Chapter 28 #2
My head spun as I tried to wrap my mind around the rush of shock and excitement and completely paralyzing fear. I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth when I gathered myself.
But when I finally did, the answer apparently was laughter.
The happy kind.
“You’re crazy,” I said, to which he laughed too.
“Maybe. But if I am, it’s your fault.”
“Adam, I…” I trailed off, a million questions zipping through my brain.
Were we together? Was I his girlfriend? How were we going to navigate things at work?
Were we going to have secret dates at Gizzy’s till one of us left Engelman for another agency?
But neither of us were going to do that.
We loved it here. “I don’t know yet, Adam,” I breathed out, overwhelmed.
“I know it would make her so happy and I know it would make her feel like we’re this family, but I’m scared too. ”
“It’s okay, I understand,” Adam said assuringly, his voice a murmur as he brushed a lock of hair from my face. “You have time to think about it.”
“We only have five hours before dinner,” I laughed.
“Well then you have five hours to think about it,” he smirked. “And you can always say no,” he added. “It wouldn’t change anything.”
“It wouldn’t change the way you feel?” I questioned. His eyebrows furrowed genuinely.
“Why would it?”
My heart quietly soared as I gave a little shrug.
Those fucking dimples. One look at them and my brain short-circuited, telling me to just zip it with the questions and tell him yes.
But I made sure to take the next few hours to think. To weigh my options. To try and come down from my heights and reason with myself, pointing out to myself that we’d just skipped a million steps here.
We hadn’t been on a real date. We hadn’t said those three words. We’d always had a different, complicated, rule-bending relationship, but I wasn’t sure that meant we could just fast-track ourselves to being together. Forever.
I’m never going to want to be with anyone else.
I only want to be with you.
Another few hours later, and I hadn’t fully processed that he’d really said these words.
So I did what I always did when I needed help wrapping my mind around something.
“He really said that?” Georgia squealed when I finally found a free minute to run off to the bathroom and get her on the phone.
I did my best not to full-on freak out with Georgia as I confirmed that yes, Adam really did say that.
“AJ, you know it’s not even about telling Holland, right?” Georgia said excitedly. “I mean it is, but it isn’t, because the reason he even asked you that today was because he realized you’re his endgame. He’s a man who knows what he wants, and he wants you. And only you.”
“Georgia… I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the way that sounds, but this all happened so fast,” I pointed, closing my eyes and feeling my eyebrows pinch together as I said it.
“It hasn’t been a month since that weekend in Palm Beach.
How the hell would he really know that he wants to be with me forever? ”
“AJ, come on. He’s lived the last five years of his life with you by his side.
Every step of the way. And the same goes for you,” she said in an uncharacteristically know-it-all voice that both amused me and made me break into a giddy smile.
“Besides, don’t you remember what I told you that weekend in Palm Beach? ”
I paused to think about it. “Honestly, no. All I remember is your whole ‘distance makes the orgasm stronger’ thing.”
Georgia giggled. “Okay, fine. Well, what I told you at the time was for Caspar. But turns out it should’ve been for Adam the whole time.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. That all that attraction, all those feelings are there. They’ve always been there.
They’ve just been buried under a million layers of life and stress and all the complexities of your relationship, but it only ever takes one night to wake it all up,” she said, making my floating stare glaze over as she stunned me with not only the memory of her words that night but how right she was.
How they applied perfectly to Adam.
“I can tell from your silence that you know I’m absolutely right,” Georgia said smugly. I snorted.
“Perhaps,” I said before just staring in space for five seconds. “So now what?” I finally asked.
“Well, if you’re asking for my opinion, you know me. I’ve been quietly Team Adam this whole time, so I say tell Holland tonight,” Georgia said. “You might not be able to act like a couple for awhile, but at least let yourself have it tonight.”
It was 7PM. Dinner was at 8PM, but Adam and I had planned to get drinks before meeting up with Holland and Iain.
Of course, that plan was derailed when Knox called at 6PM, inviting Adam to grab drinks with him and his girlfriend before his flight back to West Palm Beach.
“Please just come with me,” Adam said, appearing at my desk before he headed out. “We both know you’re the reason he signed today.”