Chapter Sixteen #2
She snuffled. “Everyone is going to know what I did.” She gripped him tight enough that her fingernails would have dug into his skin if not for his long sleeves. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just…lost it. I was so fucking mad at Nat.”
“Wait a minute,” Abbott said gently. “We need to go through some proper channels.” He Mirandized Cynthia and asked if she wanted to call an attorney.
Seth freed himself from her grasp and stepped back.
If he wanted to maintain his professionalism, he probably should keep his cousin’s killer out of arm’s reach.
Seth eased back around to the front of her desk.
There was only one chair, and he sat down in it to make eye contact easier.
Abbott remained in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest.
Cynthia swiped her arm over her face to wipe her runny nose. All traces of the professional woman Seth knew were gone. “The truth has eaten me alive and destroyed every relationship I’ve ever had. It’s time.”
“Do you have any weapons in your desk or on your person I should know about?” Seth asked.
Cynthia swallowed hard and shook her head.
“I haven’t so much as hurt a fly since that day.
” She raised her chin and met Seth’s gaze.
Tears poured down her cheeks, and he slid the box of tissues to her.
She snatched two and began wiping her face.
“I mean it, Seth. I never intended to hurt her. But she…” Cynthia balled the tissues in her fist and emitted a fierce growl. “She wouldn’t listen to me.”
“Tell me why you were so mad in the first place.”
A hot flush stole across her cheeks, as if the memory might still infuriate her. Then, Cynthia raised her head and met Seth’s gaze again. Misery shimmered in her eyes, and he saw remorse instead of fury.
“We had a huge fight about Ryan.” Cynthia shook her head. “No, that’s not fair. Ryan was just the final straw.”
“How so?” Seth asked.
Cynthia banged her balled fist on top of her desk, and anger replaced misery in an instant.
“I lived in Natalie’s shadow my entire fucking life.
She was prettier, sweeter, smarter, and funnier.
She was better at everything we tried, from sports to dancing.
Every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to date her.
My own family loved her more than me. My dad used to call her his favorite daughter.
And you know what, Seth? I understood. I loved her so damn much, and I felt honored that she’d want me for her best friend.
I lived to please her.” Cynthia’s chest heaved as she took big, gulping breaths.
“Ryan was supposed to be different.” Cynthia’s entire body quaked, and then she yelled, “He said he wanted me! He loved me!”
Her words bounced off the walls in the tiny office, and Cynthia covered her mouth with trembling fingers.
“Ryan told me I was beautiful and special. He said he loved me. No guy had ever paid attention to me with Natalie around, and I soaked in his attention like a sponge.” Her expression suddenly turned so brittle Seth expected Cynthia’s face to crack.
“Ryan was the perfect boyfriend until I gave him what he wanted. I cried in Natalie’s arms when he dumped me.
She stroked my hair and told me I deserved better.
” Cynthia started trembling again, and rage made her pupils dilate until only the thinnest circle of her irises showed.
“What I deserved was a better friend because that whore stole Ryan out from under me, but I didn’t know for a while.
” She snorted derisively. “I figured it out about the same time I realized that son of a bitch gave me an STD. I was too ashamed to tell my parents or Natalie. I buried my head in the sand and hoped it would go away on its own.” Cynthia’s voice trailed off, and her eyes seemed to lose focus.
“How’d you find out Natalie was dating Ryan?” Seth asked, hoping to steer her back on track.
Cynthia flinched, blinked a few times, and looked surprised to see him in her office.
Her lips curved into a surprised smile until she saw Abbott and remembered why they were there and what they’d been discussing.
The sorrow, shame, and anger blanketed her fine features once more, and Seth nodded for her to continue.
“Natalie stopped making time for our friendship. She was suddenly too busy to talk on the phone or hang out. She seemed preoccupied and had a perpetual coy smile on her face that said she knew a secret. So, I followed her one night and caught her sneaking off to be with that asshole Ryan. She met him at the river and got in his truck. I was too crushed and broken to approach them, so I drove home. Natalie came over to my house the next morning, looking like the cat who ate the canary. And I lost it. I told her I knew she was dating Ryan behind my back. She apologized and claimed she hadn’t meant to hurt me.
