Chapter 16
Mallorie Jade
17 years old
Aparty rages around me, but everything inside of me is empty. These people don’t realize that we are celebrating my brother’s downfall. They all think we are here to celebrate that he, along with Hayes, just signed to a D1 college to play football next fall, but I know the truth—and it is never pretty.
Silverware clinks against a glass somewhere in the room, and I turn my attention to the sound along with everyone else. My mom and dad are standing at the bottom of our grand staircase with Langston between them, looking proud as punch. It makes me sick.
I want to run up there and scream at all these people who so obliviously admire Mom and Dad that it’s fake—a show they put on for the masses. But that would only fire up the train of gossip—adding to my already tainted reputation, at least in the eyes of my mom and dad. After all, a free-spirited child is just an ill-mannered child.
“What has you glaring so hard?” A voice says from beside me, and I nearly jump out of my skin.
Hayes towers over me in a suit, and when my gaze meets his, those steel irises darken to the color of storm clouds. I have to subtly wipe my mouth to make sure I’m not drooling.
“Nothing,” I say. My voice is harsher than I mean it to be as I turn my head back to the stars of the show—my mom and dad. Forget this being Langston’s day. This is their day.
“Are you avoiding me, little Harrison?”
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. “What makes you say that?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe the fact that we haven’t spoken in six months.”
My heart decides that second to take off like a bullet, racing until I’m afraid it might beat out of my chance.
He’s right.
After my argument with Langston, I started avoiding Hayes—no longer putting myself out there to be the embarrassment. It’s one thing to be an embarrassment to my parents, but it’s another to be one to my brother. But I didn’t think that Hayes would notice I’d been avoiding him. Besides being my first kiss, he’s never really shown interest outside of me being Langston’s little sister. Sure, he invited me to tag along places with them, but I always thought that was more out of pity than anything.
“I have my own life, you know.”
It’s not true, but he doesn’t need to know that.
From my peripheral, I see Hayes stiffen, and I think there’s a flash of hurt across his face—there and then gone in a flash.
“I just thought I was part of that life,” he says, bending down so he’s whispering in my ear.
My head swivels toward him, and my breath catches in my throat. His face is inches from mine, and we are standing in a crowd full of people.
If my brother were to look this way, would he accuse me of embarrassing myself again by pursuing Hayes, even though Hayes was the one who sought me out?
The thought makes my throat ache, and I step to the side, putting distance between us.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t had plenty of girls throwing themselves at you, Hayes. I wasn’t missed much.”
His lip slips between his teeth, and gosh, what I wouldn’t give for it to be my lips on his.
“We are so glad everyone could join us today—” my father starts, calling everyone’s attention with a booming voice. It’s a voice of authority—one that I’ve heard a hundred times in my lifetime, but also one I can’t help but wish would talk to me with love just once.
“But you were.” Hayes’s words are whispered balm to my soul.
They make me feel seen in a world where I am perpetually invisible.
As my dad’s speech comes to a close, Langston steps down from the step, looking through the crowd until he sees Hayes and me standing together. His eyes flash to me, and then Hayes and back to me, a silent question in his eyes, and it hurts. But like always, I shove that hurt down deep and paste on a bright smile while he approaches.
When he gets close, he doesn’t bother looking at me but slaps Hayes on the back and says, “Let’s get out of here and celebrate.”
Hayes throws me a look, obviously confused as to why Langston is ignoring me, but how can I tell him it’s because Langston thinks I’m embarrassingly hung up on his best friend?
With a sad smile, I turn to walk away, but Hayes’s voice follows me.
“Why don’t you come with us, MJ?”
My teeth find my bottom lip.
The smart thing to do would be to keep walking and pretend I didn’t hear him.
I’m not smart, though, because I stand there debating a millisecond too long.
Hayes appears in my peripheral, and then he’s in front of me, smiling down.
What is he doing?
Looking over my shoulder, I search for Langston to gauge his reaction, but he must have the same question because he’s looking at Hayes like he’s gone crazy. Then he looks at me and gives a subtle shake of his head.
“I—uh—that’s okay. I’ll just—uh—stay at the party, I think.”
“Nonsense,” Hayes says, ignoring the glares that Langston is now sending his way. “Come with us. Don’t you want to celebrate your big brother and me getting into college? After all, with my grades and Langston’s fat head, it was a little iffy there for a while.”
Biting my cheek, I try not to giggle, but I can’t hold it back.
“Jerk,” Langston grumbles but seems resigned that Hayes isn’t letting it go. I’m coming along whether he likes it or not. “Fine. You can come, but you’re sworn to secrecy.”
My brows dip. “What do you mean?”
“You’ll see,” he says, mischief in his smile.
I shrug, unconcerned. It can’t be too bad. Langston never does anything to get in trouble.
“Bring on your worst.”
______________________
“Come on, Mallorie Jade. You’re going to get us caught,” Langston says, tipping a bottle of vodka up against his lips.
I hate when he calls me that. He sounds like our parents, but I’m not about to open my mouth now. Not when it’s his night to celebrate. The drinking worries me, though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink before. He treats his body like a temple, only putting things in it that will fuel it for football. Plus, he takes the rules seriously, so this is out of character for him.
