Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LONDON
T he I told you so hits even harder when you're talking to yourself. It's been twenty-four hours since I dropped the doozy of all doozies in Xander’s lap, and it’s been crickets ever since.
Am I the asshole for tossing out the whole, I'm ready to have a baby right fucking now ? Possibly.
Or is he the asshole for not saying anything after I word vomited all over him? For not following me inside, declaring I’m his, and begging on his knees to be my baby daddy?
Yes, one thousand percent.
That was the only acceptable response because I never thought we would end up here when this all started.
Rolling over, I readjust the pillow as I stare at the ceiling. I don't know why this is so upsetting. What we had was fun but fleeting. Fleeting. I knew that going in. But he just had to go and be perfect and caring, kind and funny, thoughtful and so fucking sexy. The dark intensity of his stare laser focused on me made me feel like his world. His universe. The whirlwind was so unexpected I didn’t even realize I’d gotten caught in his pull.
I never thought I’d be here. Before him, I was absolute in my desire to find a donor and become a mom all on my own. I had my family, I had my friends, I would never need a man again.
Somewhere along the way, he slipped past my defenses, and for a brief sliver of time, I allowed myself to hope. Dream a little. Yet again, I was wrong.
What's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, damn it to hell. Or however it goes. First Travis, and now Xander. But it's fine. I’m fine.
Tossing off the duvet, I trudge into the bathroom. Flipping on the light, I avoid the mirror. I don't need to see this catastrophe, I’m living it. Feeling it. So deep in my bones, it’s suffocating my spirit. This soul crushing sense of disappointment. I don't even know why, maybe it's the loss of what could have been. While obviously we're not ready for kids, I would have liked for him to at least say that he enjoyed our time together and he wanted to continue it.
Ugh, come on, get over it. Stepping into the shower, my eyes are squeezed tight as the too warm water blasts my face. Wiping the water, yes, it’s water , from my eyes, I turn my back, letting the warmth soothe me as I shake my head.
I don't know what I’m saying at this point. I don't want him . He’s Xander. The fuckboy extraordinaire. I don't need him. But I would have liked to have him beside me for a little while longer.
No, it’s not because I'm scared of what's next. Scared to take that big step and change my life forever when I can't even find an apartment that I like. I mean, I did make this huge move across the country. I'm all out of determination and fucks at this point. Maybe I just need to sit my ass down and rethink this thing called life.
Fuck, that's what I liked about spending time with Xander. There's something about him that just made everything feel so easy, carefree, and fun. Which was a world away from what I left behind in Seattle.
Stepping from the shower, I do what I can to look presentable before dressing in a fresh set of silk pajamas and climbing back into bed.
Knock. Knock.
My head shoots up to see Sasha in my doorway with a huge smile on her face.
“Hey, girlie. It's time to start getting ready.”
Rolling over onto my back, I rest my head on my arm, giving her an indulgent smile.
“Ready for what? Nothing’s more appealing than a day in this cozy bed.”
“How about beautiful dresses? Gorgeous shoes I know you’re dying to try on. An open bar and what I’m sure will be delicious food, live music, and dancing.”
I cock my head, frowning.
“Did you forget about the party tonight? Just think of all those things and add me, Gem, and Mia. It’s a night you don’t want to miss.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “Those things sound amazing, but that means I have to get out of bed and put on actual clothes.”
“No worries.” She pushes the door open wider as Gem and Mia join her. “The stylists are here, and they can help. Then we can get in your closet. We’re dying to play in your shoes. Yay, we’re going to have so much fun tonight!” She gives a little shimmy, and I laugh.
Mia gets a running start and jumps on my bed, making me bounce and giggle as Gem joins her. I don’t have the heart to kick them out, I’ll just have to change my bedding later.
“Yes, show us all your shoes,” Gem calls where she’s sprawled on her back. “We can't wait to be you when we grow up.”
I laugh. “Okay, relax. I'm only five years older than you.”
Sasha comes in and sits at the foot of the bed. “Yeah, not really. We're so immature.”
They all laugh and nod, fully in agreement with her, and I join in.
Pulling myself together, I stand to show them my more precious shoes in the closet. “What’s this about a stylist? And what is this thing tonight?”
They look at each other before turning to me before Mia says, “Remember? We scheduled a team to come over with clothing options in case we couldn’t find anything this close to the event. There will also be hair and makeup, since it's a black-tie event. But don't worry, it won't be stuffy.” She stands, bending to pull Gem with her. “Come on, we only have a few hours to get all gussied up.”
