Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JOANIE
As Mia and I get ready to head to the town square for the St. Patrick’s Day event, she’s practically vibrating with excitement. At first, I assume it’s just because of the event, but then she turns to me with a huge grin.
“Nate and I finally set a date for the wedding,” she announces. “We’re getting married on September twenty-third!”
I squeal and pull her into a tight hug. “Oh my God, Mia, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you both.”
And I am. Truly. But as we pull apart and I see the pure joy on her face, I can’t help the pang in my chest. It makes me miss Greg even more, seeing Mia and Nate blissfully in love and planning their future.
I push down the feeling and focus on the day ahead. We’ve got a lot to do, and I need to be on my A-game.
When we arrive at the town square, there is a flurry of activity. Mia heads to the pastry booth, where she sets out a mouth-watering array of shamrock cookies, Irish apple cakes, and soda bread. I’m running the costume contest with a gift basket for the best-dressed leprechaun. It’s silly, but people seem to be getting into the spirit of things.
Ever the peacemaker, Nate has convinced Jerry to set up a booth serving green beer and limeade. I’m not sure how he managed that feat, but I’m impressed. Nate oversees the shamrock scavenger hunt in the field behind the community center, with kids and adults alike racing around, laughing and shouting.
And then there’s Rae manning the all-important petition-signing booth. Beyond festivity, the whole point of this event is to gather those crucial signatures for the incorporation.
As the day goes on, I get swept up in the fun. There’s something about the camaraderie, the laughter, the sense of community that warms me from the inside out. For a few hours, I almost forget the ache of missing Greg.
Toward the end of the event, Rae comes running over to us with a huge smile. “We did it!” she exclaims. “We have more than enough signatures!”
Mia, Nate, and I erupt in cheers and hi-fives. With the event winding down, it was just in time. It’s a major victory, and everything feels right in the world for a moment.
But the joy is short-lived. As we’re cleaning up, Rae comes rushing back, her face stricken. “The signatures,” she pants. “Someone stole them when my back was turned.”
My stomach drops. “What? How?”
She shakes her head, looking distraught. “I don’t know. I just turned around for a second to put the clipboards in a bin, and when I looked back ... they were gone. I’m so sorry, you guys. This is all my fault. I should’ve been keeping a closer eye on them.”
Mia immediately pulls Rae into a comforting hug. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. That could’ve happened to any of us. We’ll figure this out. If we can’t find out who did it, we’ll get the signatures again. It’s not the end of the world.”
Mia’s right. It’s not the end of the world. But after weeks of missing Greg, of waiting to know if my career is out of my hands, if Greg’s father is going to ruin both of our lives, Mia and Nate’s wedding plans reminding me of what I don’t have, and now this... I’m at my limit. My chest tightens as all the stress I’ve been suppressing rushes to the surface. And even though we’re outside, I feel like I just can’t breathe.
I pull Mia aside while Nate continues to reassure Rae.
“Mia, I’m sorry, but I need to leave,” I tell her.
She puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles reassuringly. “Of course. I’ll catch up with you later?”
I huff out a breath and shake my head. “No, I mean, I need to go home ,” I say, my voice cracking. “I’ve been trying to stay strong and act normally, but I just … can’t. I feel like I don’t know which end up is anymore. All this waiting and worrying … I think I just need to get out of Alpine Ridge for a little while.”
A look of understanding dawns on Mia’s face. “I was wondering when this would all hit you. But you seemed to be doing so well. God, I should’ve known you were faking it,” she says, frustration evident in her voice.
“Hey, this is on me. I should’ve spoken up sooner. Before I started having a mental breakdown,” I joke.
Mia’s eyes go wide. “Are you really having a mental breakdown?”
I open my mouth to deny it, but … “Yeah, kind of?” I admit. “For a while, everything seemed too perfect to be true. But when Greg’s father showed up with those documents … well, it all just unraveled, and I’ve been going downhill since.” Mia reaches out and squeezes my hand. When I’d finally told her about why I’d really lost my job, she was furious on my behalf. Even with her and Greg’s support, I’m only now realizing how much it affected me. “I feel like … Fuck, I don’t know how to feel anymore. And I can’t wait around forever for Greg to fix things for me. Who knows if he can or how long he’ll be gone.”
“He hasn’t said when he’ll be back?” she asks, pressing her lips together in concern.
“Nope. I even asked him to come home,” I admit in a small voice.
“Oh, Jo. He said no?” she asks incredulously.
I close my eyes and nod. “I tried not to see it as a rejection. I really did. I know he’s doing what he can. But that doesn’t mean it’ll work. And I feel like I’m hanging over the edge of a cliff right now, and I need to do something to pull myself back. Does any of this make sense?”
Mia sighs and nods. “Actually, yes,” she admits. “If I were you, I’d be going out of my mind.”
I give her a small smile. “I think I just need to reconnect with my real life. Since Greg is off doing his thing, maybe I should be too.”
Mia’s brow furrows, and I know what she’s thinking. She thought Alpine Ridge and Greg had become my real life. I’d thought so, too. Now, everything seems like a mess that I don’t know how or have the energy to fix.
Still, ever supportive, Mia steps forward and hugs me tightly. “Okay,” she murmurs. “I understand. We’ll look into the signatures issue and take care of everything here. You focus on taking care of yourself, okay?”
