Chapter Eighteen
Taleah
I’VE BEEN EXTREMELY busy over the last few weeks since I left the ranch.
While I love my parents and don’t have a problem staying for a short visit at their house, I don’t want to live with them permanently again.
I’m a grown adult and need my own space.
Plus, this house is full of memories I’d rather not relive.
My brother has left marks all over the house and his face is everywhere.
The pictures of us growing up haven’t been moved or changed since his death.
It’s as if every single room is a shrine to his life and a reminder that he won’t ever get to experience things I’ll be able to.
He’s missing out on a life filled with love and happiness and there are reminders of that all over the place.
I’ve spent hours over the last week alone just staring at various pictures of him and thinking about what was happening when his memory was preserved for the rest of eternity.
This is all we have left of my brother when I want him here with me in person to give me advice and get rid of TJ.
Of running him off way before things got as bad as they did.
I called the realtor I dealt with for my house and talked to her about buying a new house somewhere in Glendale.
A place no one knows about and I can truly make my own without TJ entering my sanctuary and destroying it again.
She’s excited to help me and offers to take me out in a few hours to look at a few places she knows of.
They’re almost the same as my old house and in my price range.
The range I set for myself despite having a trust fund and more money than I’ll ever spend in my lifetime.
I’ve made some wise investments and kept most of the money in accounts TJ can’t touch or it would be gone because of him.
He’s heard rumors of me having money, but has never once been able to prove anything.
It’s something that drove him insane in the past. TJ is all about the money and using me for everything I’ll give him.
Something I’ll never do again because I’m better than what he’s been giving me.
Debbie has helped me learn to only accept people in my life who add value and want to be around me for me.
Not for what I can give them. Or what they can steal from me.
Yes, I now fully realize TJ and I were in an abusive relationship.
He abused me financially, mentally, and emotionally until it turned physical that day in my store.
I’ve worked through all the reasons why I stayed with him for as long as I did.
It basically boils down to the fact that he wouldn’t leave when I tried to get him to and that he became something I was used to.
Instead of being alone, I chose to keep him around because he filled an empty spot in my life.
It’s a spot I’m slowly learning to fill on my own and understand I don’t ever have to keep toxic people surrounding me in order to have people in my life.
Until it’s time to meet my realtor, I head for Fantasy Realm so I can check on things there for a while.
Sarah has been doing amazing running the store in my absence.
Inventory has been completed, orders have been filled, and when new stock comes in, she takes care of it immediately.
The other girls look up to her and have been keeping the store running smoothly without any issues.
All I need to focus on is the paperwork side of the business it seems. I’ve brought it home with me in order to catch up and process all of the payments I need to send out to vendors.
Today is hot as hell out again and I chose to wear another skirt and tank top.
The only difference between now and the other day when I saw Rex is that I’m not wearing a suit jacket over it.
I only do that when I’m at work and have the potential to get a last minute meeting with a new vendor or when I’m waiting on the customers.
There’s a need to remain professional at all times when I’m at work for more than a few minutes.
I’ll go in and grab a cup of hot chocolate and the paperwork I need to take home with me to work on once I’m done looking at new houses.
“Good morning and welcome to Fantasy Realm,” Sarah greets me as I enter the store and head for the counter.
“Good morning, Sarah. It’s just me,” I answer her as I head for the coffee area. Today I want all of the extras in my hot chocolate. Extra whip cream and chocolate drizzle. I also want the largest cup we have so it will last me part of the way through looking at houses.
“Hey, Boss Lady. You doing okay today?” she asks me, walking out from behind the counter and making her way over to me where the coffee station is. Usually one of the employees would be making this for our customers, but it’s my shop so Sarah lets me do my thing.
“I’m doing okay. Just stopped in to grab a hot chocolate and the paperwork. I’m meeting with a realtor today to look at new houses,” I answer her, adding all the extras to the cup I’ve already poured hot chocolate into.
“That’s exciting! I always love looking at new houses.
I don’t go to them in person, but view listings online almost every day,” she says, a large smile on her face as she stands next to me with wide eyes when she realizes how much extra stuff I’m adding to my cup.
“You have a rough morning or something?”
“No. Well, I mean it’s been a rough couple of weeks if I’m being honest. So, today, I’m treating myself to this extra-large hot chocolate with all the extras that will fit in my cup.
I’m going to need it while I walk around a ton of houses until I can find something I’ll love and be able to make my own home,” I answer her as she starts to laugh with me because it’s going to be tedious walking through each house until I find the perfect one.
“Girl, if it were anyone else going through all the shit you’ve been through, they’d be a damn puddle on the floor at your feet. Now that you’ve been fully cleared, have you started your training again?” she asks me, knowing I used to train with my brother when he was still alive.
“I have. It’s really slow because I’m stiff and sore more often than not, but I’ve been working on the moves he taught me and going through the routines we worked out.
Plus, I’ve added in yoga and meditating each morning when I wake up.
It’s helping me, I think. Eventually, I think I’ll find a gym to go workout at and see if they have any kind of boxing program.
Maybe something else I can do in place of boxing.
I’m not sure if there’s one that’s close enough to Glendale,” I answer her as I finish putting my drink together and take my first sip.
My eyes slide closed as I savor the sweet taste filling my mouth before swallowing it down. “That’s really good.”
“What about Feral Fights? It’s a gym in town and run by the motorcycle club,” Sarah suggests, a dreamy look on her face as she stares off into space.
“I know where it is. I’ve passed it a hundred times when I’m out riding. I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for, Sarah. Isn’t it just a gym for the club members?” I ask her, knowing I’ve never gotten close enough to the gym to know anything about it.
“Not at all. They offer classes for everyone there. Any level of training is okay and I’ve heard the few ol’ ladies in the club go there a few times a month to train.
I’m sure they’re not the only women in the gym if club members are there to work or for their own workout.
I’ve also heard they have a ring and some of the guys do boxing.
There’s even fight nights a few times a month,” she informs me as I look from her and turn my attention so I’m looking around the store.
“I might check it out. Not sure if I want to go there for training though,” I tell her as I point out a few things I’d like changed in the store. Sarah makes notes and I know everything will be taken care of before I come back in tomorrow.
I head for my office and grab the paperwork for the last few days before leaving with my hot chocolate.
Getting in my car, I make my way to the realtor’s office so we can head to the first house she has for me to look at.
I want to stay in Glendale, but I’ve been thinking about moving away for a while.
No, I don’t want to leave Elara and the kids, but I need to do something different.
My life has become stuck in a rut and it’s something Debbie helped me notice that fact.
It’s time for me to venture out and change my life in positive ways.
Janice and I spent hours looking at various houses around Glendale.
My hot chocolate ran out after the second house and I wanted more.
Just when I was ready to give up and remain at my parents’ house, she took me to one last listing.
The house just came on the market and no one has seen it before now.
I take my time wandering through each room and fall in love with it immediately.
There’s a pool out back that’s a new installation and I can already envision myself sitting out here on my days off and sitting on the steps leading into the shallow end when it’s too hot out.
I’d love to be able to swim in the pool, but I can’t because I don’t know how.
Maybe one day I’ll learn so I can finally make Bhodi proud.
The only thing I would honestly change is adding a hot tub for the winter months when it’s too cold out and my body is sore as hell from TJ’s attack.
I know I’ll have lasting pain that lingers from the damage he inflicted on me.