Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
FADE
When I’m recording in my studio, I don’t bring my phone.
All I’d need is for an alarm to go off, a notification, or a call to interrupt my recording.
There are times I can get easily distracted and end up down a rabbit hole if I even peek at my phone, so it’s best for my production if I don’t even bring it into the room.
When I’m finished recording for the day, I’m not in the least bit surprised to find that I have a message from Erez telling me he’s heading to the animal shelter to check it out. I send him a text to ask him what he’s found so far then go about preparing something to eat.
When twenty minutes have passed and he hasn’t opened my text, my chest tightens. I try to remind myself that there were a lot of hints and shit that Erez didn’t tell me the last time we were in Zeph’s office that imply this wouldn’t be the first dangerous situation he’s been in.
I’ve done pretty good at ignoring all the dark scenarios that periodically pop up concerning what Erez wouldn’t say. I keep telling myself that it’s not that bad. Whatever I’m thinking can’t possibly be as horrible as my brain keeps conjuring.
Then I think about this situation that they’re slowly uncovering. Honestly, it can’t get worse than this. Can it? Is there anything worse than this?
As my mind is once again falling into a spiral, I’m staring at my phone, waiting for Erez to return my text. Another ten minutes go by, and he doesn’t. Maybe I shouldn’t worry, but I do. So I call Zephyr.
He answers after a single ring.
“He’s fine,” Zephyr says when he answers.
“He went to the animal shelter,” I say.
“I know. When he told me he was going, I forced him to come here and get a body cam so I could watch him. I also sent Lanzo to remain in the area just in case, though I don’t anticipate anything going down.
Erez is anxious to bust this whole thing wide open, but he’s not stupid.
He is well aware that he can’t take it all on by himself. ”
I release my breath. “So you can see him?”
“No. I see what he’s seeing. Right now, he’s playing with a bunch of bunnies. He was just watching a baby goat five minutes ago.”
“This sounds like a petting zoo,” I comment.
Zephyr laughs. “He stands in front of the pet cards, so I can read them. The goat came from a farm in Montana—a pet for a child who, shockingly, didn’t take care of it. They surrendered the goat.”
“Do they legitimately run the shelter? Like adopt animals out?”
“Yes,” he answers, amused. “Interestingly, they do really well by the animals. I would wager a bet that they treat the animals better than the children they have in their custody. These animals are treated really, really well.”
“Do you think the people who operate the shelter know about the kids and… the stuff going on?”
Zephyr hums thoughtfully. “I’ve wondered this too.
I think that’s one of the reasons Erez wanted to go in.
I can’t hear their conversation since I opted for a tiny camera with a crisp view and live transmission, but from what I’ve observed, these people are pretty into the animals.
You can’t fake that kind of care and affection. ”
“So you don’t think they do?”
“Honestly, I want to say they don’t know.
Realistically, I wonder if they hear the kids and…
don’t ask questions. Are the kids silent?
Given Alice’s mutism for three years, I’m guessing they’re trained early on not to make sounds, so it’s possible that they simply don’t know.
Then again, looking at Alice’s art, she’d witnessed…
things… and those kids in the paintings don’t look like they’re silent. ”
My stomach rolls as I ask, “Do you think the black paint is a choice based on her mental state, or do you think it depicts the fact that she was always in the dark?”
Zephyr is quiet for a moment, then he says, “Huh. I thought it was a reflection of the demons she drew, but I wonder if you’re right.
I can confirm that the shelter is closed down overnight and there’s rarely someone on the side of the animals unless there’s a newborn that needs round-the-clock feedings so… ”
“There’s no cameras outside.”
“There is now. Ours. Ugh. My stomach feels sick.”
Mine does too, though I don’t think it’s fully calmed down since learning about this. How do these people live with themselves? Moreover, how have they gotten away with this for more than twenty years?
“Anyway. Erez is fine. I’m watching what he sees. There’s nothing to be concerned with. He’s not going to act on his own.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
I’d say I know Erez pretty well but not nearly as well as his brother does. Zephyr knows all his secrets, while he’s only just begun letting me in.
