Chapter 2 Hestia
HESTIA
‘So . . . when are you going to tell me what happened with you and Jesse last weekend?’ Lottie’s lips twitched as she came out onto the wraparound deck at the back of the ranch house, handing me a steaming coffee.
She curled herself into the wide rocking chair opposite mine.
‘And don’t you dare bullshit me. Jesse’s been as smug as fuck but suspiciously quiet ever since, so I know for a fact you were making way more than snacks in there.
And frankly, it’s even weirder that you won’t tell me all about it. ’
I hid behind my Ray-Bans, taking a sip to hide the expression that agreed with her. So instead, I took the tried and tested route – and deflected.
‘It was just a quick fumble,’ I replied, shaking my head as her mouth popped open. ‘Seriously, chill. Not everyone comes on holiday to Wyoming and meets the love of their life, okay? He’s hot, we were both horny, so we just . . . hooked up. That’s it. No drama. End of.’
I knew I sounded defensive, and I kicked myself internally as Lottie let her mass of curls fall forward to cover her deepening smile. It was impossible not to soften at that, at knowing how well this woman knew me, unlike anyone else.
‘That sounds . . . great,’ she said, clearing her throat, clearly trying not to laugh. ‘Just what you needed, then.’
‘Exactly.’ I stared out across the incredible view, the soaring mountains ahead casting a long shadow over the green valley floor.
This place was crushingly beautiful, and about as far from East London as I could’ve got.
‘I’m here for a break from the hellscape of home, from all of the bullshit with Cal.
Any other activity, including screwing cowboys, is entirely recreational.
Fuck yoga – getting hammered up against a wall is my kind of stress relief. ’
Lottie choked on her coffee, eventually recovering enough to laugh. I loved the sound of it, the way her whole face came to life.
‘I’ve missed you,’ she gasped, holding out her free hand to me.
I took it, my inked skin and dark nails against the natural, unmarked beauty of hers.
She smiled, likely noting the same thing.
‘You know it’s okay to like someone, though, right?
I know it’s been a shitshow with Cal, but Jesse isn’t him. ’
I shrugged, hating just how aware I was of that, how the last moments of our kitchen encounter had replayed over and over in my mind.
‘Right. I just want to do my own thing right now, though, you know? Just me. Although I’ll always want you around.’ I winked at her, watching as her perceptive, all-too-wise gaze read my real thoughts, just as she always had.
‘Just as long as you know you don’t have to do it alone,’ she said, stroking a finger over the sharp tips of my nails.
‘I know that big old wall of yours has been up for a long fucking time, but you can share yourself with someone and still be independent. I swear it. Wouldn’t have believed it myself before coming here. ’
‘You’re a walking Hallmark movie, Lottie Wright,’ I replied, lowering my glasses and smiling at her now sheepish expression. ‘And I am so fucking happy for you. That man is a sweetheart and almost as hot as you.’
She raised her eyebrow, still smiling, knowing exactly what I was doing in ignoring the truth in her words. I knew they were true, but about as unreachable as me becoming a cowgirl and learning how to line dance. I groaned, remembering the event was tonight.
‘What?’ she said, letting me go in order to reach for her coffee again.
‘The line dance; I just remembered. I really can’t go in my normal clothes, can I?’ I glanced down at my black jeans and T-shirt, the fierce, masked face of the lead singer of my favourite metal band at odds with the sunny, raw wilderness spread out before us.
Lottie considered it, then shook her head.
‘I’d lend you some of my stuff, but . . .’ She gestured to my ample chest. ‘Pretty sure it’d give a very different look.’ I groaned, now contemplating the idea of clothes shopping, not something I was into or good at. ‘Ask Bailey,’ Lottie suggested. ‘She might have something?’
I thought of the perky, no-bull natural redhead.
In the few conversations we’d had she’d projected an air of quiet confidence, someone driven in their ambition and not afraid to work for it.
But there’d also been a tiny hint of something else.
I smiled. Two birds with one stone – something to wear tonight and a new distraction, maybe even some . . . recreation.
It was mid-afternoon before I got my shit together enough to wander down to the barn.
What felt like a lifetime of working into the evenings at the studio and getting up late was deeply ingrained, and anything before 11 a.m. felt like a punch in the mouth.
In reality it was only three years since Cal and I had quit uni a year early, both bored to hell with degrees we’d realized would never pay us back.
