Chapter 1
AVA REYNOLDS
Iarrived in Chicago two days later.
The moment I stepped through Saint and Zahra’s front door, the aroma of the house made me emotional.
It smelled like Zahra’s favorite candles and whatever expensive scent housekeeping had lingering through the vents.
The aroma was familiar, warm, and safe. And still, it made me want to turn around and walk right back out.
For a few seconds, I just stood in the doorway with my carry-on in one hand and my oversized tote on my shoulder. I’d had all of my other belongings and what I’d accumulated over the last four months shipped back so I didn’t have to deal with all of that luggage at the airport.
I stood there, taking in the massive foyer, the polished floors, the high ceilings, and the luxury. Just a few months ago, these beautiful walls had felt like a very expensive cage.
And they still did.
A part of me wished I was still in Thailand, eating fresh fruit, haggling with vendors, building my hair business, and keeping my pregnancy to myself.
It had been easier there. I didn’t have to think about the drama that was waiting on me here or the fact that the second everybody found out I was pregnant, my peace would be over, especially once Reek found out.
My stomach turned at that thought. Actually, everything in me had been in knots since the plane landed.
I was overwhelmed by too much at once; hiding the pregnancy, telling Zahra, seeing her face when I told her who the father was, telling Reek, experiencing his reaction when he found out, and even actually seeing him at all, after all these months of silence.
I hadn’t heard his voice, seen his face, or had to stand in front of him and act like he didn’t still own me.
That alone was enough to make me sick to my stomach, outside of the morning sickness.
“Ava!” Zahra’s voice exploded through my thoughts, and when I looked up, she was at the top of the stairs with the biggest smile on her face.
My heart softened instantly. She had one hand on the railing and the other under that huge, round belly of hers, moving way too fast for somebody that far along.
I had seen her big belly countless times on FaceTime but seeing it in person was different.
Her stomach sat heavy in front of her, stretching the soft cream lounge set she had on.
She was glowing, beautiful, and smiling so hard it almost made me forget my own mess for a second.
Almost.
We had talked every day while I was in Thailand. Sometimes more than once a day. But I still knew she had been scared I wasn’t coming back. And, honestly, there had been moments when I wasn’t sure I was.
“Girl, slow down,” I called out. “Stop running before you fall and hurt yourself.”
She kept on coming anyway, one hand on her belly, the other sliding along the railing while she grinned at me like she hadn’t seen me in ten years instead of a few months.
The second she hit the last step, she ran towards me. “Oh my God, you’re home!” Her arms went around me so tight and fast that my whole body locked up.
I hugged her back, but every nerve I had went on high alert.
Please don’t feel it.
Please don’t feel it.
I had on an oversized sweatshirt and loose joggers for a reason.
My little bulge still wasn’t much. I was young, in shape, and the food was so much healthier in Thailand that I had actually leaned out everywhere else.
My face was a little slimmer. My arms looked good.
If anything, I just looked a little bloated.
Unlike Zahra, whose baby bump was huge and impossible to miss, mine was still small enough to hide if I wore the right clothes and kept people from holding onto me too long.
So, while Zahra squeezed me and rocked me side to side, I fought the urge to pull away too quickly and make it obvious.
“I missed you so much,” she said, finally letting me go enough to hold me at arm’s length. Her eyes ran over my face. “Look at you. Your skin is glowing. Thailand did you good.”
I blushed, trying to act normally while subtly shifting my tote in front of me.
She rolled her eyes. “You were over there living your best life while I was home getting big as hell.”
“You look good,” I told her honestly. “Very good. But stop flying down those stairs like that. I’m serious. If you fall, Saint would lose it.”
As if he’d heard his name, the back patio door slid open, and Saint stepped in from outside.
The cool air followed him in for a second before the door shut behind him. He had on jogging pants, a fitted white tee, and that usual dangerous ease about him, like he could be laughing on the patio one second and shooting somebody in the face the next.
As soon as his eyes landed on me, a taunting look crossed his face.
“Well, damn,” he said, spreading his arms. “Look who finally decided to bring her ass back to America.” I smiled as he came over and wrapped me up in one of those strong, quick hugs that somehow always felt both affectionate and aggressive.
“What’s up?” He pulled back and looked me over. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I nodded too fast. “I’m good.”
“Mm-hmm. I should’ve sent somebody to get you. You so hardheaded.”
“I told y’all I was fine.”
Zahra clicked her tongue. “We could’ve picked you up.”
“I know. But I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
I smiled, but inside, all I could think about was wanting space, freedom, and air.
Them fussing over me should’ve felt good.
Part of me knew it was real and safe love.
But another part of me felt that old familiar suffocation creeping back in.
It made my skin itch. That was exactly why I had refused to let either of them pick me up from the airport.
I needed to breathe for a second before walking back into them hovering over me with watchful eyes.
“You hungry?” Zahra asked, already reaching for my bag like I was a guest instead of somebody who had lived under this roof before.
“I’ll order something in a minute,” I said quickly.
“Why?” Saint probed as he took my suitcase from Zahra. “We can have the chef whip something up.”
“I’m missing Chicago food.”
He ignored me, though. “Come on. We got food.”
I stood there for a second watching both of them move around me, happy, loving, excited to have me home, and all I could think was that I needed my own place ASAP.
Thailand had given me more than distance; it had also given me direction.
Thailand was full of the vendors that these influencers try to gatekeep.
I was right there with them, able to walk into the factories and touch the hair with my own hands.
I got connected to the right vendors that had the best raw bundles, wigs, and closures, and very reliable shipping.
I had built my online hair business, Royal Strandz, up way faster than I expected, and the money had been stacking.
I had even managed to get my hair into the hands of a few hair influencers with big followings, and once they started posting about my brand, my business went viral.
I had more than enough of my own money to get my own place, and that was even more important now that I was pregnant.
Because if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that once Zahra and Reek found out the truth, this house was going to stop feeling warm really quickly.
It was going to feel cold and way too small.
And I already felt the walls closing in on me.
As I followed Saint and Zahra, holding my tote right in front of my stomach, I prayed I could keep my secret a little longer.