NATASHA
Bear is such an effortlessly handsome man. As soon as I see him standing on the sidewalk in his dark denim jeans, black T-shirt, and leather vest, I can’t wait to get my hands on him.
The longer I’m back in Banta City, the more I feel like the old Natasha. That’s why I’m dying to return to my charity work and hang out with my friends. And the old Natasha never wanted a man like she did Bear.
Once I get a taste of his lips and enjoy his arms around me, I don’t want to leave his lap. Fortunately, Siobhan acts as my common sense. She peels me off Bear and gets me back in my seat.
We have eyes on us. Security is spread out in a circle around our area. Whenever anyone moves toward our table, the team adjusts their stances and gets ready to pounce.
After her first set, Hunter joins us. I immediately walk around to her side of the table and hug her.
“I’m sorry,” I say, still feeling guilty about keeping her in the dark.
“You should be,” Hunter mutters and brushes her thumb across my healing lip. “I could have kept your secret.”
“You wouldn’t have.”
A little smile warms her flushed face. “No, I don’t think I would have. It kills me to think of anyone putting their hands on you like that.”
“A part of me wishes I came home sooner. But I couldn’t be why someone died.”
“You wouldn’t have been. He brought it on himself.”
Exhaling sadly, I know Hunter is right. Andrew was doomed as soon as he brought me home. However, I can’t change how I’m wired.
Andrew hitting me didn’t feel like a good enough reason for his death sentence. I kept the kids safe from him. I even maneuvered Andrew’s mom’s dog away from him when he was in a rough mood. I felt like I could go on like that for a long time. Just play house with my kids until they were old enough to leave with me. Then, Andrew wouldn’t need to die.
“You have a good heart,” Hunter says when I tear up. “You want to save people and make the world better.”
Nodding, I wipe my eyes. “There’s so much pain. People are so sad and hurting, but I can’t save them.”
Hugging me, Hunter knows I mean Ollie. I was going to help him live a long life free from the struggles of others with his problems.
I glance over my shoulder at Bear. Even with my back turned to him, I feel him watching me. Our gazes meet, and his expression shifts. Whatever he sees on my face feeds his unhappiness. He looks guilty before flipping to sullen. Bear’s hangdog expression works its magic on Hunter.
“Throw him some sugar,” she whispers to me.
Nodding, I move around the table and lean down to whisper in his ear. “We need to discuss something.”
Bear turns his head so his lips are near mine. “I won’t beg.”
I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, and laughing is the wrong move. I still giggle at the intensity of his words.
“It’s about my kids,” I say and stare into his eyes.
Bear tugs me onto his lap and mutters, “Our kids. They’re mine now, too.”
“Nope,” Siobhan says and tugs me off his lap. “Just push your chair next to his and talk like a normal couple.”
I settle into the chair she shoves next to Bear’s and smile at my friend. “You’re going to be such an obnoxiously protective mom one day when your girls start dating.”
Siobhan returns my smile. “I want my best friend and my brother to make this marriage work,” she says and pats Bear’s face. “And I feel like he’ll be smarter if you’re not rubbing up against his dick.”
Bear grunts at Siobhan who’s too busy noticing a moderately attractive man entering with his friends. They seem like financial guys, boring yet safe.
“No,” Indigo growls from his spot next to Tack. “Sit your ass down and supervise.”
“No, wait,” Golden says and stands. “Let me talk to these guys and see if one of them is suitable.”
Siobhan gives me a pout. “They ruin everything.”
Hunter frowns at Tack who shrugs. “I can’t control them. Make Bear do it. He’s like our road captain.”
Everyone turns their gazes to Bear who shakes his head. “Leave me alone,” he says and tugs my chair closer until its smashed against his. Once his arm slides around my shoulders, he forces me to see only him.
“Ignore their drama,” Bear insists. “It’s the same shit, just a different day. Now, tell me what you were going to say about our kids.”
Bear radiates a quietly aggressive energy. I don’t know why I’m startled by his mood. He’s always held himself this way. I just never had his angst directed at me.
“The kids are getting attached to the mansion,” I say, and he leans closer to hear me better in the loud bar. “They like all the space and places to hide. I’m afraid they’ll view it as their home. Then, we’ll move, and they’ll be sad.”
“So, what do you want me to do?”
“Let me fix up their future room before they come to the next scheduled dinner at your place. That way, they might not be so sad when we move.”