“Thanks.”
“Sure. Later, Fade.”
We end the call, and I rub a hand over my face. I’m guessing Zephyr knows exactly how I feel about his brother. I’d guess he also knows that, no matter how overt I’m being, Erez is entirely blind to the whole thing.
Speaking of brothers, it’s been a while since I’ve spoken to mine, so while my crispy rice cooks, I dial my brother. He answers after two rings.
“I thought I was going to get your voicemail. Why aren’t you working?” I ask.
“Why are you calling when you know I shouldn’t be answering my phone?” he challenges.
I laugh. “Was thinking of you.”
“Lucky for you, I’m not at work today.”
“Why is that lucky? You’re still employed, aren’t you?”
“Yep. Nevaeh had a field trip today, and I went as a chaperone. We went to the children’s museum.”
Shye spends the next several minutes telling me about the field trip and which exhibits Nevaeh liked best. I’m sitting at the table eating lunch by the time he takes a breath.
“So it’s going well?” I ask. “How’s it going with her mother?”
Shye sighs. “I did what you said. I grew some balls and had a conversation with Kyra. Told her I thought she was great but I just wasn’t feeling it. But I wanted to be in her daughter’s life. I wanted to be her father and co-parent. I will never abandon her. She agreed.”
“You don’t sound as excited as I thought you would.”
“She was great about it at first. I honestly thought it was going to be perfect. Two or three nights a week, we’d hang out like a little family even though Kyra and I aren’t together anymore.
She let me take Nevaeh overnight and out on daddy/daughter dates and school things.
Then she got this girlfriend, and the girlfriend doesn’t like how involved I am in their lives, so now Kyra is beginning to pull back, including how much time she’s allowing me to spend with Nevaeh. ”
I sigh heavily. “I will never understand jealousy.”
“Yeah. When I try to talk to her about it, she immediately gets defensive and I hear you didn’t want to be with me. Like that has anything to do with anything.”
“Maybe you need to change up your tactics. Talk to the girlfriend and assure her that you’re not interested in Kyra.
You just want to be there for Nevaeh. You want a peaceful, co-parenting relationship with Kyra.
That’s it. I’m not going to put care into this next part, so you need to before it comes out of your mouth but reiterate that you tried with Kyra and in the end, it was best for both of you that you’re not together. ”
Shye is quiet for several seconds. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll give it a try.”
“Make sure she knows—both of them, actually—how much you love Nevaeh and that you want to be her dad. That’s your biggest priority.”
He sighs. “Thanks, Fade. It’s almost as if you’re the older brother here.”
I grin. “Nah. But I’ve gone to my older brother many times for advice and happen to come away pretty good in those situations so I hope I can return the favor.”
“Love you too, bro.”
We talk for a while longer before getting off the phone. I spend the rest of the afternoon looking at my phone and cleaning the house. It makes my stomach flip and dance when I’m putting away clean laundry because it’s a mix of mine and Erez’s. As if he truly lives here.
In fact, every single room has a little bit of Erez. I hadn’t noticed when he brought over the blanket that’s now bunched up on the couch where he tends to sit, but I know for certain that’s not mine. I’m confident that’s one of the blankets from his couch.
I hear the front door open just as I’m getting comfortable on the couch with a book. As much as I want to jump up and greet him, I don’t want to come on too strong, so I wait.
Erez is quiet as he comes through the house. When I finally glance up at him as he steps into the living room, he looks like he’s carrying a boulder on his shoulders.
He gives me a tired smile that only seems to lift one side of his mouth, then drops onto the couch beside me. I shift so I can wrap an arm around his shoulders, and Erez adjusts so he can lean into my side.
“You okay?” I ask.
His quiet sigh doesn’t sound content. Erez leans heavier into me, and I shift a little more, bringing him into my arms more fully. That’s what he wants. He settles into my chest and closes his eyes.
“I hate waiting.”
“What did you find?”
Erez shakes his head. “Nothing that you wouldn’t generally find at a shelter.
