Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Varlam
After that night, Briony never mentioned quitting again. I asked her permission and brought her back to my office, back to being my assistant.
But I hadn't set foot in the company for days.
I never exposed my heart to anyone. I gave orders. That's what I did. But Briony changed me. That's what scared me.
I walked to the window and lit a cigar. Smoke crawled across the glass, blurring the view outside. I dragged deep, tasting bitterness in my throat. Even though I'd kept Briony close, I still couldn't define what we were.
Brinny's return made everything worse.
"You're in love with Briony."
Her accusation before she left my office that day hit me again.
I thought I loved Brinny. I'd believed it for years. Because turning my back on that meant betraying everything I'd been. But now? What the hell was love anyway? Or had I lost the ability to feel it a long time ago?
My head had never been this scrambled.
"Sir, Miss Vasilieva is here." The butler knocked on my study door.
"Send her in."
When Brinny walked in, she looked worse than usual. Red eyes, dark circles underneath. But even like this, she wouldn't let herself fall apart.
"Varlam, I haven't seen you in days." She crossed to me, mouth pulling into something like a smile. "Are you avoiding me?"
"I've been working."
"From home?" She stared at me, eyes going glassy. "I know I messed up the other day."
Brinny rarely apologized. Apologies and weakness weren't in her vocabulary. Someone always cleaned up her mess. Usually me.
"I shouldn't have lost my temper with you. Or moved Briony to another floor without asking." She paused like the next words would cut her throat. "And I used your email to make her plan our wedding."
I'd never confronted her about it. But she admitted it now. That meant she'd actually thought about what she'd done.
"I know it was wrong, but I couldn't help it." Tears came as she spoke. "I love you too much. Seeing her in your office—I was jealous. I wanted her to know that no matter what happened between you two, the only person standing beside you in the end would be me."
A princess raised on everyone's worship, admitting jealousy. Admitting she'd lost control. Admitting she'd used dirty tricks on another woman. Her honesty was almost brutal. Something cold and hard in my chest loosened.
"Don't do it again." I sighed.
Not the first time I'd said those words to her.
She nodded fast.
"I thought about this for a long time before I came back.
Varlam, this wasn't impulsive. I gave up my life abroad, gave up that freedom.
I made a real decision." She went on, voice dropping.
"I don't know if I came back too late. I don't know if you still want me.
I'm just... so insecure. That's why I lost it. Why I said those things."
She was right. I'd been the one to propose marriage first. She'd accused me of being too controlling back then, but she'd never outright said she didn't want to marry me. Now she'd come back on her own, admitted her fear, admitted she wanted marriage—and I'd given her nothing but "I'm not ready."
She'd been part of my life since before I became Pakhan. I shouldn't make her cry.
"Stop crying." I lifted my hand, thumb sliding across her cheekbone to wipe away tears.
Her shoulders trembled slightly. She leaned into me carefully, face pressing against my chest. The position was familiar. Years ago when her heart bothered her, she'd lean on me like this. I'd slow my breathing, stay still—like any movement might disturb her fragile heartbeat.
"You're still the same as before. Even your comfort sounds like an order." She laughed softly against me. "But I never really hated it."
I looked down at the top of her head. Her perfume drifted into my lungs. But what came to mind was Briony's blonde hair and that clean lemon scent. Thinking about Briony at a moment like this was the worst possible timing.
Brinny suddenly wrapped her arms around my waist and rose on her toes toward my mouth.
"Kiss me, Varlam." Her warm breath ghosted across my jaw. "Let me know nothing's changed between us."
I looked at her pale lips. All I had to do was lower my head and I could kiss her. I'd kissed her before, when we were together. But I'd forgotten what it felt like. One thing I knew—it wouldn't be like kissing Briony, wouldn't get me hard with excitement.
"Go lie down." I knew damn well this was just an excuse. "You just cried. You need rest."
Brinny's body went stiff.
"I'm fine."
"Listen to me," I said. "I'm not going anywhere."
Her grip on my shirt slowly relaxed.
"Okay," she finally said.
I took her upstairs to the guest room. At the stairs, she grabbed my hand. She walked slowly. I slowed to match her.
She noticed. The corners of her mouth lifted.
