Chapter Chapter Seven #3
I smiled as I gathered my things. This was going to be a slam dunk. I loved my job so much.
I drove straight home from school but didn’t call Knox. I didn’t even text him. I wanted to get home first, take a shower. I wouldn’t call my job physical, but I was slightly stinky and needed to wash.
Once inside, I went straight to my fridge, pouring some iced tea in a huge glass and downing it.
Nothing better than sweet tea waiting for me after a long day.
It was almost as if I had my grandma here with me every day, giving me a hug when I came home from school, the way she’d actually done all of my school years.
Mom, like Lisa’s parents, had been working two jobs, sometimes even three.
My dad had sent very little money in the first two years after they divorced.
After he remarried, he never sent anything.
I once overheard Mom tell her best friend that she simply didn’t have the money nor energy to go after him in court.
I hadn’t seen my dad in years. I knew he lived in Minnesota, but that was it. As a kid, I’d sent him Christmas cards, and they all went unanswered. I stopped sending them at fourteen.
I took a shower, washing my hair as well.
Then I slid on a robe and sat down on my couch, putting my feet up on the ottoman.
This was perfection. I didn’t have any food for tonight, so I was going to order in.
I had to get better at organizing my dinners.
Ordering in was taking up a good chunk of my paycheck that could otherwise go to my savings.
But while I loved baking, I wasn’t a great cook.
I bit the inside of my cheek and decided to finally call Knox. He’s your best friend, Amy, I reminded myself, although I wasn’t sure he still qualified as that. He was definitely my best friend in college, but over the years, things had cooled off a bit.
He answered after a few rings. “Hey.”
“Hi, Knox.”
“I take it you have a date in mind?”
“Yes. Do you prefer Tuesday or Thursday?”
“Let’s make it next Thursday.”
“Perfect. By the way, I did tell the kids at school today, and what do you know? They actually knew the Sterling name.”
He chuckled. “Of course they did. It’d be hard to find anyone in San Diego, and probably the whole of California, who doesn’t. Although I wouldn’t want to go as far as to say the entire country.” But his tone implied that he was sure of that too.
“Oh, very humble.”
“Me?” He scoffed. “Never. That’s almost an insult for me. I’ve never been humble. Remember college?”
“Vividly. You were very full of yourself.”
“And I wasn’t even as successful as I am today.”
I laughed. “Make sure to give this sort of confidence to my students. Confidence, Knox, not cockiness.”
“They go hand in hand, Amy.”
“They probably do. And all things equal, I’d rather they have too much self-confidence than too little.”
“What are you doing right now?” he asked.
A current of awareness ran through me.
“I’m going to order in and probably read something light.”
“Want to meet and discuss the details about my visit to the school? I’ve got a bit of time before I need to meet my brothers.”
I swallowed hard. “Is that necessary?”
“You can just say no, Amy.” His tone was teasing.
“I just... I don’t want to make things awkward between us.”
“I figured that a visit in person might solve that.”
Somehow, I didn’t think he was right. My intuition told me that if he showed up at my doorstep, he might kiss me again.
When I didn’t say anything, he asked, “Amy, what’s going through your mind? I need to know.”
“Why?”
“Because we’ve been friends for a long time, and I don’t want to fuck it up.”
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. His honesty was so real.
“There is zero chance of us fucking up our friendship, Knox. It would take way more than a kiss. I’m not even sure how it happened. It’s like...”
Right, cue the awkwardness again. Why had I even brought this up? It didn’t matter why it happened. And it absolutely shouldn’t happen again.
“I’ve got a million reasons and explanations, but I’ll just let it go,” Knox said.
“You can’t say that. I want to know everything, Knox.”
“No, you fucking don’t, Amy. Believe me.”
And I did. In fact, I didn’t want to tease or prod him anymore.
I had this strange feeling that we were toeing a thin line.
And if we crossed it, there truly wouldn’t be any comeback.
You’d think that him groping my ass while kissing me senseless would have done it, but it didn’t.
But this—being on the edge of a dirty confession—was the true hard line.
“Then I guess there’s nothing more to talk about. We can definitely chat before you come to the school. It doesn’t need to be in person.”
“Afraid of that, huh?”
I swallowed hard, deciding to ignore the question. “I can’t think about it right now. I have no neurons left to talk about anything.”
“Then I wish you a very relaxing afternoon, Amy.”
“Same to you.”
After we hung up, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Oh, I needed to get that kiss out of my system.
I just wasn’t sure how.