“Because they’ve got fancy tastes now.”
Ignoring how his back is up, I explain, “They like my family. Laszlo is also their new bestie, and he’s right down the hall. It’s a fun place for a little kid.”
“And my place isn’t fun.”
Studying his scowling face, I ask, “Why are you acting this way?”
“I feel like you want to tell me something else.”
“No, I want to snuggling in your lap and suck on your tongue, but apparently, I’m supposed to behave myself.”
Bear allows a cocky smirk before his face goes still, and a frown returns.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I want to be alone with you.”
“No fucking,” Siobhan insists from behind me.
Bear stands up, startling me with his size. I freeze as he looks around and reaches for my hand.
Siobhan stands when I do, but he shakes his head and snaps at her. “Sit down. Natasha and I need to talk alone.”
Snapping her fingers in a Z-design, she replies, “I’m the chaperone.”
Forever feisty, Siobhan doesn’t want to back down, but Indigo reaches over and tugs her back into her chair. He keeps his gaze locked on Bear the entire time. The men seem to sense what I do—Bear O’Malley is ready to rampage.
My hand squeezing his acts as a starting pistol. He immediately tugs me to the front door and then outside. Bear frowns at how security follows us. He looks ready to complain and then goes rigid. His hyper-alert gaze scans the busy road just outside the club. Now paranoid about us in the open, he tugs me back into the club.
We weave our way around tables. I wave at Siobhan and Hunter who watch us zigzagging around the bar. Finally, Bear leads us to the back hallway near the restrooms.
“I’m not doing you in a toilet stall,” I tell him.
He frowns hard at me before his face pinches. I see all his panic and rage exposed. Then, his expression returns to a more comfortable irritated one. Bear seems ready to start moving us around the bar again.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, holding both of his hands to keep him focused on me rather than scanning for threats.
“I want to be alone with you.”
“I’m sorry, but my family doesn’t trust us to be alone,” I explain and let go of his hands, so I can retrieve my phone from my purse. I show him the calendar app. “This is what they have scheduled for us. I’m bringing the kids to your house in a few days. Petra and Laszlo will join us, so it’ll be family oriented. Then, we have an engagement party to attend.”
Bear’s annoyed expression darkens. I nearly laugh at how put out he seems over the party idea.
“Oh, and then this is when we’re getting married,” I say and point at our wedding date. “Until then, I’m only allowed to see you twice a week and only in chaperoned situations.”
“I want to be alone with you,” he insists through gritted teeth.
My fingers sink into his rough beard. “Bear, we’ll be married in less than a month. I’ll live in your house. Every night, we’ll share a bed. Why are you so restless?”
“We need to get married sooner.”
I think to joke about him being sexually backed up, but he’s too agitated for teasing. Instead, my fingers stroke his jaw and tug him lower until our foreheads touch.
“It’s less than a month.”
“It’s more than enough time for something bad to happen.”
Bear’s expression turns pained before he shakes his head and backs away. Understanding his meaning, I don’t want to console him. Ollie should be alive now. Bear pulled the trigger. The biker deserves to feel guilty.
Yet, I can’t watch him suffer. I press myself along his muscled body and wrap my arms around the back of him. He tenses at first, unable to let go of the past long enough to focus on what’s happening right now.
Bear’s agitation breaks down bit by bit until he wraps his arms around me and strokes my hair. I listen as his racing heart slows to a relaxed pace.
When my gaze lifts to see him, I find Bear frowning at me.
“What were you saying about the kids?” he asks as his brain starts to see past his guilt.
“I want to bribe them with a cool room and a playset at your place, so they won’t be sad about leaving the mansion.”
“Tell me what you want done, and I’ll do it.”
My thumb caresses his lips as I lure him out of his head. “I know you don’t want to be on the spot. And all these rules feel like an insult. But it’s the only way we can be together.”
“That’s what you want, right?”
“Yes.”
“Because I didn’t really give you a choice.”
“No, you didn’t, but I’ve always wanted you.”
“Except for the two years you were gone,” he says, now playing the victim.
Shrugging, I admit, “I never stopped wanting you.”
“But you didn’t come back.”
“I couldn’t keep the kids and come back.”
“But you have them now,” Bear says, losing his temper. “You claim that’s why you stayed away, but it’s not true.”
“I couldn’t be why he died,” I reply and share his frown. “The abuse wasn’t bad enough for me to want him dead.”
