Chapter 35 Mateo
MATEO
We sit awkwardly on the plane facing each other. After that kiss a couple of days ago, things got weird between us. We’re still doing our obligations, pretending that we’re a real couple, but now everything feels awkward.
It’s funny, because I could’ve sworn we still don’t like each other that much, that we’re still angry at each other, but now even the arguments have stopped. We can barely look at each other in private without getting embarrassed, which is much scarier than pretending.
I decide not to make it any weirder, and scroll on TikTok until we arrive in Spain.
I put in my earphones, then open the app, and I’m welcomed with a dog video.
Best way to open this app. My For You Page is mostly built up of racing, gym, cooking, animal videos, but sometimes it tricks me with sad ones too.
It’s cruel to show these types of videos, especially when I’m alone.
It should be studied how these videos always hit me in the face when I’m thinking about myself, my future, this whole situation with Rosa, how I wish it wasn’t so complicated… Then boom, there comes a video about a badly abused dog in a shelter. Fuck them for reading my mind.
I scroll and scroll, the earphones blocking out the outside sounds.
After another funny video, I spot myself in the next one.
I sometimes see edits of myself, and let me tell you, I’m honored.
This one starts with an interview of mine from years ago, when I had a model girlfriend, Drea.
We were together for eight months, but she chose a more famous driver and left me for him.
Well, I left her instead when I found her in our bed with him.
In the interview, they asked me about her, right after we broke up. I was lost and sad, I was shocked, because I thought she really loved me back. But as it turned out, she just used me to climb higher and bag a guy with more money.
The interviewer asked how I’m doing, and I told them honestly that I wasn’t so well. Then and there I decided that I don’t need another relationship, I was still young, still had time to find the one.
Then, the old interview fades, and the recent interview pops up from days ago, where I’m with Rosa.
I look happy and in love, which the edit also highlights.
I look…different from what I’m usually portrayed as.
I’m not one to be very kind toward people, especially not toward interviewers who don’t give a damn about our privacy and dignity and just straight up ask the most diabolical questions.
I usually speak up for myself and for others, too, if that’s what’s needed, but this Mateo, this is new. And it feels even weirder that they’re making edits of us when we’re just fake dating, and they don’t know that none of this is real.
I put my phone down with a sigh, then look over at the sleeping form of Rosa. Her expressions are softened, peaceful on the somewhat quiet plane. She’s even more beautiful like this, when she’s not frowning from anger.
I’ve thought about our situation a lot. We’ve had an undeniable connection from the first night, even in Monaco, but then I spotted her in our rival’s garage.
I might’ve overreacted that day, but the fact that she just completely ignored it, that she thought it was okay to hold back this information, is what made me so angry. It might not be a big deal for her, but it is to me.
Enzo called a couple of days ago to tell me that they hired the private investigator, so I’ll have to give him some information, and he’ll even ask some questions. I was happy to comply, of course.
And all this because a woman decided to sabotage my career. Then Rosalia just casually hangs out at the Atlas garage, not caring to tell me that she’s the team principal’s niece, and that people could think I’m dating her to leak confidential information to her.
Some people still have these conspiracy theories, but we could’ve prevented that if she had been honest with me from the start.
I felt more hurt and betrayed when I found out, but her indifference is what made me angry.
And that she still thinks it wasn’t a big deal is what makes me even angrier.
I wonder how she’d feel if the same had happened to her.
Rosa starts frowning and tossing, and I’m pulled back from my thoughts. Her face hardens, moving around in her seat. Maybe she’s having a nightmare.
“Rosa, wake up.” I gently shake her arms, trying to wake her up, but it’s no use. “Rosa, hey, wake up.”
I shake her with a little more force, but she continues to squirm around, her expression still troubled.
“Rosalia, wake up for god’s sake!” I grab both of her arms, shaking her, trying to stop her from squirming around, then finally, her eyes pop open. Her breathing is labored, and her eyes scan the area, trying to comprehend where she really is. “Shh. It was just a nightmare.”
I sit on her chair’s armrest, pulling her close to my side, rubbing her arm in a soothing way. She lets out a big sigh after her breathing returns to normal, letting her head fall on my thighs.
“Thank you,” she mutters, turning her head so she can look up at me. She smiles weakly, the sight making my heart skip a beat. I’m weak for women’s smiles, and Rosa’s is the prettiest one I’ve ever seen. Don’t tell her that, though.
“You want to talk about it?” I ask, playing with her hair, trying to distract myself from how beautiful she is.
“Well, it’s just… I had the exact one a couple of weeks ago. It’s weird.”
“Maybe it’s just stress. You’ve been through a lot lately.” God, I’m really bad at soothing people. I never know what to do or say when someone’s crying. I just continue to exist, pretending it’s no big deal.
“Could be… You remember when I sent you a text asking if you’re alive?” I nod, vaguely remembering what she’s referring to. “I sent it because I had a nightmare where you were having a seizure and blood was flowing out of your mouth. It was damn scary.”
My eyes widen, a little shocked at her words. “Did you watch a horror movie before you went to bed, or what?”
“You think it’s that? I did watch Terrifier before I went to sleep that day, but I also rewatched some Friends episodes, so I wouldn’t have a nightmare.
But I haven’t watched horror since then.
” I snort at her reply. It’s cute that she has to watch something funny and lighthearted after a horror movie to prevent nightmares.
Although it seems like it didn’t work this time.
“Then it’s just haunting you now. Infected your brain.” She laughs and playfully smacks my arm.
“Thanks. But if I survived The Nun in theaters, then I ain’t afraid of anything.” I let out a chuckle, whipping my head up when I hear the stewardess clear her throat.
“We’re preparing for landing. Please return to your seat, sir, and put your seat belt on. Thank you.”
I do as she says, and just when I hear the click of the belt, the plane starts to dive lower. Well, let’s see how this weekend will go.