“Gussied?” I ask, and we all snicker.
Following them into the living room, I frown, recalling what Mia just said.
“When did we discuss hiring stylists? I feel like I would remember a conversation about gowns and glow ups?”
“It was a while ago,” Gem says, turning to pick up her phone.
Before I can respond, Ty enters the room, with what is basically a pit crew. Racks on racks of dresses roll into the room. People are already setting up hair makeup stations with lighted mirrors.
“Damn, you girls aren’t playing around tonight.”
“You could say that,” Mia says, a little smirk on her face.
We high five. I could definitely get used to this.
“London, you look amazing!” Gem calls out.
I give a little twirl as I approach the girls standing around the island in the kitchen. I'm not usually someone who likes dark colors, I prefer my bright shades or bold patterns, but my eyes immediately went to this floor length black gown, and I knew I had to have it. The strapless neckline and the structured bodice lifted the girls, letting them out to play, respectfully. I also love the slit and slight volume of the skirt. There was no way I could take an entire night with my legs restricted by a fitted skirt. Thankfully, my hair is bouncing and behaving, the hot rollers gave my dark locks gorgeous curls and volume. Smoky makeup and small diamond studs in my ears completed my look.
“You're so sweet and look at you. You all look amazing.”
They immediately jump to it, all striking poses, à la Charlie’s Angels . Gem's in a glittery white one shoulder high slit gown, those dark curls swept back into a sleek high bun. Crystals of some sort are woven throughout her hair making her sparkle from head to toe.
Mia is a total showstopper in a deep aquamarine strapless gown. Her blonde hair full and curly with a deep side part.
“Look at you and this hair. I love this color on you.” The deep blue makes her eyes pop beautifully.
Giving Sasha a spin, and I ooh and aah over her gorgeous flaming red dress. Held up by gold chain and jeweled straps, the column dress hugs every curve of her body. Coupled with her blood red lips and dark curled hair parted in the center, it’s giving bombshell.
“Alright, you guys look like Charlie's Angels. Who am I? Not Charlie but whoever the other guy is.”
They burst into laughter. “Oh no, we have to come up with a name for all four of us,” Sasha says as we all stare at each other for a full minute.
“Oh my gosh,” Mia calls out. “Are we the new Fucksmen?”
“Fuckswomen,” Gem corrects.
Sasha covers her face and giggles. “No, we have to come up with something better than that.”
“Let's think about it over drinks,” I say, tapping the island. The girls dutifully follow me to the bar where there's an ice bucket with champagne ready for us.
“Thank you so much for inviting me tonight because without you I undoubtedly would have stayed in bed the rest of the night feeling sorry for myself.”
Avoiding their eyes, I pour each of us a flute of chilled champagne.
“Yeah, since you won’t tell us what’s wrong, we’ll just brush it under the rug for tonight,” Mia says with a smile.
“And I really appreciate it. Wait, what about the Bae-Team, you know, like A-Team?”
“Four Queens?” Mia asks.
“Fab Four?” Sasha adds.
“The Covenant?” Gem squeals.
We all turn to her, and she shrugs. “Sorry, I watched The Craft and The Covenant last night. I’m in my wicca era.”
We fall into each other laughing and after we’ve finished off the bottle, I'm actually excited to get out and enjoy the city. I’ve been too busy with my job and house hunting to fully enjoy it. Who am I kidding, I’ve been to some incredible places with Xander, but those don’t count. Once I have some free time, I’m going to fall in love with this city all on my own.
Gem holds up the shot glass Mia deftly slid in front of each of us. “Cheers to a fun night with no limits.”
Cheers, we say as we clink our drinks, meeting each other's eyes before we tap our glasses to the countertop and down our shots.
After the burn wanes, I can’t stop myself from shrieking, “No Limit Soldiers!”
The howls that erupt from us chase away the last remnants of today’s dark cloud.
Climbing out of the limo, I'm surprised when we pull up to a palatial estate outside the city. It's quiet and dark in this area but beautiful, nonetheless. I assumed the event would be downtown, maybe in a hotel ballroom or event center, so going to a private estate wasn’t on my bingo card. But from the well-lit landscaped grounds and the high arching doorway with the dark wood door, it almost feels like a castle.
The girls are already dancing, the bass loud enough to greet us as we make our way to the door.
