Chapter 14
LUCAS
The weekend with Jenny in Bozeman went fucking great, if I do say so myself.
The drive back? Not so much.
Sure, there were things that could have gone better on our little trip.
Punching Elias in the face wasn’t my best moment, but thankfully he decided to go easy on me and only make me pay for his urgent care visit and the pain meds they sent him home with.
While it took a hefty chunk out of my bank account, it’s the least he deserved after I decked him.
Besides, I’d much rather cough up a few hundred bucks than deal with a lawsuit for aggravated assault.
I’ve got enough on my plate as is.
I thought the tension between me and Jenny was finally off my plate—or at least was replaced with sexual tension, instead—but it’s apparently back in spades. I have no fucking clue why.
I mean, sure, I’m an idiot sometimes, but I’m not stupid.
It obviously has something to do with our breakup, since that’s what Jenny was talking about when she went cold on me again.
If she would just talk to me without making me walk through a minefield of loaded questions, maybe I’d be able to figure something out.
But all she did was ask for an apology.
She wouldn’t tell me what she was mad about, couldn’t even demand an apology from me without insulting me in the same breath.
It’s not like she’s the one who lost everything.
Jenny had damn near a full ride to her dream school, and I was just as much of a loser then as I am now.
I couldn’t hold her back, couldn’t ask her to stay or to come to Utah with me.
So instead I left her before she could leave me.
A clean break, even if the edges of my heart are still jagged from it to this day.
I didn’t even manage to get anything out of leaving.
A failed football career, an injury that’ll never quite heal, and now a dead-end job I’m not even good at in a town I swore I’d never return to.
Having Jenny around makes all of it seem so much more bearable, but with her mind games and the way she keeps going hot and cold on me, I don’t know if it’s worth the wear and tear on my psyche.
The smart thing to do would be to forget about all of it. Forget about the hotel room, our past relationship, any ridiculous notions I have of a future together. Just wipe my mind and start over with a clean slate.
The truth? Even if I could do that, I wouldn’t. Jenny’s always meant too much to me.
It feels pathetic to admit it, even to myself, but I know that I’m going to go running back to her like a puppy the second she expresses any interest in me.
At least I can be sure that she will. She’s always been a firecracker, but if I give her enough time to cool off and get over whatever’s bothering her about our past, things will sort themselves out.
Maybe we won’t fall in bed together again, but I could be content with a friendship.
I could pretend I don’t want her more than oxygen itself.
“Fucking hell, man, get it together,” I say to myself as I collapse into bed.
This is pitiful, even for me. I need to get my head out of my ass and stop fixating on Jenny. It’ll be fine. For now, I need to focus on doing my job and keeping my head above water. My debts aren’t going to go away just because I’m busy kicking my feet over my ex.
I have to be in good enough shape to work tomorrow, and after spending four hours in the truck with my leg cramping something awful, sleep is the most important thing to start with.
I don’t bother pulling my blankets up higher than my hips before settling back against my pillows, knowing I’ll toss and turn too much to be wrapped up in them.
It’s always hard to get comfortable when my leg aches like this.
Even so, the exertion of the weekend catches up to me fast, and I’m out like a light before I know it.
It feels like only moments later that I startle awake to the sound of my alarm blaring beside my head.
A harsh sigh slips between my lips as I fumble to turn it off. God forbid I get good sleep after the stress of the drive back yesterday. At least I don’t feel like shit. In fact, I feel pretty fucking good, warm and languid and—oh.
My skin tingles pleasantly, vague memories of a dream involving a lot of heat and miles of bare, tan skin still lingering at the edges of my memory. It’s fading quickly, but snippets of whispered pleas and blunt nails raking down my back leave no doubt in my mind what I was dreaming of.
Who I was dreaming of.
I’m not surprised when I shift only to find myself rock hard in my boxers, but I groan in annoyance anyway.
Jerking off to thoughts of Jenny didn’t help the first time.
It’ll help even less now, with the knowledge of exactly what she feels like falling apart on my tongue so fresh in my mind.
If anything, it’ll probably make things worse between us, if that’s even possible.
But, well, I’m only a man.
A man with twenty minutes before I really need to be out the door. With how hard I am, I doubt it’ll even take me ten.
I screw my eyes shut against the weak rays of early morning sunlight, shutting out my own shame along with it, and shove my boxers down to my knees.
My hand is too rough, too dry, but I’m also too worked up to care.
The dream I woke up from is fuzzy around the edges, but it was a replay of the first night we spent together in the hotel.
Those memories aren’t fuzzy at all. The sight of Jenny like that may as well be seared on the back of my eyelids for how well I can conjure the images.
A groan slips between my lips as I circle the pad of my thumb over the tip of my cock, collecting the precum there and using it to ease the friction of my strokes.
It doesn’t feel as good as her slender fingers did, but I don’t think anything can hold a candle to the pleasure she brings me.
A primal part of me wants to sink my teeth into her skin, mark her as mine where everyone can see, where everyone will know.
I want to pin her beneath my body and not let her go until we’re both well and properly exhausted, and I want her to beg for every second of it.
The memory of her pleading for more with my face between her thighs has my cock twitching in my hand. I tip my head back in bliss as I tighten my grip, wishing there was anything I could do to mimic the way her cunt clenched around me when I first slid inside her.
Wishing more that I could replace my hand with that pussy again. Or her mouth, or her hand. Hell, even just having her eyes on me would be enough at this point.
Anything, as long as it’s Jenny.
I trap my bottom lip between my teeth and speed my hand up as memories flood through me.
The taste of her, the slick slide of her walls around me, the way she trapped me between strong thighs and held me close as she came.
I’m desperate to have her again, to have anything she’ll give me.
All I want is that whip of a tongue wrapped around my cock, pretty moans muffled by the length of me buried in her throat.
“Fuck.”
I grit the word out through my teeth as I twist my hand around the head of my cock, focusing my strokes there until my thighs shake with pleasure. Her name fills the air, a mindless chant as my gut tightens with my approaching orgasm.
It’s the thought of her riding me that does me in.
My orgasm slams into me along with the image of her bouncing on my cock, head thrown back in bliss, and I turn my face into my pillow to muffle the moan that tears free from my chest. It feels like fire in my veins, the whole world going hazy as I pant into my sheets.
Cum splatters all the way up to my collarbones as my hips jerk into my fist.
I sag into my mattress when I let myself go, every muscle in my body relaxing all at once. My mind buzzes pleasantly in the aftershocks, and I give myself a bit to get my breathing back under control before I check my phone.
Eight minutes. I’m not even surprised.
At least it gives me time to rush through a shower before I head into the barn to start my day. Maybe washing the evidence of my jerk-off session from my skin will make it easier to clear my mind and forget about Jenny, at least until the workday is over.
Yeah, I don’t believe myself either.