Chapter 20
Out of all his transformations, this was the one Xavi felt should be least startling. But Ryn rarely responded the way he expected, and this moment was no different.
She stood on the edge of that bustling street, lips parted, gray eyes wide and almost plaintive, staring at him with her arms curled as if they still held the cat. Her pale gold hair was escaping its knot, so that wild tendrils had fallen partially into her face, adding to her startled appearance.
They stood that way for a five count before she dropped her arms, wrinkled her nose, blew her hair out of her face, and pivoted to face the street.
“Why didn’t you say you could do that before?
” she muttered, tucking her chin and turning slightly away, probably in a completely useless attempt to hide the redness of her cheeks.
That particular reaction had happened enough times now, Xavi was reasonably certain that it indicated embarrassment. But why would she be embarrassed? He was clothed, and this form was not markedly different from his natural appearance.
“I have never attempted it before,” he admitted. “But now that a diversion is no longer necessary, it seemed more advisable to blend in.”
She didn’t answer, and still didn’t look at him, so Xavi returned to the question that had prompted his transformation in the first place.
“Why did you do that?”
“Do what?” Ryn mumbled, staring at her toes.
“Why did you protect me? Why not tell them the truth about who and what I am?”
She scowled fiercely at the ground and kicked at a rock lying in the gutter. “Did you understand all of that?”
When he didn’t respond, she let out a sigh and threw up her hands.
“Look, I thought about it, all right? I realized that if this is real—not just some strange construct of the fae curse—it could be my path to returning to the university. To having my work be respected and valued. And if it isn’t real, then what would it hurt? ”
She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, as if that could somehow protect her from the consequences of that admission.
Then she turned to face Xavi, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes bravely.
“And I’m sorry for that. Sorry I even thought it.
You didn’t deserve to be betrayed that way, and I’m ashamed that I considered it even for a moment. ”
He’d once thought her fragile. Foolish. Impractical.
Annoying. There was no shortage of unflattering words.
He’d mocked her curiosity and used her passion for learning against her.
But in the end, it was Ryn—no warrior but a scholar through and through—who exemplified the true meaning of courage and loyalty.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he noted. “Why did you change your mind? Why not use me to prove that the stories you have spent your whole life pursuing are real?”
She glared at him as if he’d somehow affronted her.
“Because you aren’t just a story to me anymore,” she snapped.
“You’re… you. You’re frustrating and aloof and single-minded and so utterly loyal it puts me to shame every time I think about it.
You’ve buried your sense of humor, but I know it’s still there because you smile when you think I’m not looking.
You threw yourself into unknown perils to protect me when you had no reason to, and you don’t know the first thing about quitting.
And even when you think my notebooks and my drawings are silly, even when you’re frustrated that I put myself in danger, you don’t try to stop me because you’re not threatened by who I am.
You just let me be me, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that… ”
She turned her head. Bit her lip. “I think you might actually be my friend,” she blurted out. “And friends don’t betray each other.”
No. No, no, no.
Xavi’s immediate response to her declaration was a swell of panic so acute it nearly choked him.
He could not be a friend. Not to a bride.
Not when she was so appallingly brave and full of life.
So fearless and passionate. Not when she had enormous gray eyes that pierced to his very soul and reminded him of the person he used to be.
Because one way or another, she would be lost to him. Either she would disappear forever, or she would be bonded to the one person he cared about above all others. And if she were soul-bonded to Kel, then she and Xavi could be nothing to each other.
But despite all that, despite the fact that their current circumstances could be laid entirely at his door, despite his own regrets and the realization that any friendship between them was doomed to end in tragedy…
It felt as if she’d handed him something unimaginably precious. As if his dead and empty heart had awakened to hope after centuries of despair. All because some fragile human woman with a pocket full of books and a head full of dreams had decided to call him friend.
Pathetic. That he who had once been the king’s second-in-command, had once led armies and commanded the respect of thousands, had fallen to such depths.
And yet so far beyond his ability to resist. He could no more have looked her in the eye and told her no than he could have left Kel to die. Because no matter how fervently he cursed the fate that had brought them here, he could not truthfully deny her claim.
Friend.
When it had happened, he had no idea, but she was his friend. Whether he wanted it or not, whether he’d planned for it or not. Even if this friendship would someday shatter his heart beyond all reckoning.
“Yes.”
Ryn blinked at him. “Yes?”
His lips twisted in annoyance, but there was no escaping the truth. No hiding it either. “Unfortunately, I believe you are correct.”
For a moment, he thought she might actually cry, which seemed the wisest response. But instead she turned pink again and smiled—a small, surprised smile that she quickly hid by turning to look at the street and nodding decisively.
“All right then, friend. What now?” She looked both ways and frowned in apparent frustration. “I confess I expected the curse to whisk us away to the next part of our trial well before this. But as it has not, where do you think we ought to go from here?”
“This is your city,” he pointed out. “And I am even more lost than the average traveler, considering that it has been untold centuries since I last lived a normal life or interacted with so many other people.”
He saw her wince at that reminder.
“I’m sorry. This must be a bit alarming then. Should we find somewhere quieter?”
He shrugged. “I’m not going to claim that it’s enjoyable. It is loud. Much like a colony of wyverns, screaming and flapping over nothing. Smells like one too, but I will adapt.”
She grimaced. “It is a bit much, I know. Viali is the second largest city in all of Abreia, and it has the busiest seaport, so there are always visitors from other lands and goods flowing back and forth from the docks. I would suggest we just leave, but I don’t know whether that’s the right move, or where we would even go.
