Chapter 15
AJ
Iwoke up this morning feeling uncertain. In a bit of a limbo.
Yesterday had technically been a success in that Adam and I had finally started talking again. It was clear we’d restored the back-and-forth bickering aspect of our relationship, but it was also clear we had yet to reach normal, since we were bickering about the most sexual topics possible.
But I told myself that was natural.
Because the other night had been crazy. Absolutely wild and insane, and understandably, we needed time to react. Acting like it never happened would be like keeping that wall of miscommunication up between us, so in order to truly move on, we had to acknowledge the fact that we’d had sex.
Hence yesterday’s dirty talk warfare in Adam’s office.
Slash the reason that I may or may not have brought an extra pair of panties in my purse today.
I was convinced that didn’t mean anything though. Had that conversation turned me on? Yes. Did I still find Adam deathly attractive? Yes. But were we far enough past the hump of awkwardness for me to be myself again at the office?
Totally.
In fact, I had high hopes for today to be our first official day back to normal, and I was only further encouraged when I got out of the shower to find the usual text Adam sent on the Saturdays that he made me come into the office.
ADAM: Put your order in now or you’re getting French toast
I snorted.
The Saturday routine was that Adam played a game of basketball before heading into the office.
I usually worked remote for limited hours on these days, but in the event that he needed me in person, the agreement was that he had to buy me baked French toast or some other delicious meal from his secret breakfast spot that literally everyone at the office had tried for years to get him to divulge.
But because Adam liked having a place to sit before work where he ran into absolutely no one from Engelman, he never told and had sworn me to secrecy as well.
Hilariously enough, the place was no hotspot.
It was just Gizzy’s Kitchen in Santa Monica, a small, super casual cafe that looked like a little beach shack.
It was definitely worlds different than Adam’s usual kind of restaurant and I knew he was treated like a king there, because whenever I was tasked to pick up our food because he was busy, the waitresses all asked me about him, and the owner was so eternally wrapped around Adam’s pinky that she was willing to cook pretty much whatever he wanted.
It was one of the rare times Adam’s killer smile benefited me as well. I could request literally anything right now and the last Saturday I worked, I’d done exactly that, having been in a weirdly sudden and aggressive mac and cheese mood.
But today, I went with the usual.
ME: It’s a French toast kind of morning
ME: Should I remind you how I take mine?
ADAM: No need to insult my intelligence.
ME: Sorry it’s just last time you forgot the whipped cream
ADAM: That wasn’t me that was the kitchen and they were slammed
I laughed as I dried my hair, because I found it funny and weirdly charming that when it came to Gizzy’s, Adam was a forgiving man.
Anyone at the office would get barked at if they forgot anything he asked for.
“I don’t care about excuses, just do it” would be the line he hit them with.
But Adam was a different person at Gizzy’s, and I always thanked God for that place’s existence, because I was pretty sure it was the only thing that made him tolerable by the time he came into the office in the morning.
“Hey, you. Cute dress,” Liza remarked when I got into work.
I smiled, giving a “thank you” as I passed The Pit to get to my desk.
The office was a third full on a Saturday with everyone in more casual attire, including me.
I had on a light grey, almost white tie-waist dress—another piece from Georgia’s closet that I was borrowing till I could get my real wardrobe back tonight.
After a full week of living off borrowed clothing, I was finally going to get my things from my old house today after work, having confirmed with a mutual friend, Seth, that Caspar would be out.
I was in the middle of confirming the whole thing with Seth when I heard Liza’s chipper voice down the hall.
“Good morning, Adam!” she said brightly.
It served as a good warning for me, giving me ample time to steel myself before looking up and laying eyes on Adam.
Dammit, I cursed to myself wryly, because I’d half-hoped to find my level of attraction at least somewhat lowered, but nope.
Not when his tan looked especially good today against that crisp white shirt that he wore with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up. Oof. One-two punch, but it’s okay. You got this, I thought, giving myself a little pep talk as my eyes raked through his hair.
It was still a little wet from the shower at the gym and I could literally tell how good he smelled right now just from looking at him.
But you may not take a whiff of your boss today, I told myself firmly.
Or ever, I added as I watched him nod hello to the handful of others who were in today before looking up and locking those blue eyes on me.
He didn’t smile with his lips, but I could see one twinkling in his eyes as he held up the take-out bag and nodded into his office—my sign to follow him in and chow down. So popping up from my chair, I did exactly that.
Fake it till you make it, baby, I reminded myself as I got in, acknowledging Adam’s little once-over of my dress with only a smirk before I kicked us off with a typical Saturday question.
“So. How was your game?” I asked, happy to have something to do as I approached his desk and unpacked the food as usual.
“Pretty damned good.”
“That extra sparkle in your eye tells me you embarrassed Josh MacMillan more than usual today.”
Adam gave a short laugh as he hit the space bar on his keyboard. “You know me well,” he said, a crooked smile touching the corner of his mouth.
It was a small smile. Not his usual grin from ear to ear. He was already looking at his computer too, which led me to conclude that he was a bit subdued today. More serious.
I knew this mood.
I’d seen it a good handful times in the past five years, and it usually meant something in his personal life was weighing on him.
Most likely something to do with his family, since his mother provided no shortage of drama.
