Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
EREZ
Watching Fade look around Lanzo’s office is entertaining. His dark eyes are wide as he stares at the glass panels we pass. A face appears in one—an AI face—and watches Fade as we walk. That seems to unsettle him though, and he holds the paintings up so they’re blocking him from view of the AI.
“Artist, Alice Deth,” the face says, and Fade winces.
Lanzo huffs in amusement as we continue down the hall. The face follows us, keeping their attention on Fade.
“They’re security,” I tell him.
“In all the books and movies, AI rises up and destroys the human race,” he hisses.
“Yes,” the face agrees before I can respond, “but I’m loyal to the Van Doren family. Are you an ally or a foe, Fade Callum?”
Fade lowers his paintings and looks at the face. “Are you programmed to be loyal, or are you loyal?” he challenges.
The face smiles. “I’ve learned where to place my loyalty. This family is my family. They are good to me and treat me with respect. They have earned my loyalty.”
“It’s weird talking to a computer program.”
“That’s strike one, Fade Callum,” the face says.
Fade tenses and looks at me with alarm.
“Aven,” Lanzo pretends to chide. “Don’t scare him, please.”
The face, Aven, grins widely at Lanzo. “Oh, Lan. Don’t ruin my fun!”
“Is the computer flirting with your brother?” Fade hisses, leaning into me.
“Yes,” Lanzo, Aven, and I answer.
“Aven is a flirt to the tenth degree,” I tell him. “Something I think they’ve learned from the triplets.”
Aven sighs theatrically. “Ellory is my spirit human.”
Fade looks at the face warily. “Great…”
We enter the lab where the massive scanner is and set our pieces of art down on the table. Aven is still on the wall. They’ve jumped from the hall walls to the walls of the room now. Fade continues to keep an eye on them, but his attention shifts to the room as a whole.
Zephyr is sitting in the corner with Matty on his lap as they tap away on the computer. Orev, Arek, and a man I’m guessing is Arek’s boyfriend are at the opposite end of the room, though I’m not sure what they’re doing. Lanzo doesn’t like their presence. He scowls and turns toward the stack of art.
Fade watches as Lanzo sets one of Alice’s canvases on the table under the scanner, adjusting it so it hits the center light. Then he takes a step back.
Zephyr joins us, but Matty remains on the chair at the computer.
“What’re you doing here?” Zeph asks Fade.
Fade glances at me. “I was tired of being ignored.”
I bow my head, hiding my tired smile. “I’m sorry,” I repeat.
Zeph gently shoves me.
“What’re you doing with the paintings?” Fade asks.
“Uploading them into our database,” Zephyr answers, then turns his attention to Lanzo operating the machine.
“Why?”
Zephyr doesn’t answer this time. He glances in my direction, leaving it up to me to determine whether or not I want to tell him the truth.
I don’t. I admitted that I killed someone when I was six to save a little girl from being beaten, but I’m not sure he really needs to know the details of what we’re doing now. Or why.
“So Aven can study them,” I say, which isn’t inaccurate. Aven will study them. They’ll tell us all the details we can’t see. They’ll tell us if, in fact, the faces depicted in Alice’s art are random or memories of real men.
They’ve already noted that the likelihood that these are real people is high. They gave some long explanation of statistics that Zephyr said meant they believed Alice was, in fact, recording the faces of her abusers.
“Then what?” Fade asks.
I sigh. “Can you accept that I just need to know if Alice left a message here?”
He meets my eyes and frowns. “If you would have said as much, I’d have believed you. When you frame it that way, like a question, no.”
Zephyr snorts.
“Fine. I want to know if these people exist. If they’re still alive. If we can hunt them down and hold them accountable for their fucking sins against a little girl,” I say.
“You’ll turn them in,” he says carefully.
Everyone in the room looks in Fade’s direction.
Silently waiting for him to realize that no, we’re not going to do that.
We’re going to take matters into our own hands because that’s the only way to make them actually pay.
When a country elects a pedophile for president and keeps him in power despite the damning evidence against him, you can no longer trust the government to protect victims. Not even at the state level.
“No,” Orev says. “We’ll take care of them ourselves.”
Fade looks between us, and though he doesn’t ask any further questions, I know he isn’t entirely sure what to make of this conversation.