I give a little giggle, excitement flowing through me along with champagne and the shot or two of vodka. I swear these girls are bad influences. Before we can reach the oversized door, it opens, and a man dressed in a black tuxedo greets us.
He nods, welcoming us as he gestures down the long hall. There are a few people in the foyer, but I can hear his “follow me” over the strains of music as we move deeper into the house. Stepping down the three stairs into an oversized room void of furniture except for designated seating areas sporadically placed throughout the space.
Scanning the room, I guestimate about three hundred or so guests are mingling with cocktails as waiters in black vest glide through the room with trays of champagne, wine, and even some smoking cocktails. There are bars at either end of the space, along the near wall an enormous table of finger foods, while the back wall is completely comprised of glass and it looks over the manicured lawn, patio, and outdoor seating.
The DJ’s set up in the corner playing 90s R&B that already has my hips swaying, and steps away is an empty stage set up with microphones and instruments.
Turning to the girls, I say, “This looks amazing. A DJ and a band, my feet already hurt at the amount of dancing I'm going to do tonight.” We laugh, but the girls are distracted, looking around, rising on their tiptoes as they scan the crowd.
“Who are you looking for? Are your men meeting us here?” They don't respond so I look around too.
“What is this party again? You never really said.”
“Oh.” Sasha turns to me. “It's an anniversary party.”
“An anniversary party for a business?”
Mia smiles. “No. For a couple. This is their wedding anniversary party.”
“What? So, they have a huge party every year for their wedding anniversary and just invite random people?”
“Well…” Gem's lips screw up. “I wouldn't call us random people. We know their son. He's a really good friend of ours and he invited us to the party. He insisted you come.”
“That's nice of him. I’ll be sure to thank him when we meet. So, I guess he needed some people his own age.”
Scanning the crowd, there’s a wide array of people of all ages. I imagine his parents are in their fifties or sixties, but there are several people who appear to be much younger.
“Is the son a childhood friend?” The girls don’t respond, but then the bartender catches my eye, and I order another flute of champagne for each of us.
Taking our drinks, we move to the end of the bar, the girls still searching the crowd and checking their phones.
“Are Ty and Eli coming?” I ask.
Gem smiles. “Yeah, they should be here already.”
I nod, fighting to hide my disappointment. I was looking forward to a night with just the girls. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cousin and Eli, but after last night, some time alone to bitch to the girls would have been nice. Now, I don't think I can put up with all the lovey doveyness that these four can't help but engage in.
The squeal of the girls pulls me from my thoughts. Turning as Eli and Ty make their way through the crowd and not far behind them is Drew. Holding my breath, I wait for Xander to appear and after a few agonizing seconds I realize he's not coming. Exhaling, I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed that he’s not here. I could shout from the rooftops all day that I never want to see him again, but it would be a lie. I’d give anything right now to see his face, to have him see me all dressed up. Besides, I think he would love a night like this with all the decadence and glamour.
As soon as the thought floats through my head, Xander approaches from the opposite direction, and I almost swallow my tongue. His eyes are locked on me, with that sexy as fuck grin on his lips, and my heart flops around like a fish out of water. Not the feeling I thought I'd have when I saw him again. I thought there'd be anger, some residual hurt, but my body can’t lie to me. I’m excited to see him. But I have to play it cool.
Our eyes remained locked, sparks flaming between us as he stalks toward me as everyone else fades away. Stopping in front of me, his familiar scent surrounds me, grounding me to the here and now. The heat that emanates from him almost consumes me and I want to reach for him, even knowing I’ll be burned. Those eyes I’ve come to seek out in any room, sweep over my face, a broad smile lifting his lips.
“I don’t want to wake up without your beautiful face beside me again.” Those words so softly spoken send a shiver through me.
Before his lips even meet my cheek, my eyes close, relishing the feel of him again, even as I struggle to process his words. My body stiffens in a way I’d be concerned about if I weren’t here with him.
Another kiss brushes my cheek, and as I open my eyes, his arms come around my waist, pulling me into his body. I can’t resist, but instead melt into him, my body seeking his strength and power and warmth. No matter how much I fight it, I can’t deny how he makes me feel.
My mind is still reeling as he gestures to an older man and woman patiently waiting before us that I hadn’t noticed on his approach.
Looking down at me, I can't help but smile as his warm eyes tell me all the things I want to hear. But before I can say anything, he glances up again.
“Mom. Dad. This is London. The future Mrs. Grant.”
Holy shit.