“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I say, struggling to lift myself over the fence that Langston easily jumped over. Strong hands wrap around my waist and lift me, making it easier to get over. Once my feet are on solid ground, I turn to Hayes and mouth, “Thank you.”
He merely nods and makes the jump so he’s on the same side as us.
My heart pitter-patters as his arm brushes against mine. I should not have this reaction to him. It’s not good for my health. He’s leaving for college, and I’m staying behind.
“Are you guys coming or what?” Langston asks, annoyance filtering his voice. He’s halfway across the football field, walking backward as he watches us.
Hayes shakes his head. “What’s gotten into him?”
I shrug, pretending I don’t know, but I do. Langston doesn’t want this life, but he’ll never admit that aloud—not even to his best friend.
“Come on,” Hayes says, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him. “Let’s go save him from himself.”
The locker rooms are on the other side of the football field. Langston is waiting for us there. His eyes drop to where Hayes’s hand is wrapped around mine. He doesn’t say anything but pinches his lips tightly together. I pull my hand from Hayes’s like my skin is on fire.
Langston clears his throat, takes another drink of the drink in his hand, and takes his backpack off his back.
“Are you guys ready to have some fun?” Langston asks, a sneaky grin on his face.
“I don’t know, L,” Hayes says, looking around. “Are we even supposed to be here? We could get in trouble. Maybe you can afford that, but I can’t.”
“Nah. We’ll be fine. We aren’t doing anything wrong—well, besides the drink,” he says, his grin turning goofy. His words are starting to slur, and it’s clear he’s starting to feel the effects of the drink. Neither Hayes nor I have taken a drink, and the bottle is already halfway empty. He had to have started on it well before we got here. “Here, take this.”
Langston shoves the bottle at me, tipping it, and some of the liquid spills on my clothes.
“What the heck, man?” Hayes says, glaring at Langston. He moves closer to me, and his hand comes up, brushing the liquid off my collarbone. The movement sends a shiver down my spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps along my skin.
“Sorry, MJ,” Langston says, looking a little sheepish.
Hayes’s hand is still brushing along the line where my shirt meets my neck, making it impossible to speak, so I swallow and give him a stiff nod.
“Okay, check it out.” Langston starts pulling out several things from his backpack: a funnel, balloons, paint—all while blissfully unaware of the tension thrumming through the air between Hayes and me.
Clearing my throat, I step forward towards Langston, trying to put some distance between Hayes and me before I spontaneously combust, but as I do, he lets his fingers trail down my arm to meet mine before slowly removing his hand completely.
“What are we going to do with that?” I ask, holding a balloon between my fingers.
“We have fun.”
It’s the spark in Langston’s eyes that has me giving in to everything we do next.
He takes the balloon from my hand, stretches the funnel around it, and fills it with paint before tying it off. Then, he repeats the process until a pile of paint-filled balloons is lying on the turf. Then he stands, and with a smile that reminds me of the brother I had before all the pressure started to drown him, he says, “Who’s ready for a war?”
I can’t lie. It sounds fun and unlike anything my brother usually gets up to, but I’m worried about the trouble we are about to get into—not for me, but for Hayes, who doesn’t say anything to Langston’s question.
If Langston and I get in trouble, our parents will bail us out, but for Hayes, it might not be that easy.
“I don’t know,” I say, looking down at the balloons and then back at Langston. “Won’t this stain the field?”
“Nah,” he says, picking up a balloon and weighing it in his hand. “It’s supposed to rain tonight. I checked the weather. It will erase any evidence that we were here. So—what do you say?”
I look at Hayes, trying to judge his feelings on this. If he’s not up for it, then I won’t be either, no matter how much my brother might try to talk us into it.
I’m all for Langston breaking the rules—he needs to break more of his own—but not at the expense of Hayes’s future. Hayes actually wants the life that Langston would kill to get out of. The scholarship, college, dreams of the NFL—he wants it all, and I won’t jeopardize that for him.
But when I turn to Hayes, there’s humor in his eyes. “Let’s do it.”
He bends to grab a balloon, and before I realize what’s happening, he throws it at me, hitting me square in the chest and sending paint splattered all over me.
The smile he wears is cocky as I stand there in shock, but when a balloon whizzes by me, hitting him in the same spot, I have to purse my lips to keep from laughing.
And as Langston gives a battle cry, yelling “War” into the night sky, I feel a weight lighten in my chest.
I can worry about my brother another day, but for tonight, I’m going to revel in the peace of being here on a football field with my brother and best friend one more time.
We play the game for another hour, spreading it further out on campus than just the football field. The school is our playground, and we use every obstacle we can as our defense. None of us are on teams, and we only stop to refill the balloons with paint.
I got separated from the boys about ten minutes ago, and I’ve been sneaking around in the dark, throwing myself behind things whenever I hear a noise as I look for them.
A twig crackles behind me, and I spin, releasing the balloon from my hands. Only–it’s not either of the boys standing there. It’s an officer. There’s paint splattered across his shoes, and he’s holding the empty vodka bottle Langston left on the ground. It’s not humor on his face, either.
“I—uh—can explain,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, but I know that’s not happening. I can smell the vodka on me where Langston spilled it on me earlier, and I’ve been caught red-handed throwing the balloon.
I’m in a lot of trouble. I just hope the boys are smart enough to stay hidden.