Chapter One #2
“Yes, ma’am. Owen didn’t know the first thing about agriculture, but he went because I did.” Smiling, Tyler added, “Boy, was Owen suspicious of Cash at first, especially when he offered us positions on the ranch.”
“Who got released first?” Hope asked.
“Owen by two weeks,” Tyler replied, his mouth struggling to fight off a grin. “He was hell-bent on checking the place out before I arrived. If there was something hinky going on, Owen was determined to find it.”
Hope laughed at that. “What was the backup plan if the ranch didn’t work out?”
Tyler pursed his lips as he considered the question.
“We honestly didn’t have one. Neither of us felt like we could return home, so sticking together was our only goal.
It felt like Redemption Ridge was our only option, so I was thrilled when it worked out beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve watched Owen thrive on this ranch, and I’ve learned to trust myself and others again.
” He closed his eyes as a wave of pain washed over him.
When he met Hope’s gaze again, he only saw kindness and encouragement.
“I’ve always known Owen would find someone special, and I thought I’d prepared myself for it.
Hell, I thought I’d welcome this kind of happiness for my best friend, but it hurts so bad, and I don’t know why. ”
“You don’t?” Hope probed gently.
Tyler took a deep breath, then rubbed the aching spot in the center of his chest. “No. It just feels like I’m losing so much more than a friend.”
“Like a brother?”
Tyler scrunched up his face to reject the suggestion, barely biting back an “eww, no” reaction. Instead, he replied, “I have a few of those and don’t need more.” He huffed out a harsh sigh. “This feels like losing a huge piece of myself.” The best part.
“Hmmmm. I see.”
Tyler perked up. “You do? Care to share with me?”
Hope studied him with rapt attention. “Are you really prepared to hear what I see?”
Tyler closed his eyes but kept them heavenward as if in prayer, though he wasn’t seeking guidance from the deity his family worshipped.
Tyler was too busy ignoring the little alarm bells going off in his head and bracing himself for the life-changing words Hope could deliver.
If he said yes, she wouldn’t hold back. Tyler might want clarity about what was eating him, but the truth might scare the hell out of him too.
Was ignorance bliss, or was it slowly killing something joyful inside him?
He lowered his head and met Hope’s intelligent gaze head-on. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“I’ll be gentle,” she teased.
Tyler’s laughter eased the tension in his chest, which was probably what Hope wanted.
“When I look at you,” she began, “I see a young man who’s standing at a major crossroads in his life.
One turn will take you in a familiar direction that feels safe and comfortable, if not a little dull.
The other takes you on an alternative path that is thrilling but fraught with uncertainty.
” Hope’s remarks were ambiguous enough to apply to just about anyone and any situation.
“This sounds like the time I snuck into a fortune teller’s booth at a county fair,” Tyler teased.
He’d expected to find someone his grandmother’s age wearing a shapeless kaftan and a matching head wrap.
Mistress Divine had been in her early twenties and drop-dead gorgeous.
Her dark, wavy hair hung to a tightly cinched waist. Her eyes were as dark as midnight, and she wore a deep red lipstick that drew Tyler’s attention to her full lips.
He’d been thirteen, hormonal, and completely fascinated by the swell of breasts rising out of Mistress Divine’s dark purple corset.
Hope laughed, and her eyes sparkled. “And did this fortune teller impart life-altering wisdom?”
Mistress Divine had told Tyler he was on the dawn of awareness, and he should embrace it with both hands.
He’d gotten his first erection later that night when reliving his encounter with the enchanting woman.
He’d only embraced it with one hand, but the moment was definitely life-altering.
Young Ty had floated down to breakfast the next morning with a new lease on life until his mother met him in the kitchen with a deep scowl on her face.
She’d found out about his adventure to Mistress Divine’s “ungodly” tent and grounded him for a month.
Ty had been pissed at first because it meant he only got to leave the house to help at the family’s plant nursery or go to church.
He quickly got over his anger when he realized what good fun he could get up to alone in his room and how often he could do it.
Struggling to keep the smirk off his face, Tyler said, “You could say that.”
“Sounds like she’s a hard act to follow, but I’ll do my best,” Hope said.
