Chapter Ten #4
She studied his face for only a few seconds before her lips twisted into a knowing smirk.
“Your body language tells me everything I need to know, and you’re welcome that I insisted you include the fireplace and fancy shower in your bedroom suite.
” She held up her hands before Kerry could respond. “Again, just let me have this moment.”
“Did you call me here to gloat?”
Lucinda placed a hand on her chest and batted her eyelashes dramatically. “Me?”
“Careful,” Kerry cautioned. “You’ll lose an extension.”
His mother rolled her eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like to be lash impaired. Both you and Natalie inherited Graham’s eyelashes. All the Harts have long, black eyelashes that don’t require curling or mascara. It’s just not fair.”
“I admire how easily you can say their names.” Kerry hadn’t intended to take their conversation in a heavy direction, but maybe that had been his problem all along.
Lucinda reached across the table for his hands, and he obliged her. “It hasn’t always been this easy, but you know that.”
“You put in the time and hard work to heal,” Kerry said.
“One step, one hour, and one day at a time. I didn’t have a choice. You’d lost your sister to a violent death and your father to grief. I wouldn’t leave you alone in this world. You were my reason for fighting every single day.”
Damn, how he loved this woman. “You started fighting for yourself at some point. You opened the salon, and you fell in love with Steven.” Kerry shook his head. “I don’t know how you learned to love again.”
Lucinda took a deep breath and looked like she was considering her words. “I couldn’t stay mad at Graham. I wanted to, but he hadn’t left us because he didn’t love us anymore. He blamed himself for Natalie’s death and never recovered.”
The discussion between his parents on the morning their lives changed forever was as clear as if it had happened yesterday instead of twenty-five years ago.
Natalie had just gotten her license and wanted to drive to the river to hang out with friends.
Lucinda had said no, which prompted a rare argument between mother and daughter.
Graham had intervened and worked out a compromise.
Natalie could take Seth and Kerry to the ice cream parlor in town and meet up with her friends there.
He couldn’t have known Natalie would drop off the boys in town and catch a ride to the river with a guy she’d been secretly dating.
“Graham’s protective instincts became so severe that he wanted to shut us in against the world so no one else could hurt us.
The isolation only deepened his depression until he became unrecognizable, Kerry.
I urged Graham to get help. I wanted him to see a therapist to talk through his grief and paranoia.
He just couldn’t live in a world without Natalie.
” She shook her head sadly and squeezed Kerry’s hands before releasing him.
“He lost out on watching you grow up to be an incredible man who risks his life to save others. I’d like to think Graham and Natalie are watching over us. They’d be so proud.”
Maybe on some level, Kerry realized he’d followed in his father’s footsteps.
He’d built a protective wall around his heart and rarely let new people in.
His close friendships were all ones he’d formed before Natalie died.
He respected and liked his crew, but he only knew them professionally.
Kerry had made space in his life for sexual pleasure with willing partners who knew the score, but he never permitted physical comfort.
That changed when he met Keegan. Somewhere along the way, he realized he’d been existing instead of living.
“I don’t want to close myself off to love anymore. ”
“Then don’t,” Lucinda said firmly. “You’ve had countless examples of the truest love within our family alone.
Everything you need is right here” —she pointed to her temple, then to her heart—“and right here. It’s never too late to start therapy to work on the things that are holding you back from the rich life you deserve. ”
Kerry exhaled a shaky breath. He’d seen firsthand what a good therapist could do for people who’d bought into the process. “I’ll think about it, Ma.” He grinned wryly and shook his head. “I’m thirty-eight years old and about to go on my first date. I don’t want to mess this up with Keegan.”
“Sweetheart, don’t overthink this. Keegan isn’t a guy who needs grand gestures.”
“He deserves them. I thought about watching some rom-com movies to get ideas.”
Lucinda giggled and gestured for him to stop.
“Don’t do that. Keegan is crazy about you, not Hollywood’s version of the perfect man.
Keep it simple. Start with a nice dinner.
Then, you need a nonsexual activity. Bowling, a movie, or something you know he enjoys.
” Lucinda leaned close and waggled her brows.
“Then you get to the really good stuff.” She sighed wistfully and got a faraway look in her eyes.
“I remember when Steven and I first started dating.” Her emphasis on the word made him cringe.
“Got it,” Kerry said. “Dinner and an activity.” They could do both those things at his house, but he wanted to make Keegan feel special. “Anything else you want to recommend?”
“Don’t screw this up.”
No pressure. “Yes, ma’am.”