Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
The flames of my childhood home flicker through my watery vision. My entire family was in that house, everyone except my parents.
“I need to get them.” I push myself to my feet, but CJ holds me back.
“Stop. It’s okay,” he says.
“It’s not okay. Why didn’t you just walk away? You should have left me. I could have talked him out of this. Now they’re all gone. Rosie, Aurelio.” I choke on my siblings’ names. “I have to get them out.”
I try to wriggle free of CJ’s hold. He just holds tighter.
“They’re not in there. They already got out, Daniella. They’re safe.”
“What?” I pause.
“They got out,” he says.
I search his eyes. CJ has never lied to me before… that I know of.
“They’re not in there?” I ask him.
“No, your Uncle Santo found the explosives and got everyone out of the house in time.”
“We need to move,” Elias says.
CJ bends and picks me up, bridal-style. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he says, although I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself.
Either way, it’s not okay. My childhood home is in flames. The sound of sirens approaching gets louder as CJ walks with me in his arms down the street.
He shifts my weight, then reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone before he hands it to me. “Here,” he says.
I look at the screen. There’s a call from my dad. “Daddy?” I say, putting the phone to my ear with a sob in my throat.
“Daniella, thank fucking god. You okay, baby girl?” Dad asks.
“Where are you? I needed you. I need you, Daddy.” I haven’t called my dad that in a really long time…
“I’m going to meet you at Uncle Marcel’s. CJ is going to take you, Daniella. You’re safe now,” he says.
“I… Hurry,” I tell him.
“I’m hurrying, sweetheart. I’m going to see you real soon. I love you,” Dad says.
“I love you.” I hand the phone to CJ as he places me in the back of an SUV. That’s when I see my brother running towards the car. He jumps in on the other side.
Without a word, he pulls me across the seat and wraps his arms around me tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
My fingers cling to his shirt as I let it all out. “I forgot,” I say between sobs.
“You forgot what?” Aurelio asks.
“I forgot what I was supposed to do. What Dad taught us to do,” I admit.
“It’s okay. You did good, Daniella. You stayed alive,” Aurelio tells me.
CJ is on my other side, his body pressed against mine. The moment Aurelio lets me go, my husband wraps his arm around me and I sink into his hold. His lips press on the top of my head.
“Where’s Rosie?” I ask Aurelio.
“She’s with Uncle Vin. She’s fine,” he assures me.
“No one was in the house?” I know CJ already told me everyone was out. But I need to hear it from my brother too. Honestly, until I see them all with my own eyes, I’m probably not going to believe it.
“They all made it out. Everyone is fine, Daniella,” Aurelio says.
My body shivers. I’m so cold. CJ sits forward, shrugging out of his jacket before he wraps it around my shoulders and pulls me against him again. His cousin is driving, and his aunt is in the passenger seat.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” CJ insists. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I never should have let you out of my sight, a mistake I won’t fucking make again.”
Elias pulls up to my Uncle Marcel’s house, the security guards at the front offering me very little comfort right now. I always thought nothing could hurt me in my home, in my childhood home. No one was supposed to be able to get in.
My dad wasn’t there, though. I can’t help but think that if he had been home, this wouldn’t have happened. I know that’s not fair to the rest of my family. I know they did everything they could. And that CJ is going to blame himself for not keeping me safe. I also know it’s not his fault.
“Come on, let’s get you inside.” CJ opens the door and reaches in to pick me up.
“I can walk,” I tell him, climbing out of the car.
CJ’s arm wraps around my waist and his fingers dig into my waist. I know he needs me as close to him right now as possible.
I feel the same. I don’t want him to let me go.
I need the touch. I need to know he’s here.
But the fear that he will put himself between me and any kind of danger is in the back of my mind.
I’m going to be the reason this man dies. I just know it.
The moment I walk into my uncle’s house, I’m bombarded. Everyone pulling me into an embrace I don’t want to pull out of. As soon as I’m let go, CJ is right back next to me with his arm on my waist.
“I’ve run you a bath in one of the guestrooms, sweetie. Follow me.” My Aunt Zoe starts walking up the stairs, and I follow because I don’t know what else to do.
When we get to the bathroom, my aunt looks from me to CJ.
“I need a moment alone with my niece,” she tells him.
“If she’s in this room, then I’m in this room,” CJ tells her.
“I need to have a conversation with her that she might not want you to hear. Give her a couple of minutes.”
“I’m not leaving,” CJ growls.
I sigh in relief. When my aunt suggested that he leave me alone in here with her, I started to panic.
My hands started to shake and my body went cold.
I’m not scared of my aunt. I’m scared of not being with CJ.
As much as I don’t want to have him sacrifice himself for me, I feel safe when he’s near, and right now, I just really want to feel safe.
“Daniella, do you want him here?” my aunt asks.
“Yes,” I assure her.
“Okay. I’ve called the doctor. He’s going to come and check you over, but I need to know what to tell him. Did that man… did he…” my Aunt Zoe stutters, and then it clicks in my mind what she’s trying to ask.
I feel CJ’s body tense next to mine. “No. He didn’t touch me,” I assure them.
CJ exhales the breath he was holding.
“Okay, I’ll let you get cleaned up,” my aunt says before leaving the room.
“Aunt Zoe,” I call after her.
“Yeah?”
“When my dad gets here, can you send him up?”
“Sweetie, I wouldn’t be able to keep him out of here,” she says. “But yes, I’ll tell him where you are.”
“Thank you.” I look at the tub and then at CJ. “I don’t want to have a bath.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Can you have a shower with me?” I ask him.
“Whatever you want.” He lets go of me and I feel instantly cold. CJ reaches into the shower and turns it on, testing the water until it’s warm. “You want me to help you undress?”
“Since when do you ask permission to undress me?” I counter.
“I don’t want to do something wrong.”
“I’m okay,” I tell him. I’m not. I’m far from it but I don’t need him worrying about me.
“You’re not, but you will be,” CJ says, reaching for the hem of my shirt. He lifts it over my head and I raise my arms.
“You’re right. I will be.”
I unbutton my shorts and slide them down my legs with my panties, then kick off my shoes. I unclip my bra next and step into the shower.
CJ undresses, and a few seconds later, he’s behind me. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so fucking sorry I let him get to you.”
“It’s not your fault, CJ.” I turn and wrap my arms around him. “It’s not your fault,” I repeat because I know he’s never going to believe me. “But you need to choose yourself. I don’t want to be the reason you die one day.”
“You are the only reason worth dying, Dani,” he tells me.
I don’t spend long in the shower. Now, I’m sitting on the bed with a robe wrapped around me. The door opens and I flinch, but then I see my dad and I’m jumping up and running for him.
My arms snake around his neck and I hold on to him. My dad pulls me closer. Pressing a kiss to the top of my head as his hands run through my hair.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers.
“I was so scared. I wanted you,” I tell him.
“I know. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there, Daniella. I’m sorry.”
“Dad, the house… It’s…”
“I know. It’s okay. It’s just a house,” he says. “What matters is that you’re okay. Your sister and brother are okay.”
My mum’s arms tug at me. “Honey, shit, I’m sorry,” she says, hugging me to her chest.
“I’m okay, Mum.” I take a deep breath. “The house, your house…”
“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “It’s just a house, sweetheart.”