Chapter 11 Hestia
HESTIA
The rest of the week had passed in a blur of prep for the cookout, taking over on managing the catering set-up for Lottie, who’d moved over to general logistics.
She’d hired a traditional covered wagon for us to take the food and supplies on, opting to sit up with Cole as he drove the two horses on the front.
That left Bailey and a couple of the casual ranch hands leading the ten guests, and at the back, Jesse, in charge of escorting me. Penny had been nothing short of an angel, patiently allowing me to go along for the ride and barely needing any direction.
Chastened at the thought that Jesse and I had been so close to behaving like animals in the corral, I was determined to keep this evening chill.
To have fun as friends first, despite the pressure we could both feel below the surface.
It completely baffled me that despite years of fuck buddies and dysfunctional relationships, keeping a simple, emotionless friends-with-benefits situation with him seemed . . . difficult.
Emotionally distant? You’re the fucking OG Ice Queen, Cal had accused me once; an off-the-cuff comment in a moment of banter, but one that’d nagged at me for years. I’d cut him down in response, saying it took one to know one – something both of us knew to be absolutely true.
Sex, the physicality of feeling, in one cage of my mind. Emotion, the real deep and dark stuff – that was buried deep. Hidden. Open only to a tiny handful of people.
‘You gonna come along to the rodeo next week?’ Jesse asked, bringing Jasper closer. ‘Think Bailey’s kinda nervous, being without Dunkin and all.’
‘Yeah, for sure.’ I nodded fervently. ‘I was wondering if I could stay backstage maybe? Help out a little?’ He gave me a questioning glance.
‘. . . I’m not saying anything bad’s going to happen this time, but it was fucking horrible watching from the stands last time, not being able to do anything. ’
He nodded, then looked ahead to the guests for a moment.
‘You might need to dress down a touch compared to last time, though, sugar,’ he smiled. ‘Distracting every last bull and bronc rider in there is the quickest way to fill up the local hospital.’
I side-eyed him with my sweetest, most innocent smile.
‘I’d say that’s a them problem,’ I countered. ‘Not my fault if they can’t keep their eyes on the prize.’
Smiling back at me, seemingly fighting a laugh, he shook his head.
‘For me, then, if no one else. May as well wave a red flag and lie down in the dirt if you’re gonna come along looking like you did last time.’
I frowned, not computing.
‘But you . . . Do you rope bulls?’ I asked, suddenly confused. I was wondering if I’d missed something from the first rodeo, but I knew I’d only seen calves being roped.
He shook his head, a sheepish smile spreading.
‘I’m gonna get back on a bull,’ he said, searching out my reaction. ‘It’s been a year or so, but . . . I don’t know. Been thinking about it for a little while and kinda confirmed it when we saw my mom last weekend. I miss it. Not sure I’m ready for it to be nothing but a memory just yet.’
As though from nowhere, horror engulfed me, shock and fear morphing into anger before I could stop it.
‘Because you don’t want the story of your first rodeo to be the one they tell? You want the story of how you were fucking trampled to death after you finally snapped your neck for good?’
His mouth opened in surprise, and he leant back slightly to assess my expression.
‘Hestia, it’s not—’
‘Don’t fucking patronize me,’ I snapped. I knew I was straying into overreaction territory, but the fear . . . the image of him lying in the dirt . . . ‘I’m no expert, but I know that shit is dangerous. Beyond dangerous. Fucking suicidal.’
My hands closed into fists on the reins, Penny reading it as a signal to slow down. Realizing, I released them, gently nudging her with my heels as Jesse had shown me earlier. She obliged without complaint.
‘Shit, I didn’t realize . . .’ he began, seemingly baffled by my anger. ‘Honestly – and hear me out, okay? I know it’s risky, I do. But I’ve learnt a lot since my last season. I know what mistakes I made and how I’d do it different now.’
I gritted my teeth, trying to listen to him but also rationalizing why I felt the way I did.
‘Why?’ I asked, still struggling to get a grip on the part of me that wanted to fucking slap him, force him to see sense. ‘Are you bored at the ranch? Not enough life-threatening action going on?’
He raised his eyebrows.
‘Other than missing the circuit, the people and some of my friends still in it . . .’ he began – and for one awful moment the thought of all the women, the buckle bunnies, entered my mind.
‘The money can be really good. I don’t want to get rich; I just want to be able to buy my own place, help my mom pay for her medication.
The stuff she’s taking is really helping, her doctor says it buys her another couple years maybe, but it’s hundreds of dollars a month.
