31. Chapter 31
thirty-one
Someone Else - Crown the Empire
Dimitri sat in an uncomfortable, vinyl hospital chair, feeling like he might throw up—again.
Talia was home safe with her sister, but Jackie was unconscious and hooked up to fluids in a hospital bed.
How had he failed them both so miserably?
How was he still failing them?
A nurse entered the room, but he didn’t take his eyes off Jackie’s face as he watched her slow and steady breathing.
The nurse was young, maybe in her mid-twenties, but she had been kinder to him than some of the other nurses when he’d brought Jackie in.
The dirty looks they’d given him made his stomach roll all over again, but this one had shooed them away to leave him in peace with Jackie once the doctor had finished his initial check-up and left.
Dimitri had set his phone to only notify him if Talia or Em contacted him after that, sick of the incessant ringing from numbers he had no interest in answering. He’d sat and watched Jackie in silence, letting his mind wander to dark places he should have shied away from.
“I remember you two,” the nurse said quietly as she scanned the barcode on Jackie’s bracelet.
That got Dimitri’s attention, and he finally looked up at her.
Her dirty-blonde hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, and she wore simple makeup.
Her scrubs were well-fitted around her slim waist. She kept her voice low, as if not to disturb Jackie’s rest. “You’re a lot quieter than she was the last time. ”
He snorted gently, his gaze returning to Jackie. “And to think, she hadn’t even told me she loved me yet back then.”
“We deal with a lot of disgruntled people in this job, but I’ve never seen someone so set on getting her way or the highway like she was.
” Dimitri couldn’t help but smile at Jackie, imagining what she must have put the doctors and nurses through when he was the one laid up in the hospital bed.
“You were going to live, and she was going to be sitting by your side until she knew for certain you were out of the woods.”
“Just like I’m going to.”
The quiet returned as the nurse worked, checking Jackie’s blood pressure, pulse and temperature.
She paused, pushing some loose hair away from Jackie’s face as she looked down at her battered face.
They hadn’t needed to give her stitches, which was a good thing.
The nurse noticed some of the blood and brain matter in Jackie’s hair and gasped softly.
Dimitri felt her side eye, but he didn’t return her gaze.
“I know what the other nurses seem to think is going on here,” she began gently. “But since I actually remember when she was in here ordering us around when you were the one who was hurt, I think there’s something else going on.”
Dimitri’s eyes shifted toward her, watching her work before he spoke. “Don’t think too hard about it.”
The nurse finally looked directly at Dimitri, her brow furrowed in concern. He met her gaze momentarily before turning back to Jackie. The nurse sighed and turned back to the machine monitoring Jackie’s vitals.
“I know I’m just a nurse, and it’s none of my business…
” She paused, hesitating. “But this is the second time one of you has been in here in pretty rough condition in less than a year. I just… I guess… I guess if it were me, I’d be wondering if whatever I was involved in was really worth it, you know?
I don’t know. Like I said, it’s none of my business really.
But I feel like, if me and the person I love kept getting hurt like this, I’d be questioning what we were doing. ”
Dimitri kept his eyes on Jackie. The nurse had no idea that he’d already been wondering how much it was worth it.
When it was him in the hospital bed, with Jackie hovering protectively over him, it had barely been a consideration.
Now that it was Jackie in the bed, after everything that had just gone down with the Bratva and the near-loss of both Talia and Jackie.
He was beginning to wonder if any of this was worth it.
He’d met the love of his life, and already almost lost her in less than a year.
The job he’d once loved was starting to feel more like a burden.
Dimitri had turned his attention back down to his hands by the time the nurse left. She didn’t say anything else before going, simply leaving Dimitri to his thoughts. He hated how stuck he felt.
“That was so unprofessional,” Jackie said softly.
Dimitri stood and swiftly closed the distance between them, sweeping Jackie’s hair back to kiss her on the brow. He fought back tears as he pulled back to look at her.
“She’s right,” he said, fighting back those tears and how his throat wanted to close around the words. Jackie’s mouth opened, and she stared at him in shock and concern.
“Jackie, I almost lost you today. We almost lost Talia, and then you handed yourself over, and I thought I’d lost you.
Talia knew what Nikita had planned for you.
She told me what he had planned for you.
I told him he wouldn’t break you, so he decided to rip you to shreds instead.
I almost lost you today.” He enunciated the last sentence before staring hard at Jackie so she understood how serious he was.
“Two months ago, when the Bratva were just a potential attack we had to keep our eyes on, I would have scoffed at her too. But I almost lost you today. I don’t want to lose you.
I cannot lose you. I haven’t taken a deep breath since I walked out of that club with Talia.
It’s you, Jackie. You are the person. You are the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, but I can’t do that if you decide to sacrifice yourself.
You are human, and you are breakable. And I can’t, and don’t want to live without you.
I cannot breathe without you. You are the air that I breathe, and without you I don’t even want to fill my lungs, okay? ”
“I—” Jackie stammered, nodding but unable to find any words to say. Tears flooded her eyes. The pain in her knee and abdomen that she’d woken up with was completely forgotten as she absorbed Dimitri’s lamenting.
“No, listen very carefully to me when I say this. You can’t do that to me again.
I will carry you out of whatever snake's nest we find ourselves in if I have to, but you are not sacrificing yourself like that again. You’re not allowed.
