CHAPTER 51 - ARIANNA
CHAPTER
Arianna
MY HEAD SPINS. I don’t know what to do with myself.
I alternate between fidgeting in the passenger seat, looking out of the window, shuffling my feet and staring at my phone hoping Maria calls to say she’s had a change of heart and is coming back, to sitting motionless, barely breathing - my system shutting down in self-imposed suspended animation.
The guilt is crushing. I should never have - we should never have allowed Maria to overhear anything. We should have exposed her only to the base facts of Matteo and Luca’s plans and concerns for her safety. That would have been enough, wouldn’t it?
We must be near Carnforth House now. It feels as if we’ve been driving for hours. It’s the middle of the night, and I’m so tired I can’t think straight, but I need to think carefully and clearly if I’m to succeed in what I’m going here for: to kill my brother and Luca Bristoni.
My heart pumps harder; my lungs so tight I can barely draw breath.
I’m on my way to kill two people. It’s what I’ve dreamed of doing since the moment I realized I wasn’t in a car with Cal Bennett the night of the bomb hoax.
Killing them is what kept me going during the long, torturous, drugged days I spent as their captive.
Killing them has remained my priority and dearest wish since Red got me away from them.
The need to execute my brother and Luca Bristoni only increased during the days I spent sick with fear that I might be carrying Luca’s child, until my brain allowed me the thankful return of memory which proved otherwise.
But executing them remains a priority because it’s what they intended and what they’ll succeed in doing if I, or anyone else ever gets taken again.
Now their death is guaranteed because they’ve got my sister.
Red’s hand moves to change gear. It deflects me, but I don’t look at him. I remain locked inside myself, alone with my hatred and at one with my burning rage and with it, keeping the power within me strong enough and primed high to cross the line and eradicate my own flesh and blood.
Because that’s what I’ll be doing - committing the cardinal sin.
I peer through the window into the dark night, the purple tinge of the horizon hinting that dawn will be upon us before long. My teeth dig into my lower lip as a thought constantly and persistently prods against my will.
Will I be able to go through with pulling the trigger on Matteo? When push comes to shove, can I take the life of my brother?
My chin rises in defiance in the window’s reflection.
Of course I will. It has to be done and I must be the one to do it, not Red.
Red will do it - I know he will. He wants to do it. But he also knows that I need to do it. If I don’t, there’s a part deep within me that will never forgive myself, and I already have enough guilt to keep me going for eternity.
Matteo is no longer my brother. He is an evil stranger who must be stopped.
His hand must still bear damage from where Red shot him, so that’s where I’ll aim first. I’ll shoot Matteo’s fucking hand for the second time. It will lend some time to aim precisely so that when I take his life, there will be no error.
“I think this must be it.”
Red’s voice jolts me from my spiraling thoughts as we cruise slowly towards the twin pillars of a drive. The track meanders out of sight behind a brick wall, and trees outline the estate border.
I can just about make out the words on the gold plaque to the side of the right-hand pillar, which reads, “Carnforth House”.
Nausea bubbles somewhere deep in my gut. Yes, this is it.
Continuing past, we drive a further half a mile before the brick wall of the property boundary breaks off. I glance behind me. “It’s a massive place,” I whisper, my throat dry.
“Yep, looks like we’ve got a long walk.” Turning into a narrow lane slightly further down, Red reverses into an overgrown layby obscured by overhanging trees. He turns to me, his face half-lit with moonlight. “Are you ready?”
Nodding, I get out of the car and follow him through long grass and bracken. I say nothing. What is there to say?
I’m focused only on getting Maria out of there and ensuring my brother and his freak sidekick never touch anyone ever again.
That is my only remit, and I just have to pray I’m successful.