Nat said she’d confronted Ryan about the way he mistreated me, and something sparked between them.
” Cynthia growled. “I saw what flared between them, or I would have if that panting whore hadn’t fogged up his truck windows.
” Cynthia grimaced and released a new torrent of tears.
“We must’ve shouted at each other for an hour.
We both said the meanest things. And since the truth was out in the open, she bragged that Ryan invited her to hang out at the river with his friends. ”
Seth clenched his fists hard enough to snap his bones, but he kept his voice calm and nonthreatening. “Did you follow her to the river that day?”
Cynthia nodded. “Ryan kept me a secret from his friends, but he eagerly introduced Natalie to them. I just had to see for myself what was so special about her, so I took my brother to the elderly neighbor next door. I drove to the river and hid in the woods. Ryan smoked a joint and offered it to Nat, but she refused. Fucking Goody Two-shoes. He got frisky and wanted to make out, but I could tell she was uncomfortable doing that in front of his friends. Hell, the other couples were going at it, but Natalie was too prissy. Ryan eventually coaxed her into kissing him, but he got too handsy. Nat freaked out when he tried to untie her bikini top. She shoved him away and jumped to her feet. They exchanged some heated words, and Natalie stomped away. I couldn’t tell if she cried tears of humiliation or anger.
It was a toss-up with Nat.” Cynthia rolled her eyes as if she wasn’t in the middle of a murder confession.
“You know how she got. High emotions all the time.”
“And you followed her deeper into the woods?” Seth asked.
“I tried to comfort her. I offered to take her home. Instead of being glad to see me, Natalie got pissed. Called me a pathetic pervert for spying on them. She…she…said some awful things and told me she didn’t want to be friends with a loser anymore.
I tried to explain that I only wanted to warn her away from Ryan because she would end up hurt like me.
He’d cast her aside as soon as he got what he wanted.
” Cynthia’s eyelids lowered to half-mast, but her gaze still looked unfocused, like she’d checked out.
Was she back at the river with Nat as she relived their last fight?
Then she blinked and locked her gaze on Seth.
All the anger and shame he’d witnessed earlier disappeared, leaving soul-deep despair.
“She mocked me, Seth. Taunted me. Natalie said she was smarter than I’d been.
She wasn’t going to be an easy lay because she wanted Ryan to respect her.
Then, Natalie touched a heart-shaped locket hanging from her neck.
I didn’t know Natalie’s pretty mouth could form such a cruel smile.
” Cynthia had described a side of Natalie he’d never seen, but he didn’t dispute or disrupt her.
“Nat bragged about Ryan giving her the necklace for her birthday. The only thing he’d given me was chlamydia. I…I called her a whore.”
Cynthia breathed faster, almost panting, as she neared the climax of the story.
“She slapped me and stomped off. I saw red. That’s the only way I can describe it.
My vision was clear one minute and hazy red the next.
It felt like I wasn’t in control. I was just a prisoner of my…
baser instincts, I guess. An out-of-body experience.
The real me is shouting ‘no’ as the monster in control picked up a fat, stubby tree limb and ran after her.
I caught up to her near the riverbank and swung it at the back of Natalie’s head.
” Cynthia’s voice had gone cold and undetached, but her gaze burned hot enough to scorch Seth where he sat.
“The limb connected with a sick thud, and she went down. And that pissed me off, too, because I’d wanted a fight, and she just lay there, unmoving and not making a sound. So I hit her again.”
Seth flinched like she’d physically hit him. He tried to block the images of Natalie’s last minutes, but they kept coming. His stomach pitched and rolled, but he managed not to throw up. He forced himself to take shallow breaths and pay attention to what Cynthia said.
“Inside my head, I was screaming at myself to stop, but I couldn’t do it.
I don’t know how many times I hit her, and I don’t remember dragging her into the river.
My next lucid memory is of me cowering in my shower at home, holding Natalie’s precious necklace in my hands.
” She blinked several times as if coming out of a fugue state. “I still have it.”
“The necklace?” Seth’s voice sounded stifled and unnatural, but Cynthia didn’t seem to notice.