8. Chapter 8
eight
F.I.N.E. - Too Close To Touch
Three Days Since Talia’s Abduction
Jackie’s desk had become a warzone. Notes, half-eaten protein bars and shakes, and other agency-related documents lay scattered atop it. Every time Jackie started working on one thing, her brain shifted halfway through when a new idea or lead came in. Her mind felt as messy as her desk.
A few feet next to her stood a large white board; what few leads they’d gathered so far were pinned to it. Despite being a relatively small faction of the Russian mob, the Bratva stronghold in Toronto apparently had a reputation brutal enough to keep people from talking.
She sat, frantically writing a letter to Cliff, begging for his help.
It wasn’t something she did lightly. Cliff was an ally and a close friend, but he already risked so much with what little communication they did have.
He was almost caught going into Jackie’s the morning of Theo’s attack, and again when he returned to check on her in the night after she’d been sent home from the hospital.
He was already on thin ice with Patterson, with his loyalties at CSIS in question; any further communication or assistance could easily expose them.
But Jackie was desperate. Only three days since Talia’s abduction, and the leads already seemed to have run dry.
There were a few she and Dimitri were saving as last-ditch efforts, hoping it wouldn’t come to reaching out to them.
Cliff was the safest option right now, even if it meant putting himself on the line.
If it were too much risk for him, Cliff would just tell her no.
But the idea of him doing that made the pit in Jackie’s stomach grow.
The quiet of Jackie’s office was interrupted by the soft click of her door closing. She looked up from her letter to find Kendra striding toward her desk before settling into Dimitri’s seat.
“You skipped your session,” she said simply.
“I’m busy,” Jackie replied before returning her attention to her letter.
“Too busy to take care of your mental health?” Kendra questioned. “I’d say now is the best time to be making it a priority—to be making time for it.”
“I do not have time,” Jackie stated, finally looking at Kendra and hoping she sounded final.
Kendra didn’t speak, but Jackie could feel Kendra watching her with that assessing look that made her want to scream. She held the silence for too long, a cool smile playing on her lips when Jackie finally looked up from her letter again.
“How have your nightmares been? Have they stopped since the abduction, or gotten worse?”
Jackie huffed through her nose. “I don’t have time for this,” she said again.
“Make the time.”
The silence returned, thick with tension now. They watched each other through the silence; Jackie’s lips pressed into a tight line, and Kendra’s assessing look remained.
Jackie broke first, hoping to get Kendra out of her office. “They’re fine.”
“Liar,” Kendra replied. Jackie thought she might actually scream.
“I do not have time for this,” she hissed.
“You were already wearing thin before the abduction, Jackie. You can’t afford to burn yourself out now.
You’re not getting Talia back if you make yourself sick looking for her.
” Kendra paused, letting her words settle on Jackie.
Her shoulders sagged momentarily, telling Kendra she had at least planted the seed.
“I typically wouldn’t force therapy on someone, but there are too many people with a vested interest in your well-being, not to mention a kidnapped woman who’s relying on you to get her back.
So, I am going to force my hand and tell you to make the time. ”
“You’re not the boss here,” Jackie seethed.
“So fire me.” Kendra shrugged.
Jackie hesitated, surprised by Kendra’s nonchalance. She breathed hard through her nose, knowing damn well she couldn’t fire Kendra. “I’m not the only person seeing you.”
“You’re right.” Kendra nodded. They stared at each other for another long while.
Jackie wanted to fight, to kick and scream and tell Kendra to fuck off.
But like their last two sessions, there was so much Jackie wanted to say that just wouldn’t come out of her mouth.
The scream lodged in her throat was getting dangerously close to coming out.
Finally, Kendra broke the silence. “Can I see your journal?”
Jackie didn’t speak as she dug the journal out from among the papers strewn across her desk.
Where her mouth failed her, she seemed able to write things out pretty easily.
She had already filled about a quarter of the notebook she handed to Kendra.
She flipped through it, clearly surprised at how much Jackie had written.
She took photos of the first few pages before pausing and looking back up at Jackie.
“Do you have another notebook you could use this week? I’d like to go over this before our next session, which I’ll add to your calendar for you.”
“You can’t make me go,” Jackie scoffed, sounding enough like a petulant child that she couldn’t help but cringe at herself.
Kendra smiled. “Then I’ll come to you again. I’ll let you off easy today, but be ready to talk next week.” She stood and left. Jackie leaned back in her seat, trying to calm her breathing.
She didn’t care that Kendra was right; that she needed to think about her own mental health, or that others saw Kendra, too. She wanted to fire Kendra for distracting her from the search for Talia. Talia was her priority. Jackie would get back to her mental health when Talia was safe and at home.
Until then, Kendra could fuck off.
Jackie tried to return to her letter, but could not bring herself to focus on it, still stewing over Kendra’s visit. She did not like being ordered around, much less by a subordinate. Even if deep down she knew Kendra was right, she wouldn’t stand to be spoken to that way.
Her writing had grown sloppy with anger, and her letter made less sense as she went on.
She paused, rereading everything she’d written and realizing she would have to rewrite most of it.
She shoved it away with a huff. She pushed her fingers through her hair, scratching at her scalp with her grown-out nails, when a soft knock pulled her attention away from her wallowing.
“What now?” she snapped, looking up to find Drew staring at her with wide eyes.
“I… uh… I can come back later,” he stammered, pointing behind him.
“Sorry,” Jackie said, pulling her fingers through her hair again. “What do you need?” She tried to soften her tone.
Drew hesitated, as if he knew, despite Jackie’s attempt at settling herself, that what he was about to ask would not end well for him.
“I know everything is kind of a mess right now…”—he let the words hang in the air before continuing—“but Liv got out of her treatment centre two weeks ago, and she was wondering when she could start working like you offered.”
Jackie stared at him like he’d lost his goddamn mind.
She tried a breathing exercise to calm herself down before she ripped Drew to shreds.
She never took her eyes off him as she did, as if she needed to watch him to keep focus.
Somehow, Drew’s eyes grew wider under her gaze, as if he was waiting for a volcano to erupt.
“She’s far from qualified to encrypt or do anything Talia does, but she can sort my mail and take my appointments,” she finally said through gritted teeth.
All the tension seemed to leave Drew’s body. “Thank you,” he breathed.
“If she hits on me even once, she’s gone.”
“Of course, she’s better now, I promise. She’s sober, fully committed to me and has no residual feelings toward you.”
Jackie grimaced. Olivia Vanier had been a hot mess the last time she saw her. While Jackie believed she’d spent her money well on the treatment centre where she’d sent Olivia to get clean from drugs and alcohol, she still wasn’t sold that Olivia was over her teenage crush on her.
“Whatever, it’s the least I can do with what I have to ask you to do for me,” she sighed, sitting up a little straighter.
Drew stepped further into the office, curiosity taking over.
“I need you to go through all CCTV footage from the night Talia was taken with a fine-toothed comb. I’ve gone through the footage from my place, but I lost sight of the vehicle when they hit the Gardiner Expressway.
I need you to find the vehicle from there and find where it went. ”
Drew ran his hand through his hair now. “Did you get the plate number? It shouldn’t be too hard to write up a code or algorithm to search the city’s CCTV footage to find it.”
Jackie nodded, her heart fluttering at the prospect that they might finally have a lead. “I’ll send you everything I have so far. Liv can help you once she starts.”