Chapter 15
“Please be negative,” I beg. “Please be negative.”
This shouldn’t be happening. I’m on the pill, yet my period is eight days late. When Mama figured out that Beck and I were having sex, she drove me to the doctor’s office the very next day to get me on birth control. She said, “There’s no way you’re making me a grandma right now. It’s bad enough I have to worry about your brother and his philandering ways.” I don’t know how she knew, but I’m a terrible liar, so I didn’t even try denying it. She told me we were too young, and she didn’t like it, but she also remembered what it was like to be young and in love. If I had to be sexually active, at least it was with a boy she loved as much as her own children. I was sixteen at the time and haven’t missed a single pill since then.
I stare at the little white stick from across the bathroom. I drove two towns over immediately after school to buy a pregnancy test. I wasn’t going to risk bringing it home, so here I am, standing in the restroom at the drugstore, waiting for my results.
I take a deep breath when the timer goes off on my phone. As I approach the counter, I say one more little prayer that my whole future isn’t about to blow up in smoke. I pick up the test and immediately hone in on the pink plus sign staring back at me.
“No-no-no-no-no! This can’t be happening!”
I drop the stick when there’s a knock on the door. “Miss, are you okay in there?”
Crap, I must’ve said that too loud.
“Uh… yep. I’ll be right out.”
I wrap the white stick in toilet paper, toss it in the garbage, and wash my hands before exiting the restroom.
The gray-haired pharmacist is looking at me with concern. “Are you sure you’re okay, dear?”
I fight back tears. “Yes, thank you. I’ll be fine.”
I get to my car as fast as possible and start the ignition. Once I’m a safe distance away, I pull over on the side of the road and proceed to break down. Fat tears roll down my face uncontrollably as I calculate that I must be only four or five weeks along. What am I going to do? I’m too young. I just turned eighteen a few weeks ago! How am I going to tell Beck? My parents? Everything I thought I knew about my future is gone now. Beck and I were both accepted into NYU. We just received our letters last week. Now, instead of moving up north in the fall, I’m going to be a giant pregnant lady going into my third trimester. I can’t have a baby right now. How would we even support one?
There’s a women’s clinic about an hour away. I can ditch school and drive there tomorrow morning to discuss my options. Oh, what am I saying? I fully support a woman’s right to choose, but I can’t imagine myself doing that. Especially not with a baby that Beck and I made.
I gasp and place my hand on my stomach. “Oh my God, there’s a baby in there. I have a baby inside of me.”
As soon as I can hold back the tears to see clearly, I pull back onto the road and head straight for the ranch. I need to talk to Beck, and then we can worry about what to do together.
I spot him coming out of the machine shed as I make my way up the long drive. Instead of parking in front of the main house, I pull up beside him and push the passenger door open.
“Get in, Beck. We need to talk.”
He places his hands on the roof of my car and leans in the open door. “What’s going on, darlin’?”
I take off my sunglasses so he can see my bloodshot, tear-filled eyes. “Please just get in. We need to talk, and we can’t have this conversation here.”
He purses his lips when he gets a good look at me. “Give me a second to tell my dad I’m taking a break.”
“’Kay,” I say, sniffling.
A few moments later, Beck slides into the passenger seat and slams the door shut. “What’s going on, Pres?”
“Just hold on a sec. Not here.” I shift my car into drive and head toward the pond. My car isn’t made for off-road, so it’s a little bumpy getting there, but I manage. I park the car and immediately step out toward the dock. I can hear Beck’s footsteps behind me, but he hasn’t said a word. He’s waiting me out.
The water’s too cold to put my feet in this time of year, so I take a seat, curling my legs under me. Beck sits down next to me and wipes a stray tear from my cheek.
“Presley, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out here.”
“I’m freaking out too, Beck! How could this have happened?”
“How could what have happened?” His eyebrows pinch together.
I look him straight in the eye. “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widen. “Seriously?”
“Do you think I’d joke about something like this?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Holy shit, Pres. How far along?”
“About a month, I think. I just took a home pregnancy test; I haven’t seen a doctor yet.”
“But you’re on the pill.”
“Obviously, it didn’t work,” I sniff. “What are we going to do, Beck? This ruins everything.”
“Hey, look at me, Pres.” He grabs my hand. “Why does this have to be a bad thing? We have a baby on the way—that should be celebrated.”
“Are you crazy?” I jerk my hand away. “What about New York? How are we supposed to be parents, Beck? We still live with our parents. And we sure as hell can’t raise a baby in a dorm room.”
Beck grabs my hand back. “Presley, take a deep breath and just listen, okay?”
I take a few calming breaths. “Go ahead, Beckett. Tell me why you think this will all work out.”
“Well, I don’t have all the details ironed out since I’ve known about this for two whole minutes, but we can make this work. My dad was going to take me on full-time at the ranch after graduation. It’s a good-paying job; we can find a little place to rent until we can afford to buy.”
“You were only supposed to work full-time through the summer to get some extra cash for school.”
“That’s true, but he needs help. He was going to hire someone else come fall. Now, he doesn’t have to. I’ll be able to take care of us, Pres. All three of us. Besides that, you know damn well our parents are going to want as much time with their little grandbaby as possible, so it’s not like we’ll never have time to ourselves again.”
“What about college?”
He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “Well, obviously that’s gonna have to wait. And when we’re ready, we’ll have to take online courses for a while until we figure something out. New York’s not an option anymore, but it doesn’t mean we can’t go to a local school eventually.” He squeezes my hand. “This is going to be a good thing, Pres.”
I look up to find him smiling. “How can you say that, Beck? How are we going to tell our parents?”
“C’mere.” He pulls me into his lap, so I’m on my knees, straddling him. “We’re legal adults. This baby was conceived in love. How can that ever be a bad thing?” He places a soft kiss on my lips. “We were planning to do this one day anyway. This just bumps the timeline up.”
“Beckett, it’s not that simple. This isn’t what we planned. We’re still in high school, and I’m pregnant out of wedlock.”
He smooths some hair out of my face. “We’re graduating in two-and-a-half months, and we can get married whenever you want. We’ll make this work, Pres.”
I don’t know what else to say, so I just fall into him and let him hold me. I’m not nearly as optimistic as Beckett is about this, but if nothing else, I can find a few moments of solace in his arms.