I was still grateful to him, despite the dumpster fire our relationship had become, for believing in our ability to become the artists we’d slowly turned into, growing our client list into a waiting list. The money he’d inherited from his grandad had allowed us to rent the studio space and kick it all off, and somehow, three years had gone by in a fucking blur.
And for what?
The nasty, critical voice in my head that sounded a hell of a lot like my stepdad – the one I drank a little bit harder than I should’ve to blank out – was always there for moments like these.
As I approached the vast, rust-red barn, watching dust flying from the corral opposite, I shoved it down and flicked my hair over one shoulder.
The studio was doing fine without me for now; Cal and another talented artist we knew, Blake, were holding it down. No need to worry.
Reaching the fence, I resisted leaning against it, knowing everything out here was covered in a fine film of dirt.
It’d been an eye-opener to see Lottie in her element, totally unbothered by smudges on her cheeks, shovelling up horse shit and getting stuck into every aspect of ranch life.
I couldn’t imagine how constricted and fake she must have felt back home, having to become someone so entirely different to her real self.
Kyle may have been an utter bellend, but at least the situation had forced a change for her.
‘Oh hey, cowpoke!’
Bailey’s voice rang out across the corral as she urged her horse, Dunkin, into a gallop right towards the fence, pulling up at the very last moment and sending a small shower of dirt towards me.
‘Jesus wept,’ I yelled, jumping back, not able to prevent my boots from being covered in it. ‘You pull that kind of shit with all your visitors?’
Bailey cackled, looking back at the other woman in the ring on her horse, still practising turning around big, rusting barrels placed at intervals. She was clearly learning, taking wider loops than I’d seen Bailey do.
‘Only the ones I really like,’ she said, winking. ‘You want to try, honey? I reckon you’d be quite something on a horse.’
I eyed her, speculating.
‘Fuck no, you’ve got the wrong Brit. Never ridden a horse in my life, genuine city girl and very happy to stay that way.’
She tilted her head, eyes narrowed under the brim of her hat.
‘I call bullshit,’ she replied. ‘We’ll have you in the saddle before you leave, I know it.’
‘I’m gonna need an incentive,’ I added, giving her a sly smile, imitating her own accent, watching as she tried to hide a grin.
‘Hot damn, girl,’ she shook her head. ‘Lottie was right about you. Pure firecracker.’
I knew it. There was a flicker of interest, just as I’d felt in her truck when she’d picked me up at the airport.
‘Well, this firecracker needs an outfit for the line dance this evening. Apparently “goth Barbie”, as Lottie loves to call me, isn’t going to cut it. Have you got anything that might work?’
She considered me for a moment.
‘Maybe. I mean, you’re welcome to have a look in my closet, but honestly, I think we’re a different shape, honey.
You’re all tits and hips, in the best way.
If you want to get into town, I think Cole’s around somewhere, or Jesse?
They’re both working on the cabin right now, but they’ll spare an hour or so, I’m sure.
Pretty sure Lottie’s tied up with the guests today.
’ She paused, seemingly weighing something up.
‘I’d give you a ride myself, but I need the rest of the afternoon with Darcy. The rodeo’s only another week away.’
I nodded, conflicted about seeing Jesse again at close quarters, having only seen him at a distance since . . . the kitchen.
‘Maybe a ride another time?’ I said, hoping the suggestive undertone translated.
Bailey smiled again.
‘Sure thing, cowpoke. Just so long as you know I’m focused on competing and all this.’ She gestured behind her to the corral, where Darcy was slowing, leaning down to pat her horse on the neck. ‘I’m not in the right place for anyone . . . no matter how tempted I am.’
‘Oh, I get it . . . more than you know,’ I added after a pause, not missing the flash of concern in her eyes as I took my sunglasses off my head and put them on, the bright sunlight threatening to give me a headache. ‘Okay – I’ll go find Cole. Does he know which shops to try?’
Bailey just laughed, manoeuvring Dunkin backwards before turning towards Darcy, reeling off the names of a few shops to try in Jackson. I waved, steeling myself as I began the walk towards the cabin.
‘I hope Bailey warned you that all I’m good for is holding bags and driving?
’ Cole offered as we arrived in Jackson, a half-smile on his lips.
I totally saw it, why Lottie had fallen so hard; hard enough that it had scared her at first, something a long conversation one night after I arrived had revealed.