30. Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Roxie
I’m going to hell.
If I’m not going to hell, I’m sure as shit going to lose my job if I can’t control myself.
What the fuck is happening between us?
One kiss broke the dam, and I don’t want to hold back all my feelings. Which is bad, so very bad.
I fumble my way through the rest of his assessment, and with each movement, each documented stat, my heart sinks further and further into my chest.
“So, what’s the verdict?” he asks as I finish up the numbers and look them over one more time. Nothing’s changed; I know exactly what they say. Looking it over one more time doesn’t change its meaning.
“Uh… umm.” I swallow hard and hope I can convince this stubborn-ass man to keep me around a little longer. “Before I get into the results, I’d like to hear what your end goal is with physical therapy. I have my own goals for your injury, obviously, but what are your goals once that’s healed up?”
Am I avoiding telling him the obvious? Absolutely. But I want to hear what his goal is and see if I can find a way to make it happen .
If I can do that while he’s technically not a patient anymore, all the better.
Roxanne Grace Moore, you little hussy.
His brow furrows as I look at him. “My end goal? With physical therapy specifically or overall in life?”
“Life,” I say quickly.
“Oh. Okay. I’d like to get to a place where I can get back to the park, obviously. Get my job back, get back to my animals.”
I nod, but I’m confusing him more. It might be time for some good old-fashioned honesty.
Don’t be scared. Lay it out there for him to make his own decision about his life. If that ends up not including you or Ivy, that’s something you just need to deal with. Wouldn’t be the first time we aren’t wanted.
“Your range of motion and mobility are where I want them. As far as what your surgeon would want to see as healed completely, you’re there.” I suck in a breath. “If this were a normal assessment, I would sign off on you going back to normal activity. You stopped using your brace, and you’re building your strength the right way. You’re doing everything right. I could keep you on for maintenance, but you’re doing everything you need to be doing on your own.”
“And what if it’s not a normal assessment?” he whispers.
Does he feel it too? His morning wood I flipped out about this morning sure seemed like we’re on the same page.
Jump, Roxie. For once in your life, do something for you.
“I’d sign off on your PT so you wouldn’t be my patent anymore. I’d hope to stay in town and help you reach all your goals, but you wouldn’t legally be my patient while doing so. ”
His eyes shift between mine, looking for something. Maybe he wants to make sure I’m serious. It’s not like we’ve openly talked about our late-night cuddles or that kiss. We’ve ignored every precarious situation between the two of us—of course he’s doubting my words.
“Sign off on it.” His gravelly voice sends a shiver down my entire body.
“What?” I jolt back once his words register.
“Sign off on my PT. I don’t want to be your patient anymore.”
Dread. Ugly, gut-wrenching dread hits my gut. I read everything wrong.
“Roxie.” His fingertips trail along my jaw, lifting it so I look at him. “Sign the damn paper so we can stop pretending like we aren’t already half gone for each other. Sign the paper so I can stop holding back.”
His thumb brushes against my bottom lip, and I melt. Is this really happening?
“You still need to be careful,” I whisper with his thumb still there.
“With my leg or my heart?”
“Lennox…”
“Sign off. You have my head such a fucking mess I can barely think straight half the time.”
It’s my turn to really look at him. To look for the truth in his words. Attachments aren’t my thing, never have been, and I thought they would never be. But Lennox changed that without even trying.
I pick up my tablet, quickly type in numbers, submit the form, and write up a quick closing note. I’ll add more to it later, but I need my explanation for the expedited timeframe documented immediately. I feel the heat of his gaze the whole time. The moment I hit enter, I toss the tablet on the table and push up onto my knees. Grabbing his face with both hands, I kiss him .
It’s not just any kiss, though. Those floodgates I thought were open earlier? Yeah, they have nothing on this. This is a tsunami, a tidal wave threatening to take me under. Lennox’s hand threading through my hair, gripping it hard as our kiss deepens, is my life raft through it all.
Tongues intertwine, no hesitation and no gentleness to be found. This is months of buildup. Months of tension carefully kept in check.
And with the press of a button, all the reasons why this is a terrible idea disappear from my mind. The only thing left behind is how right this feels.
His grip on my hair starts pulling me closer to him, and I take his lead. Climbing up on his lap, I straddle him as we get impossibly close. The kiss turns sloppy and needy immediately. There’s no finesse, no sweet, tender touches. This is pure need taking over.
He rips his lips from mine before touching our foreheads together. “Sit the fuck down, Boss Lady,” he growls.
I glance down, realizing I’m hovering over his lap. Guess the PT in me never quite goes away even when I’m not thinking about it.
“Len, I don’t want to hurt you,” I murmur.
“Did you sign off on my PT? Does that mean I’m strong enough to do normal activities?” His grip tightens in my hair.
“Yes,” I whimper.
“Then sit the fuck down, Roxie. I’ve wanted you for too damn long to take anything less than all of you.” He shoves my hips down with his other hand before he pulls me back into a kiss. The hand on my hip slides around to my ass, squeezing it and kneading it with such force it’s almost painful.
