Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
EREZ
Zephyr, Fade, and I return after sundown, but with us are Darwin instead of Matty, Lanzo, and our dads, Dadaz and Dadis.
We don’t find a lot in the basement. Not physically.
There are deep grooves in the concrete floor, bolts left in the concrete walls.
The partition walls that Fade suggested were to separate storage spaces are beat the fuck up.
There are ring hooks in the ceiling, as if someone had boxing bags hung from the ceiling.
There are no windows. In most of the rooms, there are no overhead lights either. No electrical outlets. I think that proves that these weren’t built for storage and inventory. You can’t see what’s down here easily.
The only truly telling thing we find that confirms something awful had taken place down here is when we examine the surfaces with a black light. It is… horrible.
It’s late by the time we leave. We have no leads to follow.
Nothing truly new to add to the case except that Alice pointed us here with her drawings, even if we don’t know why yet.
In my opinion, the evidence under the black light says a lot.
Splattered bodily fluids illuminate the same patterns we saw, staining the concrete.
But there’s nothing there. Nothing at all that we can take away or that will lead us to the next place.
Whatever happened down there, I don’t think it just stopped. I think they moved on for some reason. Moved to a new location. A bigger location. One that’s less likely to draw attention?
I’m tired when we arrive back at the estate where everyone’s vehicles are waiting.
When Fade asks if I want to go with him on his bike, I agree.
My fatigue isn’t just physical. It’s in my bones.
The sour feeling that’s been in my stomach since finding Alice’s paintings just keeps growing and growing, and tonight’s investigation only added to the sickness in my soul.
In my gut, I know that the people who had and abused Alice haven’t stopped. The only pedophiles who stop abusing are dead ones. Perhaps I killed one of them. But that one man’s face isn’t in any of Alice’s art. That’s the first person we tried to find a likeness to.
To me, that means he hadn’t sexually abused her yet. There’s a chance I interrupted his intentions that day.
I blink out of my thoughts when a bowl of chili is placed in front of me. A moment later, Fade takes a seat at my left with a bowl for himself.
“Thanks,” I say, then eat slowly. There’s no one who cooks better than Fade. He’s seriously my favorite cook, though I hope no one tells my mom that.
My eyes flutter closed as I hum in appreciation at the explosion of flavor in every spoonful. “This is good. I’m not sure you’ve made this for me before.”
“I don’t make chili often. Fresh beans take a long time, and I’m impatient.”
“Do they?” I ask, turning my attention to him.
“Mhm. It’s about texture and building flavor.”
“You began this while you were working this morning?”
Fade nods. “Yep. Have to keep you fed.” He grins.
I smile in return. “I appreciate it. I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for me eating at least eighty percent of the time.”
“I agree.”
I eat two bowls of chili, then we head to bed.
I’m so fucking tired. The sickness inside me churns.
I hate how ignorant I was when Alice was alive.
How could I look at her every day and not see she was still suffering from the abuse she endured as a small child?
I saw it with my own eyes! How could I have believed that was it?
How could I fucking believe that that was all she’d gone through?
Fade climbing into bed has me rolling toward him.
Like most nights, I press myself against his chest and immediately mold my mouth to his.
He may be the best kisser I’ve ever kissed.
It’s almost hypnotic, the way his mouth moves with mine like a magnetic dance.
For every give, there’s a take. Every pull, there’s a push.
There’s a sweet, magical cadence to it that can either stay as nothing more than our mouths moving on each other or light a fire in my core that quickly spreads throughout my entire body.
I’m restless tonight. Images of the spatter on the walls won’t fade from behind my eyelids. I keep hearing Matty’s words. There’s darkness down there.
I couldn’t save her.
“Fade,” I plead when his mouth leaves mine. I let my head fall back as his lips move hungrily over my neck.
“What do you want tonight?” he asks.
“Fuck me.”
Fade stills entirely before he looks at me through the darkness of the room. A light from the hall and from the bathroom gives us enough illumination to see but barely. He studies my face, but I doubt he can truly see my features.
“You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes.”