She can’t really afford it, and me and my sisters help .
. . but it’d let me sleep easier at night if I knew I could pay for it for as long as she needed. ’
His words doused my flames.
‘Oh . . . right,’ I replied, closing my eyes for a moment and shaking my head.
Frowning, he pulled Jasper closer still, our legs almost touching.
‘Why does it bother you so much?’ he murmured, trying to search my face, hidden below the brim of my hat.
I swallowed hard, knowing I owed him an explanation but needing to hold back from the raw truth.
‘Because I care,’ I said, fixing him with a direct look that I knew would be hard to hold. ‘Because the thought of your head smashed open . . . having to tell your mum . . .’
‘Hey, hey,’ he said, reaching out and taking my hand in his. ‘Plenty of riders get injured, but that’s why there are wranglers in there. It’s rare to get more than a broken bone, okay? And it sucks, but they mend.’
I took a deep breath.
‘Can’t I just bribe Lottie to give you a pay rise?’ I offered, the pressure in my head easing as he gave a soft laugh. He gave my hand a last squeeze before centring himself in his saddle again.
‘Bribe her with what?’ he asked, rewarding my sideways glance with a mischievous half-smile.
‘I don’t know . . . releasing sex tapes, something on those lines,’ I replied, matching his chuckle with a shaky laugh as the anger gently ebbed away.
‘You’re pure fire, aren’t you, honey?’ he said, his look so familiar, so affectionate, that I turned away.
‘The eternal fucking flame,’ I said wryly. Then, pointing to the flames on my neck, ‘You were warned.’
We wound on and up through the pastures, Jesse expertly steering our conversation to safer ground. Voluminous clouds drifted across the sun from time to time, giving temporary shade, but despite the ever-fresh mountain air, it was relentlessly hot.
By the time we reached the cookout spot a half hour later, everyone except Lottie and Cole – shaded and effort-free on the wagon – was melting.
There was a stone-built firepit area surrounded by log benches, several long, rustic wooden tables fixed down into the earth, and a small wooden hut – a very rustic bathroom – near the treeline.
The creek wound behind that, glinting like molten glass when the sun re-emerged, its slow flow creating a stress-melting rush of white noise.
As Bailey led some of the guests over to the creek, offering up a swim, I helped Lottie offload the supplies from the wagon, including the food prep tables.
I looked up as Cole approached, a primal expression on his face. Jesse was smiling in the background, clearly in on something.
‘One thing we need to do before all that,’ Cole growled to Lottie as he approached. ‘This is one part of the creek we haven’t tried.’
She held her hands up to him, squealing as he scooped her up.
‘Cole! Fuck – no, I’ve got to prep dinner . . . I can’t—’
He stopped her mid-sentence, gently placing his lips over hers, waiting until she all but melted into him. As he turned, pressing her lithe body into his, the sound of her laughter echoed all the way down to the water.
I smiled, my heart aching with happiness for her – for them.
‘Want a dip before dinner?’ Jesse offered, sauntering over, removing his sunglasses as he approached and hooking them into his shirt pocket. ‘It’s kinda tradition here. The creek’s too shallow for swimming, but it’s good to dip into when it’s hot.’
I brushed aside the warnings in my head, knowing we were surrounded by chaperones.
‘It’s gonna be fucking Baltic, isn’t it?’ I said, setting down the utensils I was holding and falling into step beside him.
‘Baltic?’ he asked, confused.
‘Freezing,’ I clarified. Then, smiling as we approached the water, watching as Bailey even led Buckeye in, ‘It’s all very well you teaching me rodeo shit, but you clearly need some help with proper English.’
‘Yeah?’ he challenged as we both chucked off our boots and rolled up our jeans. The bootcut style allowed for a full roll-up to the knees. Grinning, he jumped in from the bank, sending a small cascade of water over me.
‘Bastard,’ I giggled, doing the same right back.
The water was definitely cold, but it felt amazing after our long, sticky ride.
Jesse turned; the guests were descending into shrieks and hysterical laughter as a water fight broke out.
Struck by a sudden idea, I moved into the centre of the creek, just out of sight of everyone but him, and took off my tank top.
‘Fucking carnage,’ he laughed, glancing back to me for a moment, doing a full double take as I leant forward. My red lace bra was valiantly working overtime to keep everything inside as I dipped my tank top into the water, lifting it up before twisting the water out.
I returned his stare as it unashamedly rested on my breasts before lifting back up to my face.