Bear brushes his finger over where makeup hides my faded bruises. “Your bleeding-heart shit is why you suffer.”
“And your ease with violence is why you suffer.”
Bear looks like I’ve slapped him. He backs up into the wall and glares at me. I don’t know why he keeps bringing up Ollie if he doesn’t want to deal with what happened.
No, I guess I do understand. Bear O’Malley wants me to absolve him of his guilt. The problem is I can’t do that yet.
In my head, Ollie just died. I’ve never processed what I lost. I just shifted my grief over losing Ollie and Bear into love for the kids. Now, I’m having to face my past.
“What if you don’t like me?” I ask Bear who still glowers down at me. “Have you considered what happens if your prize doesn’t make you happy?”
“Do you want out of this arrangement?”
“No, but I wonder if you do. Is that why you won’t settle down tonight? We could be having fun and talking. This is our first real date.”
“We’re being chaperoned.”
“So what? If we had gone on a date two years ago, I’d still have security around. It’s how life will always be. My father can’t have me running around unsupervised.”
Bear shakes his head, still finding reasons to be upset.
“Do you think you have to marry me to fix what happened with Ollie?” I ask and take his hand. “Because you’d be right.”
As his expression darkens, he narrows his eyes until he looks asleep. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“You owe me, Bear. I had my heart set on loving you. Then, you killed my friend. Marrying me now makes us even. If you don’t stick to the agreement, my babies will end up with a shitty dad living who knows where. Even if you want out of the deal, you owe me this marriage.”
“Are you mental? I’m the one who bullied you into agreeing.”
“No, you brute, I always wanted you to marry me. Do you think I would have been happy if Golden or another biker took your place? Of course not. That’s why I was excited to go out tonight. But you’ve pooped all over our fun time.”
I look down the hallway to where people eat greasy food and drink overpriced alcohol. Hunter’s band will play another set soon. I wish we were back at the table with our friends, yukking it up with the gang while I casually molested Bear’s fine body.
Instead, I’m standing next to the stinky bathrooms while my sexy biker fiancé glares at me.
Suddenly, the rage disappears from his face, and he smiles. “You’re so horny for me,” Bear says, chuckling. “I sometimes forget how bad you want it.”
I consider giving him grief over laughing at my honesty. He wants me plenty, yet he plays coy and treats the entire thing like his duty rather than a gift. Lots of men would enjoy what’s between my thighs. Not only because I’m attractive when I put a little effort into my appearance, but I’m also rich, educated, and loyal.
“I’m a fucking catch, Bear O’Malley,” I say and poke his hard chest. “You best remember how lucky you’ve got it.”
His mocking grin quickly turns seductive. Bear slides his fingers behind my neck and brings me closer. Our lips meet, and I feel fireworks go off inside me.
I grip his shoulders and nearly climb him to get closer. Bear’s hands cup my ass and lift me up so my legs can wrap around his hips. He presses me against the wall and sucks possessively at my tongue. My fingers sink into his thick, brown hair. My hips roll against his.
“Don’t make us spray you with water,” Siobhan warns as she appears with Hunter.
I pop my lips free from Bear’s and smile at my friends. “He’s so handsome, you know?”
“Yeah, we know. Now, climb off the biker and get your ass back to the table,” Siobhan insists while Hunter laughs at her bossiness. “The band’s getting ready for their next set, and the crowd might not appreciate their efforts enough to applaud. Now get back to the table and support Hunter.”
Bear keeps me wrapped in his arms and frowns at Siobhan. “No.”
“You know,” Siobhan says and smiles wickedly, “if this is how you’ll behave on these chaperoned dates, I might leave the chaperoning part to Natasha’s brothers. I’m sure Leon will let you rub up against his sister next to the restrooms.”
Grumbling under his breath like a snarly bear about how he’s sick of the rules and some other stuff I can’t understand, my future husband walks back to the table with me still wrapped in his arms. People are forced to dodge my feet as we move past them. I hear one guy complain loudly when he doesn’t lean out of the way fast enough.
Golden, Indigo, and Tack stand up in unison and look ready to pounce on the man. I ought to offer a deescalating comment, but my lips are busy nibbling at Bear’s ear.
My hubby-to-be gently plops me down in my chair, drops into his own chair, and possessively wraps his arm around me. Once I can’t escape, I order another pi?a colada and imagine a day when we can freely work out all this lust between us.