Chapter 41
Alight breeze blows as I approach Mr. Armstrong’s grave, whipping my long hair into my face. I’ve meant to get here sooner, but his son has been keeping me busy. These last few weeks with Beckett have been amazing. We spend every possible moment together when we’re not working, and sometimes Beck will even hang out at the bar when I’m behind the counter slinging drinks. We’re not outwardly flaunting our relationship around town, but we’re also not hiding it. I’ve accepted that people will think what they’re going to think, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
We may not know all the details about each other’s lives while we were apart, but my brother was right when he said Beck and I are still the same where it counts. The events during those twelve years may have shaped us into more guarded, cautious people, but that inexplicable bond we formed at an early age is stronger than it’s ever been. Everything with Beck is just so easy. Natural. Comfortable, but not in the boring sense.
Our connection isn’t the only thing that’s stronger. Our need for one another is at a fever pitch. Maybe we’re subconsciously making up for lost time, but we can barely keep our hands off each other. In the month since Beck and I reconnected physically, he’s never failed to take my body to new heights. Sometimes we make slow, passionate love. Other times, we’re mindless and frenzied like animals. But whether he takes me soft or hard, I never once doubted my own safety or his love for me. I enjoy exploring my limits and curiosities with him, and his patience with me in that regard is extraordinary.
“Hey, Mr. Armstrong. I’m sorry for not coming sooner.” I lower myself to my knees and run my fingers over his headstone, clearing some dirt away from the letters engraved into it. “I don’t know if you’re watching over Beckett or not, but just in case, I’ll bring you up to speed. We’re together again, and I’d like to think it’s for good this time. You see, Sebastian, the man I married in New York, turned out to be a horrible person. He hurt me... many, many times until I finally had the strength to leave. Beckett’s been so patient and understanding about the whole thing. He’s showing me every day that good people do exist and that I deserve their kindness. I don’t know how I survived so many years without him. Truth is, that’s all I was doing. Surviving, I mean.
“Your son reminds me why life is worth livin’. I’m hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time. I feel loved and accepted for who I truly am, not who someone wants me to be. I wish you could be here to witness all the good he’s doing. As you know, Beck also had his share of awfulness in his life, but he’s taking that experience, and he’s doing something productive with it. Something that will help others who’ve been in similar situations. I don’t know why I was granted this second chance with him, but I promise you, I will never make your son regret it. I will love him with my whole heart and soul.
“He asked if I wanted to teach riding lessons again. I haven’t started yet. I’m still gettin’ to know the new horses, learning their temperaments, and stuff. But it feels right, you know? It feels like this is what I should’ve been doing all along. I think somehow, Beckett knew that. You probably remember, but we were always so freakishly attuned to one another, and that hasn’t changed one bit. I hate that you’re gone, but I love seeing him taking charge of everything like you used to. My father still refuses to retire completely—the stubborn goat he is—but I think he’s getting closer to that point now that he knows the ranch is in such good hands. You know, maybe one day Beck and I will be running the place together.
“Clayton still helps out here and there, but he has no desire to dedicate that much time to it. Mama says since he bought the bar, he’s really been focusing on that, and she can’t fault him for it because it makes him happy. God, listen to me, just rambling on. I’m making up for lost time, I guess. I’m sorry I didn’t know about your passing until recently. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you again before you left us. But I meant what I said earlier. You can rest in peace, knowing Beckett is wholly loved and appreciated like he should be. I won’t let you down.”
I take a few moments of silence, my skin warming under the unseasonably warm temperatures. Southern Georgia usually has mild weather in the winter and fall, but almost ninety degrees at the end of October is a bit much. Maybe I got used to the colder temps up north, and I’m just not as tolerant as I used to be. Right before I get ready to say my goodbye, the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched, so I look around the cemetery to see if anyone is there. Sure enough, leaning with his booted foot propped against an old Spanish moss, Beckett is watching me have a one-sided conversation with his father. With a blush staining my cheeks, I stand up, brushing the grass away from my knees. Since it’s so warm, I went with a pair of cut-offs and a tank top today. It shows a lot more skin than I’m used to these days, but by the way Beckett’s eyes darken as he watches my approach, I’d say he approves.
“Hey, you.”
