Chapter Fourteen #2
“I honestly love it here. Everything is so slow and at a pace you don’t find off the property.
I don’t have some place to be or something to be doing for my store.
I can simply sit back and breathe. Well, when my physical therapist hasn’t been here,” I say before giving a soft laugh as Ivy joins in because of my comments earlier.
“I’m glad. And are you getting along with your therapist?” he questions me as I take a bite of my food.
“I love her. She’s really helping me see things in a new light and realize what I was in denial of before talking to her,” I respond knowing Rex is listening to every single word I say.
“That’s really good. I’m glad to hear it,” he says as we all start talking about mundane topics while enjoying the food in front of us.
I finish first and stand from my seat before grabbing my plates.
“You can leave them there, Taleah. I don’t want you walking to the kitchen without your walker. You’ve had therapy today and I’m sure your legs are bothering you. We can take care of your dishes for you,” Roger says as Rex places his hand over them in an effort to stop me.
“Thank you,” I respond, grabbing my walker and heading for the front porch so I can watch the sunset. It’s been a very long time since I sat back and watched the sun disappear in the sky as the moon and stars come out for the night.
“You’re welcome,” I hear him say as I make my way out the front door and toward one of the rocking chairs.
Taking a seat, I move the walker out of the way as I simply look at the area surrounding me.
It’s beautiful with the trees close to the house, flat lands for the horses to roam on, and nothing but nature.
I can hear the sounds of the animals from the barn and smile to myself as I just take it all in.
The last time I sat and watched a sunset was with Rex.
We were in the back of his old truck and he just held me as the sun disappeared in a sky full of color.
It was one of the best nights in my life and happened just before everything happened.
It’s honestly one of the last good memories I have before Bhodi died.
“I remember watchin’ the sunset with you,” Rex says as he takes the seat next to me but I don’t look in his direction.
“We’re not gonna reminisce about our past, Master. We have nothing to say to one another if I’m being honest. I’m not ready to talk to you about anything yet,” I state as I look across the property toward the barn.
“You don’t call me Master, Doll. That name is for members of the club, their ol’ ladies, and people I don’t know. I’ll always be Rex to you,” he says with a cold voice so I turn and look at him.
“I’m not special to you, Master. Never have been.
Yes, I realize we have to have a conversation so we can both finally move on from our past. However, now is not the time.
I’m exhausted, sore, and ready to just sit here alone and breathe in the fresh air,” I tell him, looking away once again because it honestly hurts to be this close to the man I love and know he’ll never be mine.
“You are special to me, Doll. Always have been. We don’t have to talk about our shit right now, but it will be happening.
Sooner rather than later. You can guarantee that.
I’m not leavin’ you out here alone because I know you’ve had a long day.
I know you're independent and stubborn as hell. Let me have this. I want to help you if you can’t make it back to your room on your own,” he says without getting out of his chair and allowing the silence to fall around us.
I don’t move until the sun disappears completely and only the moon lights up the world around me.
Looking up at the sky here I can see all of the stars filling the sky and it always amazes me to see them.
When I was little, I tried to count them numerous times and failed.
The innocence of a child thinking they can count high enough or simply reach out and touch the stars despite how far away they truly are.
Rex also doesn’t move. He sits next to me and doesn’t say a word.
No one else comes outside and I have a feeling they’re getting ready for bed.
It’s not long before I start yawning and know it’s time for me to head inside for the night.
I might have taken a nap earlier, but I’m still ready for bed.
I don’t even have the energy for a bath tonight.
I can take one in the morning because I don’t have physical therapy and I don’t meet with Debbie until late morning.
Ivy already said she might not go out to meditate in the morning because Charlotte isn’t feeling the best. Standing up, I head inside with Rex following close behind me.
My legs are wobbly as I take careful steps.
When we get to my door, I don’t turn around or say anything.
I simply walk inside and close the door behind me.
Heading for bed, I only slide my sneakers off and once again slide under the blankets.
My eyes slide closed slowly and I don’t have nightmares as I dream of Rex and the life we could have had if things had been different.