Chapter 9 Jenny
JENNY
After our argument, I decided to be completely and totally normal around Lucas Cross.
It’s going just as poorly as my attempt to ignore him entirely.
He’s just… magnetic. In the most insufferable, incompetent way.
No matter how hard I try to treat him like any of the other ranch hands, my eyes linger on the width of his shoulders, the bulge of his biceps, his fucking tree trunk thighs.
I do my best to hide the fiery attraction behind disdain, but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s not working very well.
He catches me staring far too often.
To be fair, I stare far too often.
That’s how we ended up in the truck together, heading to Bozeman. Me and my fucking staring problem.
I was just watching him try — and fail — to load Ernie into the trailer.
I had been planning to make a few snippy comments about his lack of expertise before leaving him to struggle.
It wasn’t supposed to turn into anything resembling a conversation, and it wasn’t supposed to end with us taking a fucking road trip, either.
But seriously, I just don’t want him fucking things up.
After all, I’ve finally got the ranch running like a well-oiled machine.
Dad’s on track with upkeep on the ranch, Mary’s doing a great job on the marketing side of things, and Wayne is handling all the legal matters.
I’m not about to let Lucas fuck all of that up just because he can’t do his job.
Client relations is the easiest part of running the ranch, although considering he can’t even load a horse in a trailer, I can’t say I’m surprised.
It’s just smarter to tag along and make sure he doesn’t ruin things.
That’s all it is, right? That’s why I’m here.
This has nothing to do with our argument, or the fact that I’ve been unable to stop thinking about it — about him — for the past week.
Nothing at all.
I refuse to admit that I feel guilty over blowing up at him like that, but maybe I went a little overboard.
I shouldn’t have gone for the throat the way I did, but it’s not like he pulled any punches either.
The only reason I can’t stop thinking about it is because I didn’t expect him to get so angry.
He never blew up at me like that when we were kids, never snapped no matter how hard I pushed him.
I was always the hothead between the two of us, but that was when I was younger.
I’ve gotten better about it these days, and it’s not often that I really let my anger get the best of me …
well, except when it comes to my family.
The arguing I do nowadays is a far cry better from the screaming and throwing things I used to do.
Dad and Wayne are probably still convinced I should go to anger management, but if they’d stop pissing me off, there’d be no need.
Those fuckers know how to push my buttons like no one else.
Well, like no one else but Lucas.
I’m a little embarrassed by how quickly he riled me up that night—during the argument. Not during anything else. I didn’t get worked up over anything else at all, not even a little.
It feels weird to bring it up, especially since I don’t particularly intend to apologize for anything I said.
At least, not unless he wants to go first. Still, my skin is itching with the need to fill the silence between us in the truck.
I struggle not to say anything. Even the slightest hint of conversation is risky.
I last an hour before I break.
“You remember the road trip we took in senior year?”
That’s… not what I expected to say. I didn’t really have a plan when I opened my mouth, but I guess a trip down memory lane is a safe enough topic. I’ll just have to keep my thoughts away from how desperately in love with him I was.
Great start.
Lucas looks over at me, blue eyes narrowed in confusion.
Yeah, I don’t know either.
“When we skipped before spring break?” he asks cautiously, like he expects me to yell at him for answering my question. “What about it?”
I shrug, not really sure where I’m going with this. It just feels like it would be good to talk without arguing. I should probably stop.
“Just feels familiar,” I say, waving vaguely around the cab. “Didn’t have a horse with us that time, and your truck was beat to shit, but y’know. Kind of the same.”
The change in our relationship goes unspoken.
“My truck wasn’t that fucked up!” he defends, a slow grin spreading across his face. “And this isn’t that much better.”
His truck was absolutely that fucked up, the weather stripping crumbling and the suspension creaking threateningly with every bump we hit, but I kindly don’t point that out.
He’s not wrong about the spare truck Dad keeps being rough around the edges, though.
I hate taking it anywhere, but needs are needs, and truthfully, Dad has a lot of affection for this old thing. For some reason.
“At least we won’t slide off the road this time…” I tease, a matching grin on my face. “You know, because I’m the one driving.”
“That was totally not my fault,” Lucas says. “You were distracting me and fucking with the radio. Plus it was raining like hell.”
My eyes crinkle when I laugh, and I’m surprised at how easy it is to slip into something close to friendly banter with him. After that night in the barn, I figured we wouldn’t be able to have a civil conversation to save our lives, but it’s just as easy as it always used to be, way back when.
“Sure, blame it on me,” I say with a chuckle. “I swear you just wanted an excuse for a mud bath. Could’ve just taken me to a spa.”
We’d been absolutely filthy, coated up to our shoulders in mud and grime as we tried to dig the truck out enough to get some traction. Thank God we’d had cell service, or it would’ve been truly filthy.
“Nah, just wanted a workout after those burgers,” he jokes back. “You think that place is still open?”
“The diner? It was barely standing when we went back then. It’s probably been demolished by now. At least, I hope it has.”
Lucas snorts along with me, easy as it always was. “I’d say we should go check, but our dads were pissed enough about having to dig us out the first time. Probably not a good idea to tempt fate, especially now that Everett would be the only one coming to the rescue.”
The casual reminder that Al isn’t around anymore hits me like a punch to the throat, and my laughter sputters out halfway through. Lucas doesn’t sound upset, just… wistful, maybe? Like he’s come to terms with the fact that his dad is gone, but still wishes he had more time.
