Chapter 12
After lunch on Saturday and all of the decisions we had to make, Tracey asked me to go on a walk with her. I just pointed to her high heels she was wearing at a campsite like she was nuts. She chuckled and said it was fine and to drive around on the cart.
I was always up for that.
We talked about the progress and things being mapped out. Taylor and his guys really were putting in the work. Link and his friends as well. It was nice to see given how much I was doing too.
She had me park when we were far away and no one could accidentally overhear us. She let out a slow breath and handed me a little iPod Nano with plug-in earbuds.
“Do they still make iPods or how old is this thing?” I chuckled as I took it.
“Oh shut it, you damn zoomie,” she playfully drawled.
She turned to face me and closed my hand around the iPod.
“I want you to try this for your running list. I know you’re in a dark place, but they’re songs about being broken or beaten down and being proud of the scars instead of only seeing them. ”
She reached out like she was going to touch my hair but then dropped her hand.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“You don’t have a damn thing to apologize for, Bev. You are the most beautiful mountain none of us can become and that took weathering for you to get there. It took pain to achieve that state. I hope this helps you see the beauty in your journey instead of apologizing that you were hurt by others.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, so instead I flipped through the songs. At first I frowned, all of them at least ten years old—nothing new.
Then it hit me. This wasn’t some random playlist or one she created for me.
It was hers. This was a playlist Tracey had used to help her. I swallowed loudly and met her gaze.
She nodded, confirming what I’d figured out without saying it. “I went through a lot of dark times losing my parents. It was Henry who helped me find the way for me to process and get past the storms before I imploded.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes.
“Thank you, Sister,” I whispered. “I appreciate you not only wanting to help me, but sharing this piece of you with me.”
“I’m so glad we can now,” she rasped. “Keke helped me see that I was traumatized by you being locked in there and unable to help. That I needed to heal and accept I didn’t fail you, but it just wasn’t within my abilities.
Forgive myself for that. I thought of that playlist and listened but then realized it would help you more than me right now. I need another way.”
“You could always come running with me,” I offered to lighten the mood. Sure enough, she snorted loudly.
Tracey was a lot of things… A runner wasn’t one of them. She was a thirty minutes on the elliptical or treadmill walking on an incline woman.
“Don’t worry about me, Bev,” she said gently. “I got this, and—we need to learn from what happened with Kelton. We can’t help each other on this one, okay? We went through different things and—what you just went through was more important. I’m going to talk to Jean about going to see Henry even.”
She sighed and explained that she thought maybe she needed to say goodbye and chew him out too.
Yes, he wasn’t supposed to die—of course he wasn’t—but he should have been smarter and not have set her up to fail.
She was still furious with herself about what my former attorney Ramon pulled among other things.
She got choked up at the end and begged me to hang on so she could keep her promise to Henry even if she was pissed at him. It hurt my heart and I was pissed at Grandfather all over again.
While desperately missing him.
Wasn’t that just super complicated?
I told her whatever she needed. I just couldn’t be part of it with Jean, and Jean would want a lot for that favor, probably more than we would be willing to give. Tracey was confident, so I figured she knew something she wasn’t going to burden me with.
Fair enough. I had too much already, and I didn’t want to know more.
I wanted less, so I thanked her for sharing her playlist and iPod even if it made me want to chuckle. Sure, I could use one for the first time if that was what it took to get to know her better.
And if it helped me? Even better.
We rejoined the others and I hid her treasure in my bag so it was safe. I was worried when Gloria, Robin, Carmen, and Kate were there checking everything out. I was too raw to deal with another outburst and grilling session from them.
But apparently, someone had walked them through enough that they were fine hearing the whole story another day. All they wanted to know were the rules from my mouth so they didn’t hurt anything or disrespect my home.
I sniffled and quickly wiped my eyes. “Thanks, guys.”
“We were jerks, but we’re really not normally,” Kate promised me. “I…” She sighed and looked at Gloria.