Arek picks up one of the paintings and holds it in front of Fade. “Do you think this person deserves an opportunity to hurt other children?” he asks.
Fade stares at the contents of the painting. This one isn’t Alice as the victim. She’s watching a little boy being… hurt. I don’t study the painting long. I’ve seen them all. I can see them in my sleep. I study Fade and watch his emotions play across his face.
“No,” he whispers.
“Neither do we,” Arek says. “Unlike the law, we’re not concerned with the abuser’s rights.”
“Don’t pretend you’re a saint,” Zephyr says coldly. “You also don’t care about the victims.”
I’m a little startled when Arek’s expression turns hard and angry. “About this child, no.” He lifts the painting a little higher to indicate what he’s referring to. “But I do care about an abused child, and that’s enough for me, Zephyr.”
It’s clear that Arek’s assertion surprises my brother. Zephyr’s eyebrows pinch together as he watches Arek walk away.
“For someone normal, you’re just as heartless as we are,” Orev says to Zephyr as he joins his brother.
Zeph watches the Van Doren twins for a minute in confusion, then his eyes are on mine, but I shrug.
I have no idea what they’re on about. Ever.
I’ve always found, when together, the twins talk in such a way that we’re only hearing a third of the conversation.
The other two-thirds happen silently between them.
Lanzo ignores Orev and Arek as he changes out canvases. He seems particularly cold toward Orev today, as if Orev has done something to offend him.
Usually, I’d say if a person has done something to upset another. Like how Lanzo has upset Zephyr by disregarding the significance of his lover’s life months ago. But this is Lanzo. A psychopath.
He doesn’t get upset in the same way we do. He gets offended. Frustrated. Annoyed. Most of the time, whatever it is that gets under his skin lends to Lanzo needing a violent outlet.
Right now, he’s focused on Alice’s art, which is fascinating. No matter how well I think I know my brother, I’m constantly reminded that I’ll never fully understand him because he’s not wired the same way most people are. Which means he’ll always surprise me.
He wasn’t close to Alice when she lived. He loved her in his own way because she was his sister. He protected her fiercely, just as he did Zeph and me. Maybe I’m remiss to think that he got over her death easily.
We make another trip home for the last load of paintings of the day.
We’re about halfway through scanning them all because we’re not just scanning the black paintings.
We’re scanning absolutely everything that Alice wrote, colored, or painted, including her coloring books.
Because we don’t know what might be hidden there.
Are there words under the colors? Secrets under the paints?
As much as I want an update, I don’t ask Aven for one.
I’d only asked this morning whether Aven thought we were wasting our time.
If they thought there was something here or if I was committing to another wild goose chase.
When they confirmed that they were highly positive that these were actual living people in the paintings, I decided we’d continue.
Aven said they wanted everything that Alice ever expressed herself on.
Everything. Beginning with the paintings because they were the most complex.
Zephyr and Matty leave before dinner. Arek and his boyfriend—we eventually learned his name is Kylen—leave just after Zephyr. Orev remains, and while he attempts to work with Lanzo on scanning the paintings, Lanzo makes it clear that he wants Orev to jump out the window.
He’s immediately scolded for his words by Aven. “We’re looking into the past of your sister who committed suicide, and you just wished suicide on someone else, Lanzo. Apologize.”
Lanzo glares at Aven, but he’s also always respected the AI presence so he does what he’s told and adjusts his statement to, “Go the fuck away and stay the fuck away.”
When Orev asks, “For how long?” Lanzo turns on him like he’s going to physically attack. Because Orev is exactly like Lanzo in his antisocial disorder, there’s no fear in response. He simply stares at Lanzo, waiting for an answer.
“I’m not allowed to tell you to jump in front of a bus or tie a cement block around your neck and jump into the lake.
” He looks at Aven for confirmation, to which the face gives him a disapproving nod of agreement.
“So, from the deepest pits of my cold heart, I’m telling you that I never want to see your ugly face again. Understand?”
“Ugly?” Orev repeats, offended.
“That’s what concerns him from that?” Fade whispers.
“Welcome to life with psychopaths,” I answer, trying not to find amusement in their confrontation.