But since “what Jeannie did this time” was a topic that was strictly dungeoned, I never asked about it.
I generally just talked about whatever else there was to talk about until Adam cracked a real smile.
And thankfully, I was pretty good at that. All it took today was running through what few messages there were before asking Adam if Josh wore his personalized J-Mac jersey this morning with the matching and completely unnecessary arm sleeve.
There we go, I suppressed a triumphant grin when Adam answered with a yes and a laugh, and though he didn’t take his eyes off his screen, we talked for a few minutes, our usual chit-chat about nothing in particular.
At least until I made the critical mistake of licking whipped cream off my finger.
Mid-click, Adam cut his gaze to me—and with such laser swiftness I actually froze mid-lick, eyes wide and suppressing laughter till he shook his head, averting his eyes back to his screen.
He gave another few clicks of his trackpad before he said, “If you’re going to eat in here, I’m going to need you to do it less attractively. ”
His sternness made my eyebrows lift with both surprise and amusement. “Okay, let me just chew with my mouth wide open then.”
“That, I’d fire you for.”
I smirked. “Someone’s cranky today. It’s not my fault you don’t eat your French toast with strawberries and whipped cream the way you’re supposed to.”
“Fuck that. Blueberries was the tradition growing up.”
“Yeah, but you’ve always lived to rebel against your family’s traditions,” I snorted. “I mean isn’t that the reason you cheered for all LA teams growing up? And fled New Jersey the second you turned eighteen? Figured you would’ve been Team Strawberries just to piss everyone off.”
Adam laughed. “Nah. Team Blueberries forever,” he said, sounding mostly thawed from whatever mood he’d been in. Mission accomplished, I smiled to myself as I took a bite of my food. “So what did you call Holland for this morning?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing.”
He gave me a look. “Your voice just went up two octaves,” he said dryly. Read: I know what you sound like when you’re lying. I narrowed my eyes
“Fine, I was thanking her for the use of her employee discount, which is what I used to buy my copious amounts of lingerie for Caspar last week,” I said with a breeziness that I was using specifically to hide the tension I now had as I waited for Adam to make me sweat by saying something dirty.
But to my surprise and relief, he didn’t.
I did notice the single tic of his jaw at the mention of lingerie, but rather than saying something sexual, he opted to give me his usual shit.
“You still managed to drop three hundred dollars while using her discount?” he asked, clicking away at his screen.
“Trust me, it’s not that hard.”
“It’s a fifty percent discount.”
“Well, I bought the really good stuff,” I said, my words coming off sultrier than I meant because they prompted Adam to hit me with a look just as I was licking the whipped cream off the tip of a berry.
His stare moved to my tongue then to me. “You’re kidding, right?” he said.
“I didn’t know you were going to look up right then!”
“New rule, you can’t eat in my office anymore.”
“But everyone asks where my food is from when I eat outside!”
“It’s not that hard to lie, AJ, now get out,” Adam said, and though he was laughing, I knew he was serious, so I held my hands up and said “alright, alright,” grabbing my food and leaving.
I was still grinning by the time I got to my desk, but my smile faltered as soon as my eyes landed on the notifications glowing on my phone screen.
Texts.
From Caspar.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath, already sensing the trouble as I grabbed my phone off my desk.
CASPAR: Seth told me you’re coming to get your things tonight and I just want to let you know that I plan to be home.
CASPAR: You’re welcome to come back but I’m not going to let you pack your bags until we talk.
It’s been over a week AJ. We clearly have things we need to discuss like two adults.
You’re my fiancee for Christ’s sake and I’m not going to give up on our union just because you’re not thinking straight.
Our “union”? What a douche.
CASPAR: I don’t want to do this but if you force me to I will tell everyone why this actually ended and I’m pretty sure the absolute last thing you want is for everyone, least of all your friends from college, knowing that you’re fucking your boss.
Unreal.
In a flash, I was seething. I seethed for literally every second of the next several hours of work, and though I hid it fairly well from Adam, I knew he’d detected the shift in my mood by our next conversation.
And though I gave a pretty convincing “I’m fine” when he asked what was wrong, it stopped working by the end of the day, and I should’ve known.
Because in the way I could suss out his moods, he could suss out mine.
So the last time he told me to spit it out, I went ahead and showed him Caspar’s texts, which he took five seconds flat to read before handing my phone back, his jaw tight and his voice steely as he said, “I’ll go with you.”
I instinctively shook my head. “It’s fine, Adam. I’m just going to call Emily and—”
“Emily lives in Venice and it’s almost rush hour,” Adam said. “Let’s just do this so you can get rid of this jackass once and for all. I’ll just be there as back-up.”
I chewed my lip, considering the fact that Adam was five times Emily’s size and probably a better choice for this kind of mission. Plus, the whole point was to convince Caspar that I had moved on, and what better way to do that than show up with Adam?
“Is that a yes?” Adam asked, no doubt reading the glimmer of change in my face. I looked up at him.
“I want him to think we’re together,” I said, staring up at Adam as I watched the serious look in his eyes flicker with a hint of mischief.
“I got you covered,” he said, our eyes staying locked on each other for another few seconds. But then at the same time, a smirk touched our lips and Adam nodded toward the elevators. “Ready then?” he asked.
I grabbed my purse. “Let’s do it.”