Chapter Twenty-One #3
“You have behaved appallingly for the past several days but I tell you now I will no longer stand for it,” he growled.
“You are a grown woman and my wife, and your behavior is not befitting either position. You have married a knight and the sad fact of the matter is that knights fight battles. It is not because they want to but because they must. I do not want to leave you, but I must. Because you are the most important thing in the world to me, I must do all I can to ensure your safety and in this case it meant removing you from Scotland. It is because I love you more than anything that I do this. Am I making headway into your thick skull? I do not go to war because I want to but because I have to. My heart does not go with me because it is here, with you. I will return for my heart, and for you, because both are my world. This war I fight is because I said I would and for no other reason. Is this in any way unclear?”
By this time, Cathlina was looking rather beaten. “Mathias, I….”
He cut her off. “Tell me that you love me.”
Her features softened. “Of course I love you,” she murmured. “That is why….”
He cut her off again. “I know why,” he said. “I know the reason behind everything. Now, will you please stop behaving like a spoiled child who is not getting her way in all things and start behaving like the wife of a great knight who loves her with all of his heart?”
Cathlina stared at him a moment longer before offering him a weak smile. “Are you telling me that I can never again pitch a fit, for any reason?”
“Never.”
“That is not fair. I may have good reason some time.”
“If you do, I will evaluate it at that time.”
She giggled, putting her arms around his neck.
Her small fingers caressed his dark head as she gazed into his dark green eyes.
She relished the feel of him in her arms, his life and love against her.
She couldn’t hold out against him any longer.
Her anger was gone. She could no longer maintain it because her love for him was stronger than her fear.
“I am sorry if I hurt you,” she whispered. “I did not mean to. I have no excuse except this is all so new to me. I do not want anything to interfere in our beautiful world, especially not a Scottish war. I suppose I did not know any other way to react than with fear and anger.”
He was calming now that the situation between them was easing. He could only pray that she was truly seeing reason.
“I understand,” he said softly. “But tomorrow, I ride for Edinburgh and I do not want to have to worry that you are harboring resentment towards me. It would destroy me, Cathlina.”
“I would never resent you,” she whispered. “But I do worry about you. Am I not even allowed to do that?”
“Of course you can worry. But do not take that fear out on me.”
Cathlina sighed faintly. “I will try.”
“Swear it?”
“I do,” she agreed. “I… I am very proud of you, Mathias. I am proud of you whatever you do, whether you are a smithy or a knight. I told you that once before. I meant it.”
He smiled gently, cupping her sweet face with a big hand. “I know you fell in love with a smithy but ended up with a knight,” he said. “All I ask is that you trust that I will always come home to you, Cathlina. And even when we are separated, know that my heart is with you.”
“As mine is with you,” she said, running her fingers across his lips and watching him kiss her flesh. “I do love you so, Mat. I am just so frightened for you.”
“I know,” he kissed her hand and then her forehead. “But, as I said, you must trust that I will return to you.”
“I do,” she said, closing her eyes as he hugged her close. “Please forgive me for being so cruel.”
“There is nothing to forgive,” he replied into her hair. “But I will say this, I will miss you terribly. I look forward to my return more than you do.”
She smiled, looking up at him. “Will you have me remain at Carlisle while you are away or may I return to Kirklinton?”
He tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear that was tickling him in the nose. “That is your choice,” he said. “If you wish to return to Kirklinton, I am agreeable. I am sure you want to see your family.”
“I do,” she admitted. “I miss Abechail and even Roxane. And I would like to see my parents.”
“Then you may go to Kirklinton if it makes you happy.”
Thoughts of returning home brought about more thoughts of their future and what would become of them once he returned from Scotland. “Where will we live when all of this is over?” she asked. “I would like to think on something positive while you are gone.”
He lifted his eyebrows thoughtfully. “Hopefully Westbury will be returned to me when de Beaumont’s armies are victorious,” he said. “We will be going to the Welsh Marches.”
“I have never been there,” she said. “What is it like?”
He thought on Alberbury Castle, a place he hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Very mountainous,” he said. “There are dramatic rivers and tall mountains, green hills and big valleys. I think you will like it a great deal.”
“I am sure I will,” she said, stroking his cheek. “I am looking forward to raising our children there.”
He smiled faintly. “As am I,” he agreed, kissing her soft mouth. “Many, many children.”
His words were drowned out as he slanted over her lips hungrily, feeding on the adoration and passion he felt for the woman.
All was well between them and that was all he cared about.
He could focus on the army, and Scotland, tomorrow because tonight, all he could think of was Cathlina.
He would give her every last bit of himself tonight and tuck the memories away to comfort himself with for times when he was feeling particularly lonely.
Tonight, there were only the two of them, bathing in warmth and a love that was only once told of in legend.
Tonight, it belonged to them.