Chapter 10
ten
Sleep is a nonexistent little bitch.
In fact, over the past two days, it has been making me its bitch.
Apparently, my body thinks I don’t need it, because it sure as hell hasn’t shown its face in the last four hours. Sighing, I glance over at the neon red lights of the hotel alarm clock. Midnight. I have to be up in five hours. Groaning, I sling an arm over my eyes.
This sucks donkey balls.
I am still wired from today. Being back at the house I grew up in left me unsettled and with far more questions than answers. I wish Matthias was here. He would know what to do. Or at the very least, I would have someone to talk everything out with.
There is a constant ache in my chest every night when I lie awake, wishing for the warmth of his body beside me. Behind me. On top of me. What a fucking fool I am. The man was planning on divorcing me. I have his empire on a technicality.
But that doesn’t mean I can easily forget how he made me feel. How his hands played me like a violin.
Leaning my head back further, I melt into the feather softness of the pillow. Even with him gone I can feel the ghost of his touch on my skin and in every part of me. My senses are branded with the familiarity of his touch.
Letting out a small, breathy sigh, I run my hand leisurely along my body, mapping where he has been. My hips jerk as wetness pools between my thighs at the gentle touch of my fingertips I pretend are his. Every neuron singes with electricity, my body remembering what my mind wishes it could forget.
“Forget the food, Krasnyy,” he whispers in my ear as he bends me over the kitchen table.
The cool marble of the countertop sends a shiver through me as my nipples pebble even further at the juxtaposition of the cold marble and his hot mouth breathing down the side of my neck.
“The only thing I’m fucking starving for is you. ”
The hand on the back of my neck keeps me subdued as his free one glides down my back, brushing one of my ass cheeks before snaking around and gripping the soft nest of curls just above where I need him.
I jerk as he yanks on the sensitive hairs, the sensation sending a spike of wanton desire shooting through me.
“Matthias,” I plead breathily. “Please.”
“You want me to lick this cunt, baby?” he asks, his fingertips teasing my clit. I thrust my hips forward, but his fingers simply dance away. The countertop pushing into my stomach prevents me from moving any further. He is in complete control.
As always.
“You want me to make you come?” He nips at the top of my ear. My body shivers.
“Yes,” I breathe. “Matthias…”
He leaves soft kisses down the back of my neck and shoulder.
Nipping at the skin every now and again, causing me to cry out before he laves the wound with his tongue.
His hand leaves the back of my neck as he kneels behind me.
I turn my head to look but a sharp swat to my ass puts me back in position.
“Eyes forward, Ava,” he warns. “Don’t make me tie you down.” My cheeks flush and I bite my lip at the thought of being entirely at his mercy. “Oh, my kinky little slut likes that, huh?”
Shit, why is him calling me a slut so hot?
Fuck.
Matthias chuckles and drags his nose along my center, inhaling deeply. If I was not so turned on, my body thrumming, I might be embarrassed. He growls, the sound making my pussy clench, and then dives in.
Gasping, I grip the edge of the countertop when his mouth latches directly onto my already swollen clit. There is no gentleness, and he certainly isn’t taking any prisoners as he sucks and nibbles on the sensitive bundle of nerves until I am a writhing mess.
“Oh, God.” I swallow hard when his index and middle finger slip inside of me. My back bows, hips jerking back against his face, begging for more. Matthias hums his approval as I push back against his fingers.
“That’s it, Red,” he growls. “Fuck yourself on my fingers while I suck on you.”
With a loud moan, I do just that. I fuck myself wantonly on his fingers, feeling him curve them inside of me as I do so, stroking my inner walls while he tongues my clit.
He adds a third, stretching me even further.
The pain melds with the pleasure as I push back harder and faster, my moans filling the empty, cavernous kitchen.
“That’s it, baby.” He urges me forward, the wave of euphoria just beginning to crest. I am so lost to the sensation of his fingers and mouth that I barely hear his zipper.
His mouth leaves my clit, but his fingers are still working overtime.
“Now,” he breathes in my ear again. “Scream for me, little whore.”
Without preamble, he shoves himself inside of me in one long, hard thrust.
Buried to the hilt.
“Matthias.” I am lost to an endless sea of bliss as my euphoria crests. He rides me through my high. His grip on my hips bruises as he sets a brutal pace.
“Fuck,” he grits, jaw clenched. “You feel so fucking good, Red. I want another.” One arm snakes forward, and he tugs at my clit again, the nerves oversensitive.
“I can’t,” I cry. Tears track down my face at the stimulation that feels so good, but at the same time is pushing toward the edge.
“Yes, you can,” he snarls. “Be a good little slut and come for me again. Grip me tight, baby.”
One more tug and a hard, bruising slap on my ass and I am a goner. The coil in my belly snaps and I once again plummet into the depths of ecstasy like I have never known before.
I scream his name, my fist pounding on the counter as he holds me down. Wave after wave crashes over me as stars light up my vision. I have never come so hard before.
“Shit,” Matthias groans as he empties himself inside of me. He braces himself over me, panting and sweaty, his face buried in my neck. “Good girl.” I groan lightly, those two simple words causing my pussy to pulse even after the beating it has just taken.
I come down from my high, the orgasm I have just given myself nothing compared to the one in my memories.
Tears slide down the side of my face and onto the pristine white pillow beneath me.
Matthias was my first. There was a time when I hoped he would also be my last. He ruined me in all the best ways.
How is someone supposed to forget that and move on?
There will come a day I will have to. If I survive the war ahead, I will need children to secure the Dashkov line, but they won’t be his children, and I doubt any man I marry I will love as deeply as I love Matthias.
Only time will tell what the tide of fate has in store for me.
Children are the last thing on my mind when vengeance is so much closer.
Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander to the past and the security it holds. Because the future is nothing but a distant unknown.