He kicks off from the tree and pulls me into a hug. He doesn’t say anything for a good minute; he just holds me and nuzzles his nose into my neck. “Hey. How long have you been here?”
“Twenty minutes, maybe. How long have you been here?”
“Just a few.”
I look over toward the parking lot, wondering why I didn’t hear the familiar roar of his truck engine as he drove up. “Where’s your truck?”
“Parked along the road.” Beck jerks his head toward the gates. “I was making a supply run, so I have the trailer hooked up to it.”
Ah, that explains it. This is a fairly large cemetery, but the parking lot is tiny—it only has ten spots in two rows of five. There’s no way Beck’s truck would’ve had room to maneuver with a trailer hitched to it.
“I’m guessing you came here to visit your dad?”
Beck nods. “Yeah. It’s been a while.”
I shift on my feet. “Well, I won’t keep you. I have to get back anyway because I’m working with Clay tonight. I’ll see you later?”
He wraps his strong arms around me again and kisses my cheek. “Thanks for comin’ here, Pres. It means a lot.”
I trace my finger down his jaw. “You don’t need to thank me, Beckett. I’m happy to do it. I’m just sorry it took me so long.”
Beck brushes some damp hair away from the side of my face. “I love you, Presley James.”
“I love you too, Beckett Armstrong.” I press up on my toes and kiss him softly on the lips. “You want me to stop by when I get home tonight?”
He nods. “Always.”
“Well, okay then, Cowboy.” I laugh when he narrows his eyes and pinches my backside. “I’ll see you tonight. By the way, I won’t complain if you’re waitin’ for me in your birthday suit.”
Now he laughs. “Well, I aim to please, darlin’.”
I make a shooing gesture. “Go talk to your dad, Beckett. I’ll see you tonight.”
I don’t turn back to check, but I can feel his eyes on me during my entire walk to the parking lot, so I put an extra sway in my hips. I hop in my new-to-me CJ7 and crank the engine. As I’m pulling out, Beckett lifts one hand in a wave, so I blow him a kiss in return right before I drive through the gates.
God, I love that man.
“Hey, Theo, has it been busy?”
Theo looks up from his spot behind the bar. “Hey, Pres. Pretty slow right now, but it’s been hoppin’ most of the night.”
“Where’s Clay?”
He jerks his head toward the hallway. “Workin’ on the books.”
“Let me go stash my purse in the back, and I’ll be right out.”
He nods in reply.
When I open the door to Clay’s office, I’m frozen in shock.
“Damn, Nicky,” my brother groans from his position at her back. “Why is your pussy my favorite? You’re an honest-to-God witch, aren’t you?”
Nicky stretches even farther over the surface of the desk, gripping the edge with her talons. “Just shut up and fuck me, Clayton. I’m not interested in your riveting conversational skills.”
I cringe as the sound of skin slapping on skin gets louder. “Oh, that’s right. You just want me for my dick.”
“And your tongue,” she pants. “As long as you’re not usin’ it to talk.”
Maybe if I wasn’t singing along to the song blasting loudly through the speakers, I would’ve noticed the noises coming from behind the door before I opened it. Maybe if Clayton and Nicky weren’t so busy screwing each other on top of his desk, they would’ve noticed me and took cover. Maybe if I wasn’t so stunned, I wouldn’t still be witnessing this shit show from the doorway. I suppose I should be thankful they’re both still mostly dressed, and behind the desk, so my view is limited, but my brother’s thrusting hips are something I could’ve gone my whole life not seeing.
I finally shake out of my stupor long enough to cover my eyes and back out of the room. “Ugh, sorry. I’m leaving.”
“What the hell?” Nicky screams right before I shut the door. “Get the hell out of here, Presley!” I hear some shuffling before she yells again. “Oh, my God, you idiot! You didn’t lock the door?”
“You didn’t give me much of a chance when you waltzed in here and shoved your bare ass in my face!” More moving around. “Where are you going? I wasn’t done.”
I startle when the door flies open, and Nicole storms out with a murderous glare on her face. “Fuck you, Clayton James! We’re so done! I don’t know what the hell I was thinkin’.” Her evil eyes flick to me. “I don’t want to hear a word, Presley.”
