Chapter Twenty
Taleah
I’VE BEEN AT the hospital with Elara and her new son since visiting hours started this morning.
I’m exhausted and ready for bed. It’s only early afternoon and yet it feels as if I’ve already been awake for almost a full day.
Moving is hard work. When I got home last night, I worked on getting the furniture exactly as I wanted it in each room and then collapsed in bed after a quick shower and pizza that was delivered while I was working.
I still have to put my bed against the wall in the bedroom, but I painted the wall before I moved any more furniture in that room.
My dresser is currently in the hallway and I didn’t sleep in there.
I took the couch and slept like a baby when I finally collapsed in the middle of the night.
It’s tedious painting and I remembered really quickly why I hate doing it.
Before I always had help from my dad but they’re still out of town and I wasn’t about to call Rex or anyone else from the club to come help me.
Count offered to help with anything I need.
The wall my bed will be on is a dark gray and the baseboards are white.
Every other wall in my room will be painted light blue so the room isn’t completely dark.
I just wanted an accent wall in this room because I’ve never had one before.
It’s something new just for me and I really like how the room turned out.
Now, I just have to finish moving in my bedroom furniture and the room will be finished.
Well, it will be once I get my clothes and other belongings from the compound.
“So, why didn’t you answer any of my calls or messages?” Elara asks me when Tim goes down to grab us some shakes from the cafeteria.
“I never got them,” I tell her, pulling out my phone and showing her everything.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I thought it was weird you weren’t calling me.
We talk every single day. I kept telling myself I’d call, but I’ve been busy packing my stuff from my parents’ house and going to buy new furniture for the house.
I don’t want a single thing TJ touched to taint the new space I’ll have,” I tell her as I hold Logan in my arms and stare down at him.
“Have Rex look at your phone. He’s talked in the past about cell phones being cloned. If that happened to you, you might have to get a new phone. Don’t do anything until he checks it out,” she says as if I talk to her brother like that these days.
“Unfortunately, I believe you’re right. He’s the only person I know who will be able to tell if someone has done something to my phone.
I don’t want to talk to him, but I might not have a choice in the matter,” I respond as Logan begins to wake up but doesn’t really cry.
He tends to whimper when he wakes up. Other than when he was first born, I have yet to hear him cry or scream.
Logan will be an easy baby if things remain the same as they are now. I envy my best friend.
I’ll be the first one to admit I love babies and always have.
I want a large family of my own. For most of my life, I always dreamed of having those babies with Rex.
I could picture him holding our little ones and treating them fairly but making sure they followed the rules we set in place.
Images of us talking about how we plan to raise our kids so we were always on the same page filled my head when I was younger.
I still want the babies now, but I’m not sure who the dad will be.
Part of me knows I’ll always want it to be Rex.
After yesterday, the images are so much more believable than ever before.
Seeing Rex holding Logan in his arms did something deep inside of me.
He’s so much larger than the baby and was so gentle with him.
I could see the hesitation and fear in his body as he stood next to me so I didn’t move very far from him.
There was also pure amazement in his eyes as he looked down at Logan.
He was in such awe of the little boy who was less than an hour old as I watched Tim snap pictures of us.
I want a couple of them for my new home because it’s another memory created with people I’ve cared about most of my life.
Yes, I still care about Rex and always will.
Regardless of what the future holds for us, I will always care for the first guy I ever loved.
It doesn’t matter if he broke my heart for his own reasons or if things between us might be able to change.
His happiness, safety, and health are all that matters to me.
If I got a call tomorrow that he was in the hospital, I’d be at his side immediately.
“I have to head out soon,” I tell Elara as Tim makes his way back in the room with our shakes and some cheeseburgers for us to have.
“What’s going on that you have to leave already? It feels as if you just got here again,” she asks me, her eyes holding nothing but curiosity as she looks up at me.
“A few of the guys from the club are gonna be bringing my things over to the new house from the compound. Your brother didn’t want to get a storage unit so he took everything from the old house there,” I answer her and know I just opened a can of worms because Elara has yet to chew me a new ass about buying a new house without telling her.
“Yeah. I didn’t know you were even looking at new houses. Next thing I know, you bought one with a cash offer. What the hell is up with that?” she questions me, her voice going a little hard and cold as she glares in my direction.
“I know. I was going to call you to go with me, but I knew you were close to going into labor and didn’t want you walking around all the properties I went to see with Janice.
The second I saw this house, I knew it was meant to be mine.
There’s a pool out back and a large enough yard I can add a hot tub for the winter when my body is sore.
The front yard is pretty big too. There’s four bedrooms in the house and I plan on turning one into my office.
I’m going to paint the walls in a few of the rooms. The kitchen was just remodeled and I love it.
All of the appliances are brand-new as well.
They came with the house and are things I’d pick out for myself.
As soon as I have everything done, you’ll have to come over and see it.
The kids can be in the pool because you can swim and I’ll enjoy the sun.
I might get in the shallow end for a bit if I’m feeling brave enough,” I tell her and hope it’s enough to make her happy that she wasn’t included in my decision to buy a new house.
This is something we’d usually talk about for hours and hours.
We’d go over all the pros and cons of the decision and then make a choice about what to do.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t talk about it to death and then have someone else help me make a final choice in the situation.
It was something I did all on my own and I’m proud of that.
“I’ll forgive you this time, Tally. I’m proud of you. You made a decision to do something and then did it. Is this something you’ve been working on with your therapist?” she asks me, loving that I’m still seeing Debbie despite not being on the ranch.
“It is. I’m trying to do more things on my own so I can realize I don’t always need someone at my side.
You have a family and a life that doesn’t always include me.
I’m single for the first time in years and I’m not ready for another relationship.
I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that shit.
TJ messed me up pretty good with all of his bullshit.
For now, I just want to focus on myself and learn to do things on my own without a long, drawn out process needing to happen before each decision I make,” I answer her and feel myself smiling as I think of all the things I plan on doing.
“That’s great, Tally. You’re finally becoming the woman I always knew you could be. Are you even close to being ready to talk to my brother yet?” she questions me, her voice going soft once more.
“I don’t know. Some days I think I’m ready to hash out everything between us and the rest of the time I feel like I’ll never be ready for that conversation,” I tell her honestly as I stand up with Logan in my arms and pass him over to my best friend.
“He’s adorable, Lar. I’ll come see you tomorrow.
Let me know if you get discharged and I’ll meet you at the house instead of coming here. Your parents still have the kids?”
“Yeah. I’m ready to go home right now. I think we’re leaving tomorrow morning though. It all depends on the doctors and what they say. One of us will call and let you know what’s going on,” she promises as I give her a hug and leave the room.
I’ve been waiting on the guys from the club for over an hour now.
It’s given me time to hook up the new washer and dryer I got so I can wash all of my clothes and bedding that’s been in boxes and bags since before the house was sold.
Count said they would be leaving within a half hour when I called him not that long ago.
This time I don’t get to listen for the bikes to approach my house because they’ll be arriving in trucks.
I hear a noise at my front door and make my way closer as it flies open and almost hits me in the face.
Count or any of the other guys from the club aren’t the ones standing there. It’s TJ.
“Surprised to see me, Tally?” he questions me with a large smile on his face as he steps in my home like he owns the place.
“Not really. I had a feeling you’d do something stupid to get released before the trial. How did you find me?” I question him already calculating when I can get the best of him. TJ beat the hell out of me once and it’s not going to happen again.