Chapter 16
I t was only the beginning of March. She started work tomorrow. A new job. The position she’d flown to Arizona to apply for. Her work outfits were purchased—all discount or on sale and from her own meager savings that she’d built working for Justin.
Forty- to fifty-hour workweeks. Benefits. Cubicles. Concrete. Ugh.
Justin said a winter storm was winding down. The sheep were okay and weren’t lambing yet, but the temperature was still below zero with winds that could “shear the sheep itself.”
If she were at home, she’d curse every time she had to go outside, but there was that slight rush of adrenaline.
The thrill of getting her duties done in extreme conditions.
The end-of-the-day feeling of accomplishment and the delicious fatigue in her body from using it for what she’d been born to do.
Brigit sat on her bed and tucked the phone to her ear. She called Justin one last time before the hectic week started. Never mind that she was incredibly homesick.
“A buyer came down from Fergus Falls and grabbed the entire dining room set, even that heavy-ass hutch.” Justin had graciously offered to sell off the heavy furniture that was more her mom’s taste than anyone else’s in the family.
“Thanks. You can send the money to Mom and Dad.”
The bedroom set and living room pieces had already been sold. Only her clothing was left, and much of it she didn’t fit into anyway. It was in a size she never planned to attain again, and she’d given Justin her blessing to donate it. All of it.
“I posted the wall decor.”
“Thanks, Justin. I really mean it.”
“Hey, it keeps me busy. I need that these days.”
Yes. Her niece or nephew. Justin was uncomfortably confident that the baby was his.
According to Priya, Maisy hadn’t been seeing anyone and wasn’t the type to sleep with a guy she wasn’t in a relationship with—especially with Justin living in Moore.
The insinuation was there that Maisy’s obsession with him had made her want to be available if he ever even thought about calling her up again. And the rest was history.
“Still, you shouldn’t have to deal with my belongings too.” It was on the tip of her tongue to ask about Caleb. She only had to stop herself every five seconds.
Part of her was so damn angry with him. She wanted him to be aching and suffering as much as she was. But the other part of her wanted to know he was doing well.
“You’re my twin.” He gave a derisive laugh. “Caleb is my best friend, and you’re both doing frustratingly well at keeping me out of the middle.”
Her last request before her conversation with Caleb had been terminated was for him not to mention Mom and Dad’s situation to her brothers. They were already paying their own way in life. Brigit wanted to do something on her own. For once.
Too bad it had cost her the love of her life.
“It’s my mess,” she said. “No one’s cleaning it up but me.”
She got off the phone with him but didn’t go out to the main room.
It was almost suppertime. She’d thrown a roast in the Crock-Pot—another way she was trying to contribute while she lived here.
They could eat at any time, but then she’d witness “the looks.” The tight glances between them and thinned lips because she wasn’t laughing hard enough, or because she was listless, or because she really didn’t look forward to spending the next who knew how many years under fluorescent lights, getting two fifteens and a thirty-minute break.
Though there was nowhere else to rush off to.
She only needed to return to Moore to visit her family.
There was no sexy rancher-slash-fireman waiting for her.
Not anymore. Before, Caleb had underscored her reason for not returning.
If it had been too hard to see him before, it would be heartbreaking now.
Moore was too small, her family too tight, to not run across him.
And with the way she’d been randomly breaking down into sobs, she wouldn’t handle a run-in with him well.
She missed him.
She was so angry with him.
But…he was right. He’d waited all those years. Sure he’d dated, but he’d protected his heart and harbored enough hope to keep everyone else at a distance. But her? She’d run from one long-term relationship to another, convincing herself it was what she wanted.
A life with Caleb was what she wanted.
It was a fine mess she’d gotten herself into. Yet it wasn’t anything less than she deserved. Her parents had given so much for all their kids, but Brigit had been the most selfish. And Caleb was free to live the life he deserved.
Tears welled, but she sniffled and blinked them back. It was time for supper. She wasn’t going to be very useful at work if she cried all night.
Trudging out to the kitchen, she avoided eye contact with her parents.
Mom had just walked in and Dad was at the table, sorting through mail.
Brigit started pulling out dishes. Her gaze fell on a tray of brownies from a bakery they’d gone to last week.