Might be better to wait here for the curse to find us.
Or maybe… maybe it’s over and we’re just stuck here. ”
No. He would know when the curse was dissolved.
“When you lived here, how did you spend your days? What did you do when you were not at the university? Where did you eat and sleep? Did you have a home or a family here?”
Ryn’s answering look was a bit shamefaced.
“It seems so foolish now, but I actually lived on the university grounds. Ate there, slept there, everything. All I wanted was to study, and so I rarely left. And Iria is not truly my home, so the food, the traditions, the culture… all are relatively strange to me.”
“Not as strange as they are to me,” Xavi reminded her, glancing around at the people bustling from place to place in such a hurry to be somewhere. Many of them laden with goods, but few carrying weapons of any kind, which suggested Ryn was right—it was a city of commerce rather than war.
And he hadn’t been lying about the smell.
The air was warm and damp and stank of animals—particularly fish—and saltwater, plus the stench that existed anywhere people gathered in large numbers.
At least in a coastal city, there would be trading ships and those who sailed them.
Sailors were often a varied lot, from many kingdoms and ports, speaking many different languages, which meant it would be easier for outsiders to go unnoticed.
Ryn squared her shoulders, nodded at no one in particular, and turned to smile at him tentatively.
“Are you hungry? I suppose that’s the one offer of hospitality I can actually make.
I do have a few coins left from when I was here last. We could find someplace to eat.
Talk about this trial and decide what we ought to do next. ”
He was, in fact, hungry. He had not needed to eat often since the onset of the curse, but the fish he’d roasted over a fire seemed ages ago now. “I accept your offer. Where does one find food in this city? Do you hunt? Fish? Or are there others who cook in exchange for coin?”
The sound of Ryn’s laugh eased an ache he had not even realized he was feeling until it was gone. “We’ll visit a tavern nearer the docks,” she told him. “They aren’t fashionable or respectable, but the food is cheap and plentiful, and no one will ask questions.”
True to her word, the establishment she chose was raucous and filled with humans of a less couth variety than those he’d experienced at the university. They were loud—laughing or shouting often—and did not shy away from casually bumping shoulders or shoving one another.
Or him, when he got too close. He nearly drew his dagger the first time, until he recalled that none of them knew him for what he was. His clothes were a bit odd, perhaps, but to the casual eye, he was just another human.
Ryn seemed unfazed by the chaos and darted through the crowd on her way to request food and beverages for both of them. She also seemed oblivious to the glances from quite a number of the men present—glances that both admired and clearly questioned what someone like her was doing in their midst.
Their blatant appreciation provoked a rather strange series of thoughts, and prompted Xavi to wonder whether Ryn was considered attractive among humans.
Among his own people, she would be considered far too short. Her hair was an acceptable color, but her skin was too pink, and her form too slender and delicate. A lack of shapeshifting magic was not unheard of, but she would be respected anyway due to her ability to dreamwalk.
But genuinely attractive?
She dropped into a seat on one side of a booth that looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned since before he and Kel were cursed, gestured to the bench opposite her, and grinned ruefully, those bright gray eyes sparkling with warmth.
“Sit, friend.”
Yes, curse it all. She was, in fact, rather… oh, cute, he supposed. In the way that kittens and newly hatched gryphons were cute—slightly dangerous, extremely fragile, and impossible to dislike.
He was about to follow her instruction to sit when a human male appeared beside him as if by some unsavory magic.
He was of equal height with Xavi’s current form, with wavy dark hair that fell just over his collar, an embroidered jacket hanging open over a white shirt, and salt-stained boots that suggested he made a living aboard a ship.
The man looked at Ryn, bowed with a flourish, and reached into one of his pockets…
Xavi had him facedown on the table before he could draw breath to speak, with the offending hand twisted behind his back, holding… not a weapon as he’d supposed, but a bright red ribbon.
“What are you about, human?” he growled in annoyance. Unfortunately, he’d forgotten that most humans did not understand the language of Dunmaren as Ryn did.
Ryn’s eyes were wide, and she was waving her hands frantically as if trying to either signal an attack or create a small breeze.
“I only wanted to give the ribbon to the lady,” the man managed to gasp out, despite his face being squished tightly against the tabletop. “For her lovely golden hair.”
Xavi pulled him up, shoved him away from Ryn, and then released him.
Unfazed, the human fixed her with a brilliant smile and held out the ribbon. “For you?”
Honestly, Xavi would have preferred a weapon. But at least this answered his question. Apparently, human men did find her attractive. Attractive enough to make fools of themselves in public places for the sake of her favor.
Ryn’s lips were pressed together with the oddest expression, but after a moment she returned his smile with a shake of her head. “I thank you, but no. Red is… apparently not my color.”
With a shrug and a grin, the man stuffed the ribbon back into his pocket. “Your loss,” he said, and disappeared into the crowd.
Xavi stared after him suspiciously until he heard Ryn calling his name.
“Xavi, you need to sit.” She pointed across the table. “Or someone in here is going to get the wrong idea and start a brawl.”
He looked down at her. “If there is likely to be violence, I can’t very well defend you if I’m sitting across from you. The table would get in the way.”
She looked at the bench. Looked back at him. Bit her lip, then seemed to come to a decision. “Then don’t sit across from me.” She scooted further in on the bench and patted the seat beside her. “Sit here if that makes you feel better.”
It wasn’t ideal. His reach would still be hampered, and it would be difficult to draw a weapon. But it was better than the alternative, so Xavi sat.
And realized his mistake only a moment later.