It’s a sobering thought, and we fall back into silence for a bit.
Memory lane doesn’t seem to be done with either of us, though, and we wind up babbling through old stories in between stretches of silence as the drive drags on.
We both carefully avoid the topic of our relationship, but that makes me want to talk about it even more.
The more we talk, the more I remember how good we were together.
He always knew how to make me laugh, and that hasn’t changed at all.
We may have been dating, and I may have been in love with him, but first and foremost, we were friends.
It makes me wish, just a little, that I could have that again.
I know it can’t happen, that I could never handle it with how much heartache I still carry, but it’s a nice thought.
Even though the drive definitely isn’t as bad as I expected it to be — in fact, if I’m honest with myself, it’s actually surprisingly enjoyable — I’m still glad when we finally make it to Bozeman.
Traffic gets worse the closer we get to the rodeo house, but thankfully, we manage to get into the back lot without incident.
Even better, I only cuss out two other drivers.
“Forgot the mouth on you,” Lucas says with a laugh as I park by the spot we’ll meet our client.
Heat rushes through me at his words, even though I know that’s not what he means.
“Sometimes cursing is necessary to make your point,” I say with a roll of my eyes, firmly ignoring the desire to show him what else my mouth can do.
“Pretty sure you made it,” he teases.
I scoff at him and turn the truck off, but don’t argue. I’ll admit that I maybe went a little overboard on the threats I muttered under my breath when that guy cut in front of us, but the windows were up. He didn’t hear any of it.
When I glance out over the crowd of people moving horses and tack around, I catch sight of Jake, already making his way toward us.
“That’s our guy, in the blue boots,” I tell Lucas as I pop the truck door open and shoot Jake an easy wave. “Go introduce yourself, I’ll get Ernie out and hand him off.”
If Lucas is going to stick around, he should get to know our clients. We’ve been working with Jake for years, and he’s a good guy. As long as Lucas doesn’t put his foot in his mouth, it’ll be good for them to get acquainted.
Lucas moves to slide out of the truck, and I pause for a second when I notice how stiff his movements are. Is his leg giving him issues?
I shake the thought off — it’s none of my business, and I’ve taken enough pot shots about his leg that I doubt asking him would do me any good.
We’ve gone this long without pissing each other off, no need to push it.
Besides, it’s probably just stiffness from sitting in the truck for so long.
It can’t be comfortable for someone as tall as him to be cramped like that.
Whatever. I’ve got things to do.
I send him off to meet Jake as I wander around to the trailer. Ernie is as well-adjusted as ever, calm even with all the sound and bustling movement around us. He lets me lead him out of the trailer without issue, nudging his nose against my hip when I turn to close the doors up.
“Spoiled, aren’t you?” I ask with a laugh.
I pull a mint out of my pocket and let him lap it up from my palm anyway.
“Good to see you, Jenny,” Jake says when I walk up and pass him the lead.
“You too.” I smile when he scratches over Ernie’s forelock just the way he likes. “Keep my boy out of trouble, yeah?”
“Always,” Jake promises with a grin. “I’ll see you two tomorrow night, then?”
The plan was to head back tonight and have Dad pick Ernie up on his way back tomorrow, but one glance over at Lucas is enough to convince me that’s a bad idea.
He looks impossibly more gorgeous in the setting sun, orange rays casting a golden glow over him.
His hands are tucked in his back pockets, shirt stretched tight over his chest, and an unreasonably large part of me wants to tug him into the backseat of the truck here and now.
“Yeah,” I agree, ignoring Lucas’s sharply confused look. “Meet you here at nine or so?”
Jake shrugs easily. “Should be wrapped up by then. See you, Jenny. Nice to meet you, Lucas.”
Lucas doesn’t speak until Jake walks off, and when he does, he sounds hesitant and unsure of himself.
“Thought we were supposed to head back tonight?”
“I’m tired of being in the car.” Being in the car with him, at least. I thought this would either wind up in us fighting or ignoring each other.
The idea of us getting along didn’t even cross my mind, and it makes the thought of being stuck in close quarters with him for another four hours unbearable.
“Dad won’t mind, it’ll save him a few hours on the drive back.
We’ll just get hotel rooms for the night, it’ll be fine. ”
We’ve got enough people on the ranch to keep everything running until we get back. I’ll have to email Bill to make sure he doesn’t forget anything, but they can survive for a weekend without me.
Besides, my best friend Elias lives in Bozeman, and I don’t get out here anywhere near often enough.
I’m sure he’ll make time to see me tonight if I offer to pay for our first round.
I haven’t seen him in months, and since then he’s got a new boyfriend that he gushes about constantly, so it’d be nice to catch up with him.
I’ll just leave Lucas to do whatever in his own hotel room, and then I won’t have to worry about whether I’m more inclined to kill him or kiss him.
It won’t be a problem.
“If you’re sure,” he says with a shrug. “You know of anywhere to stay around here?”
If he wasn’t with me, I’d probably just see if Elias would let me crash on the couch, but there’s a hotel not too far from here that’ll work.
“Yeah, I’ll book us rooms if you drive,” I offer, already pulling out my phone.
“Works for me.”
Thank God he’s not arguing. I could use a night to blow off some steam and forget all about my trouble with Lucas Cross.
Elias is just the person I need to see right now.