Chapter 25 Jesse
JESSE
I had to admit it: despite the surgery and the shitshow that was my shoulder and arm, the rest of me felt .
. . good. Out of hospital and staying in a hotel nearby, I could finally get some sleep away from the constant noise of machines and other people.
I still had to go back in for a few hours a day for check-ups and physio, but I would be ready to go home in a couple more days.
It was one of the few downsides of living somewhere remote like Jackson – the hospital facilities just weren’t set up for major trauma.
It was late, but I hovered over the last messages from Hestia earlier today, rereading and smiling, hearing her voice through the fragments of our written conversation. The sheer fucking relief of being on the other side of losing her, of knowing she was waiting for me, right now, back in Jackson.
Goddamn, I wanted to call her, talk to her, touch her . . .
But she’d be tired. Lottie had hinted before they left that she’d be busy filling in at the ranch, and that I needed to focus on getting better – and back to the Diamond Back as soon as possible.
Desperate for a distraction, I opened my phone up to voicemail, still fascinated by the message from her ex, Cal.
I’d listened to it a couple of times, the first with wary disbelief, the second with a sense of hope and relief so great that I’d hardly taken it in.
A third time – for, what, confirmation maybe? – I tapped the play button.
‘Hey . . . uh, so Jesse, right?’ His voice was deep, a different accent entirely to Lottie’s or Hestia’s.
Possibly London, but undeniably British.
‘It’s Cal. Hestia’s . . . ex. Look, man, I know I don’t know you and there’s no reason why you’d believe me, but .
. .’ He stopped, sighing, cursing under his breath.
‘Me and Hestia . . . we’re not a thing, not together.
The whole situation on your call with her the other day was all me, okay?
We’re not fucking, I swear it – I mean, we’re not even speaking, for fuck’s sake. Especially not after that.’
He paused again, taking a breath to steady himself.
‘But . . . I do love her though, you know? I know we’re over and just not right for each other – I mean, she seems to know that on a way deeper level than me now, and I guess that’s because of you.
And look, I don’t blame you if you think this is all bullshit, but I just wanted you to know, for what it’s worth, that I just want her to be happy.
Like, really happy, with someone that can help her get through all the shit she’s been through.
She’s . . . well, I’m sure you’ve seen the fire under the surface and fuck me, she’s got a bastard of a right hook .
. . but the way we are together brings it out – and not in a good way.
And that’s what we’ve done to each other, for years.
Under all that, she’s one of the best people I’ve ever known. ’
I swallowed a surge of emotion as his voice caught: a recognition that he was on the other side of what I’d felt, knowing she was gone.
‘Don’t judge her on what I’ve done, okay? She deserves better than that. Way more than that.’
The message ended, the voicemail cutting him off.
I almost felt sorry for the guy, despite what he’d done since Hestia had been away – all the shit since she’d returned to London, all explained in a long call a few nights ago.
It was easy to take the wrong path, for shit to get messed up.
I’d always known that, but seeing it first hand, living it through someone I loved . . . it hit different.
Shifting on the bed, I felt the familiar ache in my shoulder restart as I moved, cutting through the painkillers.
Clenching my teeth to it, I started unbuttoning my shirt, frustratingly slow with just one hand.
But given I couldn’t do T-shirts yet with the sling, I would just have to get really good at it.
My phone rang, startling in the silence as I finished the last button. My heart leapt at the screen, a wave of feeling crashing into me.
‘Jessica,’ I said, opening FaceTime and catching the way her lips curved in response.
‘Hey, you,’ she breathed, her face unbearably beautiful in my palm.
She’d taken off any trace of make-up, had her hair up in a high ponytail, just her tats and a small smile.
My heart squeezed at her willingness to do this now – to be entirely herself with me.
I felt so fucking honoured that she trusted me in that way.
‘I miss you,’ I murmured, lost somewhere between those incredible ocean eyes, down to the definition of her delicate collarbones, where the flames sprang from the forest canopy of the Sleepy Hollow scene. ‘Fuck, I want to touch you.’
Her smile broadened for a moment as she glanced down, then back up, a mischievous thread winding through her expression.
‘Where?’ she asked, biting her lip as I groaned, feeling the inevitable sensation of my dick responding to her voice.
‘I’d take a fucking handshake right now,’ I admitted, setting the phone on the nightstand while I finished shrugging off the shirt.
‘Oh . . . are you . . .? Okaaay,’ she said, putting a hand to her neck as I sat back down, her eyes tracing my abs.
‘You all right there, honey?’ I chuckled, secretly pleased that my lack of shirt had an effect on her. Somehow it evened up the balance between us, of the constant undercurrent of attraction charging my body day and night.
‘Fuck, yeah,’ she sighed, leaning on her side, hand propping up her head. ‘I want you too. There’s only so much I can do by myself.’
We stared at each other through the screen, knowing exactly where this would be going if we were together. The thought of it, the memories of all the times before, the last time, over a month ago . . .
‘Will you show me?’ I asked before I could stop myself – but instantly regretted it, knowing how tired she likely was, how hard she was working. I didn’t want to take more than she had to give.
