Chapter 20
Sergey
Bevin was struggling and I didn’t know how to help.
Well, she’d been struggling since I’d met her—validly—but this time I was at a loss on how to help her. Luckily, I’d kept my mouth shut for once and hadn’t said what was in my snarky brain.
Kevin had though, almost exactly what I’d been thinking… And Bevin was still shooting him looks of death. So I really dodged a bullet there.
I wasn’t the only one shocked at her reaction—overreaction even, but it was Clare who explained that they weren’t allowed to do things they wanted the way they wanted, and while she and Bevin were exploring how to handle their own lives and learn for themselves that support, not mocking would be appreciated.
She wasn’t wrong but it… Fine, Kevin was being a snot before coffee and when he was a guest at their house. Rita had laid into raising him better, and he didn’t get infinite passes because of what he’d been through so to pull his head out of his ass.
What was this all over?
Bevin’s daily schedule. No big, right?
Except it kind of was a point of contention. Or worry.
For me worry.
And I thought any lover would feel that way when someone they cared about—their partner—who had gone through a lot scheduled every moment of their day from six in the morning until ten at night.
Every.
Single.
Moment.
So yeah, Kevin was being a smartass, but he wasn’t wrong that she didn’t have time to shower or take a shit since it wasn’t listed. I’d thought the same but knew better than to say it.
Now I was extra glad because it had really hurt Bevin. I wasn’t sure how or why so deeply even after what Kevin had said.
And that was before shit went down with Winter.
She wouldn’t talk about it. I knew there was more to it besides whatever Winter stepped in because she mumbled something about not being allowed to run a few days and not getting a real run that day even…
Before picking up that calendar and going out to the lake.
Bubba reminded me to be patient and Bevin was struggling—had many valid reasons to struggle and it was impressive that she kept moving. The change in Bubba’s attitude towards Bevin was amazing and I knew it wasn’t simply because I was falling for Bevin. Bubba truly respected her.
Good. She was amazing and deserved that.
I was going to get her food, but then I realized she might be in the mood for something else and I wanted to talk to her. It hurt my heart when she flinched as I sat down next to her.
“It’s not stupid. I know you feel the same as Kevin,” she grumbled, giving a half shrug when I didn’t say anything but tapped my fingers on my thigh. “Bubba doesn’t keep his mouth shut as well as you do. But I guess thanks for not saying it in front of the others.”
I shot Bubba a look, but he focused out at the lake. “Mine wasn’t being a snot like Kevin. It was more concern of being too rigid and—it was a bit sarcastic, but not meanly. Just like do you even get to take a shower or your long soaks?”
Her shoulders weren’t so tense then. “Yeah, that’s fair.” She let out a cute huff and tucked some fallen hair behind her ear. “It’s just a guideline. I keep saying that and no one seems to hear me. It helps me. Why can’t people understand that?”
“I want to.” I leaned in and kissed her shoulder.
“I want to, foxy. I was hoping you could put it into Sergey for me. All I see is too restrictive and demanding on you and that scares me that it’s not healthy for you after you were locked up all your life.
I want you to feel free and able to do what you want. ”
She looked at me with such hope and kindness that my heart jumped. That one look and my body reacted.
I was so sunk and completely hers.
The sadness slowly left her pretty amethyst eyes and filled with some happiness.
“Thanks for putting your concerns into Bevin. I can put this into Sergey for you. Yeah, I can do that.” She cleared her throat in that cute, nervous Bevin way and tried to tuck some more hair behind her ear, but I didn’t even see any.
So I jumped in. “I’m hungry. I wasn’t filled in on what happened, but should you eat?”
“Probably,” she sighed. “Probably high-carb like after a long run.”
“Pizza?”
“Yeah, pizza sounds great. Oh, that place with the huge slices and all the grease from using the good cheese or whatever? That sounds amazing right now.”
“Done. Maybe some protein too from more than just cheese,” I suggested. I was glad when she agreed and wanted chicken legs. The parmesan garlic ones we’d had before. Most might want wings with pizza, but Bevin was too impatient saying there wasn’t enough meat for the fuss.
Seriously she was so fun.
“Thanks, Sergey,” she whispered when I was done putting in the order for us to pick up.