I nod against her shoulder, grateful for her support even as I feel like I’m abandoning her, abandoning all of them.
But I can’t think about that now. I need to go, breathe, and clear my head. So I give Mia one last squeeze, wave goodbye to Nate and Rae, and head for my car. I stop by Mia and Nate’s house only long enough to get my things, and then I’m back on the road.
Driving out of Alpine Ridge, I feel a sense of déjà vu. It wasn’t that long ago that I was fleeing Seattle, running away from my old life and all its problems, if only for a little while. And now, here I am, running back to it.
The difference is that I’m not sure what I’m running toward this time. Seattle doesn’t feel like home anymore, but neither does Alpine Ridge without Greg.
Greg. Just thinking his name makes my heart clench. I know he’s been busy trying to fix this mess with his dad and protect me, but the silence this past week after not seeing him for so long on top of it has been torture. I miss him so much it’s like a physical ache.
But I can’t think about that now either because Greg was clear about why we needed to be apart. So, all I can do is focus on myself and what I should do now.
I let out a harsh laugh. Who am I kidding? I have no idea what I should do. But I have to do something .
As the snowy peaks of Alpine Ridge fade in my rearview mirror, I feel a sense of loss. But also, strangely, a flicker of hope. Maybe this really is what I need. A chance to regroup and gain some perspective.
Maybe it’s time to remember who Joanie Morris is, separate from this town and these people I’ve come to love. It’s time to rediscover my strength and figure out what I really want.
Again, who am I kidding with this? Because what I really want is a certain mountain man with eyes like the summer sky and a heart as big as the Cascades.
I know that sooner or later, we’ll figure things out. I’d hoped for sooner, but clearly, that’s not meant to be. It’s a good opportunity to focus on myself for now, anyway.
Seattle isn’t quite how I left it; it’s somehow busier. Fuller. As I drive through the rain-soaked city, a sea of umbrellas skim the sidewalks.
When I let myself in, the condo feels impersonal. The quiet is deafening. I drop my bag on the floor, and it echoes through the small space.
After I’ve unpacked a bit, I flop onto the couch with a sigh. Funny how a place I once loved can seem so different now.
Maybe I should try harder. Maybe getting back to work would make me feel more like myself. I can still handle the incorporation project from afar, and Greg and I agreed we’d split time between Seattle and Alpine Ridge. It could work.
My eyes slide to my laptop on the dining room table, but I’m too restless to look at job listings right now. Maybe later.
I decide to finish unpacking first, methodically putting away my clothes. But as I do, I realize my wardrobe no longer feels like me. It’s all sharp angles and power suits, remnants of a life that no longer fits.
On impulse, I start pulling things out and making a pile for donation: skirts I can’t imagine ever wearing again, blouses that feel too constricting, towering heels that now seem impractical. It’s cathartic, shedding these layers of my old self.
When I’m done, my closet looks bare. But somehow, I feel lighter.
Next, I wander into the kitchen, opening cupboards and the fridge. They’re all depressingly empty, so I decide to brave the rain and do some grocery shopping. Hopefully, the normalcy will help snap me back to myself.
But as I walk the store’s aisles, I miss Alpine Ridge — the friendly faces that were becoming familiar. Here, everyone avoids eye contact, and I feel lost and faceless in the crowd of shoppers.
I shake off the melancholy and focus on the task at hand. I grab some essentials — coffee, eggs, bread, butter, and cheese — to get me through the next few days until I can figure out a plan.
Back at the condo, I put away the groceries and make myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I purposely wanted to feel closer to Greg by remembering when he made me one, but all it does is make me miss him more. I eat at the counter, staring out the window at the grey Seattle skyline — a far cry from the snow-capped forest and majestic mountains of Alpine Ridge.
As I do the dishes, my mind starts to wander. What am I doing here? Running away from my problems? From the best thing that’s ever happened to me? The thought makes me pause, sudsy water dripping from my hands.
Am I really going to let Greg’s father dictate my life? Let my former employer’s threats push me away from the man I love, the friends who have become family, and the town that’s started to feel like home? What is there for me here, really? Coming home to no one from a job in an industry that now chafes? It’s not like I spend much time with my parents either. Even before they retired to travel the world, we were never close, all three of us being uber career-focused. And I don’t have true friends here anymore, either, merely a professional network of barely-acquaintances.
I think of Mia and her unwavering faith in love, Nate and his quiet strength, Rae and her resilience, and Greg, who loves me for exactly who I am, flaws and all.
They’re worth fighting for, and this life I’ve started to build with them is worth fighting for because it’s so much better than anything I ever had here. Fuck the law firm. And fuck Everett Tyler.
I finish the dishes, my mind spinning. I need to talk to Greg. I should’ve called him before I left Alpine Ridge, before I freaked out and ran. Again.
Which makes me remember … he’s here in Seattle.
How did I not think of that until now?
I reach for my phone, my heart in my throat. But when I place the call, it goes straight to voicemail. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I’d never even asked him where he was staying, either. I mean, I know he has a house here, but where, I have no clue.
So now I’m back in Seattle, wishing I was with a man I met a hundred miles from here, who is also somewhere in this city. I just can’t win today.