But . . . this was Hestia.
‘Depends,’ she replied, her eyebrow raising as her smile deepened with mine. ‘You going to give me some inspiration to get going?’
‘Holy fucking hell,’ I hissed, my dick now so hard it almost hurt.
Godfuckingdamn, I loved this woman.
She just laughed, propping her phone up against the footboard of her bed, crossing her arms in front of herself and peeling off her T-shirt in one smooth motion.
There was nothing underneath, just her bare breasts, nipples hardening even as I stared.
She was going to be the end of me, the absolute fucking undoing – and I wanted it, wanted her, more than I wanted anything else this world had to offer.
‘So why were you taking your shirt off before?’ she breathed, fingers inching into the top of her pyjama shorts.
‘I was gonna take a shower,’ I admitted, my words stilted as my focus faltered, unable to process anything other than her breasts, the slow descent of her hand inside the waistband.
‘Well . . .’ she began, breath hitching a little as her hand sank low enough, clearly touching herself, her mouth parting slightly as she let out a breath. ‘Why don’t we combine the two? You take your phone into the bathroom and . . . I’ll watch you if you watch me.’
‘Jessica,’ I groaned, picking up the phone and moving to the bathroom, shrugging off my shorts and underwear in seconds, thanking the fucking hotel design gods that they’d thought to include a built-in alcove in the shower wall.
‘Don’t get the phone wet,’ she purred, eyes all over me, hand beginning to move again as I propped the phone up against my shampoo bottle.
I turned on the shower and aimed it down, away from my arm.
‘Doesn’t look like the bull fucked up any .
. . more important parts of you,’ she added, her voice strained.
I stood in the water for a moment, letting it run down the length of my body, fisting my cock in my left hand.
‘He had the good manners to fuck up the hand I don’t need anyway,’ I replied, watching as she closed her eyes for a moment, her head tilted back and throat exposed.
‘Fuck, Jesse,’ she breathed, so reminiscent of our moment outside the line dance that suddenly I was back there, right on the edge of coming inside her, gripping her beautiful, full ass in both hands.
I moaned with her as I rested my forehead against the tiles, the warm water cascading over my shoulder and down my back.
‘Take off the shorts – I want to see exactly what I’m missing,’ I said, my voice rough now, knowing I’d have to take it easy or –
She pulled them down without question, eyes holding mine, only dipping briefly to watch how I moved my cock.
I only just held it together. Weeks apart, the past week or so with nothing to take the edge off in hospital, and now .
. . Hestia laid bare right in front of me, her legs apart, fingers drifting in lazy circles.
I stopped for a moment, transfixed as slowly, without breaking our stare, she pushed her fingers into herself, moaning as she did so and finally closing her eyes.
Jaw clenched hard enough to crack teeth, I just about held on long enough to see the image in front of me for what it was.
A woman more beautiful, more incredible than I ever knew existed, who I loved with my whole fucking heart.
Somehow, I’d been lucky enough to meet her and, even more incredibly, she loved me back, trusted me enough to be vulnerable and her whole self, from crying and shaking through an anxiety attack to this.
She really was every single fucking inch a goddess, just like her name.
‘I miss you,’ she whispered, and I shuddered as I resumed the movement, sliding my cock gently, then with harder, rougher movements as she withdrew her fingers, then pushed them back in again.
‘I want you in me. I want you to fuck me so hard and so deep that we don’t know where you end and I begin. ’
I groaned, knowing it had been too long, my stamina reduced to dust as I imagined it, knowing exactly how good she felt around me.
‘I swear to you, Jessica,’ I murmured, only just able to form the words, knowing I was so close. ‘As soon as I see you again, I will be fucking you wherever you want me to within the goddamn hour . . . and I won’t stop. I want to be inside you for days.’
She gasped, letting out a long, low moan, just as the familiar tingling sensation began as I started to come.
‘Jesse,’ she called, her voice raspy and desperate, the sound of my name on her tongue more than I could process as I moaned with her, the orgasm taking over. ‘I love you . . . I need you.’
I couldn’t reply. My breathing stalled as I gripped my cock and held my gaze between her legs, up to her breasts, her face as she came too. Her look of pained pleasure, the sounds coming from her parted lips . . .
‘Oh, honey, you have no idea how much I need you,’ I panted, leaning my head back against the wall for support, trying to plant my legs down to keep myself steady as the orgasm faded.
I felt a physical ache, right next to the one in my injured shoulder, at not being able to be with her.
‘I’ve never missed anyone like this. It fucking hurts not to be with you. ’
It took her a few moments to find me again. Her eyes were glazed and a dusky glow was forming across her cheekbones.
‘Then let’s agree,’ she murmured between breaths. ‘We’ll never do this long apart ever again. Two days, max. Or maybe one. Just one, absolute max.’
I smiled, imagining how it would feel to brush the hair from her face right now, to kiss her forehead gently and tuck her in against my body.
‘Deal. I’ll be wherever you are, Jessica.’