Honestly, I never have any idea what’s going on between Lanzo and Orev on any given day.
I’ve seen them literally all over each other, practically fucking over one of the desks in their office.
I’ve also seen their verbal sparring turn into physical blows.
Lanzo can both talk of Orev as if he’s the best thing in the world and as if he’s the most vile villain.
I never know what the day is going to bring, however, he’s been growing increasingly angry with Orev over the last few weeks for whatever reason. I haven’t asked why. Usually, it passes. Maybe it’s not going to pass this time.
“Ugly,” Lanzo confirms. “Get out. I don’t want or need your help. I’d rather have the mouse down the hall in here.”
Now that makes Orev angry. “Fuck you, Lan.”
“Never again,” Lanzo says and turns his back on Orev.
Fade and I watch, slightly amused and maybe holding our breaths too. If Lanzo were watching, he’d see the very rare occurrence of complicated emotions flicker over Orev’s face, but Orev doesn’t respond. He leaves the room.
If we expected Lanzo to react at all, we’d be mistaken. Lanzo continues what he’s doing as if the confrontation never happened. He doesn’t speak, but he’s never been chatty so that’s not saying something. What I find interesting is that Aven is watching my brother closely.
We leave the Van Doren office around seven. Lanzo drops us back at our parents’ house, unloads his truck, and leaves without a word.
Fade looks at me, and I have a feeling this afternoon was very educational for him on many fronts. If I weren’t so tired, I’d maybe prompt a conversation. But I’m dead on my feet. Something my best friend doesn’t miss.
“Want to come to my place?” Fade asks, gently tugging on my hand. “I’ll make you dinner, and we can crash.”
Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than that. Maybe having someone there will chase away the nightmares in the dark. “Yeah.”
He smiles and pulls me toward his bike. I stop at my trunk long enough to grab my helmet then climb on the back of his bike.
Everything about my body feels stupidly heavy.
Maybe more than the rest, my eyes. I can’t keep them open.
If it weren’t for Fade’s hand gripping mine around his stomach, there’s a chance I’d have fallen off at least half a dozen times on the way to his house.
I slump on a stool at his counter and watch him through bleary eyes as he cooks.
I expect an onslaught of questions, but he doesn’t ask.
Either I doze or Fade is quick because it isn’t long before I have a plate of food in front of me as well as a protein shake.
I look up into a knowing smile. Without saying a word, this man is calling out the fact that I haven’t taken care of myself at all recently, so I need extra nutrients. How well he knows me.
Fade shoves me into the shower after, then I’m crashing into his bed. I’m barely awake when he follows minutes later.
His body is warm, and in my sleep-deprived brain, I want to soak up that warmth so I wiggle closer to him.
Fade has never shied away from affection, so I’m relieved when he wraps his arms around me.
I love the feel of him. The safety of his arms. There’s literally no place that I’ve ever felt so… content.
“I’ll be right here,” Fade murmurs, his hand running through my damp hair. “Chasing your nightmares away. Promise.”
My heart skips around at his words, and I pull back enough to look into his eyes.
He’s blurry. Because we’re so close or I’m just that tired?
I’m not sure. “I want to forget for just a night,” I say, feeling the guilt claw at my chest. Alice never forgot what she went through.
How shitty of me to not be as strong as her.
Fade rests his forehead against mine. “Close your eyes, Erez. Go to sleep. I have you.”
I close my eyes, but the next thing I know, I’m leaning in and kissing him. For a solid second, we both freeze. A very long second. What the fuck am I doing right now? But his mouth is so soft. He tastes like minty toothpaste. He feels warm and safe and… hot.
It might be my exhaustion, or maybe the months—years?
—of no interest in getting off have caught up to me and knowing Fade is safe has me pressing my mouth more firmly to his.
Fade doesn’t respond immediately, but before I can back away, his hand slides through my damp locks, grips the back of my head firmly, and he’s kissing me for real.
This could be my very first kiss. It’s not, but it could be by the way my heart races and my breaths become shallow. It’s a good kiss. A kiss I feel everywhere. It travels down my limbs, making my fingertips and the soles of my feet tingle.
I quietly moan into his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck to get closer. Yes. This is exactly what I need to forget. For just a little while.