“Your friendship with Owen is comfortable and safe, and you’ve never challenged what you are to one another until now.
Keegan’s arrival has made you realize on some level that you want more from him.
” Tyler’s breath caught in his throat, rendering him mute while he wanted to shout for her to stop.
“But giving in to those shiny new yearnings would be scary as hell. You’d get to claim Owen in new and thrilling ways, but where would that leave your friendship?
” She cocked her head to the side and considered him through narrowed eyes as Tyler’s mouth moved, but no words escaped.
“It’s possible you haven’t acknowledged you’re in love with Owen, not even during your most private moments.
Our brains sometimes act like cages when we’re not granted the opportunity to explore and discover who we are.
I think Keegan is the key who unlocked your cage. ”
In love with Owen? No, that wasn’t it. Tyler loved him, of course.
But in love with him? No. He just wanted things to go back to where they were before Keegan arrived.
He wanted late nights in one of their cabins, listening to music, watching TV, or just talking.
Tyler missed Owen watching him with a dopey smile instead of scrutinizing Keegan for any sign of distress.
So, basically, he wanted all of Owen’s time and…
affection. Holy shit. But wait. That didn’t mean he was in love with his best friend.
Tyler’s breath escaped him in a rattling wheeze as an invisible band cinched around his chest.
“Oh dear,” Hope said. “I’ve scared the air right out of you.” She patted his chest and made soothing noises. “Breathe with me, Ty. Inhale deep and fill up your lungs with precious air.”
Ty sucked in half a lungful before he coughed.
“Come on, now,” Hope crooned. “Try again.”
Tyler expanded his lungs more fully on the second attempt.
The band loosened, but he still wasn’t getting enough oxygen.
His brain spun with words and images from both past and present.
Mistress Divine’s and Hope’s claims that he was on the cusp of awareness combined with fantasies he’d never considered.
Tyler closed his eyes so the world would stop spinning, but the darkness only invited tantalizing images to play out like scenes from a movie.
Tyler feasted his eyes on Owen’s golden skin and toned pecs.
The yearning to touch and explore shook him to the core.
The hard-earned breath he’d reclaimed whooshed out of him as if Hope sucker-punched him.
And she had, only verbally. Tyler’s eyes opened wide, and he pleaded with her to make it stop…
or make it real. He wasn’t sure what he wanted.
Tyler had never been so confused in his entire life.
“Oh no. Oh no,” Hope murmured. “I’ve really done it this time.” She cupped Tyler’s face and stared into his eyes. “I’m so sorry. Everything is going to be okay. Breathe, Tyler.”
He took one small breath, then another.
“That’s it, honey. A little deeper next time. You’re doing great,” Hope said when he complied. “Now, longer this time.” She snorted and rolled her eyes. “It sounds like I’m trying to coach you on how to have sex.”
Tyler choked, and Hope winced.
“Christ, I’m really making a mess of things,” she said. “I swear to the goddess that I can have an appropriate conversation.”
For once, Hope’s colorful commentary made things better, and he sputtered through a laugh. “Never change,” he rasped. Tyler sucked in a lungful of air, and the tension eased as his lungs expanded. He repeated the process until the band around his chest disappeared.
The front door opened, and feet crunched in the snow as someone approached. Tyler didn’t need to look to know it wasn’t Owen. Why had he never questioned that phenomenon before now?
“There you are.” Gary’s booming voice reached them before he did. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Kindness and possibly regret shimmered in Hope’s eyes. Tyler didn’t want her to feel bad, so he removed his hands from his pockets and hugged her. “I’m okay,” he whispered.
Hope squeezed him tightly before stepping back and letting go.
“Umm,” Gary said. “Did I interrupt something?”
Hope turned to face her husband, but Tyler couldn’t do it yet. Not with so much emotion simmering just beneath the surface. He needed to be in better control of his expressions before interacting with anyone, so he kept his gaze locked on Hope’s profile.
“Not at all,” Hope said. “Your timing is impeccable. I’m in the mood to dance with my husband.” She smiled at Tyler and patted his arm. “I’ll see you back inside.”