistake twice.”