I plaster my back against the wall as she runs off, listening to the telltale sounds of my brother buckling his belt, cursing under his breath. Oh my God, why couldn’t I have just tucked my purse beneath the bar?
“Pres, it’s safe to come in now.”
I shake my head, but he probably can’t see me. “Nope. I’m good out here.” I can smell the sex wafting from the room, and I have no desire to go in there anytime soon.
Clayton curses again before the floorboards creak as he walks across the room. He leans against the doorjamb, scrubbing a hand down his face. When he looks up, at least he has the sense to look embarrassed.
“What’re you doin’ here?”
I give him an incredulous look. “It’s seven. I’m here for my shift. Just wanted to drop my purse in your desk drawer like I always do.”
Clay looks confused. “It’s seven already? Shit. We were goin’ at it longer than I thought.”
I scrunch my face. “Gross, Clayton. I don’t need to know that. If you want to talk about your sex life, I’m sure there are plenty of other people who’ll listen.”
His eyes widen. “You can’t say a word, Pres, not even to Beck. She doesn’t want anyone to know.”
“Yeah, I’m sure the last person she’d want to know about this is Beck.” I scoff. “What the hell were you thinkin’, Clayton? Nicky? Really? You could do so much better.”
He thunks his head against the doorframe and closes his eyes. “I’m in love with her, Presley.”
I mime unplugging my ears. “I’m sorry; there’s no way I heard you correctly.”
His periwinkle eyes flicker to mine. “Trust me, if I could turn these damn feelings off, I would’ve done it years ago, but I fucking can’t.”
“But...” I shake my head and try again. “I don’t understand, Clayton. How long has this been going on?”
He stretches his neck from side to side. “Off and on for... what? Thirteen, maybe fourteen years now?”
“What?!” My jaw drops. “How? Why? Why her, Clayton? She’s the devil incarnate!”
Clayton releases a heavy breath. “There are things about her that you don’t know, Pres. There are things about her that no one else knows. It’s not my place to tell, but let’s just say Nicky’s life isn’t what she leads people to believe. There’s a reason she’s so...”
“Unbelievably bitchy?” I helpfully supply.
He gives me a wry look. “Yeah. That.”
I lightly tap the back of my head on the wall. “God, Clayton. Of all the people.”
“I know,” he agrees. “Just please... forget you ever saw anything tonight. Okay? And don’t say a word.”
I sigh. “I’m not going to lie to Beckett, Clayton. You can’t ask me to do that. Not when we’re just getting back on track again.”
“Pres—”
I hold my hand up. “The best I can do is I won’t outwardly volunteer the information until you get your crap sorted out. But if he asks... I won’t lie.”
My brother thinks about that for a minute. “Thanks, Pres.”
I give him a good once-over, taking in his messy hair, the unevenly buttoned shirt, and the bright red lipstick smeared across his mouth. “I’m gonna get to work. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror before you come back out.” He catches my purse when I toss it to him. “Put that in your desk for me, will ya?”’
Clayton nods. “I’ll be out in a bit.”
I start walking away. “Take your time.”
Theo gives me a strange look when I return to the bar. “Everything okay back there?”
I clear my throat. “Yeah, fine. My brother and I were just having a chat, that’s all.”
Theo lifts a dark brow. “That chat didn’t have something to do with the angry woman marching out of here a few minutes ago, did it?”
“Trust me, Theo. It’s best if you just leave it be.”
“Oh, I know.” He laughs. “Doesn’t mean we’re all not curious. You’d have to be blind not to see it.”
“If that’s true, then clearly, I need to get my vision checked.”
Theo smiles. “To be fair, Presley, you haven’t been around. I’ve known Clayton most of my adult life, and whatever’s been goin’ on with those two isn’t going to resolve itself just because they keep trying to ignore it. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s probably makin’ it worse.”
Damn, could I have really been that clueless about my own brother? Theo’s right, though. I haven’t been around. Maybe if I did a better job keeping in touch while I was in New York, Clayton would’ve confided in me, but I doubt Sebastian would’ve allowed that. It’s just one of the many things I wish I could change, but I can’t. When my brother comes back out front, he implores me with his eyes to drop the subject. I decide to honor his wishes for tonight, but I’m definitely going to start being a better sister and paying attention going forward.