Chapter Sixteen
Taleah
DEBBIE AND I made the decision that it’s time for me to leave the ranch after being here the last few weeks.
I can return to my parents’ house and work and can have sessions here with Debbie in person or over the phone if I can’t make it here for some reason.
Personally, I think I’ve made a lot of progress with myself, but there’s still work to be done.
A lot of work. I’ll do everything Debbie asks of me because she hasn’t steered me in the wrong direction yet.
She makes me question myself and dig deep for answers to questions I’ve never asked myself before.
Until coming here and starting to meet with Debbie, I never would have believed I needed therapy for any reason.
Including the situation with TJ. I would have just processed things on my own before moving on.
The reality of that decision would be that I never would have truly worked through why I allowed him to stay as long as I did and why I put up with his shit. Especially the cheating.
Today, our session was about my past relationship with Rex.
I got to talk about a lot of things I never voiced to anyone and realized just how horrible we were together.
Debbie doesn’t think it’s about the two of us, but that it was our first relationship and neither one of us knew what we were doing.
Especially him because he went from playing the field and never taking the same girl out twice, to being in a real relationship with me.
He always kept the girls at arm’s length so they didn’t get any ideas about them being more serious than what it was between them.
Somehow, I ended up in that same category with Rex and he never broke the cycle.
I simply let him get away with the shit so he had no reason to change anything.
It was a lot to take in and realize things might have been a lot different if I called him out on his shit.
Seeing him right after that therapy session fucked with my head more than I thought it would.
All of our memories were already fresh in my mind and then he was standing right there behind me.
Hearing his voice as gentle as it used to be when we were alone or he was rescuing me from some situation I managed to get myself in over the years.
Like the times he’d hold me and just let me ramble on until I couldn’t talk any longer or cry on his chest if I was having a rough day.
When Rex was actually sweet and caring instead of the asshole he showed the rest of the public.
The playboy who didn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself in a way.
Elara and I were always important to him, but only when he got to get in a fight as his way of defending us. Bhodi was the same way at times.
I’m almost done packing when there’s a knock on my door. I carefully walk over and open it to find Annistyn standing there with a puppy in her arms.
“I hear you’re going home today. Please tell me you’ll eat dinner with us before you leave,” she says, a smile on her face as the puppy reaches up and licks her chin.
“I am going home. It’s going to be good for me to be alone.
My parents are still on a business trip for another week or so.
I’ll have the time I need to process being on my own like never before.
I’ve always lived with someone and this is the first time there won’t be someone else there for me.
I’ll have to rely entirely on myself,” I answer her, avoiding talking about dinner because I’m not sure if I want to sit at a table with Rex again.
“Please eat dinner with us if it’s your last day here.
Roger went all out tonight like he usually does when one of us leaves.
He feels as if he’s losing a friend or family member.
I get how he feels. I was here for a year and felt really bad when I left.
Like I was losing part of myself. You have been here for a few weeks now and it still feels the same for him,” Annistyn says, stepping closer when her puppy tries to get to me.
I pet her while Annistyn tells me her name is Oreo and we laugh over some of Oreo’s antics.
Annistyn doesn’t say anything else about me staying for dinner, but she doesn’t leave me alone either.
She comes in my room with me while I finish packing my stuff.
The only thing I leave behind is the snacks and drinks I’ve bought over the last few weeks.
Roger assured me he’d cover the cost, but I couldn’t let him do that.
I gave him the money for everything he brought me.
“So, can I ask you a question?” Annistyn says as I zip up the duffle bag and join her on the bed.
“You can,” I respond, turning to give her my full attention.
“What’s going on with Master and you?” she asks, pure curiosity on her face as she waits for me to answer her.
“Well, that’s a long story. We have a shared past with more than just the two of us.
There were four of us at one point. I lost my brother when he drowned in a pool.
The very next night Rex, or Master as you know him, pushed me away completely.
He cheated on me at a party. I honestly don’t know if that’s the only time he cheated on me, but I’m hoping it is.
When we were together, things between us were great when we were alone or with my brother and his sister.
If we were in public or at school, he acted as if I were simply his best friend’s little sister.
I never called him out on his shit and we didn’t have a very good relationship.
Debbie seems to think it’s because it was the first one for each of us and we were both trying to navigate the change between us.
We were together almost two years and it never once changed,” I tell her a little about our past as she stares at me.
“Would you ever give him a second chance?” she questions me as Oreo tries to jump up in my lap from the floor.
“I don’t know. At this point, I don’t think I would.
There’s simply too much between us. Things he doesn’t know because I never got the chance to tell him.
When he pushed me away that night, I cut all ties.
I was mourning the loss of my brother, trying to be there for my parents, and get through my senior year of high school all at the same time.
Plus, I’m pretty sure he left for boot camp shortly after that.
It was the last time I saw him until a few weeks ago.
We’ve barely talked since then,” I tell her my honest opinion on the situation between the two of us right now.
“I get it. I don’t know Master as well as some of the other guys.
He tends to remain in his room with his computers most of the time.
What I do believe is that he did what he thought was the best when you were younger.
Even if he could have gone about things in a better way.
I won’t sit here and tell you what to do or how to live your life because you’re finding yourself and learning what you will and won’t put up with at this point.
What I will say is have the conversation the two of you need to have and go from there.
Both of you have grown up and changed in ways neither understand or know,” Annistyn says as another knock sounds on my door and I look up to see Roger standing there.
“Dinner’s ready. Are you going to join us, Taleah?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes as Oreo rushes over to him.
“I think I will. Then I’d like to get on the road because I don’t want to be out too long after we lose the sunlight.
My parents aren’t home and I want there to still be light when I get there,” I answer him as I stand from the bed and grab my walker.
It’s been a very long day and my legs are feeling slightly shaky.
The last thing I want to do is fall and get hurt or have to go back to the hospital because of an injury.
Annistyn follows behind me with Oreo in her arms again.
The seat next to Rex is once again empty as Annistyn moves around me toward the seat closest to Roger.
I have no choice but to sit next to him when I don’t want to.
Rex pulls out my chair and I hand him over the walker while sitting down.
Viper is on the other side of me again as I wait for the dishes to be passed around the table again.
It doesn’t take long before I have a full plate of food in front of me.
Tonight Roger made steak, roasted potatoes, asparagus, crescent rolls, and I see a cake on the counter for dessert.
Everything smells amazing and I can’t wait to dig into this meal.
I don’t really enjoy cooking for myself so homemade meals after tonight will be few and far between until my parents come back home.
“Tonight we celebrate Taleah leaving the ranch behind. She’s graduated from living here full-time and will only come back for her therapy sessions.
Congratulations, Taleah for putting in the hard work,” Roger says as everyone lifts their glasses in a toast and I join in while fighting back the tears.
Leaving is making me more emotional than I thought it would.
“Thank you. I love being here and will come back for anything you need in the future. Not just my therapy appointments,” I say as I cut into my steak and take the first bite.
Small talk starts up between bites of food and Ivy feeds Charlotte some of her baby food while enjoying her own meal.
She’s such a great mom and rarely asks for any help, but will accept it from those of us she trusts around her daughter.
I have a feeling she didn’t have much help from her ex and learned to do everything on her own.
Ivy is so much stronger than she believes and I hope her time here will show her just what she brings to her own life.
That she doesn’t need a man even though I have a feeling Manic will fill that role in a heartbeat.