"You still wait for me." Something light entered her tone.
"I promised I wouldn't leave." I gently held her wrist to keep her from falling.
"You always keep your promises." She said.
Those words made my hand tighten unconsciously. I'd promised my father I'd protect the family, keep the empire he'd built, and never let anyone see weakness. Those promises pushed me to where I was now. They'd also taught me to calculate the cost before making a promise.
When Briony asked what we were to each other, I couldn't answer.
Because I knew once I said it out loud, it would become another promise. And I didn't know yet what I was willing to pay for it.
At the room, Brinny sat on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand.
"Father's arranged a yacht party." She said.
"When?"
"This weekend. He wants you there."
"Fine."
Such a small thing. I didn't want to refuse her.
"Bring your assistant too." She said it like she'd just thought of it.
Something inside my chest plucked tight.
"Why?" I was surprised.
"She works for you. She should see how things are done." Brinny smiled gently, as if she hadn't been the one demanding to know if I loved Briony in my office that day.
Before I could respond, she dropped her eyes, looking guilty.
"Consider it my apology to her," she continued.
When she mentioned apology, her thumb curled slightly against her skirt. I knew letting go of her pride wasn't easy. Admitting jealousy had already cost her enough dignity.
But I wanted to say yes for a different reason.
A image flashed through my head, unbidden. Briony standing on a yacht, blonde hair blown back by the sea breeze. Swimsuit fabric clinging to her curves, full breasts barely contained, thick thighs pressed together.
She'd lift her chin like she was deliberately provoking me, letting sunlight move across that young, soft body. She'd blush under my stare but wouldn't hide. She'd just ask in that bold voice of hers if I'd seen enough.
Heat rushed toward my groin. My throat moved.
"Yes. I'll bring her."
"Then it's settled." Brinny looked at me for two seconds, then shifted further onto the bed. "Stay with me."
She lay down, the dark circles under her eyes even more obvious.
"You said you wouldn't leave." When I didn't move, her breathing turned urgent.
I took off my jacket and lay down on the outside of the bed, like when we were kids. Brinny turned on her side, head resting on my shoulder.
"I really miss the time when we were together." As she spoke, her fingers traced along my chest, sliding down toward my abs.
I moved to stop her, but she was already pushing herself up, swinging one leg over to straddle my waist. Her skirt bunched at the top of her thighs, long hair sliding off her shoulders and brushing across my chest.
Damn it. I knew exactly what she wanted.
"Get off." I immediately gripped her waist, stopping her.
Brinny didn't listen. Of course she wouldn't. Her palm continued down my abdomen, covering my cock through my pants.
"You're hard." She gasped, blue eyes going wide.
Yes, I was hard. But not because of her. Because of Briony in a swimsuit in my head.
Brinny clearly took my silence as confirmation.
"I knew it." Her mouth curved up. "Your body remembers me."
Her hand tried to move further. I caught her wrist.
"Stop." I'd never used such a harsh tone with her before.
"Why stop? You obviously want me." She looked at me, confused.
I didn't answer. If I said Briony's name, the peace in this room would shatter. Brinny couldn't handle that kind of blow.
I moved her off me, settled her back in place, then pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.
"Don't use my body's reaction to prove something about us. Your heart's not strong." I thought of the time we'd spent together. "I told you I'd always protect you. I will. You don't need to be afraid or insecure."
She grabbed the edge of the blanket, knuckles white. After a few seconds, she turned her back to me. She pulled the blanket over her head, burying herself completely.
"Sometimes I really hate how considerate you are." Her muffled voice came from under the covers.
"Sleep." That was all I could give her.
After Brinny fell asleep, I drove back to the company.
The moment I walked into my office, I saw that desk—finally not empty anymore. Briony's things were arranged neatly on the surface. Computer on, half-finished coffee beside it, a faint lipstick print on the cup's rim.
That trace of color hit my eyes. The empty space in my chest felt filled again.
A few minutes later the door opened. Briony walked in carrying a stack of files. When she saw me sitting there, she clearly froze.
Today she wore a cream-colored knit dress, soft fabric hugging her chest and waistline. Like she'd noticed my stare, she unconsciously pressed her arms tighter to her sides, which only pushed that fullness higher. My gaze caught there for a few seconds, out of my control.