I visited all the rooms where the animals were held.
They even let me peek into the back where there’s a parrot in need of medical attention so he’s kept away from the rest of the animals for now.
The only places I didn’t gain access to were the storage areas, which I’m guessing are a lot based on food and shit, but…
I heard nothing. Not a peep. If it weren’t for the videos we’re seeing from the outside cameras, I wouldn’t suspect anything at all. ”
“Makes you wonder if they truly abandoned the original laundromat because people were getting suspicious.”
“You know what I was thinking on my drive home?”
I hum while trying to ignore the way my stomach flips and dances when he calls this home.
“What happens when the kids get too old? What do they do with them?”
A brand new sick feeling fills my gut. “What do you mean?”
“At the very oldest, we’ve seen kids that are maybe eight or nine. I doubt any of them reach double digits. So… Where do they go when they age out of their sick game?”
“Oh my god,” I whisper.
“I know Lan is right. We need to wait until we find every last location. If they get even a hint that someone is onto them, they’re going to disappear and we’re going to need to start over.
But now, I’m not only worried about the kids that are actively being abused but what the fuck happens to them when they’re too old for their sick pedo preferences. ”
“Fuck, Erez.” I grip him tightly.
“Yeah. The only two scenarios I can come up with is that they’re either murdered or trafficked to a different market.”
I do not want to think about this.
“Lan thinks they’re killed, but I can’t decide if he thinks they’re killed because he wants to kill people or if he truly thinks that’s what happens to them.”
“Didn’t you say you were thinking about this on the way home?”
“Yeah. I called my brothers because it spooked me. I’m feeling a new sense of urgency, and they, once again, talked me down because we have to find all the locations or this won’t truly end.”
“I’m a little surprised that Lanzo is the voice of reason in favor of waiting,” I admit. “He seems very… indifferent.”
“You know he has an antisocial disorder, don’t you?”
“You’ve said as much in the past. You’ve offhandedly called him a psycho. I’m not sure we’ve had much of a conversation to talk about it beyond the basics.”
Erez nods. “He’s a clinically diagnosed psychopath, which is why he sounds so cold and distant when we’re discussing this situation. The only reason he cares right now is because of Alice.”
“Because he loved her?” I guess.
He doesn’t answer right away. When he does, I realize he’s trying to find the words to explain it to me.
“Everyone says those who have antisocial disorders don’t experience emotions like you and me, which, having grown up surrounded by half a dozen, I agree.
What I don’t agree with is that they don’t feel the same emotions we do.
They simply feel them differently. What you and I recognize as love, Lanzo doesn’t feel the same thing.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love. It means, for him, love equates to obsessive protection.
Ownership in a way. My brother and I are his most prized possessions.
He will burn the entire world down around us to keep Zeph and me safe. ”
“That definitely sounds psychotic.”
Erez snorts. “Lanzo loved Alice, though they weren’t close like she and I were.
When she died and we couldn’t find a note or letter or anything, Lanzo accepted that and moved on.
I think losing Alice has made him even more obsessive over Zeph and me, though that’s a different conversation.
Now that I’ve uncovered a bunch of things we didn’t know about Alice, it’s reopened something for Lanzo.
He couldn’t protect Alice when she was alive—not that I’m sure he’d know what to do if faced with protecting Alice from the threat that was herself—so now he’s focused on exacting revenge for the driving force behind Alice’s suicide.
If it was something that was all her own without abuse or an ugly past, I think he’d accept it still, but that’s not what happened.
Someone hurt his sister, and that’s unacceptable. ”
“He’s the voice of reason, though.”
“Because he’s not driven by emotion. Everyone—you, me, Zephyr, every neurotypical human being—is driven by emotion, be it love, hate, jealousy, or their own sense of self-righteousness.
Lanzo isn’t. He’s driven by the fact that someone dared hurt one of his, and now they’ll pay because that’s the only outcome he can imagine. ”
“He wants to kill them.”
“He does.”
I want to ask if Lanzo will kill them. How many people has he killed? But in the end, I’m not sure I’m ready for that answer.