“Always.” I kissed her hair when she scooted closer. I was glad I did because she leaned her head on my shoulder and snuggled in when I put my arm around her. “Okay, I’m really listening. Help me see how this works for you instead of chains you down.”
She leaned in and kissed under my chin before pointing to Tuesday…
Which it made sense since it was Tuesday.
“Clearly, I’m not sticking to it since it’s during midterms and I didn’t even have a run for today.
But there wasn’t History of Magic I because I’d already turned in my midterm.
It’s all flexible, but I want the guidelines.
“I want the… Lines on the road? Everything is going so fast, and if I block off my time better, people stop adding to it. I’m booked.
Or something needs to be balanced. People kept just going, ‘Oh, we’ll just fit that in or change it.
’ Like where? Like… Where? I’m only one person and there are only so many fucking hours. Where do they want me to stick more?
“What should I give up? Because I’m seriously all fucking booked up with sessions, keeping my health up, learning magic I’m behind on, brushes, blankets, toys, treats, basics, and school.
It’s always and, and, and, and, but like and I’m fucking tired of it, you know?
” She huffed and pulled her legs in against mine.
“But now I can always see the picture of what I want.
“And Kevin’s extra shitty because everyone kept saying to do what I want and then they’ve been saying not to do this.
Like fucking pick. Oh yeah, schedule my shits.
Asshole.” She tapped the calendar. “It’s in pencil, so clearly I’m still working on it and the kinks out for what works for me.
But today is the perfect example of why this is awesome. ”
“Because it didn’t follow your schedule at all?” I hedged.
“Yes!” she growled. She moved her finger over lunch and the end. “This shows me how to get back on track. Do you know how hard it is to have a life that’s so tumultuous? It’s all over the place all the fucking time and it’s hard not to just stare at the wall and like process. Or just fall into it.”
I was starting to seriously understand and felt small especially when she told me now she was looking forward to doing magic making blankets because it was all about feeling comfort. And she needed to feel comfort after doing something weird again and upsetting people. Feeling upset.
“This is the first yoga class, right?” I hedged, looking at what else was on the agenda. I frowned when she flinched. “What? I thought you were looking forward to it.”
“Don’t be mad at me. I’m not sure I messed up now that Winter was so upset, but… I don’t think what I did was wrong. I’m not that dense, but now I’m doubting that.”
“No, I think you’re down on the tank and still healing,” I muttered. “I feel it. So I promise I won’t be mad because I know you didn’t do anything wrong and we can talk it out if it’s something I don’t like just like you’ve done with me.”
She sniffled and looked up at me with her eyes shining with tears. “I really needed to hear that today. Thank you, my sexy Russian.”
I swallowed a few sighs as she spilled what was going on starting with her session with Taylor and Tracey.
I fully understood why she didn’t want to come to the men she was dating because it was tricky to come to one of us or like who wouldn’t get jealous thinking she was asking for something sexually and using this as a hint.
But also, we couldn’t be objective. I was pissed the way Winter handled it but also understood given he probably walked up at the worst moment for him to blow his cool when he was pretty easy-going.
And yeah, that was clear from his reaction since he’d joined us just before she’d explained it all, obviously coming to check on her.
“Okay, first of all, I completely understand what happened in the context it did,” I told her when she was done.
We’d already picked up pizzas and brought them back, it had taken that long to tell me it all.
“I’m not defending him because that was a dick move, but I wouldn’t have been happy if I was Winter either walking up on that last part. ”
“Yeah, I’ve already seen that and get it but like…” She huffed and took a huge bite of pizza.
“He made you sound like a kid who doesn’t know better or someone who needed a babysitter more than Link could have…” I sighed. “Not taken advantage of the situation or whatever because he wouldn’t do that but pushed a topic you maybe didn’t know how to shut down.”
Bevin frowned. “Is that what you think Winter meant?”
“Yeah, like maybe—he can be a bit gossipy, and part of that is getting information for his job. Again, not defending Winter—”
“No, but seeing other sides of this would be nice,” she admitted. “And then I might need a nap like the healer warned. I don’t know what about my other stuff today, but I’m sure I need to go over this with Wyatt and Mrs. Reid.”