"There's a yacht party this weekend." I leaned back in my chair, eyes still fixed on her. "You're coming with me."
I pulled two black boxes from the cabinet and set them in front of her.
"What's this?" Briony looked at the boxes, then at me.
"Open them."
She lifted the lid. Inside were two swimsuits. The first was black, fabric so minimal it was almost provocative. The second was deep blue, more conservative cut, thin straps decorated with tiny crystals.
"Two swimsuits? You want me to change twice in one day?"
"I'm trying to figure out which one suits you better." My gaze swept over her full curves. "But I can only tell once you put them on."
"Now?" Disbelief written across her face.
I nodded, gesturing toward the lounge inside my office.
"Unless you want to change here," I added.
Her breathing stopped for a beat. Then she grabbed one box and walked into the lounge.
I was certain both would fit her. The question was never about the clothes. It was about that overly generous body of hers. I needed to see for myself what those fabrics covered and what trouble they'd let loose.
A few minutes later, the lounge door opened again.
Briony stood in the doorway wearing the black swimsuit.
Thin straps on her shoulders, large sections of chest and waist exposed.
That scrap of black fabric barely contained her full breasts.
The rounded curve of her ass extended from the high-cut edges.
Her tight, fleshy thighs looked blindingly pale against the black.
She was clearly trying to look composed, but her toes curled uneasily against the carpet.
"Turn around." My voice came out rougher than expected.
She pressed her lips together but obeyed. Ties crisscrossed her back, bare skin running all the way down to the dimples above her ass. Fabric clung to her round backside, pulling slightly taut with each breath.
I could imagine how the men at that party would look at her—thinking they were being subtle while their eyes crawled over her body with filthy thoughts.
I stood and moved behind her, close enough that her spine went rigid.
I gripped her waist and pulled her back half a step. When her soft ass pressed into my palm, a small gasp escaped her throat. I squeezed that plush flesh through the swimsuit.
"Is this part of party prep too?" Her voice shook, but she still dared to provoke me.
I leaned down to her ear, gaze locked on her flushed face. "This is me calculating how many eyeballs I'll need to gouge out."
Her breathing hitched. "You could just not look."
"You stand in front of me dressed like this and expect me not to look?" My fingertips pressed along the tie at her waist. "Don't make demands even you don't believe."
She spun around to glare at me.
"Change into the blue one." I patted her soft backside and stepped back.
She bit her lower lip, like she was cursing me out—or maybe hiding a flash of disappointment. She grabbed the other box and went back into the lounge.
When she came out again, the deep blue swimsuit covered most of her torso, neckline supporting her chest line properly, crystal-studded straps glinting as she approached.
"Come here." I pulled out a small velvet box.
"What now?" She stopped in front of me, eyeing the box warily.
I opened the lid. A honey-brown crystal pendant necklace lay inside.
The first time I saw it, I thought it looked like Briony's eyes. Bright. Beautiful.
I brought the necklace around the side of her neck, backs of my fingers brushing her warm skin.
When the clasp closed, every tiny hair on the back of her neck stood up.
I didn't pull away immediately. Instead, I held her shoulders and turned her to face me.
The crystal settled below her collarbone, matching the blue swimsuit perfectly.
"Beautiful," I said.
She looked down at the necklace, then back up at me.
"You mean the necklace?" She smiled.
"The necklace is just a stone. You're the one giving it value." I looked into her eyes.
Her eyes were bright, brilliant. I was wrong. This crystal couldn't match a fraction of her brown eyes.
Her lips parted, but nothing came out.
"Anyway, the necklace suits you. So does this swimsuit."
"So which one should I wear?"
"Blue." My fingers went to the thin strap on her shoulder, straightening it. "Because the black one—you only wear that for me."
She stared for two seconds, red flooding from her face to her ears.
"You're awful." She shoved my hand away and grabbed the boxes, fleeing back to the lounge.
The door slammed shut. I smiled. The lightness felt almost inappropriate but too real to deny.
But thinking about other men looking at her on that yacht this weekend—my good mood turned edged with dangerous restlessness.
Anyone who stared too long would become a problem I'd have to handle.