The same place Brigit had lost her temper after one of her mom’s censorious remarks.
I’ve gone without for ten years. I hope the next ten I can eat without guilt.
Mom caught her looking. “You mentioned how much you liked them.”
“Thanks.” Mom had gone from food patrol to brownie pusher. I only wanted to support your efforts to be healthy. I didn’t realize you were so miserable.
At least her time in Arizona had cleared up some misunderstandings between them.
Papers rustled at the table.
“What are these checks from Justin for?” Dad asked.
“He’s selling the furniture you guys bought me.” She loaded the plates on one arm and opened the cabinet with the glasses. “Another check should be arriving soon. I guess some stuff sold today. Then he’ll work on selling the art.”
Mom frowned and padded over to Dad. Her brow furrowed as she peered at the check. “Why is it made out to us? It’s your furniture.”
“You guys bought it. I’m gonna pay you back for that and for school.”
“Brigit…” Mom sighed and scowled at the check. “Our decision to use our savings for you kids was our decision. You don’t need to pay us back.”
“I do, and I will.” She set her armload on the table.
Mom’s lips pursed. Brigit tensed, the familiar weight of Mom’s perusal on her.
Mom shifted her gaze to Dad. “Put it aside for when Brigit gets a new place, Rick.” She stalked out of the kitchen, her shoulders rigid.
It wouldn’t do to have them throw every cent back to her. “Dad, that money’s not mine.” Otherwise, she’d never prove that she could care for herself. “You guys paid for that furniture and it’s not like I want to keep it after Oliver.”
“Your mother’s right. We have this figured out.
” The look he gave her was one of the most vulnerable she’d witnessed in her tough rancher dad.
“I’ll admit to being resistant to the idea of paying for as much school for you as we did for the boys.
But I’d like to think I’ve updated with the times—and with your mom’s not inconsiderable efforts.
Three healthy kids with quality education?
Three kids with the tools to do what they want in life?
It was worth every cent. We wanted to help build your future.
It’s what parents do. We’re proud of you.
” Dad cut his attention back to the mail. The conversation was over.
Dad didn’t regret helping her through school. He was proud of her even though she could never pay him back. He wouldn’t allow it.
If they weren’t going to take something as simple as reimbursement for items they bought, how would she get them to accept part of her paychecks? And if she couldn’t, then why the hell was she in Arizona in the first place?
Three kids with the tools to do what they want in life? She had the tools. All she needed was the courage.
The chatter in the bar melted into a constant drone behind Caleb.
He slumped over the one beer he was nursing.
The Brigit story spilled out of him as Jesse and Farah listened.
It wasn’t easy sitting across from them.
A couple that wasn’t supposed to be, yet they were tighter and happier than ever.
Their wedding was scheduled for the one-year anniversary of the day the tornado had struck.
They’d asked him if he was okay with it, since that day was also the anniversary of his house being flung across the county. But he’d reassured them he’d rather have a happier time to remember on every anniversary anyway, and his new house should be underway by then.
Should be. He was settled into his new position and could handle a higher mortgage.
A meeting with the banker and the home builder was tomorrow.
He should be ecstatic. It was March. They could break ground in May and he could be in his new house in September.
But they were nothing but items to check off like he would at the grocery store.
“I…” Farah chewed on her bottom lip and considered him.
“Go ahead and say whatever you don’t want to say.” It wasn’t like he could hurt any more than he did now.
“Okay. I’m really surprised you aren’t in Arizona right now.”
Jesse nodded.
Caleb looked at them both. “I don’t want to live in fucking Arizona.”
Farah leaned across the table. “But Brigit’s in Arizona. And she wants to be with you. Which, coincidentally, has been exactly what you’ve wanted ever since I’ve known you.”
That was a long time. No one knew better than him. “She doesn’t want me after what I said.”
Jesse snorted. “It’s called forgiveness. I’m living proof of how forgiving the Walkers can be. Seriously, though. Why did you stay here?”
“I just told you. I’m done being an afterthought for the women in my life.” He glanced at Farah. “Present company excluded.”
“I didn’t give birth to you and I’m not the one you’ve wanted for forever.” She shook her head. “Can you really move on and be happy on your ranch? Going to work every day? Finding someone else?” She cocked a light brow at him.