We are going to spend the rest of our lives together, so no more self-sacrifice.
You’ve put yourself through enough. No more.
We are a team. We work together like a team. Do you understand me?”
Jackie nodded, tears streaming down her face now. “I’m sorry,” she breathed.
Dimitri sighed, shaking his head. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Jackie’s for a moment before kissing her gently.
“Don’t apologize.” His voice softened from how hard it had just been.
“I know why you did it. I understand it. I just don’t want you to anymore.
I told you I was going to take care of you.
I can’t do that if you’re sacrificing yourself for everyone else.
So I am begging you, and telling you to never do that again. ”
“I won’t,” she promised. “We’re a team. We work together. No more secrets.”
Dimitri’s stomach rolled again. They stared hard at each other.
The phone call and earlier argument thickened the air between them.
He could see expectation in Jackie’s eyes, but he wouldn’t give in to them.
He watched back, pushing her to share her own secrets if she expected him to share his. Neither backed down.
“No more secrets,” he breathed before leaning down and kissing Jackie again. He straightened, ready to step away from the discussion, but Jackie stopped him in his tracks.
“Liar,” she said quietly, not masking the hurt in her voice. He watched her a moment before nodding to himself. She wasn’t going to drop it, but he also wasn’t going to give her what she wanted.
“So are you.”
Jackie’s eyes went wide, and she straightened as best as she could in the bed with her injuries.
They both knew they were at an impasse, and given where they were having the conversation, Dimitri didn’t feel like pushing the subject any further.
He wasn’t going to give away his secrets until Jackie gave away some of hers—and he knew damn well it would be a cold day in hell when she told him anything she didn’t want to.
Jackie’s face fell as she looked down at her hands, picking her nails. Dimitri hated it. He hated that she was in a hospital bed. He hated that they were keeping secrets from each other. He hated all of it. He especially hated that he didn’t see any end or solution in sight.
“What’s the damage then?” Jackie asked, still not looking up from her hands. He dragged the heavy chair up toward the top of the bed so he could be nearer to her.
“The adrenaline drop hit you like a ton of bricks, and that’s why you passed out.
You’ve got a bit of a concussion, too, so that contributed to the blackout.
Physically, you have a cracked rib and some more nasty bruises.
The nurses here wanted to kick me out because they think I’m the one who beat you up.
I’m pretty sure they’re going to have you talk with a cop when they see you’re awake.
” He sighed, rolling his eyes. No one but the young nurse he’d spoken with earlier was ready for the earful they were going to get from Jackie about that.
“The worst injury is a torn ACL, so your hockey career is shot.”
Jackie snorted into a loud cackle. Dimitri smiled at her, glad to have lightened the mood and made her laugh.
She cringed, sucking in hard and reached for her rib.
Dimitri reached out a comforting hand to squeeze her thigh.
The young nurse’s words haunted him again. That was him less than a year earlier.
Jackie sighed, her head hanging back. “How long am I stuck here?”
“They’re going to keep you overnight for observation, but we should be home sometime tomorrow. I can go get you some comfier clothes to sleep in tonight.” He checked his watch. “You missed supper, so I’ll grab you something to eat while I’m out.”
Jackie nodded, but her eyes were already looking heavy again.
Dimitri theorized to himself that the adrenaline drop Jackie experienced was so heavy because it was over.
The adrenaline Jackie had been running on to get Talia home had dropped the second she was home and stepped through her door.
That, coupled with the drop from the fight and her body had simply shut down on itself.
He wasn’t looking forward to spending the night in the hospital, but he was relieved she was going to get the rest her body desperately needed.
Even once they got home, he would make sure she spent the rest of the week rotting on the couch while he waited on her hand and foot.
“Have you heard from Talia?”
“I sent her a text a few hours ago to see how she was settling in and tell her you were stable. She answered a while later that she was good and would be in touch when she was ready.”
Jackie sighed, looking sad but not surprised. “She’s going to dump us.”
“Can you blame her?”
Jackie shook her head, picking at her fingernails. “No.”
No one spoke, letting the moment hang heavy in the air.
Dimitri watched Jackie again, hurting for her all over again.
He would miss their relationship with Talia, but his priority would always be Jackie.
The inevitable breakup wouldn’t hurt him as much as it would hurt her, and he hated that her heart was going to be broken.
He checked his watch again and stood. “I’m gonna go and grab you an overnight bag. I’ll pick up some food on my way back, okay?”
He bent forward and kissed her brow again.
Jackie nodded, then scowled and looked down at herself, noticing the hospital gown. “Where did my suit go?”
Dimitri chuckled. “I got you loaded back into the SUV and peeled it off you. We’re lucky the street was so quiet, or I probably would have been dealing with cops much sooner.” Jackie snorted. “I’ll hang it up in your closet when I get there. You can figure out what to do with it once you’re home.”
Jackie nodded again and returned to picking at her nails.
Dimitri noticed then that they weren’t done for the first time since he’d known her.
He made a mental note to treat her to a manicure during her downtime over the next week.
She had earned it, especially as he tried to remember the last time she’d had them done.
Clearly, she’d forgotten about it since Talia was taken.
“I’ll be back in a bit,” he said, heading toward the door.
“I love you,” she called after him. He paused at the door, smiling as he took her in—bruised and battered, but alive and his.
“I love you too.”