I’m not sure who starts moving first, but a mutual grinding short-circuits my brain. His lips pull away from mine, making me whimper at the loss. That is until they drag across my jaw, nipping and sucking every place they touch before he makes his way to my neck. Tilting my head to the side, I moan at the dual sensation.
Holy shit, he feels phenomenal.
I’ve gotten a general idea that he was packing, but feeling it up against me is something else completely. He’s very well endowed, and my heart races when I think about how long it’s been since I’ve done this. Worry takes over before I refocus on the feeling of his lips on me. The need to be close to him consumes me. To have no space between us, including him filling me up with whatever he brings to the party.
“Holy fuck, I can’t get enough of you.” Nip. “Why did we wait so fucking long?” Suck. “Yes, God yes, keep moving like that.”
“You have quite the mouth on you,” I gasp as he sucks harder on my neck. Shit, am I going to have a hickey?
“That’s probably your fault. Must have some sort of magic in you,” he murmurs while his kisses move to the top of my barely exposed breast.
Laughter bursts from me. “Magic, huh?”
“Must be. Why else would I be losing my mind over you? Up,” he growls, gripping my shirt in his hands and dragging it up my body. I hold my arms up, letting him peel my shirt off.
“Why indeed?” I whisper.
Our eyes lock, emotion written all over his face.
“You really have no idea how damn alluring you are, do you?”
A blush heats my face. His words leave me speechless. It’s not that I don’t think I’m worthy of love and affection. I haven’t let myself even think about getting it. We’ve never stayed somewhere long enough, and it would have to be a pretty special person for me to allow them near Ivy.
“Do you want to move this to a bed?” He smirks .
“You know, I’m quite comfortable here.” I grind against his hard dick.
“Yes, you fucking are.” He lifts his hips subtly. My hands move to the hem of his shirt, but his stop me before I can move them.
He subtly shakes his head.
“Okay,” I whisper. I know he’s insecure about his scars, and I would never pressure him to move faster than he’s able to. Do I want to see his sexy-as-hell body, scars and all? Without a doubt. But I’ll wait for him.
Instead, I sit up on my knees and shove his shorts down as much as I’m able to with what little space I have.
His chuckle hits me dead in the chest, and a warmth spreads through me at the sound before I get distracted when his hips lift and press against me. He awkwardly shifts around, shoving his shorts and boxers down enough for a fucking work of art to pop free.
Jesus, do they really make them that way? Thick, a good length, with a subtle upward curve to them? It’s literal perfection.
I mean, it’s been a hell of a long time for me, but never has a dick been so utterly perfect.
“Thanks. I was born with it.” Lennox’s voice shocks the shit out of me.
“Holy fuck, I said that out loud?” I whisper, wide-eyed.
“Oh yeah, but please keep praising my cock; it’s doing wonders for my confidence.” He chuckles.
I arch an eyebrow at him. “I think the wrong head is getting confidence, but that’s okay. I can use that to my advantage.” I smirk right back at his new cockiness.
I think I’m obsessed with it.
“Okay, Boss Lady, show me what you got.” He leans back, hands interlacing behind his head .
This Lennox is everything.
I gingerly climb off his lap. Standing in front of him, I shimmy out of my leggings. Should I be more hesitant about stripping naked? Probably, but he’s already accidentally seen me naked. It feels like the anxiety is gone. I attempt to make it sexy, but let’s be real, a thirty-five-year-old mom has been out of the game too damn long to be good at this. Lennox doesn’t seem to mind, though.
Hooking my thumbs into my panties, I slide those down my legs as well, stepping out of both. Moving to my sports bra, I rack my brain trying to find a sexy way to take it off, but there really is no good way to get these fucking straitjackets off. I settle on doing it quickly and hoping my not-so-perky breasts distract him enough to not notice.
After ripping it off, I toss it at his face with a shocked laugh. My impulse control is nowhere to be seen.
“Holy shit, Rox.” Lennox’s awed whisper pulls me from my asinine thoughts. The look on his face makes me feel like the hottest woman he’s ever seen, shoving any doubts about my body away.
The moment for time-wasting is done.
I step closer, standing between his splayed-out legs. Even with his shirt on, he’s gorgeous. The strength and muscle he’s gained in the last couple of months are impressive as hell. His work ethic is just as sexy as his chiseled muscles.
I want him so fucking badly, and I was a fool to ever think I could walk away from this man.
“You make me want a lot of things.” I reach out, wrapping my hand around his dick.
“I’m in awe of you every single day, and here you are wanting me, of all people? ”
I smile as I stroke down his length, which earns me the sexiest moan I’ve ever heard. “You want me to show you what I’ve got?”
His nod is frantic as I continue stroking him leisurely. Leaning forward, I press a soft kiss to his lips before dropping to my knees and giving him what he asked for.