Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Briony
The ocean hit me like a wall of ice. Salt water flooded my nose, crushing the world into murky blue. Gravity dragged me deeper. My arms clawed uselessly through the water.
"Help—" The ocean choked off my voice. I spat it out, lifting my head again.
"Help!"
Music still played on deck. Laughter too. No one heard.
I looked up toward Brinny. She was still standing there. Those blue eyes locked on me, colder than the water, full of malice. Her mouth curved slightly. Then she grabbed the rail and swung her leg over. Smooth. Practiced.
Water crashed down on me. The wave shoved me under. I thrashed back to the surface, barely keeping my nose above water.
The crazy bitch had jumped in after me. I had no idea what she was playing at, but I didn't have the strength to figure it out.
I kept slapping at the water, kept screaming for help.
Brinny stroked through the water. Fast. Clean cuts with her arms, no panic. Then she stopped. Let herself sink. When she surfaced again, she started screaming.
"Help!" Her voice pitched with panic.
I screamed too. Called for help.
The wind tore our voices to shreds. The last red at the horizon was being swallowed by black. Once the sun went down completely, the ocean would all be one color. From the yacht, we'd just be two dark spots nobody would notice.
"Here!" I threw my arm over my head, waved with everything I had. My arm started shaking almost immediately.
Finally, someone leaned over the stern. A woman stared at us for a few seconds. Her face went pale. She pointed at the water and shouted. More people crowded to the rail. Someone threw a life ring. Others ran toward the cabin.
The ring hit the water, then the waves pushed it away. My stomach went cold. My teeth were already chattering.
Then the crowd on deck suddenly parted. Varlam charged to the rail, shoulders tight, steel-gray eyes scanning the water.
"Varlam!" I shouted, relief flooding through me.
His gaze swung toward us.
"Brin!" The calm was gone. One hand already braced on the rail.
Hope hit so fast my nose stung, my eyes burned.
He saw me. He'd come for me. That thought kept my arms from giving out. Someone tried to stop him. He didn't even turn. Vaulted the rail. Dropped into the water. The splash forced my eyes shut. When I opened them, he was already swimming toward me.
My lungs found air again just knowing that.
"I'm here!" I raised my arm as high as I could.
A wave slammed into me. Pushed me under. I fought back to the surface. Varlam was close now, his eyes full of a fear I'd never seen before.
I reached out. He lifted his arm. Our fingertips were maybe a foot apart.
The knot in my chest finally started to loosen. Then he swam past me. The current from his powerful strokes hit my face. My outstretched hand caught nothing but cold water.
"Brin!" He didn't stop. Didn't even look at me.
He kept swimming. Toward Brinny.
My ears rang. The ocean seemed to pull back.
Brin.
Briony. Brinny. The syllables were so close. I'd known her name all along, but I'd never put them together.
The hope that had been holding me up turned into a blade, sliding slowly under my ribs.
I tried to tell myself he just didn't see clearly. But he'd swum right past me. Close enough I'd seen the water on his eyelashes. He'd seen me. He'd just chosen not to stop.
The air squeezed out of my lungs.
No. I couldn't sink here.
Rory was still at home, waiting for me to make dinner. He might complain it was awful, but he always ate every bite. I kicked hard, dragged more air into my throat.
Varlam reached Brinny, held her firmly above the water. She immediately went limp in his arms. She'd been slapping at the water moments ago. Now she didn't move. Her face pressed against his shoulder.
Varlam tapped her cheek. She didn't respond.
"Brinny, look at me." Panic crept into his voice.
Crew members lowered the platform, prepared to pull them up.
I could only watch as Varlam swam farther away with Brinny in his arms. He pushed her onto the platform first, then gripped the edge and hauled himself up.
I clawed at the water, tried to stay afloat.
"Varlam, I'm still here!" I coughed violently. Tears and seawater blurred everything.
The night waves got rougher. One after another, pushing my chin back under. Fear gripped my heart. I had no doubt I would die here.
The current dragged me farther from the yacht. I could still see the people on board. Could still see Varlam kneeling beside Brinny, gently brushing wet hair off her face, then lowering his head, pressing his lips to hers. CPR.
My chest felt like someone had punched straight through it. All his attention was on Brinny. And I was still hoping he'd remember there was a second person in the water.
Varlam bent down again and breathed more air into her. Brinny coughed up water violently. Her eyes opened. She grabbed his shirt, frightened. She said something I couldn't hear. I only saw her crying as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Varlam immediately lifted her.
"Get a hospital on the line!" Varlam shouted as he carried Brinny into the cabin.
My heart went completely cold. The cold burrowed into my bones. I couldn't feel my hands or feet anymore.
I didn't even know if anyone on the yacht remembered I was still in the water.
"Help... here..." My throat produced barely a rasp.
Finally, white light flickered across the water, then disappeared behind a closing wave. Everything from the yacht vanished. I sank. Only the muffled sound of water in my ears. I really was going to die. I'd never see Rory again. My consciousness was being pulled away. I closed my eyes, unwilling.
Just as my awareness was about to fade, a hand suddenly clamped around my wrist. Another arm came from behind, caught my shoulder, dragged me up.
Was it Varlam? Had he come back for me?
"Hold on!" The voice came through the water, distant, like from another world.
But it wasn't Varlam. My mouth filled with bitterness.
I felt myself being pulled away from the deepening dark. Then my body landed on something solid.
Hands pressed on my sternum. Once. Again. Water surged up my throat. I turned my face and coughed violently. The first breath felt like fire, burning all the way down into my lungs.
"Easy. Breathe." Someone held my shoulder, kept me from thrashing.
I was placed on a bed. The air warmed, but my body shook harder. My teeth chattered, a sound I couldn't control.
"She's hypothermic." The voice wrapped more thermal blankets around me.
I don't know how long I lay there. Minutes. Maybe an hour. Varlam never appeared. My chest ached with that suffocating pain again.
I half-registered being lifted. When I finally caught the scent of antiseptic, I slowly opened my eyes.
The yacht had docked. Several ambulances lined the shore, lights flashing.
One ambulance had its rear doors open. Brinny lay on a stretcher inside, oxygen mask over her face. Varlam sat beside her, completely focused on her. My stretcher was pushed to the other side. The restraints clicked into place.
Varlam didn't look up. The EMT closed the rear doors. The vehicle started moving. I should have felt safe. My body still felt like it was in the ocean.
"Brin." Varlam gripped Brinny's hand tightly and called to her softly.
The syllable came out so gentle it was almost unrecognizable. Brinny's lashes fluttered. She finally opened her eyes.
"Varlam." Barely a whisper.
"I'm here, Brin." He lowered his head. His lips brushed the back of her delicate hand.
I'd always thought Brin meant me. Every time he used that name, I thought he was seeing me. But he wasn't. Maybe the similar name was the only reason I'd gotten close to him at all.
He'd been missing a woman who'd been gone for years. And I happened to have a similar name, a body good enough to distract him briefly. So he bought my company, kept me close. So he kissed me, touched me, but never said what we were.
Because substitutes don't need labels. They just need to fill the void until the real thing comes back.
My chest felt flooded with seawater again. The monitor beeped urgently. The EMT checked the lines, told me to relax my breathing. I closed my eyes. Tears slid from the corners.
He'd never been calling for me. And now I finally knew who I was to him. Not Briony.
Just a substitute whose name sounded like Brinny.