Chapter 7 Jacks
Jacks
It’s been two days since the girl I’ve liked since freshman year asked me to be her fake boyfriend. I’ve slowly been losing my mind. I’ve barely slept, and the worst part is that I can't tell anyone why.
Okay, well, I did tell my parents. They’re not here, so I figured they would be good options to talk this out with.
I told them my situation, how this girl I’ve always thought was beautiful asked me to fake date her to make her ex jealous.
My mom said the same thing I did—that it sounded like the start to my very own version of The Proposal featuring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, sans the green card aspect.
My dad was unsure if it was a good idea, but my mom was all for it.
Which left me in the same spot that I was in before.
How do I go into this knowing that if given the chance I would want this to be real, when I know she wants it to be fake? Maybe I should tell her the truth, but the thought of doing that scares me.
I’m such a coward. I thought I was being smooth as fuck last night, but I was just faking it until I made it.
I put on my confident persona, and it seemed to work because I made her laugh a few times.
She also told me a lot of vulnerable stuff, so that must mean that she trusts me, or else she wouldn't have shared that with me. Right?
God, my head is so confused.
Do I tell Claire about my feelings, or do I continue to hide behind them like a coward and fake it with her until it ultimately ends?
If I tell her, she’ll probably think I was a creep. If I don't tell her, then maybe as we fake date over the next few months, it’ll eventually turn real for both of us.
I definitely know which way I’m leaning, but I’m too scared to take the leap. What happens if this all blows up in our faces? What happens if people find out we’re not a real couple? What happens if Clay decides to come crawling back, and she gets back with him? Is that what she wants?
I’ll have to ask her all these questions at some point, or maybe not.
I don't fucking know. I don't want this to be fake. If it were up to me, I would've had the courage to say something to her in the first place, but the universe has decided differently. I have an opportunity to get to know Claire, and I want to know her. I want to know her favorite movies, and I want to memorize them so I can recite the words to her as we watch them. I want to know what makes her smile, laugh, and cry. God, I’m pathetic. I’m doing all of this for a girl who barely knows anything about me.
But you can change that by agreeing to her plan.
Fuck. Well, I guess there’s my answer.
I pull out the slip of paper she handed to me last night with her phone number on it, and begin to type out a message.
Grant walks into our dorm as I’m typing and sulks into his desk chair.
We have practice soon, but he’s been acting weird over these past few days.
Every time I try to ask why he scoffs out some excuse and changes the subject to something random.
Hadleigh has gotten under his skin, and it’s funny to see him all fucked up over it.
I finally type out a message, but my finger hovers over the send button for a few seconds as I overthink this decision for the thousandth time.
“Hey, G. Do me a favor,” I say as I get off my bed and over to where he sits.
“What's up?”
“Press send on this for me.”
“Why can't you do it? And whose number is this? There’s no contact name or picture…” He trails off and looks at me with a weird stare. “Jacks, is this to your dealer? Do you have a dealer? I won't be involved in any illegal activity…”
“Grant, stop. It’s to someone important. Can you just do it?” I ask him.
“Okay, but answer one question. Are you doing drugs?”
“No. Now press send for me before I ask someone else.”
“Fine.” He reaches out and clicks the button before I can stop him. “You’re welcome.”
“Thanks.” I set her name in my phone, and place it face down on my desk.
Jacks: I’m in. When do we start?
Fuck. There’s no going back now. I’m either the luckiest guy on the planet, or the stupidest. I pace in my room until I hear it ding again a few minutes later.
Claire: Great! How about Monday?
Jacks: Sounds good. Lunch in the dining hall? You know, so people can see us…
Claire: Perfect.
Jacks: Are we thinking soft or hard launch?
Claire: Oh my, okay now I’m laughing. You continue to surprise me, Jacks Moore. Looks like all those rom-coms paid off…
Jacks: Oh, for sure.
Claire: Hard launch, I think. Why not just go for it, right?
Jacks: Perfect. I’ll bring you a jersey to wear.
Jacks: I think number 86 is gonna look good on you, Canes.
Claire: Me too. I can't wait, fake boyfriend.
Jacks: Me neither, fake girlfriend.
I lock my phone and feel myself smiling like an idiot. This is good, right? I think I’m doing okay so far, but I hope this doesn't end horribly.
I’d hate to ruin something before I ever fully had it for real.