“Have you… done that before?”
I slap his arm, and he laughs. “I’m not a virgin, fuckhead.”
His teeth sink into my lip, and I laugh. “I meant… dick in your ass. You’ve done that.”
“I’ve done that.”
Fade’s breath comes out in a quick exhale. “Okay, then… okay.”
“Are you sure? Have you put your dick in an ass before?” I tease in return.
His eyes narrow, and I try to keep my laughter back. “I’ve made it pretty clear I’m into men. You have not.”
Oh. Huh. “I guess… I’m not big on a specific gender. I never thought to announce that. Sorry.”
Fade huffs and pulls back. I’m about to apologize again, though I’m not sure why, when I feel his hands on my underwear, yanking them down. Honestly, I don’t know why we even go to bed with them on. Are we pretending we’re not going to get naked? Some pretense that we’re modest?
He doesn’t come back to my mouth but settles between my legs as he sucks my dick and fingers my hole. It has been a while, so every touch, every finger, feels big and intense. Rushes of heat surge through me at the way he fingers me.
I close my eyes and let my body relax. Give in to the pleasure he builds inside me. Let it drown out the horrors that seem to build a little clearer every day.
By the time he releases my dick and has me stretched wide enough for an actual eggplant, I’m panting and ready for a fucking orgasm. I watch in the dark as he rolls a condom on, then hauls me up onto his lap.
We’re sitting. I’m not sure I’ve ever had sex like this. Finally, his mouth comes back to mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he situates me where he wants me. I’m not kneeling. My knees are bent with my heels against his ass. His big hands slide along my back.
He’s not rushed. There’s no urgency here. He touches me like he’s trying to memorize everything about me. He kisses me the same way too, committing my mouth to memory.
“Are you angry that I didn’t tell you I’ve had sex with men?” I ask when his mouth moves along my jaw.
He snorts. “No. Why would I be angry?”
“You kind of sounded annoyed.”
“Erez, you’re a closed book most of the time. Just when I think I know you, you prove to me how incredibly private you are. I love that you eventually tell me things, but I guess I kind of hate that I haven’t had your trust until now.”
“It has nothing to do with trust,” I assure him. “Sex isn’t huge on my priority list, so it never really crossed my mind to tell you that… I’m pan?”
“That sounds more like a question than an assertion.”
I’m relieved when I hear amusement in his tone again.
“I told you I grew up with the Van Dorens, which means no one was huge on labeling anything. There were so many old civilizations before us who didn’t even have language for sexualities and genders because it didn’t fucking matter.
We’re so advanced now that we need to put everyone in a damn box and give everything a definition.
Trust isn’t why I never said anything. I just don’t put importance on that stuff, so I forget when it’s important to other people. ”
“You’re an enigma that I never get tired of,” he murmurs, and I sigh because he’s not angry.
I hate the idea that Fade might be upset with me. In many ways, he’s my only friend. Not just my best friend but my only friend. The only person besides my family who puts up with my moody, broody ass and has stuck around.
The thought that I could push him away isn’t ever far from my mind, even if it doesn’t always pull me out of a funk.
“Fuck me. I can tell you all about my indifferences later. I need to be fucked.”
“By me,” he clarifies.
I roll my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous. Unless this is your way of—”
Fade cuts off my words with his mouth on mine. Then his hands slip under my ass and he lifts me. Guess those big gym muscles are good for something. I’m not sure how he finagles it, but he manages to line his cock up with my hole.
It’s been a really long time, and despite how long and thoroughly he stretched me, I gasp at the penetration of his fat cockhead.
My gasp turns into a groan as he slowly lowers me onto his dick.
I want to make a joke about big dick energy being legitimate, but I can’t catch my breath long enough to do so.
My head falls back, and Fade’s mouth takes up residence on my neck.
Licking, languidly kissing, nipping. In this position, gravity has him entering me in one slow, fluid motion.
If I weren’t spinning with the growing presence of his cock inside my body, I might comment on how impressed I am that his arms don’t shake as he lowers my weight onto him.