“The shock wasn’t just shock but like we thought we were such losers that others knew about normal places to harvest and charge up and we were so out of the loop, so behind that we panicked,” Gloria explained.
“Like clawing panic that we were living dangerously and guppies and in trouble and we shouldn’t be that much in the dark at our age. ”
That made a lot more sense.
“Or if it was because you came from a top-tier family and some of it was misplaced outrage how unfair life could be too,” Robin admitted, looking mortified.
Yeah, fair enough.
I took it all in as they set down their stuff plus put the drinks they brought in the coolers and set the veggie tray by the food.
I thanked them and smiled at how nice it was.
They didn’t have money, but it was clear they wanted to contribute.
It was homemade, not store-bought, so they’d done it together in the dorm kitchen.
I thought that was great.
I answered them honestly that I had been locked up and couldn’t tell them if there was some place for top-tiers like that, but I’d never seen it. I couldn’t think there could be with the way people reacted to what the land was like.
“I have been to a lot of places—dozens and dozens of top-tier family estates and only one came close,” Clare commented from the next table over.
It wasn’t awkward for her to be there or like we were excluding her.
She had blueprints and plans laid all out with Jasmine.
“And Father was… You know. Grandmother too. That family—it was their thing.”
“Which family?” Jasmine asked.
Clare frowned. “I can’t remember. I’d have to think.” She glanced at me. “I’ll try and find a way to get Grandmother to tell me without acting like I care.”
“Good reason to still have contact with her. She does know where all the bodies are buried and tons of knowledge. That will keep us a step ahead.” I was glad I said it when she gave me a grateful look like I was trying to understand her or at least give her an excuse for what she needed.
Yeah, I was trying my best.
She was for me after all.
I nibbled on more food that Winter kept setting in front of us while sipping more drinks they wanted me to try while explaining how the land… Was the way it was? I didn’t go into where it started, but more what I knew worked and what was needed.
“You need like a fucking admin,” Gloria muttered as she rubbed her forehead. “Like right now. Just hearing all of that is exhausting.”
“We’re working on it,” I promised.
“Yeah, but this person is doing this and that person is doing that or all these people are helping when they can and—” she argued.
“We’re working on it,” Winter interjected, pointing between himself and several of his friends. He gave me a kind smile. “That was what I was saying about reaching out to people we know and the state of things being worse than we thought.”
“Other orphans,” Robin muttered, catching something I missed.
And it wasn’t because I’d now had several drinks.
I listened as the guys talked about the situation for people they’d known from different orphanages or from school.
Things were definitely worse, and it wasn’t only the top-tier families who preyed on them, others seeing the potential in the plan.
One was magically gifted and threatened by physically keeping their familiar hostage.
What could they do? Go to the corrupt police?
So now they were making a list and trying to find more people we could help get out of bad places.
“Look, hold up,” Gloria cut in. “I get where your head is and they’ll be loyal to her for saving their asses.
” She gave Winter and his friends a hard look.
“But she is a huge target and you’re talking about bringing other targets here.
You just made this place—this place people now know about and will target and find out about this magic—all the more appealing. ”
“Not here,” Winter clarified. “The huge parcel she bought that part of the council is going to invest in.”
“And yes, they’ll be loyal, but you’re also forgetting they were targeted because they were powerful,” Danny added.
“That’s a lot of power when Taylor and his people are good but lack the magic right now.
We need that magic on our side right now, so no more Conrads.
” He muttered an apology when I flinched.
But he wasn’t wrong. Neither side was.
“Getting them out doesn’t mean you have to hire them, little sexy,” Winter reminded me.
“Doesn’t even mean you have to be involved.
I talked with Link and his guys are in off hours and keeping the proof for later.
Some of these crimes have no statute of limitations.
I agree with Taylor that it’s time to start getting people and pawns off the board. ”
Yeah, easier said than done.
“Where do we house them?” I asked, knowing I would help but like… Logistics.
“Construction companies get temp housing up in a week on big, remote sites. The military does all of the time and Taylor knows people—military contractors that don’t ask questions to get started,” Winter answered.