His arms wrap around my waist, holding me against him, and through my lust-fogged brain I note that it must mean he’s fully inside me. Goddamn. I’ve never felt something so divine. So perfectly fat. Long. Does it have its own heartbeat? Its own zip code?
“Holy fuck, Fade,” I grunt as his hips roll gently, sliding that big cock by mere centimeters in this position. “Fuck.”
“Feels good,” he says back, and I love that his deep voice is just as breathy as mine.
This position feels sensual. Personal. Intimate. This isn’t transactional. Not like this. Maybe that’s why Fade brought us into this position. There’s no way this can just be… sex. Meaningless.
Maybe this is a metaphor for our friendship. Shit. I’m so high on this pleasure that I don’t know what I’m thinking right now.
I try to kiss him, but I just can’t catch a breath.
He’s not moving deeply. With the way I’m sitting on his lap, it’s not possible to move a whole hell of a lot, which is probably what makes it feel so intimate.
We’re forced to feel. Concentrated and unable to process more than everywhere his cock touches me.
Fade eventually lays backward, leaving me straddling him.
I take that as permission to ride the stallion beneath me.
Which isn’t easy. Every downward thrust has me gasping.
When I hit just right, my eyes roll. I fuck myself on his glorious dick until I can’t hold myself upright anymore and collapse down onto his chest.
He rolls us and, thankfully, takes over. His mouth covers mine, swallowing the endless noises that he elicits from me. Fade doesn’t stop moving, possessing me and creating movement on my body as if I’m a puppet. His dick is the shaft that moves me where he wants me.
He’s not in a hurry to get me off. Fade moves fluidly between deep, hard, slow, rough, hurried, harsh, sweet. I get lost in a sea of pleasure until my orgasm has battered down the levees attempting to keep them at bay.
The way I writhe on his dick is indecent, and I’m pretty sure I want to be a fly on the wall to watch.
His cock continuously thrusting inside me throughout the duration of my climax does nothing but extend the pleasure.
Giving me something to clench around. Rubbing against me over and over as I writhe beneath him.
Fade takes his time following me. I may be more sensitive after my orgasm, but it’s still one of the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had. Maybe the best, though I’ll have to decide that when I can think clearly again.
When he finally comes, I’m nothing more than a limp noodle beneath him. His moans and grunts of pleasure as he releases his load have my cheeks blushing. So fucking hot. Goddamn. I had no idea this man was so damn hot. It’s like I’ve never truly looked at him before.
Slowly, Fade settles on top of me, but he’s not entirely still. His dick is slowly moving inside me with the gentle rocking of his hips. I wait for him to stop, but he doesn’t. I grin.
“You’re still hard. Didn’t we just get off this morning in the shower?”
“You’re the sexiest fucking man I’ve ever been with,” Fade says breathily.
His words make me smile, and I lean my head against his. “That’s sweet.”
Fade huffs. “You feel good,” he says quietly, lips at my ear. “I love your body. The feel of you around my dick. I can’t convince myself to lay still.”
“Doesn’t feel like you can convince your dick that you just got off either.”
I feel his grin. “If you need a break—”
“No. You’ve already gotten me hard again by taking too long to get off. I’ll generously allow you to keep fucking me.”
I jerk and laugh when his teeth sink into my sensitive neck. “Just so I know. Do you switch? You going to let me fuck you too?”
He nods. “Whenever you want, Erez. Just say the word.”
My eyes flutter closed again in contentment.
His minuscule rocking keeps me stimulated but not enough that I’m in a hurry to stoke the fires again.
I kind of love this. The comfort and familiarity that comes with being in bed with my best friend.
There’s no need for weird, forced conversation. Everything is just… easy.
Fade makes everything easy. I shouldn’t be surprised that he makes sex easy too.
Makes it feel like I’m caught in a lust storm of damning proportions.
I wrap my legs around his waist, and Fade shifts a little.
Maybe flattening somehow? Now pressing at a different angle, his dick hits the button to create a new burst of heat. Jesus fuck. Yes, please.